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| Some of Dan's most memorable quotes |
Dan:"Where's the trifle? Oh yes, it's ON YOUR HEAD! Where's the lemon meringue pie, oh it's on your breasts!"
Emma: "You can lick it off if you want!"
(To Marco and Emma about their foodfight)
"My God darling, compared to you MacBeth was a breeze!"
(To Jay regarding his moodiness)
"That doesn't smell very gay, does it?"
(About his sweatiness on the rowing machine)
"I think you may be discriminated against because of your big mouth."
(To Kitten)
"I can't believe I look gayer in this uniform than Nadia!"
(About the army uniform during the Boot Camp task)
"Anyone who steps on that is gonna go down faster than a granny on a frosty morning!"
(Re. the slippy walkway after Emma and Ahmed's foodfight)
"I like this task - I have to call Jason "Sir"!"
(About Jason being a sergeant in the Boot Camp task)
"I don't agree with people getting their imperfections ironed out.
If you look like you've been hit by the back of a shovel, then fair
enough."
(After Jay reveals he's had a nose job)
"Ahmed, Marco doesn't want your com...forting."
(Presumably after a row between Ahmed and Marco)
Nadia: "OWWW!"
Dan: "Well, what do you expect, using your cleavage as an ashtray?"
(When Nadia spills ciggie ash down her top)
"You don't interrupt a gangster when he's having a s**t!"
(About Emma barging in on Victor in the toilet)
"I wouldn't think twice about putting a pillow over your face, darling."
(To Jay, regarding his miserable mood)
Victor: "Why don't you throw yourself in the jacuzzi?"
Dan: "Because it would bleach my suit!"
(During Victor's rant after his argument with Shell on their "wedding")
"If he was any further back in the closet, he'd be in f*****g Narnia!"
(About Jay protesting he's 100% straight)
"We're not bothered about the money, when are you gonna f*****g realise that?"
(After BB announces they've lost money by losing the nettle task)
"I saw myself on the big screen and thought "God, I look awful!". Then I realised it was Davina McCall"
(About seeing himself on the opening night)
"A fine pair of globes"
(Dan compliments Jay's butt - I have to agree with him, it WAS impressive!)
Dan: "Have you got your knickers on?"
Jay: *grumpily* "No"
Dan: "Well keep your legs shut, then"
(As Dan leads Jay over to apologise to Nadia)
"Any more colour in here and it'll be like Bala-f*****g-mory!"
(Dan on the colour in the room)
"Any more relaxed and he'd be dead!"
(Regarding Ahmed)
Emma: "I don't like playing [mind] games"
Dan: "Then what are you doing in here?"
Marco: "Why do you think they put me in here?"
Dan: "Because you're light entertainment"
"He's like a pensioner on a day trip"
(Nominating Ahmed)
"Well it's her hairy palms, isn't it...and her laugh...it's enough to send a deaf mute running for cover"
(Dan's reason for nominating Nadia during the first week)
"Is it just me, or is there a smell of manure in the air tonight?"
(After the Jungle Cats try and get Dan to join them)
"If I was any more laid back I'd be...Stuart"
(Telling BB how tired he was)
"It's just gonna be more of the same. I'm gonna have to start doing things to amuse myself - like annoying people!"
(During an eviction day, telling Victor what he's gonna do if he stays)
Shell: "Do you want me to run your bath for you?"
Dan (to Vanessa): It's 'cause she nominated me and she's trying to make up for it"
(On the same eviction day)
Stu: "I want to be a footballer's wife"
Dan: "I don't think them nail extensions would suit you"
"What the f**k's going on with that quiff, look at it from the side. You look like Alice In Wonderland with a beard!"
(To Stu, about his hairstyle)
"Don't bring your wacky sense of humour this way"
(After Ahmed teases Dan about his moth phobia)
"Me'n 'im are going to be having words when we get out of this place"
(To Becki, regarding Jay)
*Sigh* "He's just lost all of his gay fans"
(On seeing Stu's hairless legs)
BB: "How are you feeling today, Daniel?"
Dan: "Well the weather's not helping! Can I order some sunshine please, Big Brother?"
(About the horrible weather one day)
"Even dressed as a cow she looks glamorous"
(About Nadia)
"I'm nominating Victor because his grammar is crap! 'E ends every sentence with 'innit', innit?"
(During nominations)
"You only wanted two reasons. Chicken nuggets; annoying grammar. That's it. Apart from that, e's sound"
(The two reasons for Dan nominating Victor)
BB: "Daniel, would you please stop swinging your legs"
Dan: "I want to go to the toilet"
"The nearest I've ever come to a formal warning is to glue my egg to my spoon in the egg and spoon race"
(After receiving his first - and only - formal warning)
"You don't use a pouffy pedestal glass, do you, Ahmed?"
(Dan gets irritated by Ahmed's stance on homosexuality and constant s**t-stirring)
"This is Heathrow for moths. This is Moth Mecca"
(On the amount of moths that visit the BB house)
"It's like trying to find a cherry in a blancmange"
(After licking jam off Nadia's breast on "Jam Night")
Dan: "Where did you get that - Bon Marche?"
Nadia: "What are you talking about, dahling - I wear LaCroix"
Dan: "You mean Le Creuset. The only label you wear is 'Drip Dry'"
(Another friendly bitching session with Nadia)
Nadia: "I've always wanted to be on the Shopping Channel"
Dan: "Well, you're orange enough"
BB: "How are you today, Daniel?"
Dan: "Why are you calling me Daniel?"
BB: "Because your name is Daniel, Daniel"
(I always got annoyed with BB for this too!)
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