Okay, so I was flicking through several abusive emails, and it hit me! I haven't taught you about all the creatorian leaders! I actually felt like it was a fall on my behalf. So, in total sincerity, I apologise to all the egolistic pigheaded Creatorian Leaders out there. I hope you can find it in your mechanical heart to forgive me.

 

TODAY'S STORY ON EGOLISTIC PIGHEADS-

 

John Logsdon

AKA douchebag, dyson vaccum head, sillybilly, cunt... with an emphasived 'U', or piglet. He touchingly refers to me as retard.

 

My personal knowledge of John Logsdon is very small. Ofcourse, retards often do have rather small portions of knowledge. However, I did meet him on one occation, back in the days of my own creatorian schooling, and it is a rather mortifying story.

My class had been studying the Creator Bible for several milliseconds, and I was getting restless.  It seemed we had been talking about Creative finger painting forever, and I wanted to talk about something else.  It didn't help that Vala was throwing shopping carts at me just to be annoying.

When Mr. De Klerk stepped into the hallway to have a conference with our principal, Mr. Hitler, I seized the opportunity to use my well-thought out insults.

"Vala, thou saucy, muddy-mottled giant-dwarf, leave me alone!"

My classmates laughed and I showed them the Creatorian insult paper I'd found in the doghouse last night.  Soon we were having a great time squealing creatorian insults.

Everyone laughed when Vala called me a naughty, prick-eared fat knight.

"You think you're so clever, thou babbling, guts-griping fat-belly!" I retorted.

Instead of laughing, everyone gasped.

I turned and saw John Logsdon standing at the front of the room, tapping one rather fat foot impatiently, waiting for my explanation.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean you," I said, and buried my head in my hands.

Now I'm very careful about using my creatorian insults... sometimes they can be true!