Scripts..

I have all of Season 4 and alot of others.. if you want one you dont see here Email me and if i have it ill give it to you. Thanks

Going Down the Road Pt 2

-At Degrassi, Spike is doing Caitlin’s hair for the movie-

Spike: So your big screen début huh? Are you nervous? You seem a little nervous.

Caitlin: It’s normal when you’re planning a wedding right??

Spike: What?!

Caitlin: I asked Joey to marry me and he said yes.

Spike: Congratulations! That is so amazing!! *They hug*

Kevin: Alright folks time to shoot. Shoot. Woah! This is why I came up here to shoot. Speaking of which, chance to catch Canadian chicks embracing like that.

Spike: Even if the chicks are already spoken for?

Kevin: Christine you may be spoken for, this one though…

Spike: Asked Joey to marry her. I’ve got to call Emma. Excuse me.

Kevin: Seriously?

Caitlin: Yeah.

Kevin: Um wow. I must be the worst kisser in the world cause-

Caitlin: No Kevin! No!

Kevin: Uh you know what I’m sorry I’ve got to set the first shot for the day so I’ll just, I’ll meet you out there. Hey uh Mewes!!


-In the cafeteria, Spinner sees scrambled eggs on the stove-

Spinner: Jay? Hey I’m not getting freaked out by this lame hide and seek game! I’m gonna eat your breakfast man. Hey!

*He sees someone in a hood walking and jumps on him*

Craig: My arm. Ow.

Spinner: Craig?

Craig: Spinner get off me.

Spinner: Dude what are doing here? I thought you were in England.

Craig: After the song’s done for Kevin Smith’s movie. He’s kind of bending the rules a little bit, he’s letting me hang here. Oh my eggs are done. Oh nobody knows, okay?

Spinner: Lips are uh stealed. Um dude I just want to say about Ash and the whole band thing-

Craig: Oh Spin it’s in the past. It’s like, it’s water under the bridge.

Spinner: Okay. Um she was a good contribution though. I mean she knew her stuff.

Craig: No. She was a virus. She gets her way inside. Everything’s okay for a bit then bam! She rips it all apart. I’m gonna be in the boiler room. I got work to do, but uh lips sealed my friend right?


-In the science lab, filming-

Jay: *In character* You are the ones who are the filthy potty mouths. These guys keep talking about their periodic table!!

Ellie: *In character* Mrs. Hoffman! He went into my purse, stole my tampons and did, did this!

*Kevin turns around with tampons in his nose*

Kevin: Uh Mrs. Joey that’d be your line hun.

Caitlin: Sorry! Brain-dead over here.

Kevin: I would not disagree with you. Cut! We’ll be going again kids.

Ellie: Um can you take your hand off my knee?

Jay: What? What oh? What was that doing there? Naughty. Naughty you!


-In the boiler room, Craig is trying to -

Craig: *singing* Never be a single place. There’ll never be a single place. I can see your face, but I know from…I know from fate.


-In the science lab, filming-

Slate girl: Take 35.

Caitlin: *In character* Have you heard about the old fashioned Cajun, Canad-

Kevin: Wrong! Cut.

Slate girl: Take 36.

Caitlin: *In character* Have you heard about the good old fashioned Canadian strap Jason?

Kevin: Okay cut. It’s not Jason. That’s his name in real life. It’s Jay in the movie. It’s three lines. Can you get through three lines?

Caitlin: I know my lines Kevin! I’m just, after 36 takes I’m a little bit flustered.

Kevin: You know what? I’m a little bit flustered and I would almost rather have anyone else in this room do the part except you. As a matter of fact, hey uh slate girl why don’t you jump in there and do the part.

Slate girl: Do I get paid?

Jay: Even better than that. You swing by my trailer, we’ll do a little open mouth kissing.

Slate girl: Uh no!

Kevin: Don’t listen to this fool. It’s real easy. Just jump behind there. Start acting like you’re not up in your head thinking about wedding gowns.

*Caitlin starts to leave*

Kevin: Where are you going?

Caitlin: Maybe you should start acting like a director and not some jealous boyfriend!!

Kevin: Yeah well maybe you should try acting like an actress instead of whatever it is that TV that…she’s gone.

Slate girl: *In character* Well Jay that doesn’t cut it for me or any other woman at this school, so from this point on I want you to just stop-

Craig: Kevin? Is Kevin here?

Kevin: Cut!!

Craig: Okay the problem I was having I was writing a love song. It should be like a, like a breakup, like leaving high school is breaking up with your teen years What do you think?

Kevin: I think you got to do what you got to do. Craig what are you doing here?

*Craig rushes out of the room*

Spinner: Um Mr. Smith?

Kevin: Yeah. Oh my god who are you now?

Spinner: I’m, I’m Spinner. I’m a friend of Craig’s.

Kevin: Well Spinner, friend of Craig’s, what is Craig doing here instead of being in England where he’s supposed to be?

Spinner: He’s staying here on set. He’s sleeping here. He told me you knew that.

Kevin: I knew that? Spinner the only thing I know is that making a movie with a bunch of high school kids, way worse than making a movie with Ben Affleck. Way worse. Take one of these.

*Kevin takes some fruit from Spinner, and Spinner dials a number on his cell phone*


-In the boiler room, Joey and Spinner walk in-

Craig: Oh Kevin! Great, great, great!! Come on in! I’m still working on the lyrics! Let me just play what I-

*He sees Joey and Spinner*


-At Craig’s house-

Caitlin: *On the phone* I think you know what you can do with Tessa Campanelli’s address Nick. Oh uh that’s Joey coming in the door. Yup! Okay. Bye. Uh invite list is shaping up.

Joey: Remind me. Did I or did I not tell you that sending Craig off to England was a bad idea Caitlin?

Caitlin: Woah. Don’t make it my fault!

Joey: Oh no? It was your idea. You supported it and now he and Ashley broke up and you know what, he’s been living in the Degrassi boiler room.

Angela: Okay, we’re going upstairs.

Caitlin: Aren’t you at all curious as to why he lied? Felt he couldn’t trust you?

Joey: Trust me? I’m the only one he can trust.

Caitlin: Joey you fly off the handle!!

Joey: And you don’t think! You never have! Like up and, and quitting your job! Why?

Caitlin: Oh okay thanks for mixing up the fight Joey!! And as for Craig, Kevin and I saw what you couldn’t! His heart was breaking.

Joey: Well you know what? I am more concerned about his mind right now because it is a hell of a lot more fragile. And look if you want to consider yourself a part of this family-

Caitlin: Don’t pull the family card because if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even have a roof over your head!


-At Kevin’s trailer, Caitlin is crying-

Caitlin: You were right and you’re the only person I want to talk to.

Kevin: Come in.


-In the streets, Craig sees a bum trying to make money by playing drums-

Skinny: Hey not a free show.

*Craig pulls out his guitar*

Skinny: Uh I meant that as a donation. Not a duet.

Craig: Alright.

*They start playing together and people drop in some money.

Skinny: Beggars can’t be choosers huh. Skinny.

Craig: Craig.

Skinny: Craig I’ll tell you what, you play another hour and uh I’ll split what we rake in 50/50.

Craig: Throw in a place to crash and it’s a deal.

Skinny: Done.


-In the gymnasium, they’re filming a dance-

Caitlin: Is it Kevin now or Silent Bob?

Kevin: What brings you back to my setup Ms. Ryan?

Caitlin: Uh I just wanted to thank you for the pep talk last night and um being a friend.

Kevin: I am a friend. For now. The next time you show up in my room, 2 in the morning I’m getting to second base at least. Maybe third. Deal?

Caitlin: Deal.

Manny: *In character* Jay if you really love me than you’re gonna have to wait until I’m 18.

Jay: *In character* I’d wait forever my love. What grade are you in?

Manny: *In character* I’m a freshman.

Jay: *In character* Freshman?! Yo is there any seniors up in this piece?

*Kevin puts out his hand asking Caitlin for a dance*

Kevin: Come on.

Caitlin: Shouldn’t you be directing?

Kevin: Like I ever direct.

Caitlin: What kind of movie is this anyway?

Kevin: It’s my movie alright and in my movie Kevin Smith gets to dance with Caitlin Ryan.

*A couple ninjas jump out from the stage and Manny screams*

Jay: *In character* Oh snap. Canadian ninjas lunchbox!! Hip hip! Snoogin(?)!!

*Jay and Silent Bob start fighting the ninjas and Joey walks into the scene*

Jay: *In character* Oh sir look!

Joey: Hey hey! Sorry. I’m looking for Caitlin.

Kevin: Cut!!

Caitlin: Listen I know I should have called, but by the time I woke up Spike to let me come in and crash-

Joey: Just forget about that okay?! I can’t find Craig anywhere. I think he’s run away again.

Caitlin: What?

Joey: Look I called his friends, I called the police. I even called Ashley in London. Okay they haven’t seen him. He’s just disappeared. He even stopped taking his medication.

Caitlin: Okay we’ll find him, alright? You and me. Come on.


-In the streets-

Skinny: Three dollars and 82 cents. You know what that gets us?

Craig: These are hard times and I think with the weather and I don’t know, maybe the economy and all-

Skinny: Hey.

Craig: You want to ask him for money?

Skinny: Why ask when I could take his wallet.

Craig: Woah. We can’t just rob somebody.

Skinny: You know how much his car is worth and we can’t even afford dinner.

Craig: Wait. Skinny stop.

*Skinny punches Craig*

Craig: What was that for?!

*Craig hits him back, Skinny starts beating up Craig, then picks up his guitar*

Craig: No not my guitar! No, no, not my guitar! Please!

Skinny: Looks more like breakfast, lunch, dinner and a lot of meals after that.

Craig: No not my guitar! No! No please not my guitar!

*Joey is shown handing a picture to the police*


-At Craig’s house, Caitlin and Angie are working on missing person posters-

Caitlin: That’s perfect Angie.

*There’s a knock at the door*

Caitlin: Hey.

Kevin: Hey. Hope this isn’t being too intrusive.

Caitlin: No.

Kevin: I just had a few hours till call tonight and I felt like maybe I should stop by and see if you guys heard anything.

Angela: Craig still isn’t home.

Caitlin: We’re dying over here. Just wish we could talk to him you know? Two minutes, anything.

Kevin: Well do you think maybe a public appeal made by a Z-Grade celebrity might help in any way? It’s worth a shot right?


-At a soup kitchen, Craig is eating soup-

Craig: This is fine. This is just like home, just like my mom made. This is fine. This is fine.

Kevin: *On the TV* We need your help finding uh this teenager. His name is Craig Manning, he’s 16 years old, he goes to Degrassi Community School and he’s been missing since yesterday. This is his dad Joey.

Craig: I know that guy! It’s Kevin! Hey!

Joey: *On the TV* Craig. We all love you. Just want you back okay? Just please come home to us.

