Ahab

As many devoted fans may, or may not know the story of Captain Ahab Stoddart is A long and arduous one. However, it is a tale that simply must be told.

Ahab began life as a lowly fismonger working in a small seaside branch of waitrose. Under the unlikley name of Mike.

However, this was simply not good enough for our hero, his quarry was bigger, much, much bigger.

In a childs book he once found, he read a tale. A tale of love and adventure. An adventure only he could lead. And so, on that fateful evening of July 2nd 2005 he set sail, across the seven seas of love for the far off island of Newquay.

In his book, he read tales of a fish. A huge fish. A great fish, the gigatic sperm whale of South Cornwall, or to the locals- THE GREAT WHITE WHALE.

He persued his quarry with relentless persistence, and with the help of Admiral George Hill, Commander Stuart Glover and Cabin Boy Wheally, they tracked down the illusive beast.

Persuing her to a log cabin near the shores of no return. Ahab showed her no mercy. And Unmentionable deeds were dode.

Unfortunately there is no such evidnece the entire event..... or so Ahab thought.

9 nautical months later, the great white whale spawned an offspring. A beast known only as the anti-mermaid, a beast almost as horrible as its parents. A beast that few have seen, and even fewer having lived to recall the event. Now the tale has been told, and the truth is available for all to see, here is a picture of Commander Glover wankered.

Poll