Wow- I've got alot of stuff to keep me occupied! As nice as that can be, it's almost like I'll never finish all of the fun things I want to do. Until recently I didn't have this problem, but on top of things like pictomation/art, traditional drawing, Tim's movie board, trying to learn the violin… I'm swamped with too many fun things to do!
      I also raped my monthly bandwith allowance for the first time ever! Thank you, nintendo DS forums!
I had some really neat videos, but I guess those'll just have to come up on May the one-st.
I'll see you then!

I practically forgot this place existed! I feel all down and dirty inside, like I need a cold shower.
My art probably won't be here, unless I feel it deserves special attention.
You can find all of my new art here.
If I have FFCC or Castlevania I'll definately post it here, and when my flash comes in from newgrounds I'll hopefully choke the crap out of my monthly bandwith allowance.
Well, I'm waiting for my tablet to come in the mail, so flashing can really start! I'll be frame-by-framing before anyone knows what hit them.
Also, I dessimated my mom's Enya Cd in the microwave, WHILE I WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Sounds like a funny story? That's cause it is. Just drop me an "e-line" to get the full scoop.
I still have to do my devotions for tonight (which is a habit by now, thankfully) and I'll be studying A&P and Geometry on Sunday. Send me your best of wishes, everyone!
     Just Plain Ole',
            Jonathan
P.S: They aren't much of Martin Luthers, but those lunch ladies give it their darndest to produce their own version of the 95 Theses. Ppf, more like the 2 weenies. Aw, nevermind.

      Man, it's been a while, my old friend, Detailed Scribbles. I've been doing so much that I've totally forgotten about the fun times we used to share, the hundreds of people we used to attract, but now I'm afraid I've left my duties from you. It's not that I don't enjoy your company anymore- no, not at all. I've worked more when I haven't had to now than ever before. For the first time I've found myself to be a voluntary busy bee.
    It disgusts me too, my friend.
    So here I am, presenting myself in a vein attempt to rekindle the ashes of a relashionship that seemed to be extinguished long ago, but there is still hope, my little virtual ash pile: I will finish a flash cartoon, one that I (for the first time ever) am working seriously on. I will host it here first, then newgrounds, and I will put a link to here, and I'll get so many hits that your bandwith usage will be bursting at the seam, just like theNovember of yesteryear!
    My work depends on your future, my love! I will work to save you!
         …
     DANG IT! I missed Malcom in the Middle! It was on at 7:00PM Eastern 6:00PM Pacific Time!
    Well, Back to the "Drawing Bored."
             Best of Wishes,
                    Jonathan
P.S: EVERYONE ON MY FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY- I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T MAILED THANK YOU CARDS YET. I LOVED ALL OF MY PRESENTS/GIFTS, AND I'VE BEEN PESTERING MY MOM FOR 3 WEEKS NOW TO GET ME STATIONARY. I LOVE YOU ALL, TOO, AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH. ESPECIALLY YOU, UNCLE MARK. YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE!

      I saw on the news today about Punxatawny Phillip, the bad-butt rodent of whom determines such colossal events like (but not limited to) the duration of the winter holidays. Having some sort of power like that must be highly sought after. I suppose that's why so many people gather at his events. Not a whole lot of people know this, but the gopher his-self will only answer you if you declair his supremacy while simultaneously chopping off the head of a baby. Seriously though, you can't just join in on Groundhog Day if you want to have some "light fun." Those people on stage are hardcore, and their holiday is hardcore too, so don't think you can wrap up in your scarf and go out and play with the big boys. And God help you if you wear scarves while warm indoors, or I'll hunt your butt down just like in that movie "Surviving the Game", which I haven't seen because it is probably Rated R.
      On the subject, my mom let me rent Silent Hill 3 which is one of the biggest steps in our Mother-Son relationship in a long time. My mind was about as blown away as the monsters I met with my shotgun in the game. She let me rent a game that was Rated M. {Danielle's thought on the topic: "Obviously it was a mistake. She must've thought the 'M' stood for 'Mom,' not 'Mature'."}She is now one step closer to über-Mom status, which is reserved only for the greatests of great moms, like Mrs. Evans for instance.
    Flash is really a labour of love. Using layers is so ridiculously hard the first few times, and I still don't have any of it down just right yet. Well, here's looking at me, Jonathan. I'm t3h stuff dreams are made of.