Craig: It’s Kevin Smith. I’m writing a song for his movie. It’s Kevin Smith. I’m writing a song for his movie. Here listen. *Singing* There’ll never be a single place where I feel safe, where I can escape from you! Huh do you like it? I wrote it. Yeah.

*There’s a guy at the soup kitchen that looks at the picture on the TV and recognizes Craig in front of him*

Joey: *On the TV* If anyone knows him please call 1-555-MISSING.


-Outside the school-

Kevin: So thanks for dropping me off. It was really cool of you. Sure you don’t want to hang out tonight? We’re shooting the big football game scene where Jay saves Apollonia from the soul-sucking cheerleaders of Kingsburg.

Caitlin: I should really be there for when Joey brings Craig back.

Kevin: Yeah. Joey.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Kevin: For what?

Caitlin: Everything.

Kevin: I’m sorry I have to try this again. *Goes in to kiss her*

JT: Mr. Smith?

Kevin: James Tiberius!

JT: A testy first AD wants you on set. As in immediately.

Kevin: Tell him I’ll be there in a couple. Go. Adults are talking now. That uh AD is kind of a man-eater so I’m gonna head off. Hey. Just don’t settle alright? You know for somebody else’s idea of what the real world is. You’re just far too cool a chick for that. Pick your own real world. You deserve that much.


-At the soup kitchen-

Craig: Guitar. My guitar. He took my guitar when I said!! When he knew that it was mine! *He sees Joey* Joey! Joey. Joey can help me get my guitar back can’t you Joey? Listen he stole it. My friend. No. Not my friend! Does Caitlin hate me?

Joey: Why would Caitlin hate you?!

Craig: Because I make you fight. And I run away and I, I always hurt you. Like my dad hurt me. You know my dad used to hit me? Oh but you just think I’m crazy. Everyone just thinks I’m crazy!

Joey: No I don’t think you’re crazy! You’re ill okay Craig? It’s the bipolar acting up.

Craig: You blame everything on me being crazy!!

Joey: I won’t. I won’t, I promise you. Never again okay? Just can we get you home. Craig please.

Craig: Joey. My guitar. What did I do with my guitar? Just help me find it please.


-At Craig’s house-

Joey: He’s asleep. I got him to agree to go to the police first thing and give a description of this Skinny. Who calls themselves that anyways?

Caitlin: Who calls themselves Snake or Wheels?

Joey: I just hope this guy’s neck is skinny enough for me to break.

Caitlin: He might be mentally ill too Joey! Remember that. I mean maybe he’s another lost Craig.

Joey: Oh come on! You don’t see Craig beating up strangers in the street do ya?

Caitlin: No he just beats you up at home!

Joey: Just…forget it.

Caitlin: What are we doing Joey?

Joey: Fighting. Like usual.

Caitlin: All we ever do is fight. I mean Craig’s upstairs safe and sound. How can we get married? Really. I mean I love you and Craig and Angela so much, but this it’s just…

Joey: It’s not what it should be. So are you gonna take that job offer in LA?

Caitlin: Thinking about it yeah.


-In the auditorium, filming the scene where Jay and Silent Bob

Jay: *In character* Yo Edmond Fitzgerald Secondary me and Lunchbox would to thank yous Canadians for treating us like one of yous guys. You all talk stupid but you have great beer.

Kevin: *In character* Let me just add because…heavens. But beat your blizzards or your bonome (?) de neige or your courier du bois!!

Jay: *In character* What kind of baby talk is that? That was just-

*Kevin hits Jay in the crotch and he falls over*

Jay: Dude!!

Kevin: *In character* You made me and my fawn hetero-life mate feel like a big part of your home and native land and seriously made this the best bleepin’ year of our lives. Woo!!

*Everyone throws off their graduation caps*

Kevin: Cut! Degrassi that’s a wrap!!

*Everyone starts cheering*

Kevin: *He hugs Ellie and Toby* Kids! Don’t ever work again! Thank you. Thank you for all your help

Kevin: *Hugs Manny* You! You were heaven on earth love, now get out of my way.

Jay: Sir why do you always have to get the last line in?

Kevin: Why does it bother you so much is my question.

Jay: Cause you’re always trying to upstage me! Oh look at me I’m Silent Bob!

Kevin: Oh look at this! *He hits him in the crotch again*

Jay: Dude! I took the cup off!

Kevin: And I knew that. Mr. Manning.

Craig: Kevin.

Kevin: Well remembered sir. Oh hello.

Caitlin: Congratulations.

Kevin: Thank you Ms. Ryan.

Caitlin: And now congratulate me.

Kevin: Why would I be doing that exactly?

Caitlin: Cause I said yes to the LA offer.

Kevin: No!

Caitlin: Ryan’s Planet will spin once again because of you.

Kevin: Come here.

*They hug while Joey sees them and leaves the room*

Craig: Joey where are you going? The party’s just getting started.

Joey: Home. Sorry Caitlin’s home.

Craig: We’re supposed to talk remember? It goes both ways.

Joey: *crying* I don’t want her to go.

*Craig hugs him*

Craig: I know. I know. But I’m here and Angie’s here and we’re not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.

Joey: Okay.


-Back in the auditorium-

Kevin: Folks I would like to raise a very simple toast. To Degrassi!

*Everyone is cheering and Joey and Caitlin raise a sad toast to each other*

Going Down The Road Pt 1

420- West End Girls

-In the gymnasium, the cheerleaders are performing their routine for Ms. Hatzilakos-

Paige: All right come on guys! Get to spots!!

*Paige screws up while they’re performing*

Paige: Oopsie daisy!

Ms. Hatzilakos: Wow! When everyone gets a load of that at the year end party we’re gonna have to force them to take a summer vacation.

Darcy: Manny’s choreography’s more fun than going to the beach.

Paige: Okay as captain of the squad I’d like to say that I adore you guys and I want to thank all of you for your spectacular hard work!

Ms. Hatzilakos: Well the school appreciates it Paige. Thank you so much!

Manny: For being a big, fat useless pile of nothing.

*The girls start laughing*

Paige: Did you want to say something Manny?

Manny: Gosh no Paige. It’s all you.


-At Manny’s locker -

Manny: If I peed in the foyer Paige would claim she gave me the water.

Emma: There wouldn’t be much credit there.

Toby: If you were my prom date, I wouldn’t let her take any credit, not from me.

Emma: There really wouldn’t be!

Toby: Shut up Emma.

Manny: I’ve been knocking myself out. Paige comes to one practice in three months and acts like she owns it.

Toby: Uh did you hear the part where I asked you to the prom?

Manny: Toby you’re a sweet, sweet guy, but-

Marco: But Manny’s going with me. Sorry, but as the newly single head of the dance committee, I had to scoop up the cutest date I could find!

Toby: How come the gay guys always win?!

Manny: Oh my god, thank you so much.

Marco: You’ll find something chic to wear?

Manny: Of course. Who’s all going?!

Marco: Um us, Jimmy, Hazel and just so you know I think Paige is bringing Matt.


-In the hallway-

Manny: Marco is my dream date, well nearly, but Paige will eat me alive if I go with you guys.

Hazel: That’s because you did get her boyfriend fired from teaching and pull her hair.

Manny: Well maybe Hazel the peacemaker could smooth it over just a teensy bit?

Hazel: We are going shopping tonight at Pretty, Pretty around 7ish and shopping makes Paige emotional.

Manny: Okay…

Hazel: You could run into us, act all submissive. You might get someplace.


-At the TV studio-

Kevin: I don’t know, I think it just felt like it was time to get off the sound stages and kind of go back into the real world, shoot real locations, real people.

Caitlin: And so when do cameras start rolling on Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian Eh?

Kevin: You like that title. The ‘eh’ makes it.

Caitlin: I do!

Kevin: We were supposed to start shooting in a couple weeks but sadly just recently, some of our locations dropped out on us. Or dropped ‘oot’ on us as you say. Um so if anyone out there has a beer factory, or hockey rink, or a doughnut shop, or a strip club Or a school! Particularly a school. Please call us. Call me.

Caitlin: Please join us next week. I’m Caitlin Ryan. That was great everyone! That was great.

Kevin: Thank you. That was really fun.

Caitlin: Thank you. Kevin this is Craig, my uh sort of stepson.

Kevin: Right on. How are you sir?

Craig: Hi. Wow hi.

Kevin: Mr. Manning hi, wow, hi yourself.

Craig: How did you?

Kevin: Little bird.

Caitlin: Craig uh goes to my old school. Maybe you’ve heard of it, Degrassi?

Craig: Well it’s a great looking school. You should check it out. Uh you should check it out on Friday because my girlfriend and I are playing prom.

Kevin: Oh really? What, are you a musician or something?

Caitlin: Fantastic musician.

Kevin: Fantastic, the lady says! That’s good enough for me. Can I borrow your pen?

Caitlin: Of course.

Kevin: I’m looking for a fantastic musician sir. This is my music guy’s number. You give him a shout, tell him I told you to call him. Give me something high school dude. Real high school. Not Weezer approximating high school. Can you give me emo? You can give me real emo?

Craig: I can give you real emo.

Kevin: Right on sir. Excellent. You may have a job.


-At the store-

Hazel: Small is still a bit squeezey.

Paige: It’s better than an extra small. I love it.

*Paige walks out and sees Manny in the same dress*

Manny: Hi. Guess I have great taste. Strapless make you nervous too?

Paige: Is that the extra small?

Manny: Pfft. No. No. Listen Paige, I was really hoping that we could make things better between us.

Paige: Take off the dress.

Manny: Listen I hate, I hate that you hate me. Please is there anything that I can do?

Paige: Out of the dress and my airspace.


-In Craig’s garage-

Craig: Get behind that keyboard.

Ashley: Can we sit for a minute first?

Craig: No sitting, no time.

Ashley: Okay I told you my dad got a transfer to BBC World in London?

Craig: ((Something in a British accent))

Ashley: Well he got me a summer job too! BBC 6 they call it T-Girl which I think means gopher, but-

Craig: You’re not going to London.

Ashley: Look Craig I know. But I promise I’ll IM you everyday and send you tons of obscure Brit pop.

Craig: I’m afraid that we’re gonna be too busy doing music for Kevin Smith’s soundtrack.

Ashley: What?! How?! Oh my god.

Craig: I, I know! We have a meeting with his music guy. How much do you love me now?!

Ashley: Better get behind that keyboard!

Craig: See I told you, you weren’t going. *singing* Silent Boooooob!


-At the food court-

Paige: The only summer job out there is in the Yukon??

Matt: I’m broke Paige. I’m like selling my stuff, eating macaroni broke. And tree planting pays and my parents have cut off my tuition money. It’s $400 a day, free rent. This is looking like the only way out. Be back before you miss me.

Paige: The whole summer is forever.

Marco: Hey I just saw your old boss. The mere site of Meeri took six years off my life!

Matt: I’ll go get us some drinks.

Paige: Diet. Squeezey dress.

Marco: Did I just totally wreck a moment?

Paige: He’s leaving, before the prom and he won’t be back for months.


