Step 8: Understand Your Spending Issues…and Save!
Part 1: Why You Shop: Entertainment
Almost every mall operator in this country has recognized they can't be a landlord; they have to be a place-maker. There has to be something besides shopping that either gets people there or keeps people there longer. The result: For many people, shopping is all about a social experience. You meet your friend at the mall because you want to be with her. You buy something together because that's something else you can share.
How to Resist: Delay, delay, delay. When you're shopping for entertainment, you tend to buy because you feel guilty about not buying. How can you spend nothing when your friend is already toting three shopping bags? How can you spend nothing when the salesperson has given you 45 minutes of your time?
To take the edge off, put the items you're considering on hold. If you're still desperate to have them tomorrow, you can always return to the store and buy them. Putting a little distance between yourself and the purchase will help you evaluate it more rationally. And besides, if the item is really for you, it will be there when you come back.
You've heard it called "retail therapy"—it really is a pick-me-up. People shop to fill the gap between who they are and who they want to be. In other words, it's a way to fill a void in your life. You believe life will be better and you will be different if you own those shoes or that pair of pants. It won't.
How to Resist: Understand the forces at work and your particular motivation for buying. Is your trip to your favorite store or website a result of a spat with your spouse or a particularly large number when you stepped on the scale? Did you just get a raise and feel you absolutely deserve to spend some of it immediately? Or, were you feeling lonely and are just so grateful to the solicitous salesperson who seemed to be the first person in a very long time to care what might make you happy? (Remember, that may be true, but it's also part of a salesperson's job.)
Psychologist April Benson gives all of her patients a laminated card with six questions on it to put in their wallet on top of their credit cards. She suggests pausing—a deep breath helps, too—every time you approach the register and asking yourself:
* Why am I here?
* How do I feel?
* Do I need this?
* What if I wait?
* How will I pay for it?
* Where will I put it?
You may just find you no longer want to buy.
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