More exam today! More exam today! I had the reading exam today. It was quite possibly the hardest test I've ever taken. I gave Tim this neat-o shirt for his birfday, and then we allez'd  to McDonalds for a meal of awesome. Pretty good day in all. I wouldn't mind doing something like that again.
I updated the homepage, FFCC gallery, random gallery, and real world news (duh.)
KTHXBYELOLJFKJFKBBQ11!!!2!2!@!!!@11!1@`
Jonathan

      Today I went to see Meet the Føckers, and it was so bad I left the theatre 45 minutes into it. I only wish I was kidding, but I'm not. The whole thing was like a chore to sit through. On a lighter note, I finally got a DS! It took long enough, but it's finally here. I decided to update  a little, more updates later. KBYE.
           Jonathan

    Today I escaped a History report, experienced the love hate relationship of First Friends, and bled profusely out of my temple when "New Girl" (I think her real name is Katie) threw a pen at my temple. It bled profusely, but stopped after about 1 minute. It was a wound the size of a needle head, and I got it cleaned out to make sure nothing would happen, so Mom, if you are reading this, don't call new girl's parents and Heritage saying what failures both are for letting this "happen." In the incident I bled all over this frog Ms. Destefano had from Spain, and she definately showed her prioritizing skills when she lamented that she'd have to give it up. It's mine now, the bloody frog.
    You know what? I think I'll try something different tomorrow, and I think you'll like it.
    I am Such a Bleeding Genious,
          Jonathan
P.S: Give me money for Jesus-mas!

      Today was very constructivve. I got the picture done on the homepage during 55 minute long detention, and a funny thing happened to me to-day.
    It started with this bracelet I got for contributing to Hot Topic's modern-day-Salvation-Army-esque project. I had this fun little bracelet that said MUSIC=LIFE on it. It is the strongest rubber band you will ever play with (definately worth one dollar). I flung this at Tim, of course. He took the liberty to take it. Embracing my race of testosterone, I snuck behind him and tried to wrestle it off of him. That didn't go very well. Andy helped, and eventually I got it off of him. After that class I found myself going into my locker like I always do, but what ho, the locker handle was sticky! That poop Tim jammed his chewing gum in it! I peeled it off and chased after him; it only took a few steps before he was within throwing distance, so I chucked the pre-chewed gum piece at the back of his head. Upon instinct, he touched it to see what it was and stuck the gum in his hair! all by himself! I entered the ole' 2-10 Linc room laughing my tail off, when suddenly I felt a very familiar substance pressed against my neck; it was Tim, and he tried to press the gum against my neck, but it wouldn't stick because it was entwined with his hair. Now there's a little eensy-weensy piece of Tim's hair missing from the back of his neck.

    My afternoon bus ride had been revolutionized.
    I decided to give all of the little children on my bus names their mommies didn't give 'em. Here's the names I came up with (in order of importance):

• El Capitain: Chuck, the bus driver
• 2nd in Command: me
• "Leave Me the Heck Alone": Danielle, my sister- she didn't want a real nickname.
  
• Spanky: Austin Shaheen (the mastermind behind "BOXERFLAKES")
• Cool Girl: Austin's sister, of whom dropped a cat off of a 6 story balcony (it didn't die, if you care)
• Lamar: Some blonde kid on my bus- he wanted the name "Car Master" but I paired him with the best 90's name evar.
• Poindexter: Lamar's brother- had to pair him up with a 90's name, too.
• ex-Spanky: This was the original Spanky (and he really looks like a Spanky). Maybe I'll change his name to "Stanley"….
  