-In the gymnasium-

Manny: What?!

Marco: I’m so sorry, but Paige needs a date and she’s honestly heartbroken and then I-Maybe Toby’s still free.

Darcy: Manny can you help us for a sec?

Marco: Hey I’ll vote for you for queen. A tiara would really suit you!

Manny: Hair jewelry. Right. That’d fix my totally sucky life for sure.

Darcy: Paige is having trouble with the 1 cupe, 2 grapevine, 3 combo.

Paige: I’m not having trouble with it. I just don’t like it and I don’t see why it can’t just be straight grapevine.

Chante: Because that’s boring.

Paige: Okay I’m the captain. I’m not in the mood for sass and I’m changing the choreography. Is that boring?

Manny: I’ll show you and I’ll take it really, really slow okay?

Paige: I’m missing the mascot. Go get the costume, I’ll take your place.

Manny: You want me to do what?!

Hazel: We’re performing in two hours Paige. We’ve never caught you.

Paige: Well unless Manny, Darcy, Chante and you all want off the squad, Manny’s the mascot. Consider my foot down.


-At Manny’s locker-

Darcy: Don’t throw out Justin!

Manny: Purging. Anything that could possibly remind me of this year must go.

Darcy: I wish we could purge Paige. If anyone deserved to fall off her high horse it’s her. What?!

Manny: Okay…what if-


-In the auditorium-

Ms. Hatzilakos: And so I’d like to declare this school year officially over. *Everyone starts cheering*

Kevin: Offer you a free soda? Swanky school.

Caitlin: Actually we call it pop around these here parts.

Kevin: Ah see this is why I need you around me when we’re shooting the movie so you can translate Canadian. Can you do that for me?

Caitlin: Oh stop.

Kevin: The whole time. Please.

Caitlin: Shush!

Ms. Hatzilakos: To send us toward the summer with smiles on our faces, here’s Degrassi’s spirit squad!!

*The girls start their routine, Paige goes up in a double base and as she’s cradling the girls purposely don’t catch her*

Paige: Ow!! Ow my leg! Ow! Ow.

Caitlin: So that’s the gym.

Paige: Ow! Ow please do something!!


-In the recording

Craig: We write all our own stuff.

Ashley: So we can adjust it if you want!

Music guy: If I want? What I want is Husker Du meets the Meat Puppets with maybe a soup song of Van Halen. That’s what I want.

Craig: Um okay! Is that what we did?!

Music guy: Is that what you did?? This is a buddy/love story okay man!! It’s not the place for whiny girls impersonating Kate Bush, accompanied by Bon Jovi wannabees!

Craig: Hey!!

Music guy: Get out of my office please. Thank you. Get Kevin for me please.

Craig: I guess we’re no Meat Puppets.

Ashley: I guess we suck!


-At the store, Manny is trying on a simple dark dress-

Emma: Don’t look so worried. Paige is fine. So is the dress…

Manny: Fine, fine, fine as in boring! Like mass. Latin with holy hot altar boys out the flute.

Emma: Kind of looks like something the altar boy would wear.

Manny: *picking up the pink dress* This one makes me happy, but Paige-

Emma: She broke her leg yesterday. She’s not going to the semi-formal. And this just happens to be the Manniest dress ever.

Manny: You think?

Emma: After all she put you through I think you deserve it.


-Outside the dance-

JT: The cheese buffet opens at 10.

Manny: Tempting.

Liberty: We came up with that together. We share a love of cheese.

JT: Yes we do. Anyways your ballots for king and queen.

Darcy: I feel terrible! Do you feel terrible? I feel terrible.

Manny: She’ll get over it and so will we.

Darcy: Her leg was twisted like she was a Cirque Du Soleil chick! She isn’t!!

Manny: So we’ll, we’ll vote for her for prom queen okay? And we’ll send the tiara to her house. Now I’m going to ask Toby to dance for extra penance.

Darcy: Okay.

-Outside the school, Paige, Hazel, Marco & Jimmy arriving-

Paige: Ninth grade, my date is orange and I’m sporting a screaming sunburn. Tenth grade our limo driver Jim Boy Jed, the criminal, delivers us in a cop cruiser. Eleventh grade, it gets worse, happed up on painkillers I arrive with a date who doesn’t like girls on the special bus! Hello everyone!! Happy prom! This is so perfectly festive!

Jimmy: Are you finished?

Paige: No! My armpits hurt!

Hazel: More than your armpits will hurt if you don’t shut your pie hole! I wanted this to be special for him and all you can do is whine!

Marco: Um if the tantrums been thrown-

Hazel: One more thing, Manny stepped up and ran the Spirit Squad for you when you were too self-involved! All she wanted was a thank you, but could you give her that?! Oh no!

Paige: She was horrible to me!

Hazel: But can you tell me why you had to be more horrible back? Why you always have to be more horrible?!


-Inside the dance, Manny & Toby are dancing-

Manny: Um maybe, maybe I can get a beverage now?

Toby: Maybe you’ll uh like the next song too.

Manny: Right. Right, right, well, Emma! Emma-

Emma: Hey.

Manny: Said she would die if she didn’t get her hands on you!

*Manny shoves Emma in Toby’s arms*

Emma: No I-

Kevin: Oh my god Ms. Ryan. If I knew you were taking me to the prom, I would have totally gotten you a corsage.

Caitlin: I’m here to help you check the place out. It doesn’t qualify as a date.

Kevin: So weird, my prom date said the exact same thing.


-Outside the dance-

Manny: Oh my god. You’re indestructible. Um I’m really glad you’re here because-

Paige: What are you wearing?!

Liberty: Once the ballot’s filled out it needs to be handed in.

Paige: I cannot believe!

JT: Maybe you two could be the world’s first matching prom queen set, like socks, or mittens or uh bookends.

Manny: We’re not bookends.

Paige: What I was going to say was uh good luck. I really hope you win.


-In the gymnasium-

*Ashley and Craig are performing for everyone*


-In the photocopying room, Paige is photocopying a bunch of ballots and putting Manny’s name on them -

Paige: Can’t wait to you see you center stage Manny Santos.


-Outside the dance-

Craig: We rocked the place out!

Ashley: Did you just say rocked out?

Craig: Hey no lip or I’ll smother you in sweat.

Ashley: I’m gonna miss you so much.

Craig: But, the show went really great!

Ashley: There was a moment up there when I just thought to myself I have nothing left to prove. I’m ready to go to England and try some new things.

Craig: Alright.

Ashley: You know I’ve wanted to go since I was a kid.

Craig: Since you saw Mary Poppins, I know. It’s great, it’s really great.

Ashley: Come on you. Let’s get to the cheese buffet before Heather Sinclair eats all the havarti.

Craig: Um I’ll meet you there.


-Back in the gymnasium-

Marco: Thanks to my charming, but odd, cheese loving committee, to all of you and of course to our sponsor Pantene. Alright right now, for the fateful moment, our king Jimmy Brooks and queen Manny Santos!

*Paige tries to grab the crown from Marco and her crutch smashes his foot*

Marco: Paige what are you doing?!

Paige: Give me the crown. Well deserved Manny!

*Paige leans forward and ‘accidentally’ pulls off Manny’s dress and uses her crutch to push Marco into her so she falls into Kevin’s arms*

Kevin: You alright? We’re gonna definitely be shooting here Ms. Ryan. Go put on a new gown.

*Manny runs out of the gym crying and Paige is shown laughing*


-Outside the gymnasium-

Kevin: Hey I know that kid. Hey kid get off my set!!

Craig: Sorry you working here?

Kevin: No we’re not! It’s okay. Dude I never work and that thing, I don’t even know how it operates. Ever see one of my flicks? It kind of shows.

Craig: Yeah. I like the one where the guys hang outside the 7-11.

Kevin: Yeah that kind of narrows it down a bit. Why aren’t you inside prom-ing it up?

Craig: Your music guy hated us and uh now Ashley’s going to England.

Kevin: Ah what I’m hearing is girl trouble dude. Always comes down to girl trouble. I can feel your pain sir.

Craig: You’ve been through this?

Kevin: Girl trouble? Dealing with a fat guy from New Jersey. Yeah I’ve had girl trouble. Even when I write and direct the movies, I never get the girl. I always wind up with Jay, some cases a monkey. But you know what I found, when my uh heart gets broken, just throw yourself into work man. Go home start writing a song. Go write a song for a movie. Movie directed by fat Star Wars nerd who hangs around high schools during prom, talks to brokenhearted musician types. Dude what part of this don’t you understand?!

Craig: Your music guy said I suck!

Kevin: Ugh dude he’s persona non grata. That dude’s got no credibility whatsoever. The day Creed broke up I found him in a bathroom stall and he was crying. Crying!! Besides, it’s my movie. It’s not his movie. You’re looking at me all incredulous-like. Dude did you not see me ten minutes ago?! I flat out caught the Prom Queen! You know what kind of huge karmic debt that is to pay back? I gotta pay it forward man. I’m gonna pay you.


-In the girls washroom-

Paige: I brought pins. If it were legal I’d offer you painkillers too.

Manny: Where do you get off coming in here?! How can you even talk to me?

Paige: Hi you broke my leg!

Manny: You made me be the mascot.

Paige: You made me look stupid.

Manny: You took credit for my work.

Paige: You got Matt fired!

Manny: You! I don’t remember, but you started it!

Paige: I’ll keep going! You stress me at Spirit Squad! You make me look like full fat spaz!

Manny: Shut up!! You’re just jealous.

Paige: Yeah right.

Manny: Um, don’t drink anything else tonight. The girls went out for laxatives.

Paige: Thanks for the tip. Well at least it’s summer now.

Manny: Yeah summer’s good.

419- Moonlight Desires

-In the gymnasium, people are setting up for a blood drive-

Marco: So for tomorrow Ellie I need you to hand out stickers, okay? Craig I need you to pack the blood bags. And Alex, Alex!!

Alex: This I will not be wearing.

Marco: It’s for TV, Caitlin Ryan’s community show?? Look when people see Degrassi, I want them to think cute and cuddly.

Alex: I'm going to clobber you.

Marco: That's not cuddly. And as a president speaking to his vice-

Alex: Alright. Calm down. Everything has to be perfect.

Ellie: She's right. What you've done for the school this year, ever consider running a second term?

Alex: *dancing around in the mascot head* Four more years! Four more years!

Marco: I can't. I was thinking of picking up a few extra credits this summer. This way, I can graduate after first semester’s done, maybe even move in with Dylan before university. My boyfriend? Alright you guys know I'm gay, right?

Ellie: Um I’m stuck on graduating early.

Craig: I'm on move in with Dylan.

Marco: Guys it’s not that big a deal! Okay it’s huge.


-Outside Degrassi, there’s a sign that says ‘blood drive today’-

Dylan: So you'll call before you come over for the party? Marco? Today’s gonna go fine.

Marco: There's been a bee in this car for the entire ride. Fear is my friend.

Dylan: You know a year ago you would have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

Marco: Yeah well, a year ago I wasn't with you.

