Dear Dimwit
   Advice for idiots.


 

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The best place for unwanted advice. Ever.

     I don't know about you guys, but some people get bored with reading the newspaper. One of those people is me. The thing that I hate most about the news is that it keeps you informed about current events. I don't care about whats happening, unless it's happening to me, then there's a better chance of me paying attention. But this isn't a place to rant about how stupid knowing things is. This website is dedicated to telling people things no one wants to hear. That way everyone wins. Since everyone seems to have thier own advice column in the newpaper nowdays, I figure why not me. The only difference is that no one writes letters to me asking for advice, I just make them up or steal them from other places. No one can prove anything. Other people will just give the same old advice: confide in a trusted adult or get therapy. Not me, I just make you feel bad because I don't have as many problems as you. If you want to reach me to ask for my opinion, tell me you hate me, or inform me that your suing me for everything I own, you can email me at mailto:elvenpunks@hotmail.com



New Stuff

02/24/2005
     Okay, so not really that much is new. The top letter in both the sections are new, that's about it. And this news update is new. In fact, it's so new I haven't even finished it yet. Okay, now it's done.

09/15/2004
    
I actually updated the site. Only one letter, but it's a good one as long as you don't care about mocking the normality challenged. I completely plan on updating more often if I ever have time. Enjoy.

07/28/2004
     
I apologize for not bowing to your every command and updating anything in a month (which is a long time to internet addicts) but due to some clearly seen and completely avoidable circumstances which involved the computer that I mainly use for internet and it being a piece of crap that no longer works, I will be unable to offer you this free service which only wastes my time until I go to college in August and get an interent connection for my new PC. So cry me a river, I will be back online sometime around whenever I feel like getting to it.

06/27/2004
     
Added a guestbook. All of you sign it, now. I also accept all forms of money, as long as they are American.

06/26/2004
     For those of you who are wondering (which I know you're not) I went away for a week. Now I am back. During the week there were exactly zero new letters, mostly because I was gone and had no access to a computer. Deal with it. I will, however, put up more than one now, to almost make up for it or something. Although I do believe everyone that reads this was gone also. Only I and they know why.

06/09/2004
     
Well, I know I haven't updated for a few days, but with school being out I work 6 days a week so I won't always have time to do it everyday like I wanted. Oh well. Added an archive type page so I can fit more letters on the main one, and changed it so the newest ones are at the top. Also got a real letter so will have to start a page to answer it. I'm sure it will be the only one unless you all start asking the questions I know you're dying to ask. You should still visit every day, if only for the sake of me not hating you forever. Which I will.

06/03/2004
     
Yay. I added a counter, so that...Well it's right below, you can read what it's about by yourself. Unless you're blind, in which case I don't know how you can use the interent, but thanks for coming to my site. Have someone read the advice section out loud to you. Then send me tangible items I can sell for tangible money. I also added a form submission page thing. Use it to comment and tell me how good looking you think I should get surgery to be, or ask your own question since as someone pointed out to me, people are too lazy to email questions in. But I only get 25 or so that can be submitted a month, so uh. Okay, it won't be a problem considering there are only two people besides me who will ever visit. Maybe I should get a guestbook and then fake entries. How intriguing.

06/01/2004
     So, pretty much this whole site is new stuff. I got the idea from myself and my clever genius. Hopefully I will update every day, but we'll see. Right now there is just this and the page that actually gives advice. This one won't be updated a lot, but check the other one. Every day. Or die. Seriously.



Now I can keep track of how many times I refresh this page



 


This site is not intended to be taken in any serious manner or to offend. Please don't get mad or sue me. I am already in enough debt as it is from college. You don't want to be a jerk, do you?


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