• Snacks: This one girl has snacks on the bus every time I see her.
• Squeaky: changed from "blonde demon" changed from "blonde sunshine" because apparently her old name clashed with her desired look (read: she got made fun of)
• Girl Who Buys Crappy Videogames Because She Doesn't Know Any Better/ Gaming Eskimo: Snack's sister- This girl always plays some Nickelodeon-based game on her pink GBA. She wanted to be called "Gamegirl" but there was no way I'd give her a halfway cool name when she plays Spongebob and Fairly Oddparents games and likes it.
• Little Red: Some girl with orange Barbie-Doll hair. Yup, that's pretty much it.
• Evil Peanut: Yet another girl interested in joining this session of my manipulating of minds.
• D Smiles: short for Dolly Smiles. This girl is always smiling, but she's very camera shy.
• …
  

This cool document is so going on Kyle Otto's locker tomorrow!
Download it here: (Sorry Mac users, Windows only.)
Is your Child a Kyle Otto?
And while you're here, download my funny funny story:
The Best Medieval Romance Evar (.doc)

    Meh, can't say a lot is happening. For the HCS project I changed the structure entirely to fit around characters, so now you'll pick between Cory, Jarrod and me at the beginning. Also, ******* James Morris will be an unlockable character, and I can't wait to draw and animate him! (read: I don't want to draw and animate him)
    Workin' on proofs today in Geometry. It's fun! It's just as fun/retarded as said it would be. None of it is useful, or even aplicable to anything; and when I say anything I mean anything.
    I'll just keep on truckin'. I don't have much else to worry about. Well, I do think Ms. DeStefano mentioned about a Christmas concert being next week, but who really cares? I know I don't. No sir. Ma'am.

      Well, as far as the HCS project goes, I'm only about 75 pictures short of what I need to start. As large as that sounds it really has come a long way (300 something photos, all painstakingly categorized), but I don't know how I'll get the pictures for the top of the fire escapes door, the rest of the auditorium, or the cat walk (which will be especially hard to get, believe me).
    Another factor I didn't anticipate came up: Christmas is coming, and decorations are going up. I'll need to have the flash done by December 17th if I want to pull it off by the end of school. Also, I'll have to incorporate a Christmas idea into the plot/gameplay, which has about in 0% production so far. This entire thing will take so much work, but in the end it'll be worth it.
    Oh, and if Cory and Jarrod are reading this, I need to record your walking posture from the front, back, and left side. Call me whenever you can come over (which won't be over Turkey Day vacation, which will be spent with my dad {wahay!})
    Hope to see you all soon, and do something for yourself for Turkey Day. God helps those that help themselves!
           Kiss Me, I'm,
                 Jonathan

      James is coming to my house this Sunday! I'm excited, to say the least. Secret project, which we'll call the "HCS Project" (for now) is progressing slowly but surely. Who would've guessed that they had flash tutorials at www.flashkit.com? I guess it makes sense. It's alot more helpful than macromedia's site, which just sends you in circles.
      Oh, and props to Brett Gilliland for letting me borrow his digital camera: I couldn't do the HCS Project without it. He also knows some URL tag to get an enbtire page in 1337. I'll have to ask him about that….
      Well, that's all here. I can't wait to spend my extended weekend working at Lolli's restaurant (google it:)

      Well, have a fun,
             <3  Jonathan
P.S: I hope my mom doesn't figure out that "<3" is a heart, or I'll be in big trouble. No, seriously.

       That secret project I am, excuse me, was working on was going smoothly. I'm grounded from "excessive time consumption" of the computer variety. All of the pictures I took of the school failed to develop (yes that's right, every single one of them). It was due to some shutter malfunction or lighting problem, or the fact that I bought the camera from Rite-Aid. I really need to go digital. Here that, people? I NEED A DIGITAL CAMERA. Ooh, and a camcorder would be nice. Also, one of those red homestarrunner.com shirts with the star on it. With that shirt I may become a terrific athlete. I also want a really expensive green laser pointer from thinkgeek.com. All items mentioned are necccccccessary for living. I must have everything, precious.
      Please give me money,
             Jonathan
P.S: I'm still not gay.