*They kiss*

Marco: Go. Back to your dorm. I'll see you tonight at the party.


-In the gymnasium, Spike is giving blood-

Spike: It’s like breastfeeding, only out of your arm.

Emma: I think it’s faster if you’re quiet.

Caitlin: *on camera* So you inherited a school where a student died and another paralyzed.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Not the best situation to assume Principal, I agree.

Caitlin: And yet you've managed to turn it all around.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Oh no. Not me! Marco is the hero here. Organizing the dances, the assemblies, that's where the work has been.

Caitlin: You donated yet Marco?

Marco: Well I’m planning-

*Alex jumps on him in the Panther suit*

Marco: Alex! Stop tackling me!!

Caitlin: Uh cut!

Ms. Hatzilakos: So when is this gonna air?

Caitlin: Eight tonight and I wanna add shots of Marco donating, when you’re recovered.


-At the dot, Spinner is working and Jay is tapping a spoon against a glass-

Spinner: If I'm still serving you ten years from now kill me, all right?

Jay: Well study hard and stay in school. Oh right! You got us expelled.

Spinner: Here you go ladies. Uh Clare will be with you in a moment to take your order.

Old lady: We asked for lemon with our water.

Spinner: Uh, you can't bring a dog in here.

Old lady: I didn't hear complaints. Ladies? We'll have the lunch menu instead.

Spinner: I'm going off shift, so Clare will-

Old lady: And lemon for the water and a bowl for Baby Bear here. So she can have some too, yes!!


-Back in the gymnasium, Marco is about to donate-

Marco: So if I pass out and start drooling, swear you'll stop filming?

Nurse Davis: Mr. Del Rossi? Could you please ask them to stop filming for just a minute?

Caitlin: Uh we're not shooting the whole giving of blood. We’re just gonna shoot a few frames of the President.

Nurse Davis: I'm sorry Ms. Ryan.

Marco: Is there some kind of problem?

Nurse Davis: Uh there's a question here that you answered yes beside.

Marco: It asks, if I'm male and if I've had…with another male.

Nurse Davis: Yes, if you've had sex.

Marco: So?

Nurse Davis: Well it’s policy you have to understand, um but I can't let you be a donor.


-In the principal’s office, Spinner is holding a flower pot-

Ms. Hatzilakos: You shouldn’t be here Gavin.

Spinner: I, I didn't make an appointment. I was afraid you wouldn't see me. I just want you to know this being expelled, I'm not taking it like it’s a vacation. I've been keeping up in my textbooks.

Ms. Hatzilakos: You were supposed to return those.

Spinner: But I need them to write exams.

Ms. Hatzilakos: You don't get to do that.

Spinner: So that’s it? I just lose my whole year?

Ms. Hatzilakos: I’m willing to offer summer school.

Spinner: But that only gives me two credits. That’s not even enough to graduate. I mean that’s a whole year of my life I have to do over. That's not fair!

Ms. Hatzilakos: What’s not fair is that Rick Murray is dead as an indirect result of your bullying.

Spinner: I need to finish my year Ms. H!

Ms. Hatzilakos: No.

*Spinner throws the flower in the garbage and leaves*


-In the gymnasium-

Marco: *On his cell* Dylan? Hey it’s me. Look just please call me, whenever. I’m here.

*He walks over to Ellie, Craig & Alex*

Craig: Why is your blood any more risky than ours?

Ellie: Don't they test everything anyway?

Marco: There's nothing wrong with me. I've only been with Dylan, he’s only been with me. Even then we were totally safe!

Alex: So stop whining. Start complaining. There's your soapbox. Use it!!

Marco: Caitlin! Hey!

Caitlin: Hey.

Marco: How's this for a story? Prejudice and homophobia at local high school.

Caitlin: I’d say we’re on you.

Marco: Nurse Davis? Hey.

Nurse Davis: Yeah?

Marco: Hi.

Nurse Davis: Hi.

Marco: I, I want, look I want to ask why blood management refuses gay people from giving blood.

Nurse Davis: Um, um well it's policy. I'm not a spokesperson so I can't really comment further.

Marco: Fine. *to the camera* My name's Marco del Rossi, Student Council President. Today a student was denied as a blood donor because of his sexuality.

Nurse Davis: That's not the reason.

Marco: Then what is?

Nurse Davis: Well there is, within the gay community, there is an increased risk of HIV infection.

Marco: Saying that is lumping up all gay people as diseased. I listened in health class and anybody with a pulse can get HIV.

Nurse Davis: Yes but-

Ms. Hatzilakos: Marco? Please? *She stops the filming* Thank you. Thank you. Look this blood drive, you should be so proud of yourself for everything you’ve done. Look at all these people.

Marco: My whole point is that I’m supposed to be one of them!


-Outside Degrassi, Jay is trying to steal a bike and kicks it-

Spinner: Hey!!

Jay: You want a kick, too?

Spinner: That's my bike, goof-bag.

Jay: Yeah well it's your fault I'm so bored!

Spinner: So? I'm stuck with you!! Haven't I been punished enough?

Jay: Not yet.

Spinner: Know what...bike stealing? It's kid's stuff. But real stealing from Degrassi...


-At Dylan’s dorm, Marco walks into his room and sees Dylan making out with another guy and bolts-

Dylan: Marco!! Marco wait!

Marco: No.

Dylan: About Eric, I meant to tell you. He's a friend from Psych class.

Marco: There’s other ways, better ways of breaking up Dylan!

Dylan: Who’s breaking up? Honey I’m in university now and there are people here, really interesting people that, that I really like.

Marco: Oh yeah like Eric.

Dylan: I love you and I don't want to stop seeing you. What I’d like to do is open things up a bit. You know see other people.

*Marco shoves Dylan and leaves*


-Outside Degrassi-

Marco: *on his cell* He wants to open things up.

Ellie: *on her cell* He’s a colossal jerk.

Marco: *Sees his friends and closes his phone* It’s so humiliating. First I get rejected as a blood donor, now by Dylan. Maybe the blood people were right.

*Alex smacks Marco on his head*

Marco: What is wrong with you?

Alex: My ex, formerly known as Jay Hogart, screwed around with every girl at this school. It's not a gay thing. Promiscuity, it's a guy thing.

Craig: Hey. Didn't I hear that you clocked Amy for being equally trampy?

Ellie: Oh and how's Ash, Craig? Or are you back with Manny? It's hard to tell, especially when you secretly dated them at the same time.

Craig: Let's just call it a people thing.

Ellie: Let’s call it a choice. Monogamy wow, what a difficult concept.

Marco: I just want my boyfriend back.

Craig: He's got a party tonight right? Well then back is what we’ll get him.


-At night, inside Degrassi-

*Spinner and Jay were hiding in cupboards until the janitor left*


-At Dylan’s dorm-

Craig: Girls and boys? I didn't think Dylan's dorm would be quite so co-ed.

Marco: You see him yet?

Craig: Who?

Marco: Dylan!

Dylan: Hey! I'm really happy you came.

Marco: Yeah? That's good...

Craig: I’m gonna go uh see what they’re stocking for pop. Gentlemen…

Dylan: Come on.


-In Degrassi -

* Jay and Spinner are throwing toilet paper around in the gym, then stacking a bunch of chairs in the hall and just goofing around*


-At the party-

Marco: Craig um look. Everything’s unfolding pretty good so if you don’t want to you don’t have to stay!

Craig: Are you kidding?! It's eight o'clock.

Dylan: What's eight o'clock?

Marco: Oh Caitlin Ryan!! Degrassi! Me at the blood drive. Can I? Thanks. *He turns on the TV*

Caitlin: *On that TV* You inherited a school where a student died, another paralyzed.

Ms. Hatzilakos: *On the TV* Not the best situation to assume Principal, I agree.

Caitlin: *On the TV* And yet you've managed to turn it around.

Ms. Hatzilakos: *On the TV* Oh no. Not me! Marco is the hero here. Organizing the assemblies, the dances, that's where the work has been.

Marco: Ah tell me my head doesn’t look that big.

Craig: Your hair, that's what's big.

Dylan: It looks great. You look great.

Caitlin: *On the TV* And so Degrassi has risen from the ashes of a tumultuous school year thanks to this week's local hero Marco Del Rossi.

Marco: Wait. No wait. Wait for it. I think this is it.

Caitlin: *On the TV* I'm Caitlin Ryan.

Marco: That's it? No there’s more. There’s them not letting me give blood and then I-

Eric: Dylan? We're toasting to summer with kamikazes!

Dylan: Wait a second.

Marco: It’s nothing. Go. Kamikaze. Whatever.

Dylan: I’ll be right back.

Marco: Dylan got me out of the closet last year. Yet here I was, my turn to make him proud. What I should be doing is making him jealous.

Craig: Uh…


-Back at Degrassi, Spinner finds the yearbooks-

Spinner: What do we have here? Degrassi: A year of memories.

Jay: I said something worth something. I always like counting how many times I’m in this thing. The way I see it the less, the better. Oh crap. One. The last thing I want to see is me smiling goofy and hanging off my bestest friend. No. Two. I’m a freak! A failure. Nothing compared to you though, I mean you’re, you’re all through this thing.

*Spinner sees a bunch of pics with him and his friends and throws the book down*

Jay: You alright there, Spinster?

Spinner: Follow me. Grab some more.


-At the party-

Marco: Hi. Hi, I’m Marco.

Mike: Mike.

Marco: Mike! So uh Mike! I was thinking of coming here next year. I was actually thinking about residence. But so far the only room I've seen is Dylan's.

Mike: You want like a tour?

Marco: Yeah, no a tour would be great and maybe I could see your room? You know to compare.

Mike: Okay, um it’s two floors down, 403. Just give me a sec to clean up okay?

Marco: Okay. I'll see you in a bit…Mike.

Mike: Marco…


-At Degrassi, Spinner-

Jay: Yo where'd you disappear?

Spinner: Science lab. I got fluid of the lighter kind.

*He starts pouring the fluid on the yearbooks and pulls out a lighter*

Jay: Seriously it's bonfire night? Look I know math wasn't your strongest subject, but yearbooks plus fire equals the whole school up in flames. Oh yeah and us in jail. Put the toy away, flip-head.

Spinner: You're stopping me?

*Jay smacks the lighter out of his hands*

Jay: Shocking but true.

Spinner: You’re a freak in the same way that I am.

Jay: Yeah well at least I’m not torching the school.

*Jay smacks the lighter away from Spinner and the guys start fighting*

Jay: You want your former friends to suffer?! Huh?? Do you?

Spinner: I want 'em back.

Jay: Listen as your friend substitute, I’m telling you. This isn’t the way. It’s not.

Spinner: I just want ‘em back.

Jay: Come on man we got to clean this up.


-In the stairwell at Dylan’s dorm-

Craig: You know you are a great guy. The most honest, down-to-earth, nicest person that I know. You're a little short, but that just adds to the cuteness. That I would find you to be. If you were a girl or I was not a guy. *points to himself* Is not gay. Just tell me this is helping.

