Monday, 27th November 2006
Damn you people, like i explained a million times, when i blog i do it because i need it at that time and moment and things may come out the wrong way or way be missunderstood by the people who read it. So if you find somthing offensive here or somthing you dont like, fine i know (and the people around me) what i mean, you should come for an explanation before you start acting stupid Oo.
Like for instance what "mandy" commented, that those 2 and a half years was nothing to me, just because i wrote at that moment i was glad i have my life back. What i ment with that was that i am glad with my life the way it is. Just like i am living it now. That DOES NOT mean i did not like my time with ike. Infact i would not have traded those 2.5 years for anything else in the world. Sure we had our ups and downs but i think my time with ike was amazing and irriplacable. I love him with all my heart and i would not have had a better person to spent those 2.5 years with. So if you think my relationship with ike ment nothing you are so wrong. You can ask him if you like ;). Why else would i still be best friends with him right?
More sad news :(. I lost my top ball of navel piercing on my job and by the time i got home it was closed at the top Oo. So i went over to kelly's house to get a new top ball since i lost that one somewhere xD. But i had to poke the piercing through first wich hurted yeah xD. The day after we went to a tattoo and piercing shop anyway for kelly her tattoo wich she wil get next saturday! The guy immediatly cleaned up my piercing and put a new ball on for free ^^. And on the happier part i got 2 of my 4 piercings finally through mail. Just have to wait for the next 2 xD.
~DarkYuna @ 15:33 ||| Cascada - Magic Summer Night |||
Friday, 17th November 2006
Well, no song today :P. I am not really listening to something at the moment because i am trying to concentrate on my website. I have a new layout as you all may have noticed and i am trying to get the site viewable in all browsers since now it can only be viewed properly in IE. And since alot of people use the other browers too i cant stay behind now can i Oo.
Today got me thinking about how i am gonna live my life from now on. I really am thinking about going back to school even though i think school sucks ass Oo. But i really wanna work with children later and i really need to go to school to do that. I just wish it was a little bit easier, rolling back into the school system when you have hade a taste of what making youre own money, and spending it mostly, feels like xD. But i can do this part time study thing where you work 4 days ( 20 hours a week ) and just go to school 1 day. It sounds like my thing since you get paid for the days you work and if the company who wants you is nice enough they may even pay for youre school and stuff. But that starts in febuari and thats kinda far away.
Im off to getting my html straight again since its kinda fucked up xD
~DarkYuna @ 15:33 ||| ... - ... |||
Monday, 13th November 2006
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
is be more like me, and be less like you
Life, its better :P. I feel more comfortable with who i am. With what my future brings me. I can say i am over my depressed fase or something :P. I had a great time going out last saturday and i really missed "going away with the girls". Its just really fun and i finally can do things my way again ^^. I know now why i liked going to clubs again :P.
For the website, i am trying to work on a new layout but i lack inspiration, i really cant seem to make anything out of something so ill keep trying but it might take a while xD. I am working on some new pixels too but i am removing the adoptables section. Its not really what i want for my site. I am kinda merging it all in some sort of "Visitors" part of the site Oo. But ill make some new stuff soon ^^.
Cant say anything else but that i am happy again and that i really need a shower :P. So thats what i am gonna do for now and tomorrownight ill be visiting a friend of mine so that will be fun too ^^. I'm just glad i have my life back, making atleast some sence to me (may not to you but that will come soon too i suppose xD), and i just love the way things are for now. I dont feel alone anymore, i dont feel empty anymore and its all good ^^.
~DarkYuna @ 14:32 ||| Linkin Park - Numb |||
Wednesday, 8th November 2006
How could I have burned paradise?
How could I - you were never mine.
You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it cause it's over,
It's over.
Well my bad mood is almost over, i just need distraction from it all. It justs that the last couple of weeks have sucked and been good to me at the same time. Its all just really confusing and i was hoping it would all go away fast but i guess it cant. Its all alot less, but still confusing and on top of that all these mixed up emotions made me sick <<. Or it could just be winter who is creeping up with me Oo. Anyway my throat is kinda infected and my headaches are a few of the worst i ever had. Taken some painkillers wont even work.
My friends have been good to me, supported me, made me feel better. Dont really feel like explaining the whole thing here because people dont need to know everything that goes on in my life. Some things i rather have personal. If you are wondering if this is about ike, not as much as you guys think i guess. I can handle the fact that we are only friends really well. But thats mainly because this time i feel it is not really working anymore, not the being together part. We proberly should have stayed friends in the beginning too. But yeah thats talking after somthing happend. I really enjoyed the time we had together, i wish it would never end. Because we can have those good times too but just as being friends. We are too "different" too be in a real relationship, we kinda grew apart if you wanna call it that way. But enough about ike Oo.
I like my life the way it is i suppose. I got used to being alone again, although i guess that was the hardest part in the beginning. Being alone again, not having someone to talk to late at night, no-one who is around who you can just turn youre head to and start talking too. I guess that is what i miss the most. People being around me, i never could play alone ether when i was a kid so that could explain alot Oo. Its a good thing i found my friends back and they kinda like take me everywhere and get my mind of things that are not really happening good :P.
I just feel like adding some notes from a song i am listening too at the moment too my blog. Mostly cause i only listen to songs who have somthing to do with my mood, my life at that moment. Not much more around the site to blog about Oo.
~DarkYuna @ 23:54 ||| Evanescence - Call Me When Youre Sober |||
Monday, 6th November 2006
I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I dont know why
Without you its hard to survive
Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall
Thats all i have to say for now <<. Call me depressed, fine, i dont care. It will pass, move on again. Just had it for now <<. Dont feel like blogging anytime soon again too. So much happend way to much, everything goes way too fast. I am doing things i dont want, i never asked for any of this. Why people dont understand, maby they should get to know me before they ask. Why cant it go fine for just once, smooth without any fucking bumps in the road. I so had it with everything. They should just listen for once, whats so fucking hard about that. Just 2 minutes of there time. I never ask for much. Life sucks so hard, i cant handle this <<.
~DarkYuna @ 16:56 ||| Cascada - Everytime We Touch |||
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