      That secret project is going along quite nicely. I just finished getting some pictures from the hallways around school. Now all I need to do is get going on drawing those character models… Ah, I've already said enough. I'll probably have it done by the end of November- just in time for the holiday season! I can't wait to have it done- it will surely be the new shiz-nitch.
    And with that, adieu!
                Jonathan

P.S: To whoever is watching this site to see if I'm showing signs of terrorism/ misdemeanor, please note:
I am not planning to (nor will I ever) bomb my school or harm my fellow classmates. If you would like to infer that and tell my principal, try to get me arrested (again) or get me grounded for 3 weeks (again) then by all means- kiss my butt. Seriously. Oh, and while you're at it, find some [fitting explitive] just like you to spread lies about. Preferrably someone inside your very own Perry School District.
             Love,
                 Jonathan

P.P.S: I really, really, really don't like you at all.

    Good day, all. Today is a day of mystery and magic. Go out and explore! Embrace the sweet sweet taste of freedom, because you don't go to H*ritage Chr*stian S*hool. You don't worry about lame excuses for detentions to be given, lamer rules, or lamer logic. I had to serve that detention before, and it got old fast. I had to copy this most retarded poem, a poem so retarded, infact, that I hate-
    Uh, I'll finish that thought later. Gotta go!

     Boy, am I evar Jonathan. The essay you see on the homepage was not done correctly. It actually turns out that I was supposed to copy the BS twice, not once. Actual conversation between me and Mrs. De*m:
   
    Wait a second- what's this essay for?
Jonathan, you were talking all period.
    No I wasn't! All I did was ask if a question was for extra credit!
Oh please. I heard you talking all period.
   .::I wrote out what was at the bottom of the essay on the homepage. Mrs. D*em notices paper.::.

      I'd like to thank Jessyka for linking to my site. She is literally one of the coolest females evar, so be sure to see what she has cooking.
    Oh, and for that secret project thing, I was collecting pictures when Brad Zack's eye's came across this:

    Now Brad Zack, I know that Ohio State rules (supposedly. In reality I could/couldn't care less) but the guy spotted this person out of an entire crowd of people at a cross country meet.
    Talent? You could call it that; I'd refer to it as testosterone poisoning.
    If you request email updates for this site, then you have to email me first!

    Hey guys. How did everyone enjoy their long weekend? Yeah, I had some assignments I forgot to do, but I'm good now. Incase all of you didn't know, our BJ LINC teacher ("Teacher in a Box!!!11!1") decided to degrade us yet again by showing a video of Left Hand and his homo-erotic partner Right Hand. The thing, amidst it's own shortbus-esque quality, was pretty funny- if you inferred things. 3 hands dressed up as Mr. Conn (the Geometry teacher)- one on the head, and two where the hands normally are. Sometimes the two hand-hands would go under the table, resulting in the head-hand to say something like "Hey, that tickles!" And then good olde Mr. Conn would poke his head onto the side of the screen (while wearing his undershirt) looking ravenously at the clothes hand-being.
    If that isn't your idea of geometry intertwined with homo-eroticism, then you were obviously in that video, and I am truly sorry that I didn't see you.
    I got Flash today! I'm tinkering with it right now, but I can't wait to start the really cool stuff. I'll be working on a secret project in flash (drawings first, of course) so expect this sight to slow down  for a bit (as of now anyway). Also, this project will most likely take around 4 months to do, provided I get the resources.
    Man, my idea is so cool!

    Hey all. I just got my hands on Adobe Photoshop 7.0 for Crap OSX, and it's pretty fun. I hope I get the hang of the cool stuff soon (the layer concept is confusing me as of now) but I'll be splicing friends' heads on different bodies before you can say, "Hey, he's spicing on friends' heads on different bodies!"
    That 10-15 minute process speech- it couldn't have gone better. I ran out of ideas for topics on the day before it was due, so I resorted to the only thing I could do- being annoying.
    At first I thought, "What a great idea. Everybody'll love this one," but then I saw Kayla Rohr's speech. It was about the presentation of rabbits in judging thingies. It was really solid; so solid, in fact, that I began doubting my own speech. Was I prepared? All I had was an outline and my imagination (not the most solid base for an assignment, I know). Was I addressing the whole process topic? Kayla's was a great process, but the ideal example was cooking something. Mine was annoying people.
    "Jonathan, you're next." Mrs. Flara beckoned.
    I begged for more time. I was second out of everybody. Second. It was a pretty scary thing. Not only was it scary, but it was 40 points- a 40 points I was sure I was about to lose. But I had to go. I was pretty nervous; not exactly with stagefright, persay, but I was nervous nonetheless. My trump card was speaking about such an easy subject. After I BS'ed about some stimulus-response method, and then the first example of annoyance (Eve provoking Adam to a life of sin, and ultimately causing the death of every person who ever lived on Earth {except for one or two}).
    Next came the "Jonathan Principles". These were concrete properties that annoyance had to follow. I'll list them:

