Darkness fell over the room, enveloping the silence even further as the only source of motion came from a far corner. The source giving also only a slight amount of light, and a repetitive clicking noise.

Staring at the flame, almost hypnotised, he watched as it slowly flicked off, repeating the flicking action of his wrist as he clicked the lighter to ignite again. In his other hand he held a cigarette, unlight as the white contrasted against the dark shadow that crossed his fingers. but he had no intention of lighting the cigarette.

‘it’s killing you,’

The words she had always told him, had finally had an affect on him. Whether it was to please her, to impress her that he could stop something, or if it was because he was actually starting to believe what she was saying, he wasn’t sure of.

Flicking the lighter again, he watched the orange flame as it burned, danced along the top of the object. Closing his eyes he let the image fade away as he let it die out.

Sighing contentedly, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his head on her shoulder as they watched the sunset over the beach. “,”

Just her tone made him feel uncertain.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing,” she murmured, obviously deciding against what she was going to say.

“Tell me,” He spun her around slowly, their chests touching as he lifted her head, gazing into her eyes.

“I got in,” She smiled weakly, “I’m leaving next week,”

Blinking open his eyes, he stared at the spot where the flame had once been, placing the lighter on the table beside him as he finally stood up, stretching his muscles that had been stationary for so long. Slowly he made his path up to his bedroom, passing hers along the way. Usually he would stop, peek open the door, check if she was alright. But now the room was empty, and she was gone.

“That’s fantastic news,” He knew his smile and tone came out forced.

But this was what she had wanted for so long, her entire life had worked towards this moment.

And now she had been given the chance to dance with the best.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes fell on a picture, her and the rest of the band. One of her arms was wrapped around ’s neck, but her other hand was tightly clamped around his own. He missed her. There was no denying that.

Everyday he missed her. Missed hearing her laughter fill their house, missed her hugs when he’d get home from work. And everday he had to live knowing she wasn’t there.

If only he had told her, begged her to stay, let her know that he couldn’t do anything if she wasn’t by his side. If only he hadn’t left it too late.

The other guys had tried to help, tried to get him out and about. But all he had wanted to do was stay confined to the four walls of his house, where the familiarity of her still lingered. Where he could pretend the four months without her hadn’t happened and she was simply in her room.

***

Yawning as she stepped out of the terminal, she glanced around, searching for taxi, as she dragged her luggage along with her. It was late, too late for her to call any one, she would have to settle for a taxi.

Finding one, she tiredly gave the driver her address, watching the streets of the city as they passed, slowly waking herself up as she wondered if she was still doing the right thing.

“I got in,” She smiled, “I leave next week,”

She bit her lip as she watched his face fall, before it was replaced with a smile, “That’s fantastic news,”

Tell me to stay, tell me you don’t want me to go she silently begged him, I’ll stay, just say the word, she smiled back at him as she felt his arms drop from her around, coldness instantly flowing over her body even though the night was warm.

“,”

“Yeah,” He smiled again, but she noticed the slight frown that formed along his eyes.

“I want this don’t i?”

“Of course you do ,” He squeezed her hand, “This is your dream,”

it was my dream, she frowned.

“Dreams can change,” She whispered not loud enough for him to hear as he hugged her.

Giving the driver some money, she pulled her bags to the door, pausing as she hovered over the key hole with the key. Slotting the key into the lock, she listened to the clicking noise as it opened, her eyes adjusting to the dark light that filled the hallway.

Sitting in the dark lounge, she looked around. This wasn’t home. This was just a placed she stayed in. Home was with , however much she tried to deny it. He had wanted this for her, urged her to leave, to follow her dream. She often wondered if he knew what her real dream was if he would be as supportive. She doubted it, he was simply her best friend, that was it.

“Your gonna be great,” smiled warmly at her as they stood in the airport, “I’ll probably see you in the next Christina video clip,”

“Yeah,” She smiled distractedly.

“I love you ,” He told her seriously now, hugging her tightly.

“Love you too Harry,” Her voice wavered slightly as she kissed his lips lightly.

Letting go of him, she quickly turned to the boarding desk, leaving him to watch the shorter girl leave.

Sighing, he turned in his bed staring at the ceiling as he remembered their goodbye. He wish he could have lived that moment forever. Or told her he really loved her, not just the friendship way she had thought.

But mostly he wished he had of kissed her back, properly.

He couldn’t get over her, there was no way, not now he knew how she tasted.
He couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told her to stay, that he hadn’t said she was a part of him, that he needed her.

If only she had answered his calls, he could have told her he wanted her, he needed her, he missed her.
He would have given his all just to have her, to hold her.
He’d even fight to give a relationship a go in that very moment, he’d give her forever if he knew she would give it back.

Blinking back his tears he rolled over in his bed, moving his eyes from the ceiling to the wall that separated the two bedrooms, his thoughts being interrupted by his mobile beeping.

The screen lighting up the room slightly, he sat up in the bed as his best friends name filled the screen.

I miss you. Xx