How to blow into the cartridge:
It's amazing what magical things you stumble upon when you enter "But our princess is in another castle" into Yahoo. One such wonder is a site called 8-bit Peoples, which showcases a range of classic-video-games-inspired art and music. One of the galleries shows photos taken around New York, with colourful goombas and pipes littered over the top, while one of the bands featured is the Argentinian Coleco Music, who make 8-bit pop with titles like 'She Appears to Be Offline' and 'Please Add Me'. Wonderful.
Saturday, 3rd March 2007
How to play Duke Special's 'Portrait' on piano:
Last night I had a lovely three hours to myself in the music room on campus. I played the drums and attempted to play the piano, and apparently my technique with the latter is bad enough for my hand to cramp the following morning. But when I was giving the keys back to the security guard after I was done, he complimented me on my musicianship. It made me very happy, because I like being told I'm good at stuff, and I bought a Yorkie in celebration.
Tuesday, 27th February 2007
How to 'Myach' (it's a verb...):
Oh my lord. Much to tell, so let's start at a logical place: breakfast. I've been recently unbalancing my entire day's dietary intake by massively overendulging before 9am, and engaging in some sort of fast until dinnertime. Now, two meals a day probably has its advantages - although I can't quite work them out - but for some reason such disjointed eating habits remind me of cows. Apparently, they've got the right idea by grazing all day long, and then sleeping. I'm not trying to claim that we should all do this because of laziness; it's science and that.
Anyway, next thing. I went to visit my Dad this week, and found myself desperately searching through my childhood possessions (fuelled by boredom) only to come across a 5-year old Myachi. For the uninitiated, this is basically a long, thin hackey-sack for your hands with which you perform 'tricks' - go to the site. I started to practise mine, and I'm sorry to say that it is now amongst the regular inhabitants of my bag; sorry because people who play with these things look retarded when they are doing it. Youtube provides ample confirmation of this. And I'm not saying anything critical; I'm one of you now.
Next: I just watched 'Everything is Illuminated' - part of my whole DVD expansion scheme thingy - and I have to say it's ruddy good, not least because of a completely random Gogol Bordello cameo. It was recommended to me by Amazon because I bought 'Thumbsucker', but I don't know how it came to that obscure conclusion because they have absolutely naff-all to do with each other. Anyway, I started thinking about how I should use Amazon to make all of my decisions for me; it seems to be programmed to get me in a way that no human can. After all, what rational being would be capable of advising me on future purchases without letting even the slightest amount of subjectivity skew their ponderings? Quite.
Saturday, 24th February 2007
How to mix eggs and alcohol:
When it's someone you know's birthday on or around Shrove Tuesday, why waste the opportunity to have a 'Beer and Pancake' party? There's no good answer to that question. Consequently, I went to one such celebration of over-indulgence last night, and had a lot of fun. So when next year rolls around, I might just pike the idea and take it to Amsterdam.
In other news, I started writing the script to the film I want to do (I'm as surprised as you), and when I was explaining the story to someone, it actually didn't sound as trite as I thought it might. That rhyme was an accident. Without wanting to give too much away in case someone else has a more potent idea from the same basic concept, it revolves around a group of creative types who don't know each other...WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES. No, that last bit isn't true. Anyway, I've started making sketches of specific shots and writing scenes down in my little notebook. I'm quite excited about the whole thing
Finally today, a teasing question: why is my mp3 player extraordinarily picky about the mp3s I'm able to put on it? It won't ever let me put on very specific tracks like The Zombies' 'Time of the Season' and Shed 7's 'Speakeasy', as if it's rejecting them. This means I can't have complete albums, which isn't good for my OCD at all.
Wednesday, 21st February 2007
How to inspire a generation of film students:
After getting bored of my essay yesterday afternoon, I decided I needed to get some fresh air (French for 'procrastinate') and I took a long walk to the shop to buy some DVDs. I had a hankering to see 'The Royal Tenenbaums' again, and felt that such an amazing movie would be a great start to invigorating my film collection. As a film student, I should, after all, pride myself of having great taste in films. Incidentally, I don't pride myself on this in the least bit, but a dull Sunday afternoon seemed to be as good a time as any to start.
So I bought 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and 'Little Miss Sunshine', two suitably visually-appealing films to eat Ben & Jerry's to, and came back home. The thing about both of these films, which is something that always makes me like a film, is that they look FIT - as an example, on my course last year I watched an Iranian film called 'Blackboards', which looked stunning; I can't remember the plot at all, and I'm sure I got bored of it, but in retrospect I like it purely because the film just looked so damn good. Anyway, throughout watching my two new DVDs, I had an unquenchable urge to become a director. There's something about the entire mise-en-scčne (excuse me for getting all 'filmy') which just inspired me. Ohh, and the soundtracks...yum.