1. Annoyance is omnipresent.
2. Annoyance can make itself known under lack of annoyance.
3. Annoyance concentrated on one person will use the carrier to spread more annoyance.
4. Annoyance can only be stopped at gunpoint, a weapons edge, etc…

    Sorry I haven't been able to update in a while. I had a 5 page, single-spaced paper due in bible last week, and another one the week before that. And the cherry on the retarded cake: I have to plan a 10-15 minute process speech. I get to go second in the class.
    My dad is still in Europe on a business trip. He said he saw a statue that looked like me.
 More on it later.

    Today, I had a most masterful idea. You know how every year the seniors get their own "special" shirts to wear around school? Well, just barely beating out last year's design (actual writing: "12 years is longer then most prison sentences) I offered what I felt was a much better solution to the class of 2005:

    Now tell me that you wouldn't want something like that on a school tee-shirt. Not only is it awesome, but it is making fun of the concept of "student of the week" established by our very own Mr. Mis*ner! You go, guy! Democrats, like, totally rule!

      Hey, I think I got the hang of this soccer thing! I'm doing alot better now that I'm back in swing. Yes, that's right CC. All of you are going down. I'll start with that #11 who fouled Bylsma 7+ times. He never even got a yellow card! Tommorow we play against Lake Central, Lake Center, whatever it is. Yes, it'll be an easy win. And on an even brighter side, I've gone two (2) games in a row now without getting hit in the junk! I feel like a million bucks!
      No, wait, we have a Speech test due tomorrow. I don't feel like a million bucks anymore. Mrs. Flara is my favorite teacher by far, but why would she give such a consistent flow of hard work? I heard that Theater had significantly less amounts of homework, but you never know. I'm betting it'll be worth it in the end.
   With Sweet Sweet <3 Magic,
        Jonathan

      Sorry for the drought everyone. I was grounded from the computer for printing out an image of a rad sign of a city in Austria with a very unbecoming name. One week grounded and one life lesson later, and I'm back on the computer. Be sure to check out the Request Gallery for an awesome new picture. I'll try and get the source picture if my sister lets me borrow her digital camera. She uses my scanner quite often, so I don't see why I shouldn't be able to use her camera. Girls are so lucky to have guys around, so at least they don't destroy themselves from their own durn logic.

      Well, my freewebs thing isn't working (again). I need to see what's going on. Did I need to give it more money? Nah, we did that in August for crying out loud. I can't download or upload any files whatsoever. Strange, isn't it?
      This was also the very last day of the Athens Olympics, and I missed the Tae Kwon Do event! I really wanted to see it! I always thought that it was the coolest (besides trampoline, which I also missed). I still remember when they had the Olympics in Athens, and I said, "Man, this was way cooler than Georgia!" But this year I actually found myself saying, "Man, this year was way cooler than Athens!" It was one of the best events yet. How lucky I was that I got to witness it all from the comfort of my house. But before I die, I really would like to see it in person.
      -that's 22 italicized words.

      "Dear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't written in you for so long, but guess what happened? My cat drank toilet water! Out of the toilet!"
      I kid, I kid. that's from Amy's diary, a high quality flash cartoon. But my day of school went great. I have a totally awesome schedule, and I have good, new teachers. And the old crappy ones don't have me! And vice versa!
      you know what? I thought Heri*age was circling the drain, but when I look at my day today, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

      Well, I finally got those galleries up an moving again. Now they work, and now stuff will be drawn (please note the artwork button in the navigation bar). I hope that many a big thing in it will follow.

                   Your Friend,
                           Jonathan

P.S: We lost another soccer game! Wahay!