Marco: You’re telling me what I really want to hear. I appreciate it, thanks. If you want to help tell me I’m an idiot.

Craig: You’re an idiot?

Marco: I can’t go downstairs. I can’t stay here. I can’t talk to Dylan. What do I do?!

Dylan: Marco?

*Marco kisses Craig so that Dylan can see*

Dylan: I um, wow.

Craig: So when in doubt you kiss Craig?!

Marco: I gotta settle this with Dylan.

Craig: Yeah you do!! You really, really do!!

*Marco leaves and pulls Dylan out of the party*

Marco: I love you.

Dylan: Likewise, but what was that?

Marco: Dylan a lot of things aren’t making sense right now.

Dylan: So what do you want me to say?

Marco: It made you jealous?

Dylan: It was Craig!

Marco: I don't want you to see other people. I don't like it and I'm not gonna like it and I'm not gonna feel bad that it bugs me.

Dylan: It bugs you?

Marco: It bugs me.

Dylan: It doesn't have to okay? How I feel about you, this changes none of that.

Marco: That's fine and okay. But you see it changes how I, how I feel about me.

Dylan: My freedom. That's important to me right now. I can't give that up.

Marco: Then you and me? I can't. And it's over.

*Marco leaves crying*


-In Ms. Hatzilakos’ office-

Spinner: Ms. H?

Ms. Hatzilakos: Gavin I don't have time to argue.

Spinner: You mentioned summer school.

Ms. Hatzilakos: I offered. You declined.

Spinner: Uh then what if I take it at another school or by correspondence and make the credits up that way? Could I come back next fall? There, there are two things that I want: to finish school and to get my friends back. But someone, someone’s got to give me a chance. Please?

Ms. Hatzilakos: Here are the forms and summer school schedule, aka your chance. Gavin? Don't screw it up.


-At the news station-

Caitlin: Hey Marco!

Marco: Hey! So the blood drive, it was a huge success. Thank you so much for covering it.

Caitlin: My pleasure.

Marco: I just had a question about the scene I started in the gym? Are you gonna air that at a different time or...?

Caitlin: Actually some people here would rather bury that part of it.

Marco: Oh. Okay.

Caitlin: Uh no it's not okay, actually. I'm sick of seeing AIDS being viewed as a solely homosexual disease. I’ve tried to do something about it before. Last year I even went to Africa. One word, educating. You know if you're interested in volunteering, I've got some friends we could talk to.

Marco: Yeah sure! I'm interested.

Caitlin: Interested enough in spending some time in Africa or the Caribbean?

Marco: Yeah! Yeah, of course.

Caitlin: It would mean giving up your entire summer. Any big plans?

Marco: I did...have some. But you know how it is with plans. They change.

418- Modern Love

-In the park-

Paige: I was fixated on your earlobes for most of the class.

Matt: So my Nano computer lesson was dull!

Paige: That my eyes were even open in media immersion is a testament to you. Stop worrying, okay??

Matt: I’m being graded on how well I hold the class tomorrow. It’s scary. You guys are scary.

Paige: Marco’s not scary. Marco’s afraid of bees and Heather Sinclaire, not scary. Unless maybe you see her in her granny panties after gym. There’s also the tiny fact that you’re a phenomenal teacher, so please fear not!

Matt: You’re sweet and not just ‘cause you made lemon squares.

*They’re interrupted by the sounds of an ice cream truck and a crying baby*

Paige: The park. Great romance idea hun!

Matt: Poor kid’s being blinded by the glare of his dad’s legs. Can you say whiter than white?!

Paige: Yeah!! Simpson. Oh my god. He didn’t see us. No way.


-In the gymnasium-

Manny: I totally missed washing my hair to make it in time for this. Paige skips practice…again. Let’s go for with the 3, 4, 3 star ready for a right herky jump. K let’s go!!

Hazel: Just so you know, I am not cool with you taking over.

Manny: Paige won’t care. She’s too wrapped up in Matt to even notice.

Hazel: It’s a crush. No big thing.

Manny: You don’t have to lie. Paige told me about her hot after school affair. Oops. I did it again. *She turns to the rest of the group* Alright guys. Let’s get it together.


-In the media immersion lab-

Matt: Let’s discuss how the cigarette add tries to manipulate us. Anyone? Emma. Let’s hear it.

Emma: Okay well I think it’s aimed at a female demographic and I think the tobacco companies are trying to tell us that healthy women can smoke ‘cause she’s hiking or whatever.

Matt: Good. Now in terms of subtler messaging. Like where is she, where is she going.

Emma: I’m less sure.

Chris: Probably to the ravine!

Matt: That’s enough Mr. Sharpe. What isn’t the add showing us Emma?

Emma: Anything negative. Um lung cancer, emphysema, stroke.

Chris: Gonorrhea.

Matt: Okay, see me after class. We’ll have a lesson on respect.

Mr. Simpson: Thank you Mr. Oleander.

Matt: Okay moving on. What’s the demographic of smokers within the age-


-Later, in the media immersion lab-

Matt: Nanotech is finally winning the respect it deserves as a science.

Hazel: Paige! Paige!

Paige: Shh! Mr. Oleander is teaching.

Hazel: Is Manny your new best friend?

Paige: Okay can we deal with whatever your problem is later? Green-eyed Hazel monster.

Matt: Hazel can I have your attention please?

Hazel: She spilled, about you and Mr. O!

Paige: You do know that you can be secrecy challenged sometimes right?

Hazel: How could you not tell me?!

Matt: Hazel, hi. Didn’t you hear me?

Hazel: Gee Mr. Oleander, I thought you only had eyes for Paige.

Mr. Simpson: Is everything okay?

Matt: Uh yeah I just um, just lost my, I lost my place.

Mr. Simpson: Um, Hollywood is seize on nanotech lately. Um can anyone name a movie about self-replicating machines? Anyone?


-In front of Degrassi-

Darcy: Sheila told me if you put lots of ketchup on your fries the tomato acid burns the carbs right away.

Chante: She’s a cafeteria lady. Ever think she’s trying to get you to buy more fries?

Manny: Em. What’s wrong with your eyes?

Emma: I’m trying to kill Chris with my mind.

Manny: Oh goody. Then you can get Spinner, Jay, Craig, JT, Nate and Sean.

Chante: Here’s me wishing I let my dad talk me into an all-girl school.

Darcy: No joke. Are you alright?

Manny: Honey you can’t let him upset you like that. He’s just one doof!.

Emma: No it’s all the guys. Judging constantly.

Chester: Mmm deep fried starch. *He steals a fry*

Darcy: Is he not the yummiest thing you ever saw?

Manny: Em what are you doing this weekend?

Emma: Nothing.

Manny: How about the girls and I come over and we’ll have the girliest spa weekend ever. Zero testosterone! Hello? Is anyone free to console a sister this weekend?

Chante: Absolutely. We’re there for you. *Her and Darcy both sigh and look at Chester*


-Outside the school-

Paige: I am so, so, so sorry.

Matt: Teenagers are evil. I can’t go back in there and teach two more periods.

Paige: What Hazel did, it was juvenile and hateful and humiliating. I promise you nothing like it will ever happen again ever.

Matt: I don’t want to get booted out of teacher’s college. I can’t!

Paige: You won’t. I won’t let you. *A teacher walks outside and sees the two of them together* Sorry Madame Paget. Uh excuse moi.


-In the hallway-

Manny: Happy weekend Paige. Why thanks Manny and thanks for taking my practice this morning!

Paige: You want me to thank you? For what, dropping a dirty bomb on my life?

Manny: Practice went awesome without you and if you ask some of us, that wasn’t a coincidence.

Paige: You told Hazel, when you swore that you wouldn’t!

Manny: I thought she knew, okay? Chill.

Paige: Don’t use your outdated slang on me. I doubt that your mouth is even connected to your tiny, shriveled, boy obsessed brain.

Manny: I’m the dumb one?! Who still hasn’t figured out not to chase older guys? A guy so out of her league, it’s not funny!!

Paige: That’s big words for a girl who picks up my leftovers.

Manny: Could you be more self obsessed? All you think about is your own butt, which probably does require a lot of thought, given that it’s huge!

*Manny kicks Paige in the butt, Paige slaps her and the two start fighting until Matt and Ms. Hatzilakos break it up*

Matt: Manny calm down!

Manny: Hey Mr. Pedophile!! I mean Oleander. Don’t make your girlfriend Paige even more jealous of me!

Ms. Hatzilakos: Manny, my office Monday! Paige, Mr. Oleander, now! Alright everyone schools out. Go home, show’s over. Now! I said now.


-Outside Ms. Hatzilakos’ office-

Paige: Whole world is gonna hate me if I get him fired.

Marco: You’re in love. What were you supposed to do?

Paige: Abstain from contact with male humans, seeing as how I’m Paige, the Bermuda triangle of love.

Hazel: Hi. I’m Hazel. Just who you want to see.

Paige: Wow she’s not just an evil backstabber, she’s kind of witty too.

Hazel: Paige, I am so sorry. You were right. I am secrecy challenged.

Paige: At least you didn’t call him a pedophile.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Paige.


-In her office-

Ms. Hatzilakos: Well this was a rather upsetting day.

Paige: Manny Santos is a liar okay? She lies.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Nothing ever happened between you and Mr. Oleander?

Paige: That would be wrong. He was tutoring me and that’s all.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson has already left for the day, as has Mr. Oleander’s advisor and frankly I’m less than comfortable discussing this without one of your parents being here.

Paige: Is that totally needed?

Ms. Hatzilakos: We’re all gonna meet Monday at 8, but I think I should warn you there’s a pretty big discrepancy in your reports.

Paige: Reports?

Ms. Hatzilakos: Takes on the situation. Mr. Oleander has a very different one. He told me that you were obsessed with him, that you followed him, you wouldn’t leave him alone. You stalked him.


-At Emma’s house, the girls are wearing face masks and painting nails-

Spike: Put this right on the scratches. More mocktails coming right up.

Chante: So Paige basically fights you because of a guy?

Manny: Paige basically fights me because she’s a psycho wench.

Emma: She fought you because guys are always turning women against each other.

Darcy: Well that’s true.

Emma: I’d rather be the way we are now. No guys, no judging, no upset!

Chante: I like that we don’t have to worry about being pretty. Just us.

Emma: Let’s declare the revolution begun. To heck with guys.

Chester: Sup girls.

Darcy & Chante: Chester’s your neighbor?

Emma: He just moved in. So?!

Chester: You’re looking a little green.

*The three girls get up and run inside the house*

Emma: Where are you going?

Manny: I am disfigured!

Chester: Having a slumber party Emmaline?


-At Matt’s apartment, Paige knocks on the door-

Matt: Hi.

Paige: Hi. You’re just gonna say hi?!

Matt: Look I tried calling. You weren’t picking up your phone. I’m glad you came over.

