amidst a sea of incoherancy

I have wanted to see if I can run a marathon for quite a few years now. At first I just had a thought, "Gee...it would be cool to run a marathon some day." Well, I have had lots of "Gee it would be cool to..." thoughts, but most of them don't come to fruition (Like my rhinocerous petting zoo idea). The ones that have come to fruition all started in the exact same way. I jumped.

I think we've all been there. Other instances of the jump for me have been :

Heather and I signing our mortgage papers

Leaving a stable position with AT&T wireless to become a consultant

Renovating our basement

Getting a motorcycle license

The jump is when you take that dream and ... well, you jump with it. You get out of the boat and walk on water. You take that crazy, adrenaline inducing, I don't know if I can pull this off step into the unknown. It at this time when, as my friend Jamie likes to say, I feel Fully Alive! (I always imagine Jamie writing an exclamation point after this particular statement.)

My most recent jump happened a couple nights ago, when I signed up for the Twin Cities Half Marathon. mtcmarathon.org I know, my goal is a full marathon, but this is a pretty big deal to me! So, I'm signed up, now I get to step out into the unknown world of training and eventually running the race! As my friend Jamin writes when he is excited, Weeeeeeee!

I hope anyone reading this blog jumps on at least a semi regular basis. It's good for us. We all need those Fully Alive! Weeeeeee! moments.  

Dan

'Tis the last season of the show 24

And I was about to declare, "I can't take anymore"

For watching Jack Bauer was a lot like watching my mom

He hugs people, wears a purse and doesn't seem strong

And the side plots reminded me of seasons of yore

Watching Kim run through woods because of some dumb bear's roar

So, as I said, I was about to let Jack rest in Heaven

When last night I saw episode number seven (yes, I'm very behind right now)

At the end of the hour a car drove into CTU

And it was filled with an EMP and the EMP totally blew

CTU was shut down, all agents went dark

No light was left, save for a faint spark

What is this light we happen to see? It's too faint for a candle, more like a gleam

What a gleam it is, cried I in surprise! And where does it come from? Jack Bauer's eyes!

Yes! I scream Jack's back!

That killer gleam in his eye means he's about to kick butt crack.

No more hugging, no more purses, drop the romance with that crazy chick and leave

And pick up your gun, hold the trigger, aim, squeeze!

I was sick last night. It lasted until today. I stayed in bed forever. And then got bored. So, I got up. I realized that I haven't practiced my keyboard in a long time. I pulled out my massive manual, which is like 400 pages or something, and decided to learn something new. Boy did I ever! I found out that I can play my guitar into my keyboard and then assign guitar stuff to keys. THEN I can put all these crazy keyboard effects on the guitar that I've recorded...way cool! THEN, I can split the keyboard up so that I'm playing my very own recorded guitar chords with my left hand and piano with my right! UTTER GEEKY KEYBOARD SWEETNESS! Maybe I can pull this off at church sometime. It'll totally be like we got a new musician!

I changed the oil and did maintenance on the Shadow (motorcycle) last night. I packed Bjorn up and took him to the Auto store to get oil. Got some double glances from the guys there. It felt weird to be a guy in an auto store, carrying a baby around. I got sort of pissed in a passive aggressive way. By the time I got to the oil aisle, I was thinking, "Why should I be self conscious of carrying my kid around the auto store? Screw that." By the time I got the checkout counter I was thinking, "I'm gonna bring my &*&# kid wherever I *&## want, and I'm a &*#R# man so *#$& all you auto *&# holes." By the time I got to the car, I was just thinking "*&*$^&*$*#$&*#*#*#&%&*%@*"  

Anyway, when we got home, I put Bjorn's hat and mittens on and took him out to the garage while I charged up the battery and changed the oil and filter in the Shadow. Growing up, I felt really self conscious because I didn't know how to do car stuff or sports stuff. Those are things that guys do. They play with balls and fix cars. I still don't know how to do those things, but I think I want Bjorn to see me trying at least. Who knows, maybe he'll pick it up, or at least not be scared to try.