      Well, that sexy new template is finally here. I had some other ones I liked, so don't be surprised if I switch them later. I have taken a liking to this one, though. the galleries are being worked on today, so bear with me. It will be worth it when it's over.
      Also, it's Ryan Croston's birthday tomorrow! Happy early birthday, Ryan!

      Okay, better get this out of the way first-
      Soccer wa not that good yesterday, but that's okay, because it was expected. Albeit I practically lost the function in my left nut because someone (on the other team, of course) kicked the ball at me there from 1 yard away. It's okay. I'm feeling a little bit better. I just hope my future children won't be born scramble'd and mis-shapen.
      I will be revamping teh gallery set up here, and now freewebs has a bunch of über-cool looking templates for premium users (like me). So I'll look into getting one soon.
      this is Jonathan reporting from "Spaaaace Channel 5!"

      For once in a long time, I listened too my mom, and it payed off instantly. I had to clean up this huge stack of papers next to my bed, and get it all organized into my book/media shelf. And not only did I manage to order and  clean the paper stack, I also had time to sort the content that would appear on this website. I guess my mom was really onto something there. It all makes so much sense now!
      I also found my Bible Justice® puppets from Hollowrock. I had King Daniel, Josh had Space Moses (Moses with a half of a top of a Propel Fitness Water Bottle on his head) and Marshall had Noah. And they're pretty sweet- only 2 bucks a pop. You can't beat that. Look for a picture of my Bible Justice® puppet in the Hollowrock gallery. w00t.
      Oh, I also found a drawing I did in 4th grade, and apparently I had it going on back then. It's called "Death Among Us" and it's in the Family Fun Gallery.
      Have a fun.

Type your body here. (Don't mind if I do.)
      The time slot in which I last spent with my dad was very exciting. It started with us seeing a soccer match between Roma (Rome, you idiots) and Chelsea (England, you idiots). Anyway, there I learned alot of important situations you need to cope with:
      There was a guy that could best be described as a drunk, college-aged Harry Potter that looked as to be (to quote my sister) "thrown into a meat grinder":

Now, to achieve the same experience I had at Heinz Feild, follow these easy steps:

1. Print out the above picture.
2. Using your own hands, make it appear that the picture was presenting the "double deuce".
3. Have it scream "GØod JºB!" whenever a call is made against Roma, or a supporting condition for Chelsea has been achieved.
   
4. Have it scream "w07 t3h ƒ***?!!11!!!1" whenver a call is made against Chelsea, a supporting condition for Roma has been achieved, when you run out of beer, or just whenever.
5. For optimum realism, do all of this while pouring lemon juice on a paper cut in your eye.

Good. You're halfway there.
      Next, imagine a guy who seems to have the mind of a second grader. He has two sons, so he is a very family oriented person. He also is missing the part in his brain that most everyone else has that prevents one from describing EVERY SINGLE OBVIOUS DETAIL that passes in front of their eyes. I am not exaggerating when I describe this man to you. When there was a corner kick he would be quick to say "Look, the man is taking a corner kick." Whenever a goal was scored, he would say "They have just scored a goal!"
      I could undertand if, when I turned around, I would've seen him wearing what would've looked like a backwards catchers mask. That would've been good enough for me. But no, he was free to talk and move about in public. And whenever he made a bright observation, he would say it as if everyone around him was blind, stupid, and didn't speak English.

      I am the most patient person since Mother Teresa.

      Don't believe me? Reinact any one of these personalities to someone for a straight 90 minutes, and see if they do better than I did.

I got back from Hollow Rock with so much fun that I can't stand it. I bought a King David hand puppet, but to spice things up I call him BIBLE JUSTICE HAND PUPPET! I met some guy at HR named Josh. He has girly hair, and wears shirts with names on them that aren't his. He also has a strange last name (supposedly it's Czeck: Puhala).

    Yattah. I'm going to Cedar Point with my church today, and boy, am I 3v@r stoked. What surprises wil be instore for me this blessed morn? Tune in later to find out!
      Grood-bye,
           Jonathan
P.S: Mom, are you planning on giving me the site money this week?