Paige: Gee why didn’t I put microphone in my bra? That’s such a novice psycho stalker mistake.

Matt: I know you’re upset. Me too.

Paige: No I’m not. I’m livid, boiling, pissed beyond all recognition.

Matt: Can we talk about this?

Paige: You have three minutes.

Matt: Paige you know what this job means to me. You know what school means to me.

Paige: I’m waiting for the us part.

Matt: Us? I, I figured we’d leave time to let it blow over and when it’s summer we’re home free.

Paige: And in the meantime I get what, expelled? Referred to as that sad, desperate loony who stalks TA’s?

Matt: I didn’t know what else to say!

Paige: Please you wanted to look like the good guy. Don’t kid yourself!

Matt: Okay Paige you had a public fight with Manny Santos after promising me nothing else would be said!

Paige: She was really mean. Why am I doing this?!

Matt: My entire future is on the line…


-At Emma’s house-

Manny: Em’s taking dibs on all the good t-shirts. She must be stopped.

Emma: They don’t seem too concerned with their tie-dye prospects at the moment.

Chante: Chester’s going to come out soon. These are 15 minutes shoes. Max.

Emma: This is supposed to be about us. Boy-less fun remember? A movement?!

*They see Chester and his brother’s playing football outside*

Darcy: Oh my god. There’s three of him!

Chante: Multiple adorable Chesters?

Manny: Em, I’m sorry, but it’s the call of the wild. Hey Chester and copies, hit me!

*Chester’s brother throws the football and it splashes tie-dye water all over Emma*

Chester: Oh! Nice one!

Emma: Why did you do that?!

*The same brother comes over, picks up the bucket and splashes them all with the water*

Darcy: Chester!! This isn’t funny.

Chester: You girls have no sense of humor. That was hilarious!!

Emma: He is so gonna regret that!


-At the movie theatres-

Alex: You know fake cheese is one ingredient away from being plastic.

Paige: Oh just like Manny Santos.

Alex: Mr. O’s the one you should be mad at. That wasn’t exactly a prince charming move.

Paige: Yeah except what if I kind of miss him already? Is that bad? Shoot me. Drown me in fake cheese.

Alex: It’s not that bad and hey now you know he’s human, not some yoga-bodied teacher god.

Meery: Is this a coffee klatch or a work place? Because it sure ain’t a self serve. Those things are customers!

Paige: Welcome to my nightmare, combo?

Dylan: Where is he?

Marco: Dylan’s feeling all macho about the whole Matt thing. Sorry.

Dylan: No one takes advantage of you like that okay?! You’re my sister.

Paige: I’m working okay, Hulk? Shh!

Dylan: The guy’s a predator.

Paige: He’s like the same age as you. Are you praying on Marco? Matt’s not perfect, he’s just-

Dylan: Just disgusting.

Paige: Just wonderful and sweet and fun and he put everything on the line for me. I’m such a jerk.


-Outside Chester’s house, the girls are sticking tampons and pads on the tree-

Manny: He is going to be so grossed out!

Emma: K hold the ladder steady.

Manny: There’s no time!

Emma: Please. Manny!! We are women. Hear us roar Chester.

Manny: Emma please be careful!

*The cops show up when Emma is at the top of the ladder, the girls run away and Chester opens the window*

Chester: Hey Emmaline.


-At Matt’s apartment-

Paige: Monday. Um. I’ll go along with it. With your story. I lost my temper with Manny. Michalchuk’s, we have temper.

Matt: Paige…

Paige: You can’t lose your entire life, not just for kissing some selfish high school chick. It can’t happen.

Matt: I uh, I don’t know what to say.

Paige: Please don’t say anything. Just try and look cute on Monday so it all feels like it was worth it.

Matt: Paige. *He goes in to kiss her*

Paige: There’s no strings attached. Don’t worry. There’s no strings with us. *She leaves*


-In Ms. Hatzilakos’ office-

Paige: I don’t need my parents to protect me. I’m only telling the truth. I was inappropriate with Mr. Oleander and I’d like to transfer out of his class, immediately.

Mr. Simpson: It’s the only media immersion class offered in grade 11. You will fail the course.

Paige: So I’ll repeat it next year.

Mr. Simpson: Every grade 12 credit is taken, Paige, for university applications.

Paige: Well, then maybe I should just transfer schools entirely, now.

Ms. Hatzilakos: It’s May! Transferring so late, chances are you can’t complete the academic year. You will fail entirely.

Mr. Simpson: Have you really thought this through? You should be getting set for university, not acting like you’re in kindergarten.

Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson!

Mr. Simpson: I’m sorry, but I’m not buying what she’s selling. Anything I saw didn’t look too one sided.

Ms. Hatzilakos: You saw something?

Paige: Leave it sir. Please leave it.

Mr. Simpson: No I can’t. I trusted you with my kids. My kids trusted you, including her.

Paige: Please stop it. Can we just stop?

Matt’s advisor: Students often have feelings for their teachers. You just took your feelings too far. We can help.

Mr. Simpson: Okay I’m not going to sit here and watch this.

Paige: I don’t care if I fail! Can we just finish this now please?!

Mr. Simpson: Daphne, who’s side are we on huh?! The students or the teachers?!

Ms. Hatzilakos: I need to know what you saw Archie. How can I make a decision if I don’t know what you saw!

Matt: We had-

Ms. Hatzilakos: There’s a lot at stake here.

Matt: We had a relationship.

Paige: What are you doing?

Matt: We were seeing each other outside of school. It shouldn’t have happened. I take full responsibility.


-Outside Chester’s house, Emma is walking by-

Chester: Ho, ho, ho.

Emma: You can’t label people.

Chester: Woah! I thought it was Christmas. How was jail?

Emma: I only got a warning.

Chester: Sadly, I got another warning, about Chuck and Chad.

Emma: About who?

Chester: My brothers. They’re plotting their revenge.

Emma: So your names are Chester, Chuck and Chad?

Chester: Consider me your mole behind enemy lines, two doors down. I’ll keep you posted.

Emma: Okay thanks. I appreciate it.


-In the park-

Paige: I can’t believe you did that.

Matt: That makes two of us.

Paige: You doing okay?

Matt: Well I can stay in the BA program, but um, teacher’s college is done.

Paige: Well maybe I could call your school. Tell them it was my fault or something.

Matt: I think we’ve learned that really doesn’t work.

Paige: I want you to know, you would have been worth losing my year over.

Matt: Except I wouldn’t have been worth very much if I let you do that. And I wouldn’t have let you do that. You know that right? Not because of guilt or me being a gentleman.

Paige: Matt I know. Guess the good news is, doesn’t matter who sees us in the park.

Matt: Yeah. That is the good news!

417- Queen Of Hearts

-At Ellie’s house, Ellie is rushing around trying to get ready for school and drinks something gross and spits it out-

Ellie: Think that’s funny Bueller? You think that’s funny? It’s not funny. No. No it’s not. See you tonight Little B. Bueller? Little B!

*There’s a knock at the door*

Ellie: Mr. Martin.

Mr. Martin: Friday’s end of month Ellie. I need a check.

Ellie: I’m getting it tonight from my mom. You don’t have to worry sir.

Mr. Martin: Just like I didn’t have to worry last month when you were late with the rent.

Ellie: See I had the rent…I, I just didn’t know how to get it to you. Sean always did that.

Mr. Martin: Is he back yet?

Ellie: Sean’s not coming back sir.

*The lamp starts flashing and making weird noises*

Mr. Martin: You forget to pay the electric bill too?

Ellie: Sometimes my ferret. I-

Mr. Martin: You got a ferret here?!

Ellie: I catch him chewing on electrical cords and…Bueller! Oh Bueller.


-Outside the school-

Marco: Ferret Bueller is dead?! That’s awful.

Craig: That’s terrible.

Alex: You named your ferret Bueller?

Jimmy: Alex, a heart! Try to find one!

Ellie: Bueller was Sean’s baby and since he’s been gone, things haven’t exactly been fun around the apartment.

Alex: Marco, partner? The game is euchre. Spades is up.

Marco: I’ll come over after school. We’ll have a ceremony. A ferret funeral.

Ellie: I’m meeting mom for dinner. An event promising to be as much fun as a ferret funeral.

Craig: And you can’t postpone? Death in the family. It’s a good excuse.

Ellie: Dinner + Mom = rent money.

Marco: I’ll come over after.


-In a classroom-

Matt: I’m looking for examples of media manipulation in say…television. *Paige and Hazel both raise their hands* Hazel.

Hazel: Well there’s video news releases. Companies create um stories on their product which are then shown as local news programs and the people watching have no idea where they came from.


-In the hallway-

Paige: Mr. O. Is there a reason you’re shy to call on me in class?

Matt: Hey I give equal time to every student.

Paige: In the classroom anyway.

Mr. Simpson: Good class Mr. Oleander!

Paige: New rule. Suggestive comments only to be delivered a bray Degrassi. Say at the Cine-Square? Tonight, back row. I’ve got free passes.

Matt: Isn’t it a school night?

Paige: Yeah I like school nights. There’s less chance of running into someone from school.

Manny: Paige.

Paige: Oh new uniforms! Finally.

Manny: Yeah there’s 3 boxes in the office we have to pick up.

Matt: Listen, Paige. Thanks for helping me with the uh bulletin board.

Paige: And Mr. Oleander uh thank you for um offering me help with that essay.

Manny: *under her breath as Paige leaves* So obvious.


-In a restaurant, Ellie and her mom are sitting in silence-

Mrs. Nash: Oh. It’s $500 right?

Ellie: Rent’s $540. Mom you could always give me a few post-dated checks.

Mrs. Nash: And miss my monthly dinner with my daughter?! How are you? Living alone.

Ellie: Good.

Mrs. Nash: I’m proud of you, being so independent. Living all by yourself. I’ve been in group for three months. I’m being therapied out the wazoo. Since you left I haven’t had a drink. If you want to move back I promise to keep that.

*Ellie stands up to leave*

Mrs. Nash: Sit! I miss you all the time and I want to talk about this.

Ellie: Yeah I told Marco I’d meet him.

Mrs. Nash: I’m different.

Ellie: Understand why I don’t trust you on that one mom.

Mrs. Nash: Ellie-

Ellie: If you’re proud of me being independent. Watch me go one step further. After this month I won’t take any more of your money. I won’t need you mom. Not anymore.


-At the funeral, Marco and Ellie are throwing rocks on the dirt-

Ellie: Here lies Bueller Nash. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you better…or longer! I’m just really sorry you’re gone.


-At the movie theatre-

Paige: I know this was my idea, but we have to go now.

Matt: Thought you wanted to sit in a dark theatre. Two hours plus previews.

Meeri: Paige!! You don’t return phone calls?! The reject twins called in sick. You’re behind the counter.

Paige: But I’m off shift.

Meeri: Wanna make that permanent?

Matt: No she doesn’t.

Paige: Matt!

Matt: Paige. Your boss could have just as easily been Simpson. We could have just as easily been caught. See you tomorrow.