Remembering how insecure I used to be about being manly, made me realize something. I'm pretty sure this is why I've always hoped that evangelicals are mis-interpreting the Bible when it comes to homosexuality. It could also explain lots of heated discussions I've been in where I tend to take the homosexual's side in debate. I think my bias stems from the fact that I didn't feel very manly while growing up. I mean, I never felt gay, but I didn't really feel like a man either. I hated feeling that way; walking around hoping no one would notice that I wasn't manly. Slinking away when a football made an appearance at a BBQ, etc. Now, I'm beginning to realize, that experience has shaped everything about me, including how I interpret the Bible. That led me to realize that we're all pretty messed up. Every theologian who has ever written anything, from Marcion to Martin Luther to John Piper has all the same types of biases I have. We're all responding to hurt and insecurities and who knows what. These things affect everything about us. In a sense, none of us is pure.  

For me this realization was a lot like the time I first realized my parents weren't perfect. What a mind-trip. You grow up thinking your parents know all the answers. Have it all figured out. Always do the right thing. Suddenly, you realize that isn't the case at all. They're just as messed up as you are. I guess the same can be said of all of us, theologians included.

So I was thinking all this stuff while working on my bike and my mind drifted to escaping Richfield on my hog and driving off in the sunset while chewing on cigars, only to return and sip Scotch around a fire with my hot wife at my side (I was proud to realize how manly all these thoughts were too!). That's when it hit me. I think the reason we humans get into stuff like motorcycles and scotch and music is because we feel the most pure when we're distracted. When we're in the zone of an amazing Scotch, or a musical pocket, or the rumble of our engine and breeze on our face...we finally feel pure. I think this is why some Christians get into high-octane revival services, while others get into apologetics, while others drink themselves silly, while still others throw themselves into their work 70 hours a week. For an instant, while we're distracted, we aren't responding to all the hurt and weirdness that we carry around like over packed luggage. For an instant, we feel pure. I think every human wants to feel pure. Free from baggage.

Can't wait for it to stop raining so I can ride my bike!

I watched the first 3 hours of 24 with Jamie, Gretchen, Redhead and Heather on Tuesday night. I gotta say, Jack is slowing down a bit. There was only one cool Jack Bauer moment in the entire 3 hours (although that one moment was pretty jaw dropping). Hopefully things will pick up.

Anyway, because of the 24 extravaganza, I only got about 4 hours of sleep before work the next day.  When I got home from work, I completely crashed on the couch. I woke up a few hours later and discovered Heather snuggled up on my right and Bjorn snuggled up on my left, both asleep.  It was one of the best family moments I've ever had. Heather shot this picture before joining in

This week Heather, Bjorn and I participated in an event hosted by Kids Against Hunger as an act of worship. It's an organization much like Feed My Starving Children, but it doesn't have the religious affiliation that FMSC does.

Anyway, we spent about 90 minutes packing up meals to be sent to Haiti and the experience was amazing. We were working alongside people from all over the Twin Cities with a shared goal of feeding people in a completely different country.

I would highly recommend participating in an event such as this one. I was able to do the work while holding Bjorn in a sort of backpack for babies contraption and I was working along side people of all ages, from 5th grade kids to retired folks. If you'd like to do something similar, click www.filltheirplate.org for more info.

As a final bit of news, our family acquired Vernice the sink! Our bathroom is now complete and Bernie and Vern seem to get along great! I took some pics, but I'll have to put them in my next post.

http://danhalvorsen.webs.com/videos/marissa.mp3

Hey Marissa, we do hope you stay, but in case you don't, here's something for you to remember us by

I hope each and every person reading this had lovely Christmas times! Heather and I drove up to Duluth on Wednesday night, in an attempt to miss the blizzard. Unfortunately, we didn't miss the blizzard and arrived in Duluth 5 1/2 hours later. On the fortunate side....we arrived in Duluth 5 1/2 hours later

Anyway, we had a blast. All of us were snowed in for 2 straight days. On Christmas night we decided to see if the world outside still existed, so we all packed up and attempted to walk around the block. Interesting to do when the snow is up to your waist. Heather and I packed Bjorn up in this sling-type deal that keeps him under your coat and that worked pretty well. It was snowing so hard you could barely see your hand in front of your face and it was magical!

The exciting news for me was, my sister gave my brother and I Romeo e Juliette Cigars for Christmas. David and I went out to smoke and I got ready to enjoy as much of it as I could before puking. I got to the very end and did not get sick!!!! Possible Christmas miracle! I was so excited, I decided to employ the scientific method! Hypothesis stated, time to test it! David and I swam through the waist-high snow to the nearest 24 hour gas station and purchased some cigar-like items called backwoods cigars. David and I smoked two in a row and I did not get sick! Christmas miracle hypothesis confirmed!

