Childfree And The Media

   My topic is the childfree and the media. The analytical framework I’ll be using is Reflection Hypothesis. Please refer to my website for the detailed definition. I’ll be discussing the truths about the childfree and how the media in some of its various forms portray them. I’ll discuss the definition and history of the childfree, how the television and film are dominated by the woman equals mother stereotype. Mothers are the target audience that advertisers go for. Advertisers will go for the people who have little time and money to burn. There are childfree celebrities, but as general rule they don’t come out the closet for fear of being called anti-child. Bill Marr is the only one is openly childfree. I discuss the main web pages and Internet communities of importance, the heavy influence of the Internet in gathering the childfree in one place. I go into an episode of “The Drew Carry Show” that reflects on policies in the work environment against the childfree. The growing group called “No Kidding!” giving the childfree a chance to socialize with people of like mind. Then, I will present some concluding thoughts on the future of the childfree.

   The childfree are defined simply as those who do not have kids and do not ever want them or want to adopt. Childfree is not a new thing. If you look at Susan B. Anthony’s life, it fits a classic childfree profile. Up to the time of the Internet, there has been no way to find others and form communities. They were largely isolated. The childfree might find some like them in the same area, like the office, but that was very rare. Around the mid 90's, the Internet’s use started to explode. I found out about the childfree only a few years ago on the Internet by using search engines. This means of discovery is typical of the childfree. There was not a complete a list of sites, so I made one. These sites have received the attention of the mainstream media such as newspapers, TV, and National Public Radio. The number of web pages increases almost by the day. The main communities to look at are "Brats! The famous childfree rant page" and "Childfree and Happy." There are childfree celebrities, which surprised me, such as Bill Marr of Politically Incorrect. Most of the content is on the web, but it is quickly spreading to popular culture.

The childfree, as a whole, reject the use of the word childless or the phrase voluntary childlessness; the indirect meaning of childless is that I am missing something or have less of something. The definitions I developed were based on a consensus of the childfree I have read in the newspapers, web articles, and chat communities. Some researchers, causing some confusion, use the word childless. So, in place of childless, when appropriate, I will use childfree.

Prior to 1968, persons without kids were assumed, in literature, to be sterile. Interest in non-parents (childfree) grew as contraceptive alternatives expanded and the women's movement presented the childfree lifestyle for the first time. Census data shows that the number of childfree has doubled since 1960. Most of society does not generally accept the lifestyle. Literature labels the childfree as selfish, maladjusted, unhappy, hedonistic, irresponsible, immature, abnormal, and unnatural. Researchers have consistently found that they are well educated and hold non-traditional sex roles (Somers P.643, 1993). These are common popular cultural myths about the childfree. Like other groups, the childfree experience stereotyping in all types of media: newspapers, television, movies, etc. Relatives and friends impress those stereotypes onto the childfree. An article in suite101.com examines some of these myths (Swann, 2000). In 1940, 17% of 35 to 39 year old white woman were childfree. This dropped to about 7% in the 1970’s. In 1986, this figure was back up to 17%. People in other countries are reevaluating the value of becoming of parents with its costs and benefits. Not just the US is experiencing this interest in the childfree lifestyle. Other industrialized nations are experiencing a decline in childbearing (Seccombe P.191, 1991). Parenthood has been seen as a normal stage of human development in a pronatalist society such as ours. Breeding has been viewed as a sign of maturity and viewing it as an affirmation of the status of an adult. The childfree couple is defined as dysfunctional and seen as an “index of disorganization.” Early studies had methodological limitations. These studies failed to take into account the difference between child-anticipated and childfree couples. Many older studies did not use control groups (Hoffman P.197, 1985):

The statistical abstract of the United States, which is published by the U.S. Census Bureau, indicates more than 35.5 million American Couples were childless by choice or by chance in 1997, as compared with about 28.5 million in 1980 (Gregory - Page D1, 1999).