-At Ellie’s house-

Marco: No Sean. No Bueller. You sure you’re okay to stay alone?

Ellie: Say you’re offering. Please the only other person who wants to be with me right now: my mother!

Marco: I’m offering! No worries.

Ellie: I won’t. At least not about waking up to find you passed out with the house on fire. Mom flashback. Sorry.

Marco: Hey worry instead about playing Euchre, Ellie Nash.

Ellie: You want to play cards?

Marco: Dylan’s hockey team plays Thursdays, for money. A lot of money. My allowance only lasts like three hands.

Ellie: And you play why?

Marco: I repeat, Dylan’s hockey team.

*Ellie nods knowingly*

Marco: Now. You deal out five cards each. What’s leftover goes in a pile. The top card turned up. That card’s trump. Now the jack of that suit is the highest. If you have an amazing hand you can go low, play without your partner. Worth two points. So-


-Outside the school-

Jimmy: Let’s go Del Rossi. Dealer has dealt. Hearts are trump.

Ellie: Meaning the jack of hearts is the highest card in the world.

Marco: Ellie speaks euchre now.

Craig: Hey Marco with your hair all big like that you kind of look like Ashley.

Marco: I was sans product this morning. *Turns to Ellie* And you said it looked fine!!

Alex: Marco be gone. Ellie you’re in.

Ellie: I can’t take Marco’s place.

Marco: No. It’s okay. Sit. Dylan’s entire hockey team combined is less competitive than her.

Alex: The ace of spades is down.

Ellie: Meaning it’s their trick so far?

Craig: That’s the queen…of hearts. You sure you want to lead trump?

Ellie: Well I don’t have any spades and that’s my lowest heart.

Alex: I get a scatter proof partner only to stop for French class?

Jimmy: Oh well, Je suis up for skipping?!

Ellie: Where to?


-In a classroom-

Matt: Today I thought we’d talk about bias in the media. How the news sometimes twists the facts.

Hazel: You’re doing the nod of sleep. It’s not attractive.

Paige: Avert your eyes. Evil Meeri kept me for the late shift.

Matt: Paige, can you tell me how that’s different from outright lying?

Paige: To lie is to present a falsehood. Bias is telling the truth, just a version of the truth.

Matt: Good. *He leaves a note on her desk* Okay so back to why pop stars marry once they release a new CD.


-In the janitor’s closet or boiler room-

Paige: I’ve never had a teacher pass me a note before.

Matt: Look I know this place isn’t exactly romantic, but it seems like every time we try to get together there’s always something-

*The euchre group tries to open the door, but Matt runs and locks it*

Ellie: There’s always the basement!

Paige: Matt that’s it. Tonight after work I come over!

Matt: Where at my place?

Paige: Yeah I want to see your private bohemian man-lair.

Matt: Paige you can’t.

Paige: I’m familiar with the student lifestyle. My brother, he shares one bathroom with twelve guys. At least you have a place of your own, with what a comfy couch, TV, DVD. Away from distractions…

Matt: No. There’s got to be something or someplace else. Look I’ll pop by the theatre and we’ll go out for coffee after work.

Paige: Matt…

Matt: Wait a bit before you leave. *He blows her a kiss as she shakes her head*


-In the school basement-

Craig: Okay. Fine. Rematch. Right now!

Ellie: That was the rematch.

Alex: Unless you want to make it more interesting?

Jimmy: As in uh strip euchre?

Alex: As in money. As in $20.

Craig: Okay.

Jimmy: Okay.

*They start playing again*

Jimmy: And it’s clubs.

Ellie: Oh um one question, why do they call these bowers?

Craig: And we skipped French class for this!! Come on. *Craig and Jimmy leave*

Alex: $10 each. Not real money, but it will buy cafeteria lunch.

Ellie: Wait, today’s Thursday right? I think I know where real money’s gonna be.


-In the hallway-

Ellie: Alex and I would like to play euchre with you and Dylan and Dylan’s hockey team.

Marco: If…if I hook you up, new players have to host the evening.

Ellie: I can host. Hostess whatever.

Marco: Which means buying pizza, playing 50, 60 dollar hands and losing the little money that you might have.

Alex: We have money. We do. Just not any money we plan to lose.


-In the gymnasium-

Manny: So Mr. O is cute.

Paige: And smart and funny with a tight little yoga body thrown in for fun.

Manny: But.

Paige: Big secret. The only place we can escape to where he and me can be (something?), is his. He doesn’t want me going there.

Manny: It sounds to me then there’s not a lot of honesty going around.

Paige: Nobody can know about this Manny!

Manny: No. Not around the school. I mean between you and him. A guy like that, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Paige: Well he did have one, but they split.

Manny: And that’s what he told you?


-At Ellie’s house-

Alex: That’s my whole last pay check.

Ellie: Plus $10 from this morning.

Alex: It isn’t enough is it?

Ellie: $540. Otherwise known as my rent.

Alex: Let’s not use all of it.

Ellie: I like this. Playing this. Partner thing works for me.

Marco: Ellie the hockey team just got here and we’ve already gone through the pizzas.

Dylan: Let me introduce you to the team. They want to get started.

Alex: I’m Alex. This is Ellie, my friend. We’re here to defeat you.

*Montage of them all playing cards with the guys beating Alex & Ellie*

Alex: We’re behind by a point. We have to take the next hit.

Ellie: And if we lose it?

Alex: Let me be the negative one, okay? It’s a bigger gamble, but James wants to put more money down. You alright with that?

Ellie: Move in.

Alex: Sure I’ll go get my things.

Ellie: I’m serious. Move in. It’d be cool.

Alex: Cool? Sure no mom, no mom’s boyfriend of the week, but then there’s this thing called rent.

Ellie: Only $270 a month. Each.

Alex: I can’t afford $2 a month.

Ellie: So I’ll pay more or I won’t tell my mom you’re living here. Its not like she comes around.

Alex: And this is the horrible woman you hate?

Ellie: It’d be great. It’d be fun. Right now I need fun.

Alex: Move to Wassaga with Sean if you’re lonely or suck it up and go home.

Ellie: My mom was drunk. Always drunk. Right up to the night she lit the house on fire.

Alex: But she’s sober now and paying your rent, all the time trying to make things right with you. Wow what a monster. The hockey boys are waiting. When you come back to the table leave the sucky girl behind.


-At the movie theatre-

Paige: *on her cell* Hi, customer service? Yes um I just wanted to make sure my phone’s working. Yeah I know I’m calling you on it, so it must be. Okay thanks. Bye. Five more seconds please Meeri!

Meeri: He stood you up didn’t he?

Paige: He’s not cheating on me if that’s what you think.

Meeri: I think that’s what you think.


-At Ellie’s-

Alex: Spades is trump. Pick it up. I’m going alone.

Ellie: What?

Hockey guy 1: You know you’re a point away from losing and us from winning?

Ellie: Um Alex can I talk to you?

Alex: We’ve been over the concept of going alone before. Talk to Marco. I’m sure he’ll clarify things again.

Marco: Are you 100% sure of your hand Alex?!

Alex: 1000. Relax. Here look at the pretty cards.

Hockey guy 2: It’s my leave right?

Ellie: Wait. That’s my rent money.

Alex: You’re bugging me Ellie.

Ellie: You know we’ll just forget this hand. Can I de-card?

Alex: Sit down.

Hockey guy 2: I lead with the ace of hearts.

Alex: Keep it. Don’t bother. 4 points. We win. You really ought to believe in people more.


-At Matt’s apartment-

Paige: Why aren’t you answering your phone?! Who is in there with you?

Matt: What are you doing here Paige? Don’t! Paige.

*She pushes past him and sees a really crappy apartment with a leaking ceiling*

Matt: Guy upstairs flushed his toilet through my ceiling…for the third time this year. I would have called but they’ve cut off my service.

Paige: This is your apartment?

Matt: Yeah. You want the tour? We can begin and end in the foyer.

Paige: I thought you were with someone.

Matt: Is that the kind of guy you think I am?

Paige: I don’t know Matt. I see you in class or at the water fountain or at yoga, but beyond that!

*She sits down on his bed*

Matt: That’s wet. The toilet’s above it. Look beyond that, I’m a student like you, except I live in a pit hole apartment. There! All the glamour this relationship ever had: gone!

Paige: You said relationship, which means I get to stay.

*They start kissing*


-At Ellie’s, there’s a knock at the door-

Ellie: It’s open.

Mrs. Nash: It’s the middle of the night Ellie. There’s no emergency?

Ellie: I had to be sure of something.

Mrs. Nash: Sure of what?

Ellie: That you could come over. That you were sober. You weren’t drunk.

Mrs. Nash: You woke me as a test?!

Ellie: I wrote a letter to Mr. Martin. It says I’m giving two months notice.

Mrs. Nash: Oh so you’re coming home!

Ellie: I, I said I wrote it mom. I haven’t given it to him. Not yet.

Mrs. Nash: But you’re going to?

Ellie: No more drinking?

Mrs. Nash: The best I can do is try. Day by day. Try.

Ellie: Then promise me you’ll try and make it easy for me to trust you.

Mrs. Nash: Come home Ellie. I’m tired of being alone.

Ellie: Yeah. Me too.

Sponsors

416- Eye of the Tiger

-Outside of Degrassi-

*Everyone is watching as Jimmy comes out of a van and they all start clapping and cheering*

Hazel: Hey la my boyfriend’s back!

Paige: I know, this is so song worthy!

Ashley: Hi.

Jimmy: Wow. Thanks you guys and uh thanks for not making a big deal out of it.

Ashley: Hazel tried to stop us.

Marco: Emphasize on try. Everyone was really excited to have you back.

*Spinner and Manny walk out of the school and Spinner waves*

Jimmy: Everyone?

*Spinner puts down his arm when Jimmy doesn’t smile at him*

Jimmy: Okay who’s ramping it with me?

Marco: Let’s go!!


-In the computer lab-

Spinner: Hey. Um listen about the...the hospital.

Jimmy: Wheels. Chair. It’s a wheelchair. Gawk all you want, it’s not going away.

Spinner: Um. Dude I would have come, but things got crazy busy around here and you know how it is…

Jimmy: I understand. I probably should have been there with you instead of at the hospital getting a bullet removed from my spine. My bad.

Spinner: I’m sorry okay? I didn’t know what to say or how to act. I suck.

Jimmy: Sit down. At this angle I can see up your nose. Not good.

Spinner: You should hate me.

Jimmy: That takes too much energy. I got other things to deal with, like hooking up some phat rims for the ride.

Mr. Simpson: Jimmy Brooks is in the house!

Jimmy: What’s up man?

Mr. Simpson: Hey. You gonna help me keep that guy in line? *looking at Spinner*

Jimmy: Yeah.

Mr. Simpson: Okay.