A day later, I've gone off the whole directing idea. I hate that about myself.
Monday, 19th February 2007
How to exploit the stuff I'm supposed to do:
Weeey!! This site has gone over the 200 hits mark. You'll note that I'm obviously giving more attention to the popularity of 'Cute Kids' than partaking in any actual contribution, but there you go.
I just got back from playing the drums with The Fish Stephens Band at another semi-successful gig, and my ears hurt. Not from the drumming (don't be stupid), but because walking through empty Canterbury in the middle of the night merits turning my mp3 player way up and singing along as loudly as I can. And if the Get Up Kids are playing, then all the better.
There is also some bad news though, I'm afraid. It's not really bad news, so I'm not sure why I typed that; it's more the sort of 'news' which tends to make me feel slightly bad. My life isn't what you might call an emotional rollercoaster, you see. It's incredibly mediocre and my mood rarely deviates more than 'a little' from the norm, be it positively or negatively. But this is all a tangeant: I'm in a slightly-worse-than-usual mood because there's only one thing left to do before I really ought to crack on with my essay, and that thing is sleep. Up until a few hours ago, there were several things I needed to concentrate on before I even had to think about my essay, including playing a WHOLE gig well to PEOPLE. Now that's gone, I literally just need to fade out of conciousness until 8am tomorrow, and that hardly takes much thought-power. Does anyone else segregate the day into tiny little tasks which need to be accomplished in order to distract themselves from something more significant at hand, or am I the only one? No? Just me? Why does it feel like that's something a madman in denial might do...?
On a similar thought, I also had a long, in-depth conversation with Ned about how neither of us, and hence no-one in the world, knows what they want to do with their lives. Fun, ol' fun.
Saturday, 17th February 2007
How to carve a niche on the interweb:
I'd just like to say thanks to the unknown people who are apparently visiting this website! 187 hits isn't bad at all, considering the only two places this site is advertised, as far as I'm aware, are Fabulist.org and my Facebook.
I've been concentrating on work recently, and I'm more excited than ever to be going to Amsterdam next year. I was also magnificently unwell on Wednesday after the night before, vowing never to drink again until...lunchtime (little 'Spaced' reference for ya there).
Anyway, another thought: a few days ago, the Spanish word for the day on dictionary.com (of which I am a regular frequenter) was 'náhuatl', which is apparently the most widely spoken indigenous language in Central America, still spoken by some million number of people even today. Language in general fascinates me - my European Film Arts course has recently allowed me to conclude that I adore foreign-language films, or as the BAFTAs rather verbosely put the term recently, 'Film Not in the English Language' - and I was amazed to discover that Amazon offers quite a few náhuatl phrase and grammar books. I put one straight on my wishlist.
Other things on my wishlist, in case you're interested, include a Gogol Bordello CD, a Spanish edition of 'Abel Sanchez', the new Apples in Stereo album, and 'A Guide to the Various Camping Conversions and Interior Layouts Used for VW Campers 1951-2005'. I'm a strange (and yet sexily multi-faceted) lad.
Friday, 16th February 2007
How to know the meaning of life:
Just one thing today: a song I made a few weeks ago called 'The Meaning of Life'. It's not as deep and meaningful as one might suppose. Enjoy!
MP3: Cute Kids Don't Sell Records - 'The Meaning of Life'
Saturday, 10th February 2007
How to regress:
It snowed yesterday. I mention it because it's so rare for this country to get so unanimously excited over something. The only thing the radio talked about in the morning (and indeed, the evening) was the 'torrential weather conditions' of the day.
But far from criticising, I'd like to mentions how pleasant it was. Enagaging in violent, vicious snowball fights with complete randomers, and being one of many to take off wet shoes and socks in lectures are not things which can take place every day. If I hadn't lost my camera just last week, I'd have taken a picture of the wonderful sight of imperfect snowmen, 3 feet wide snowballs, and people rolling on the ground, all scattered across the hill on campus. It's funny how what is basically frozen water makes people (well...students) behave like tiny children. It's fantastic!
Today, though, I look out of my window and it's all gone. Aside from a few patches of mucky frost, there is no evidence that yesterday even happened. While that's a shame, it's nice how no-one will mention it on the radio today; life goes on. The whole thing is real evidence that everything is all about the moment.
Friday, 9th February 2007
How to become dependent on technology:
I lost my camera last week. Although I looked for it, and filled out various lost property forms and such, I made peace with the fact that it probably wouldn't resurface. Even despite the fact that I used it quite regularly, I didn't think I'd miss it very much. It was old, after all, and it had given me years of valuable service, photographing my bands, nights out, holidays, arty things that looked cool, etc...