When I got back inside, it was time to make home-made eggnog. I make mine with whisky. Bjorn was being awfully quiet at this point. Just kind of hanging out with me and not demanding any of my attention. So, I'm beating the egg yolks, etc, and I'm pretty sure I caught Bjorn chugging down the bottle of whisky when I wasn't looking. He looks all innocent, but underneath he's a whisky-fiend. Beware.

We got back on Saturday night and Heather's mom stopped by. Since it was Heather's birthday, we ended up partying and eating more. Then, yesterday we did a Christmas tailgate party at Heather's dad's. This also turned into an eat-your face off event and I think I caught Bjorn in the liquor cabinet again. I really gotta keep an eye on this kid, especially come new year's eve!

I'm ready to eat nothing for a whole week. Except...Heather's mom's side of the family postponed their Christmas celebrations until tonight. So, as Ray Charles sings... heeeeeere we gooooooo again.

Last night, at 10:35 pm, after 3 trips to Menards and a visit from my friend Phil Yasger, the Halvorsen household added a new member. We now have a second toilet!

I am very fond of our newest family member and have named him Bernard (Bernie for short). Bernard is good natured and will be a very welcome addition to our family!

If that's not enough, Bernie will have a sister soon! Vernice the sink (Vern for short)  will be joining our family in the not too distant future!

I'll put pics of Bernie and Vern up as soon as I get some

Sunday evening, 5:35 pm. I’m usually at church right now, but this time I was in a hospital. Somehow, this hospital felt more holy than the local Methodist/Presbyterian/insert denomination building. A nurse holds my son up to the light. He’s covered in blood and looks so fragile. I wonder how he survived the terrors of the birthing process being so small. He’s not crying. He’s using his lungs for the first time. Feeling air on his skin for the first time. Hearing without water in his ears for the first time. He’s looking at all of us with wide-eyed wonder and it begins to sink in. His health and well being is my responsibility.

My son had just been born and I looked at him and waited for it. I suppose the “it” I was waiting for was the amazing rush of awe, delight, and overwhelming love that I had been sure would pummel me to my knees as I held my son for the first time. Yes, I felt awe. No, I wasn’t pummeled to my knees.

I began to get this nagging sense of “what’s wrong with me?” Heather has often told me that I’m unhealthily distrustful of all things emotional. Perhaps she was right? Would I be able to love this little guy as he needs?

Sunday evening, 5:35pm. 4 weeks later. I’m at church and grabbing my guitar. I look over at my son. He’s being held by Marissa and is a little fussy. I’m not so concerned anymore. I’ve learned that I just take a little time to warm up. With every passing day I love my son more. I’m proud of him, I support him, I love him in the way that I was created to.

Go on Bjorn, grow and be beautiful.

To me, a happy home is one filled with friends. Today, we had such a home. We started the morning by going to Heather's grandma's house to introduce her newest great-grandson!

It was here that we realized who Bjorn looks like. Bjorn is on the right and both pictures on the left are of Heather at 2 weeks old. Yeah, Heather is definitely a poser. 

Then, we went to Heather's grandparents on her dad's side to do some more visiting. Man, Bjorn is one loved kid.

Then, Amy, Becca and Olivia Cradle stopped by and brought us an incredible dinner!

Later, Jamin and Jayneen came over for a wine&cheese tasting/movie watching extravaganza. 3 bottles of wine were proudly opened, two of which I purchased more than a year ago for just this occasion and the remaining had been stored by Jamin for over a year as well.

Heather pumped a bunch of baby food in advance so she could join in and it was fantastic! While we were getting started, Dan, Heidi, Anna and Evelyn stopped by to say hi. It was great to see Anna and Evelyn (Who gave me plenty of "The Evelyn." "The Evelyn" is a look I see her doing all the time. It's sort of a, "Go ahead and see if I care" kind of look and it melts my heart every time I see it.)

As all this was going down, I kept thinking, "Blessed is the home filled with happiness." We are certainly blessed. 

Bjorn was zonked out for most of the evening, but woke up every couple hours to remind us he was hungry. Then, he'd eat and zonk out again. Welcome to our home and family, son!