The stride gum conspie!!
Have you ever bought stride gum??? Have you ever noticed that it is odly long lansting??? We know why. It is trying to get you away from 5 gum! They are brainwashing you with their long lasting flavor, so that you will not spit it out, until it is gross and flavorless, which takes days to happen.
The six-flags old guy conspie!!
Have you ever noticed that that old six flags dude's dance is strangley hippnotic? (theres even a commercial with everyone following him.) That's because they want you to go to six flags, once they have a enough money they are planning to bribe the president, and take over the world!!!
The Wikipedia conspie!!
Wikipedia is an online encyclopedia that YOU can add to. But... Many of the documents are not true. The innocent Wikipedia users are being stuffed with artificial intellegence fed to them by the people who work for Wikipedia. The workers make up everything that they put on the website. Did you know that a small part of swamp land in Louisiana is under attack by martians? Probably not. The workers for Wiki know that, and they are not telling us that. All they are saying is to buy stock in that swamp land, because it will be a hot spot in a few years. Why are they doing this to us? Becauses they are trying to destroy the world by telling us these lies! When the martians are done with that piece of land, they will come for the rest of the world!
The Elmo Conspie!!
Have you ever seen this video?
The problem was not a defective battery, that elmo was just ahead of schedule. Soon all of the elmo's in the world will start trying to kill their owners.
The Amy Dixon conspie!!
Amy Dixon is a workout TV trainer. If you have ever seen her teach a workout, you would of noticed her uncanny resemblance of a spider. YOU may have just shrugged and got on with your life, but we put some reaserch into it, and we found out that she actually is a spider. Then why is she teaching workouts on the telly? If you do her workouts daily, you will be stretched and twisted in ways that will... yes... turn you into one too.
Santa Or Satan conspie!!
Have you ever noticed that Santa is an anagram for Satan? That is probably because Santa is actually Satan in disguise. I mean, what's with all the red? And have you ever noticed that he never takes off his hat? That is where his horns are hiding. And the potbelly is is his tail wrapped around his stomach. The Bible talks about Satan ruling from the sky, Satan also preys on the weak and young. Remind you of someone you know?
The Cheese Conspie!
This one is kinda sad and complicated... You have had stinky cheese before, right? After eating the cheese, your breath smelled awful, correct? Well, we have an explanation for BOTH of those. The cheese-makers (who are martians) are trying to destroy you by feeding you the delicious (and stinky) specimen! After you eat the cheese, the process starts to work. Your breath will start to stink awfully, from the odorous cheese. Nobody will want to be around you, because of the stink. You may not notice it, but THEY do. You will get addicted to the tasty specimen, and your so-called "friends" will not want to be around stinky ol' you. You will become totally isolated, and go crazy because of lonliness.
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The Earwax Conspie
People have probably told that earwax helps your ears, that's not true. Earwax is actually put in your ears by the U.S goverment to try and keep you from trying to assassinate the president.
The fortune cookie conspie!
Fortune cookies: fun and innocent sweets... or so you thought... Reccently, people have been getting foutunes such as "From the same people holding the prisoner?" and "Help! I am being help prisoner in a Chinese bakery!" The ONLY way to explain this phenomenon is that there are hypnotized cows being held prisoner in the bakery, and sometimes they manage to write a message to the outside world, in the form of a fortune cookie.
The girl scouts are attempting to rule the world, They Pack those Girl Scout Cookies with their secret potion for making hypnotizing people!!! STOP EATING THOSE COOKIES!!!