-A montage of Spinner helping Jimmy get his books out of his locker, pushing him through the halls, giving him a water bottle when he can’t use the fountain, taping up the cords on the ground so Jimmy can wheel right over them, Spinner is looking at the trophy case then goes up to Mr. Armstrong-

Spinner: Oh Coach sir! Um after, after the game today I have an idea!


-At Liberty’s, JT & Liberty are kissing-

Liberty: Your lips taste like sweet jelly.

Danny: Hey Liberty, how’s your mono?

Liberty: Bravo Daniel, you’ve discovered humor.

Danny: So JT, boarding park awaits!

Liberty: As does the hot tub, a perfect 105 Fahrenheit, 40.56 degrees Celsius. Just checked.

Danny: Did you check the chlorine level?

Liberty: It’s bromine, my little rottweiler.

Danny: Still not strong enough to kill whatever fungus is growing on you.

JT: You know what? My shorts double as a bathing suit!

Danny: JT!

JT: *weighing out his options with his hands* Rolling on the cement with you, rolling in the water with your sister...

Danny: If dad catches you in there together, he’ll-

Liberty: Oh, but he won’t because if he comes home you’ll give us a signal.

JT: Something obnoxious you know, like a bark!


-At the basketball game-

Mr. Armstrong: Alright before we head to the playoffs, the team would like to thank someone who helped get them there. Let’s have a big round of applause for Jimmy Brooks!!

*Everyone’s clapping and cheering for him*

Spinner: Hey um alright. Your name’s already on here twice, but uh from now on Degrassi’s MVP basketball award will be known as the Jimmy Brooks trophy!

Jimmy: Um this is definitely a surprise. I guess all I can say is, uh we go for MVP number 3 next year right?! Go Panthers!


-At Liberty’s house-

Mr. Van Zandt: Good afternoon Daniel. Sister around?

Danny: She’s out back. Soaking all her problems away.

Mr. Van Zandt: Mm hmm.

Danny: *quietly* Woof.

JT: Why didn’t you tell me my butt was so big?

Liberty: Because I like your butt.

Mr. Van Zandt: Out!! Now!

Liberty: We were just-

Mr. Van Zandt: JT, go home!

Liberty: JT’s one of my oldest friends!

Mr. Van Zandt: He’s also a teenage boy! You want to see JT again? Well wait until you’re twenty.


-In the gymnasium-

*Jimmy is trying to play basketball but gets frustrated, then Spinner walks in*

Jimmy: Just trying to do a lay-up.

Spinner: Better watch traveling if you wanna be back next year, right?

Jimmy: There won’t be a next year Spin. My basketball career, my whole future is gone. Just like these two pieces of me.

Spinner: Dude don’t.

Jimmy: Look stuck in a bed for three months, you can’t stop thinking.

Spinner: About getting better man and you will!!

Jimmy: About Rick and how I rode him just as hard as you guys! Even harder.

Spinner: Yeah but you didn’t set up the paint.

Jimmy: I know, but that doesn’t change anything does it? Rick put me in this chair for life. For life!! Sometimes I just wish he had better aim, finish the job.

Spinner: You don’t mean that!

Jimmy: How do you know what I mean. Are you in a chair? Do you wake up every morning thinking you can walk and then remembering that you will never ever walk again?!?! It’s not your fault. It’s mine.

Spinner: In the bathroom after, after we dumped that stuff on Rick…me and Jay…told him you were behind it.

Jimmy: And then he shot me.

*Jimmy rolls away as Spinner is just sitting in the middle of the room crying*


-At Degrassi, the next day, everyone’s looking at Spinner-

Craig: You actually showed up today.

Marco: Nobody wants to see you Spin. You’ve done enough damage.

Spinner: Exactly and now I have to fix it.

Craig: Then go fix it someplace else, as far away from Jimmy.

Marco: And that includes the party tonight alright?! Make other plans.

*Spinner walks away and sees Manny*

Spinner: Manny!

*She looks at him then walks away and completely ignores him*


-Outside the school-

Danny: You know it’s against the code for a guy to hook up with his best friend’s sister!

JT: The code? Somebody cue the laugh track.

Danny: Fine, she’s my sister and you don’t have my permission to go out with her.

JT: Excuse me?

Danny: She’s the smartest person in the school and you don’t even have an IQ! You don’t deserve her.

JT: That’s too bad because uh, the smartest girl in school thinks I do.

Danny: I guess you’ll need her help to read the instructions to your penis pump!

JT: Danny...I swear!

*Danny shoves JT, who shoves him back, then they start wrestling around. JT gives Danny a wedgie and he falls back and hits his head*

Liberty: Danny! Danny.

JT: Liberty! He-

Liberty: Is bleeding. My brother’s bleeding because of you!


-At the Dot-

Waitress: I thought this place was a mad house after school. Where’s the gang?

Jay: Who’s a guy got to bribe around here to get some service? You know call me psychic, but I called it. You had to open your trap, didn’t you?!

Spinner: Jimmy deserved to know the truth.

Jay: Oh. Cool. So tell me, being an outcast, everyone hating you, does that make you feel any better? Cause if you want to be punished I can slap you around myself.

*Spinner grabs Jay’s arm and they almost start to fight*

Waitress: Hey! Hey if you’re not going to order it’s time to leave, okay? *Jay leaves*

*Spinner leaves work and Jay is waiting outside for him*

Spinner: Lets go! Right now.

Jay: Easy. I didn’t come here to fight, I just wanted to introduce you to my friends. Cause buddy you need friends. *pulls out some booze* This guy, he’s nasty. Tastes like fire. Rubs people the wrong way. *pulls out a coke* This guy here, well sweet...refreshing. But when these two get together, bad news. Kind of like you and me. Figure we outlaws might as well try to have a good time.

*They start drinking*


-At Liberty’s house-

Danny: Liberty?

Liberty: No trespassing! Because of your stupid little boy-crush, ruined everything!!

Danny: Liberty he’s not what you think! He’s just JT! A non-stop farting horndog.

Liberty: He was my boyfriend!


-In the woods, Jay and Spinner are drunk-

Jay: So Jimmy’s party. Did you lose your invitation?

Spinner: Nah man. They all hate me.

Jay: Hey! My philosophy, they can all go to hell.

Spinner: Yeah, but they weren’t your friends to begin with.

Jay: It’s this whole blame thing though! Rick is the bad guy, but now that he’s gone everyone’s looking to blame someone else.

Spinner: Yeah man! It’s like, It’s like I’m the guy who brought the gun to school. I’m, I’m the guy who shot Jimmy, right? I’m the criminal. It’s not fair!!

Jay: You want some cheese with that whine or are you gonna do something about it?

Spinner: Think I just found my invitation! *Drinks the rest of the bottle then smashes it against a tree*


-At Craig’s-

*Craig is singing karaoke (poorly) to ‘Takin’ Care Of Business’ and everyone’s laughing, then Spinner stumbles in and knocks over the lamp*

Craig: You lost?!

Spinner: Jimmy! Listen. I wish, I wish none of that ever happened Jimmy!

Jimmy: You’re drunk.

Spinner: Just how can I get you to stop hating me?

Hazel: Spinner you should really go!

Paige: Can’t you take a hint?

Spinner: Just chew me out, bite my head off! I don’t care, just tell me please!!

Jimmy: Craig it’s your song still.

*They turn the music back on, Spinner grabs the keys off the counter, then stumbles outside and Marco, who was watching, follows*

Marco: Spinner!! Spinner what are you doing?

Spinner: Guys don’t want me here. I’m going home.

Marco: Come on Spin, you’re drunk alright? The next thing you know you’re in jail or the hospital or the morgue!!

Spinner: I don’t care!!

Marco: Craig! Craig!! Craig!

Craig: Spinner, get out of the car! Get out of the car!

*He closes the door and locks it*

Craig: Spinner get out of the car.

Marco: Spin come on. Spin don’t! Come on, Spinner don’t be stupid!!

*He starts driving and nearly hits Jimmy*

Spinner: Move Jimmy I mean it!

Jimmy: Look I don’t feel sorry for you if that’s what you want, okay?

Spinner: I want my friend back!

Jimmy: When have you ever treated me like a friend? When you lied to Rick? When you told me about it?

Spinner: You needed to know!

Jimmy: No you needed to make yourself feel better. Why don’t you for once, just think about somebody other than Spinner? Or you know what, just go drive off a bridge! I don’t care. I don’t. You’re dead to me already.

Craig: Keys!!

*Spinner hands him the keys then leans back and starts to cry*


-At Liberty’s-

Liberty: Not in the mood for your hullabaloo Danny. This better be good.

*She sees JT and starts to leave*

Danny: Wait! JT didn’t do anything. It’s my fault. I started the fight.

Liberty: He didn’t have to finish it.

Mr. Van Zandt: Liberty!! *She runs off* Hey Danny, where’s your sister?

Danny: Student council meeting. She already left.

Mr. Van Zandt: Oh? I could have sworn I heard you two just talking. Who were you talking to?

Danny: Just practicing. Oral presentation today.

Mr. Van Zandt: Oh well, keep it up and don’t be late for school!

Danny: Ok, coast is clear guys.

*JT and Liberty are kissing*

Danny: Oh gross! I give up!


-At school, in the office-

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Gavin if you’d like to talk this…some other time-

Spinner: No. No, I’m ready now. I bullied Rick a lot and the Whack Your Brain contest, the paint and feathers thing.

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Yeah?

Spinner: It was my idea.

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Is there anyone else I need to talk to about that?

*Spinner nods*

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Well?

Spinner: Jay. Jay Hogart. He was in on it too.

Mrs. Hatzilakos: *On the phone* Sarah can you please pull Jay Hogart out of class. Please have him wait for me. *off the phone* I don’t even know where to begin. This is beyond anything you’ve ever done at this school.

Spinner: I know. I know and if you have to suspend me I will-

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Suspend?! A boy died! Another one is confined to a wheelchair for what might be the rest of his life!

Spinner: I’m sorry.

Mrs. Hatzilakos: I know you’re sorry, but it does not change what you did. Please, go to your locker, pack your things and I’ll notify your parents.

Spinner: When do I get to come back?

Mrs. Hatzilakos: Gavin, we have zero tolerance for bullying and I have no choice. I’m expelling you.

414/415- Secrets

-In the auditorium, during play rehearsal-

Danny: Sixteen lay. Castle Dracula will die in it’s prisoner. Worse, I fear I may be going mad. *He keeps talking as Jay walks up to Emma and feels her shoulder*

Jay: You’re tense.

Emma: I’m always tense.

Jay: Snap in half if you don’t relax. *His hand touches down her arm, then her ass*

JT: Three beauties! Three beauties! Emma!

Emma: Sorry! We are ravenous.

Alex: We hunger, we long.

Amy: Tonight we feast.


-Outside a classroom-

Some teacher: Emma would you like to see a draft of your participation grade? *He raises then lowers his arm to show she’s at zero* I know you went through a lot after the shooting. The grace period is coming to an end, okay?

*Emma walks away and sees Jay and Alex making out*

Jay: Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.

Alex: You could sell it online for big porno buc