Colbert National Guard

The following page was created by "DaTkIdWiTdAfAcE"

These entries are straight from the heroes at http://www.colboard.com .

I picked out the PG or milder entires, and made: 

The Colbert National Guard's Unofficial Colbanglish Dictionary

 

 

Word: Colbeality
Definition: The belief that everything Stephen Colbert says is reality
Usage: The Colbeality of the situation is that Jesus will come back, and he'll come back soon

Word: Colbevotion
Definition: The mindless following of Stephen Colbert. Usually leads to Colbeality
Usage: I have so much Colbevotion that I would follow Stephen down a slide that led to acid

Word: Colbalent
Definition: A special talent that is considered Colbastic by Stephen Colbert.
Usage: All of us are Colbalented in our own ways, except Liberals

Word: Colbash
Definition: To be insulted or strongly disagreed to the point of crying
Usage: She really did get Colbashed by that guy

Word: Colbate
Definition: The toothpaste that all Colbinistas use. it is made of pure truthiness.
Usage: I use Colbate to brush my teeth clean of lies

Word: Colb
Definition: To hold something in high esteem. Or something having the quality of being popular, well liked or well groomed
Usage: "The Republican National Convention was soooo Colb"

Word: Colblackout
Definition: A lack of electric power punctuated by unreasonable panic, violence or love making
Usage: "The power's out, fetch me my Magnum and we'll make it a Colblackout." "The condom or the gun?" "Just to be safe, grab one of each."

Word: Colbungle
Definition: Where Stephen either deliberately or accidentally bungles his lines or misses a cue off the autocue
Usage: If Stephen is going to colbungle his lines it will be at the start of the show more often than not

Word: Colberican
Definition: Synonymous with Colbcitizen
Usage: I saw a Colberican the other day

Word: Colbatant
Definition: Somebody who fights, or has a flame war, with anybody speaking harshly about Stephen Colbert or his show
Usage: That Colbatant really nailed us, didn't he/she?

Colblurb
Definition: Showing props for Stephen's supporters
Usage: "Tonight Stephen made a Colblurb about Colbert Nation during the show" "Earlier he colblurbed about some of the fans of his show"

Colbraniac
Definition: Someone well in tune with the Colbert
Usage: "That woman is a Colbraniac! She even knows his shoe size!! - oh wait..thats his wife!"

Word: Colbond
Definition: The inevitable and uniting force that members of the Colbert Nation experience due to their love of truthiness and Stephen Colbert
Usage: "Fellow members of the Nation, our colbond shall never be broken! Not even by bears!"

Word: Colberitis
Definition: A highly contagious, yet awesome, syndrome that makes people love, adore, and sometimes worship Stephen Colbert
Usage: "I was not able to watch the other shows on my television set, due to my severe colberitis, while Stephen Colbert was doing "The Report."

Word: Colbrush
Definition: The commercial time during an episode of the Colbert Report, during which you realise that you have forgotten something, or have to use the toilet, and are rushing through your house as fast as possible to get back to the show on time, urges for a Colbrush may be connected to people with a severe case of Colberitis
Usage: Last night there was Colbrush, I was scrambling around my apartment, I managed to kill the cat, my child, and break a giant glass window, but I don't care! I got back on time!

Word: CVR (Colbert Video Recording)
Definition: To record daily episodes of The Report and/or share video clips with others, as to spread the Truthiness
Usage: "Sorry, I don't have any space left on my DVR or TiVo, since I've been using CVR for the past month"

Word: Colbocracy
Definition: A system of government ruled by the Great Stephen Colbert
Usage: "The ColbertNation is a colbocracy, as every nation on earth should be."

Colbliterated
Definition: When Stephen beats the competition (be it his guest, another show etc etc)
Usage: Stephens coverage of the war Colbliterated the Nightly News!

Word: Colblivious
Definition: Someone who (shamefully) does not know of the brilliance of Stephen Colbert
Usage: When I wore my "Thank You Stephen Colbert" t-shirt, some of my colleagues were Colblivious!

Word: Colberia
Definition: The outside world, beyond the boundary of the ColbertNation
Usage: "Colberia is a wilderness, nobody understands why I am constantly talking about Stephen Colbert. they don't even know who he is."

Word: Colsomnia
Definition: The inability to fall asleep before 2:00 AM due to the repeat airing of The Colbert Report at 1:30 AM Monday-Thursday
Usage: Due to my colsomnia, I frequently fall asleep at work

Word: Colboycott
Definition: The act of a Colbert approved or induced boycott
Usage: Kix cereal may just face a Colboycott

Word: Colbesque
Definition: Something resembling the truthiness of Stephen himself
Usage: The way he gave that speech was very Colbesque

Word: Colbexican
Definition: A mexican that has gained enough prestigue in the eyes of our leader Stephen Colbert, that he has been given the wonderous gift of being an American Citizen
Usage: if Antonio Banderaz was a mexican, he could be classified as a Colbexican

Word: Colblasphemy
Definition: Something negative against Stephen
Usage: The recent Colblasphemy on the boards has been annoying

Word: Colbology
Definition: The science of analysing, and reporting on Stephen Colbert, plus sharing the results of study with others
Usage: They are a veritable Colbologist with their Colbert blog

Word: Colblank
Definition: When Stephen makes a point, about say, bears and the other person he is talking to doesn't get it
Usage: He colblanked severely because he didn't listen

Word: Colberiffic
Definition: Something so good that it embodies the qualities of Stephen Colbert
Usage: Damn this Cristal is off the hook. It's not just good it's Colberiffic

Word: Colblasted
Definition: The end result of a full scale attack and/or war on anything Un-American or against Stephen's beliefs
Usage: After the long, extensive campaign led by General Colbert, the bears from America's homeland have officially been colblasted. News reports are coming in now of some damage by fuel air explosives dropped by the Air Force, but nearby citizens agree "It had to be done"

Word: Colboards
Definition: The official message boards of the #1 Colbert Report fan site
Usage: Yeah, I post on the Colboards. They're on the internet. And the internet is pretty popular

Word: Colbanitized
Definition: The cleansing of blatantly un-American and/or un-Colbertistic ideas, places, persons, or things
Usage: My cousin was a liberal East-coast Ivy Leaguer until he became Colbanitized

Word: Colbinista
Definition: The rule-abiding, loyal Colbert Nation members set across to spread the teachings of the great leader, Stephen Colbert himself.
Usage: When a debate takes place, members of the Colbinista bring forth wisdom to the debate such as "Don't rely on facts, think from your GUT!"

Word: Colbcitizen
Definition: A person (or eagle) who is a citizen of Colbert Nation, headed by the Great Stephen Colbert, armed with his Constitution of Truthiness
Usage: "Because I live in the Colbert Nation, the GREATEST nation in cyber-space, I am a Colbcitizen."

Word: Colballz
Definition: The area of Stephen's nether regions from which he derives his powers. Colballz are like regular testicles, only MUCH more so
Usage: Running for President as a Colbertocrat in America's two party system takes Colballz

 

I did all these defintions as Stephen would, straight from the gut.

 

-DaTkIdWiTdAfAcE