      Sorry for the long break, for the entire 12 people that looked at my website in the last 8 or so days. I've been a-wassling at my fathers house. My taking of a break has not gone unpunished. Wait a minute, yes it has…
I finally have money to fund extra space on ma cuh-rappy freewebs site! Good for me! It was actually funded by my mom. (I know. I can't belive it either.) Now all I have to do is get her to get an eBay account…
Nah. I've already pressed my luck.

Now, unless you're a late night, eager McBeaver, lets assume that today is Monday, June 28th. You should send me birthday mail. My birthday is in two days. One might even go as far as to say that my birthday is the 30th. Since I care, I have already devised a list of presents for the peoples to give me:
Mich*el B*yle: You can give me a Megaman sprite comic that someone who's never played a Megaman game will understand.
C*ry B*yle: You can get me your blue-green polo shirt that I happen to fancy.
Whoever You Are From Per*y Sc*ool D*strict that felt it neccessary to get me in great amounts of trouble for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING: You, you can get me a six pack of IBC Root Beer. God knows I deserve it.
All*son: You can get me Apples to Apples and-
OH NO! it's 11: 07! I'll miss adult swim!
Sorry, I gotta go.
blablab Jonathasbn

    I love the taste of procrastination in the morning. I also love it in the evening. In fact, I don't think there evar is a time when I don't fancy procrastination. After all, it gives you something to look forward to. Some parents don't like procrastination. My  parents don't like procrastination. Parents, in general, don't like procrastination.
    But I have grood news: Cory (the person on the front page who is not me or "Max the Moose") has been a-tinkerin' with das HTML to produce many a big thing in our plans for "The Incompitents", our (collective: Jarrod, Cory, Me, David) idea for a bizzi-  …I mean awesome comic, focusing more on our deliberately disfunctional teenage years. Too bad Jarrod is a lazy SOB (s.on o.f b.un) and takes some 4 months for 1 comic. Oh, but when that comic comes, what a sweet, sweet day it will be.
      Request Gallery Ideas!
                 With Love,
                          Jonathan.
Post Script: Today, outside of the local mall's Cinnabon, I found Mrs. Flara! A Her*tage Chr*stian Sch*ol teacher so cool she wouldn't mind having her name in my website! We relate together so well by one word alone: synical.

I've been bizshy walking arurnd in the mud at the Alive Feshtival. Itsh reary furn. I meeting lotsh of nerw peopie.
Whart's betteyar is Ir've firarnally fourn myr nirtch.I have to go bye lol! :D

    Well, I'm really excited about today, for I have a bevy of pictures introduced, plus the start of my very own, brand-and-bum-spanking-new gallery: The Family Foto Folder! So Much Fun! So Many F's! How can it be bad?! Well, the answer is- it can't
    I'll have up a new pic on my homepage almost every day, concerning my early childhood and much more. Exploit me as you see me being placed in Christmas wreaths, playing with cups, and ruining my dog! Can a brother get a "w00t!"?

    Ah, I love getting up late. It's so nice knowing that the next day oyu don't have school. After a few days or so, your mind starts tinkering with the possibility of never returning to school again. I just hope the summer goes by slower than the school year did... am I a junior already?
    Neverheless, I have a new FFCC pic, a prompt to go to the request gallery, and an addiction to Stepmania.
It's very fun, and very free. I like scanning my drawings into the backgrounds of the songs.
    And please, please, PLEASE email me suggestions for the request gallery. PLEASE!
                                          

    Ah, what a beautiful day it is. I'm out of school (well I was on the 5th...) but what better way to celebrate my freedom than to make fun of detention? Well, I figure it should be "something wholesome and family friendly" but (as only my closetst of "BFFs" know) I don't deliver that way. Here is a warning for you that should probably be on the front of the page:
    WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL ON THIS WEBSITE INCLUDES CONTENT THAT IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY, SATAN WORSHIPING, OR BABY EATING, AND THEREFORE IF YOU ARE UNDER 6 YEARS OF AGE, OR FIND SUCH CONTENT TO BE INAPPROPRIATE YOU SHOULD LEAVE IMMEADIATELY. HERE IS A WEBSITE MORE SUITED TO YOUR TASTES, I BET.
    WARNING: SUGGESTED LINK MAY CONTAIN OR HINT AT THE CONCEPT OF EVOLUTION. IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING A LACK OF NOT BEING STUPID OR DANGEROUSLY HIGH AMOUNTS OF AMISH, EXIT THE WEBSITE AND LINK IMMEADIATELY. WE WILL BE WAITING FOR SO THAT WE MAY HIT YOU WITH A BAT.
    By the way: It's my stepdad's birthday. Happy birthday M*rk!

