These are stories from people who wanted to share and encourage others that life with depression does not always equate a dead end. We admire their courage and thank them for sharing their experiences.

         My name is Lauren. I’m 12 right now, and I’m going to be 13 on July 18th.  This was written on the date of June 17, 2004. This is my story so far about depression:

 

         I believe I have been “depressed” my whole life. I threw fits sometimes for no reason and I would have trouble falling asleep. I would be super angry, or super sad. It didn’t help me that I’m naturally moody. Sometimes I couldn’t see the point in living. I often wanted to be alone, especially the past few years.
         About two to two and a half years ago, my depression grew worse. I was constantly throwing fits and I was almost always mad at my mom. I would say I hated her and my family. One time I even started sitting against my bedroom door and would bang my head on it screaming at the top of my lungs, “I hate EVERYTHING!” It was out of control.
         Then one night when I was crying a lot, about a year ago, my mom asked me, “You know you can see someone about this, about how you’re feeling, don’t you?” And I nodded my head and said quietly, “Ya, I do.” So I went back into my room and went to bed. I couldn’t sleep and started crying again. After about ten to twenty minutes of crying, I ran back out to my mom and said, “I wanna see someone Mommy, I wanna see someone!” (I call my mother Mommy, since that is what is most comfortable to me.)
          So then I started seeing a psychologist by the name of Pam Christy. She’s very nice and she helped me “control my feelings”. I also went to a psychiatrist for anti-depression medicines. I went on Zoloft, and it helped calm me at night to fall asleep. I didn’t totally like my psychiatrist, and I wanted to stop seeing him. So eventually when I said I was getting better and I didn’t need Zoloft anymore, I stopped going to see him.
          I was pretty fine for awhile. Recently Dr. Christy has been asking me about my friends, and how I should expand for more friends. But dangit I don’t want to! So I don’t like it when she talks to me about that, because I’ve heard it so many times from teachers and such and I know I won’t do it, so it just gets on my nerves.
         About 2 weeks ago, when I got out of school and started my summer break, I of course stopped exercising mainly since I didn’t have gym class. I was in Boston the first five days of my summer break, then about five days after that we left for Iowa to see my dad’s family. So I had no gym class, and then my horseback riding lessons were cut short (I go on Mondays and Fridays) and then Joe, the man that helped my riding instructor with everything during the day, quit! And they had a humongous show when he quit! So then I didn’t have riding lessons the week of the show. So with barely any exercise, how am I going to sleep? I couldn’t!
           But then I went to the YMCA and started back on their exercise machines again since I had stopped coming for almost a year. And my horseback riding lessons have started up again. But I still can’t sleep! I think I might have to go back on Zoloft, although I’m not sure I want to. Right now I won’t have another Dr. Christy lesson until school starts again in August.
           This is all I have to tell on my story of depression. You can watch my  life go by on my Xanga site (like a journal) at http://www.xanga.com/seabiscuit4win/ .