   In the popular culture world of celebrities, the childfree are there, but no one really uses the term. Bill Marr defined childfree and childless on his show at one point. The old taboos still influence even the stars. Stockard Channing is one of them who starred in television and movies, such as the hit Grease. Dr. Seuss – Theodor Seuss Geisel -- who created the famous “The Cat in The Hat” is childfree. Music pop star, Stevie Nicks, says she can’t do music halfway and needs to put her full effort into the music. Julia Child who is the famous chef from cable television is one. Ralph Nader, Green Party candidate, who says, “If you want to deal with corporate abuses, you have to give up things.” crusades for the public. Christopher Walken is childfree (Maria TX, 2000):

Walken has enjoyed an incredibly varied career that has careened from song-and-dance to comedy to action to adventure to drama. ‘We do not have any children, but we have three cats. I have always had cats because they fascinate me. They know how to live. Humans haven't learned that art yet.’ (Marie TX, 2000).

   More childfree celebrities are Scott Adams - creator, Dilbert, Brett Butler - actress/comedienne, George Clooney – actor, Mary Crosby - actress (shot JR!), Linda Evans – actress, Katherine Hepburn – actress, Dan Lauria - actor (the dad on "The Wonder Years"), Jay Leno - host, Tonight Show, David Letterman - host, Late Show, George Michael - singer/songwriter/AIDS activist, Alley Mills - actress (the mom on "The Wonder Years"), Florence Nightingale – nurse, Georgia O'Keefe – artist, Bonnie Raitt - singer/songwriter, Reginald VelJohnson - actor ("Family Matters;" "Die Hard") , Bill Watterson - creator, Calvin and Hobbes – comic strip, and Oprah Winfrey - actress, TV host, media mogul (C.F.B.C.P., 2000).

   The important Internet web page that has gotten the media attention is “BRATS! The famous childfree rant page.” It has gotten the attention of National Public Radio, ABC news, and the New York Times. It has essays of its own, but the rants page is of interest. The concept is give people, the childfree, a place to vent their frustrations about the pronatalist society we live in. That word is roughly defined as a society fascinated with kids beyond reason. The people who post say what they would never dare say in person for fear of losing their job, not wanting to rock the boat, and various other reasons. It was a real eye opener when I first got online. I have ranted many times myself and speak for everyone; it feels so good when you’re steaming with rage about an event.

Popular cultural myths about parents and parenting are shattered by the rants posted. They vent anonymously about various things such as clueless parents, bratty kids in public, injustice in the workplace, my neighbor’s kids, dumb real-world media items, airline hell, parents who do not see that not everyone shares their endless fascination with kids, breeder moms on welfare, and others. The clueless parents include those who allow their kids to scream, talk loudly, make a mess, run around like a wild animal and do nothing to discipline them. The childfree complain about the parents who are given thousands more in health benefits, special flexible hours, and lactation rooms for their lifestyle choice. Popular culture still does not consider parenting a lifestyle choice or an acceptable one for that matter. Bringing kids into the workplace is not good for employee morale, since they make unholy noises and run around the office disturbing workers. The issue of breastfeeding in public sickened ranting persons and they compare it to urinating (“It is natural too.”). They rant about neighbor’s kids who stay out at all hours, making unholy amounts of noise that they can hear through closed windows. What happened to, “children should be seen and not heard?” The media bias presented with respect to parents and kids is found in headlines on television news such as “A mother and her three children and four others were hurt,” as if the others are worthless since they do not have kids. The bias politicians have for the family issues while the childfree get ignored is clear. The persons on ‘BRATS!’ talk about airline hell when kids under two scream their lungs out for sometimes an hour. Other kids run up and down narrow walkways nearly running into flight attendants carrying hot food, rendering possible lawsuits. Co-workers and friends of the childfree were getting emails, letters, and direct conversations where the entire content consists of kids and nothing else. These people get tired of the endless chat and complaining about kids and parenting (“How it is so hard.”). They make a point of saying, “You made the choice, and you have to live with the consequences. So, don’t complain to me about your lifestyle choice. The rants include welfare moms having as many kids as they like. If they’re going to pick money out my pocket, they shouldn’t be having any more kids. Some people on ‘BRATS!’ want anyone to going on welfare to either be sterilized or go on a birth control method like Depo-Provera. The rants mention women who ‘opps’ their partners, referring to women who go off birth control without the male’s consent or sabotage the condom. The rants reflect the undercurrent of resentment growing in the childfree that live in this society. These are just a small sample of the subjects discussed.