      Well, as some of you may know, I've been grounded for three weeks for absolutely nothing. But that doesn't matter, because everybody forgets the hate idiocy causes when it's over. Of course, history is bound repeat itself. Oh, and I found a solution to the space problem stated in the below news entry- I had to delete the entire Her*tage Gallery for no reason! Now I have plenty of space! But in the future, here are some tips that will keep your website from getting deleted (in my house or school district anyway...)

1. Never tell anybody about your website at all. That includes yourself.
   
2. Don't make any friends- trust nobody.
3. Never include any jokes that hint at sarcasm pointing to yourself. "Some people who don't know you will think you're serious!"
4. Never include the phrase "bite me" in any way, even if subliminal Disney style. This obviously means "bite my penis", and there is no room for such vulgarity on the internet.
5. Never include anybody's picture on the internet without their permission. Strict regulations concocted by the greatest law enforcing pixies and imaginary creatures keep this law a staple on any website. So if you ever have a picture of a music concert with an attending crowd, be sure to track down and get the permission of every single person in that crowd. You will be officially damned if you don't.
6. Though "damned" is in the Bible, you should probably never say damned, even if it isn't used maliciously. Don't even think of typing something even worse, like the name "Stalin".
   
7. Nevar include anybody's name in your website. Did you know you can track anybody on Earth with only their last name? Me neither. Don't make the same mistake I did.
8. Last, but not least, Have all bags of Skittles on your website clearly marked as being Skittles bags. Since bags of Skittles candy share a remarkable resemblance to body bags, avoid the threat and confusion before it happens.

      Man, I'm out of file space. I think the time has come to move to batcave.net ... Yeah,
I can't really hide it anymore. The time for change is now. So, I deleted the obnoxiously large "Make Me Pretty" comics (like anyone cares...)
      On a lighter note, the new homepage picture is quite spiffy, if I do say so myself. AND I'm finally getting used to my cast. Turns out it doesn't hurt when I type if I hold my arm over my head. Who'da known?
      Request Gallery isn't going to happen if this proceeds, but you should still probably email me with your suggestions- I sacrifice for the good of the whole. Just go back to your computer and continue bookmarking your American Idol fan-pages, you sick being, you.
            With Love,
                  Jonathan

      I am typing this with one hand right now because my (left) wrist is broken, due to a football mishap. I guess that's what happens when you give in to football. It's not awesome, like soccer, but it isn't all that bad. And after I convinced my sister that my wrist was really broken she took me to the hospital. Ouch, it still aches- I cracked both bones in my forearm straight through, so I'm getting my cast this afternoon.
      Send me your condolances/ ideas for the NEW REQUEST GALLERY to me
whenever you have the time.
     
      ...Ouuuuuuuch...

      OH BOY. What did you learn during Easter Break? I learned that freeweb accounts can only have 50 files in them, which is absurdly small (but free...). I'll either delete my MIDIs and squeeze this bad mother for all she's worth, or I'll just buy the premium service. And don't look for the PayPal button, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST. See how I try not to annoy people? Well anyway, without money, this is going to go nowhere soon.
      Oh, I almost forgot- I beef'd up the makemepretty.gif's so check them out now that you can finally read them. And the random gallery contains more scrumptious pics for you to nibble on, like a starving man wandering upon a buttery Ritz cracker in the middle of a desert.
      Remember to ask for info and updates via mr_saturn_@hotmail.com .
     

©2004 Jonathan Duncan. All other characters property of their respective owners; and yes Virginia, all rights ARE reserved.