In the weeks before I lost it, I found myself wanting a video camera. I'd even started to save, so I obviously had something in mind. I promised myself that if I got a video camera, I would make the most of it; I wouldn't hang around and video tape the same old things I see everyday. Rather, I'd go on spontaneous trips to London (or Scotland), and record things with meaning, which I could then arrange and archive for future reference. These are the exact same things I then started to regret not having done when my camera disappeared, and the thoughts I probably had in the build-up to getting a camera in the first place, several years ago. I never did go to Scotland to photograph stunning views and scenery. Come to think of it, even though I went to London several times with my camera, I didn't once just stand in middle of a bustling street, and photograph everyone hurrying by (ooh, ooh, on a long exposure; blurs emphasise rush). That's one of the photos I'd really like to have.
So it turns out that losing my camera was a hidden blessing; I potentially saved hundreds of pounds by realising that I don't really want a video camera at all. On the other hand - and I'll try to avoid being too melodramatic here - I now have no way to document my life. Is it a coincidence that I felt motivated to start updating this site again once this all happened? Who's to know...
Tuesday, 6th February 2007
How to decide your future at the hands of an internet poll:
Partway through last term, I decided that going to Spain for the third year of my university course wasn't what I wanted to do. I would have loved to continue studying the language, but going abroad to study film theory entirely in Spanish seems to be a daunting task. I found out that there was another option: I could go to Amsterdam instead. I'd be studying in English, but I'd have to drop Spanish. I regretted it as soon as I made the final decision, owing to my relentlessly indecisive nature, but since Christmas I've been persuaded by various people and myself that it is the best thing for me.
Anyway, this morning I received an email from the university's European Office, the gist of which explained that I was all set to go next September. Now, I'm actually thrilled at the prospect. So, with this all being the furthest from my mind, I took one of those internet quizzes, and this is the fortunate result. (I love the romanticism of the phrasing; that I belong in Amsterdam. Lovely.)
Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist,
Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city).
What European City Do You Belong In?
MP3: Guster - 'Amsterdam'
Sunday, 4th February 2007
How to feel old:
I saw this comic today on xkcd.com, and it filled me with a strange nostalgia. Without wishing to get too melodramatic, I can't believe it's 2007 already. Toy Story came out TWELVE years ago...
Friday, 2nd February 2007
How to tag-team wrestle iTunes:
When I was helping out at the Rutherford Battle of the Wings during Freshers' Week 2006, I somehow managed to find myself in control of the laptop which was hooked up to the PA, providing the music. I touched an arrow key to browse through the library, and the music abruptly stopped, before the track proceeded to skip back to its start again. Everyone in the room, who had been enjoying a decent song, suddently turned to look at the retard who'd smegged up the entertainment. Consequently, I find myself of the opinion that iTunes is gay (and don't get me started on Apple's pretention of putting a lower case 'i' at the start of all of their products).
Recently, I pulled the exact same stunt at a party. You see, I'm used to Winamp. I've used its various incarnations for years. It's reliable, can do more, has SENSIBLE 'hotkeys', and actually sounds better (say what you like; I don't think iPods and iTunes even sound that good).
The point is, today I found out that my Creative Zen mp3 player can be syncronised through Winamp, eliminating the need for the clumsy and slow software that came with the Zen. Besides this, I LOVE it when stuff can do more than is expected of it. The most recent version of Winamp can browse the internet; beat-mix mp3s according to tempo, rating, mood and genre; be personalised with visualisations and skins; and has no room for pointless 'party mixes'. All I need now is for the 6th version of Winamp to write Film essays and I'll be in business.
Monday, 22nd January 2007
How to join the...wait, what century are we in?:
So today I decided to treat myself, and bought a snazzy new mobile phone. Now, ordinarily I'm opposed to the whole concept of buying stuff one doesn't need, and there's nothing *fundamentally* wrong with the phone I was previously using, save for its 'old skool' status (a kind way of declaring its technological redundancy), but the one I got to replace it IS quite cool.
But the decisions are where they get you; for example, do I want my calls to announce themselves proudly with Mr. Pedro's remix of 'Please Don't Talk to Me I Fall in Love So Easily', or am I more of a laid-back, 'LDN' kinda guy? What ringtone DEFINES me? Oooh, and all the screensavers I could have... Excitement.
Oh, for the record, people who work in mobile phone shops (generally speaking) are utter leeches. But you probably knew that already.
Sunday, 14th January 2007
How to quote obvious lyrics:
"January 1st and it's already clear.
It's gonna be another shitty year."
(Sorry; I couldn't resist.)