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April Monthly - Feature Article

Feature Article
Anger Can Be Your Friend

Anger is an uncomfortable emotion that sometimes we wish we could skip. Instead, I teach my clients to find the wisdom in their anger.

1. Anger lets you know when your boundaries have been violated.
Karla McLaren, in her book, "Emotional Genius," describes anger as an "honorable sentry." Anger is a fantastic "red flag" warning system that alerts you when someone crosses the line — by making inappropriate requests or by invading your personal space, for example. It is also an announcement that you may have violated your own boundaries, perhaps by saying yes to things that you don't really want to do. Usually this shows up as one of anger's companions — resentfulness, crabbiness, crankiness, or frustration. Then you'll know you've gone too far.

2. Anger is the energy of personal power.
The energy of anger and the energy of personal power are similar. In the Enneagram, a personality system that I admire, the Eight is the type that's in touch with their anger. Eights will tell you that anger is their fuel -- it's what spurs them to accomplish their goals. It is their energy of determination. You can learn to harness this power by using it appropriately to stand up for yourself, to reestablish your boundaries, and to say no. Anger can be the energy of self-respect when you use it this way.

3. Anger is a catalyst for change.
As sentry and as power, anger urges you to make necessary and sometimes difficult changes in your life. It gives you the fortitude to effect change and to weather it. It gives you the strength to say no, to put your foot down, and to gather your inner resources in a burst of empowered action and determination that creates a new experience.

So when you experience anger, look for ways to tap into its energy rather than repressing it. Allow it to guide you, teach you, and inspire you.

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Copyright October 2005, Jennifer K. Avery

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Jenna Avery, the Life Coach for Sensitive Souls, offers an original coaching program designed to guide highly sensitive souls to a deep sense of inner rightness, so they are inspired to step forward and shine. You're invited to visit her website at www.highlysensitivesouls.com to take her free online assessment, "Is Your Sensitivity Working For You?"

What is Sensitive?

By Jenna Avery, CLC,
Life Coach for Sensitive Souls

Do you often feel overwhelmed by your environment or the people around you? Has anyone ever called you shy – or worse: “too sensitive”? Do you care deeply about EVERYTHING? You may be a highly sensitive soul – a person of deep empathy and high intensity, with powerful intuition, awareness, and intelligence.

Being highly sensitive, you have a uniquely perceptive sensory system. You are therefore more sensitive to emotions, energy, environmental conditions such as lighting or sound, other people, excitement, and stress. As a result of constant stimuli, you may feel easily overwhelmed or unable to cope. Things can be particularly confusing when others seem unperturbed by the same experiences. For example, your friends might be able to shop all day, go out to dinner, and then head to a loud party. For you, that would be unbearable.

Characteristics of Highly Sensitive Souls

extremely intuitive
highly aware, keenly observant
attuned to the subtleties of the surrounding environment light, noise, sound, temperature, etc.
emotionally sensitive and caring, easily affected by the energy and emotions of others
often empathic or psychic
experience emotions with great intensity and depth
have a lower tolerance for stimulation than others
need adequate rest, nutrition and time alone to feel balanced
highly conscientious
intense, passionate, emotional
able to concentrate deeply with uninterrupted time
prefer to work independently
process information deeply and from many sources of information
often more right-brained, artistic
often feel very different than "everyone else"
have a rich, complex inner life – often highly imaginative
often seen by others as sensitive or shy
often introverted, though 30% of HSPs are “socially extroverted” according to Dr. Aron
can get extremely engaged with work and ideas
often prefer to avoid news and TV
have an important role to play in society as advisors, sages or prophets

Jenna Avery is a highly sensitive coach and intuitive who offers an original coaching program called Embrace Your Essential Self, designed to guide sensitive souls to find a deep sense of inner rightness within themselves so they are inspired to step forward and shine. Jenna is a Certified Life Coach based in Berkeley, California. She can be reached at 510.981.0697. She also offers support for sensitives in business through the Sensitive Professionals Network.You’re invited to take her free online assessment: "Is Your Sensitivity Working For You?" on her website at www.highlysensitivesouls.com.

Good things about Sensitives

By Jenna Avery, CLC,
Life Coach for Sensitive Souls

When we focus on what’s great about being highly sensitive, a number of key aspects emerge. As you read this article, allow yourself to consider the gifts that these traits bring into your life.

1. We are perceptive. Our sensitivity includes a natural inclination to absorb subtle information from a range of sources, from our environment and those around us. The details come through many channels, including: smelling, tasting, touching, seeing, hearing, intuiting, and sensing energy. Ultimately, we observe fine details in the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual realms. This means we have a leg up on most people, who aren’t able to take in so much information.

2. We are intuitive. Sensitives have a strong ability to connect with sources of information and discern solutions beyond what is explicable through the intellect. In other words, sometimes we “just know.” This means we have powerful skills that make it possible for us to assist ourselves and others more efficiently and effectively. I love my intuitive ability to quickly arrive at answers and discover knowledge that I can’t access through analysis or reasoning. Our intuition can bring us great peace of mind if we learn to trust it.

3. We are creative, imaginative, or creatively attuned. We have the ability to tie together things that we see into complex and original concepts. This makes us visionaries or “priestly advisors,” according to Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. Our artistic inclinations, along with our sensing abilities, allow us to make beautiful spaces and objects. We can get things “just right.” We also enjoy a rich experience of life. Like in the “Wizard of Oz,” when Dorothy comes out of the house in Munchkin Land, everything is in Technicolor! I’ll gladly take the “lions and tigers and bears” and the “oh my” to experience everything else that goes along with it.

4. We are empathic. As sensitives, we empathize with others. Sometimes we can even experience other people’s emotions as if they were our own, particularly when we have weak boundaries. When we tune into other people’s energy and emotional states, it’s easy for us to surmise what they need and want. This makes our relationships deeply authentic and caring. Ultimately, this means we are gifted in our ability to be of service to others.

5. We are passionate and intense. Because we are such passionate people, sensitives experience great beauty, great joy, and even great sorrow. In short, we experience life deeply. We are well equipped to go “deep sea diving” with ourselves and with others. This means that we are the friends people call in times of need.

6. We are soulful. Sensitives are usually attuned to the spiritual realm. This means we find it easier to live divinely guided lives. When we pay attention to ourselves and our spirituality, we easily discover our purpose and life plan. This also means we can graciously usher in the spiritual and sacred for those around us.

All of these traits, together, make us important members of society. Without us, our culture would experience significantly less art, beauty, tenderness, spirituality, passion, and peace. We bring so much healing to the world with our awareness, insight, and knowledge. In fact, we make great planners, strategists, trouble-shooters, healers, energy workers, visionaries, environmentalists, coaches, designers, feng shui practitioners, caregivers, animal experts, artists, musicians, writers, advisers, counselors, teachers, intuitives, psychics, sages, and prophets, etc. These are among many others!

Don’t get me wrong. Many of these traits come with challenges, too. But what I’ve seen is that when we learn the strategies and skills to deal with those challenges, we put our sensitivity to work – on our behalf as well as for the benefit of others. The only thing wrong with being sensitive is trying to pretend that you’re not.

http://www.highlysensitivesouls.com/index.htm