The next site of interest on the Internet is “Childfree and Happy” on Microsoft Network. The former site was located on excite clubs on the Internet. The clubs are open only to childfree. The problem on Excite clubs started with adult sites containing sexual materials, including pictures. Excite’s management were going to delete all adult-oriented clubs. They decided to delete all clubs. Many in that childfree club sent emails complaining about the censorship. So, the club was moved to msn.com communities. The club now provides an area for discussion and ability to socialize with fellow childfree persons. The next community is childfree activists. They want to become more politically active to fight the exploitation of the childfree in the tax code, the laws against childfree/adults only apartment complexes, and many other topics. These clubs provide a forum to for childfree to bond with others like themselves and know that they are not alone. The group as a whole seems to have the same ideas in politics and in life in general. It is as if we come from the same small town and everyone knows everyone else. There are many races that are self-reported: Caucasian, African, Latino, Asian, and mixed races. The religions reported are Christian, New Age, and Pagan. There seems to be a great diversity with the childfree community. Knowing they are not alone in how they think and live is a great benefit to their well being.

On the subject of the childfree and television, there is an episode of the “Drew Carey Show” that brings up a childfree issue. Specifically, it addresses the exploitation of the childfree in the workplace. The show masks the issue as singles forming a union. The episode has Mr. Wick telling his staff that everyone with families can go home because of severe storm. Everyone else without kids is expected to stay and enjoy the rain. The single workers statements reflect the hidden resentments of the childfree in the workplace. Drew says, “Ah, this sucks. Just ‘cause we do not have kids, we get stuck here doing everyone else’s work.” Mimi says “Yeah, I am tired of picking up the slack just ‘cause I choose to be single” (Borden P.14, 1997). So, Drew suggests forming a singles’ union, because of the one-sided benefits and exploitation of the singles (Borden P.17-18, 1997). The show possibly could not address the childfree issue directly without angering the viewers. The childfree have been addressed in other shows such as “Third Rock From The Sun” and “Just Shoot Me.” The childfree are a growing minority. When media gatekeepers see profit in addressing the childfree, we should see more shows on the childfree topics. The gatekeepers of mainstream American television and movies keep the childfree symbolically annihilated by under representing and trivializing them in comedies. You’d never find a fictional character saying, “I am childfree.” A character would never admit they hated kids on a drama series, or they just did not find kids interesting. Elinor Burkett’s book examines workplace and social issues in detailed, well-thought-out arguments. She explains it all better than I ever could (Burkett, 2000). All this family-friendly legislation, exploits the childfree indirectly or directly. We do not acknowledge in this culture the fact that parenting is a lifestyle choice. Also, there is new online magazine called “The Onion,” which voices childfree opinions in some articles. It has wonderful sarcastic wit and a progressive slant.

There is a non-profit social group for the childfree called “No Kidding!” Jerry Steinberg formed the first chapter in 1984 in Vancouver, BC, Canada. It has many cities with chapters in the United States and Canada. This social group for singles and couples is spreading globally with the advent of the Internet. Childfree people from Australia, Bangladesh, England, France, India, New Zealand, South Africa, South Korea, Sweden, and Taiwan have contacted them. So, this is rapidly becoming a global group. Membership is open to adults regardless of gender, age, color, race, ethnicity, marital status, or political, sexual, or religious orientation. Members either knew from childhood they didn’t want kids or came to the decision over time for a variety of reasons. The meetings are for people who chat with fellow adults without the interruptions of kids and who won’t alienate them by talking about kids all the time. The kinds of the things they talk about at social activities include careers, studies, travels, interests, sex, politics and religion. But rarely do they talk about kids, it is not taboo, it is simply not an issue. They will do a wide variety of activities including hikes, wine & cheese parties, water skiing, art galleries, pajama parties, movies, go-karting, plays, professional football games, picnics, board games nights, snow shoeing, restaurant dinners, sailing, county/state fairs (such as the Pacific National Exhibition), dancing, cycling, wine tasting, and rock 'n' roll parties. Those are just a small sample of the activities mentioned. Chapter one has yearly fees; it depends on the groups if there are fees. Jerry Steinberg is putting out a book in the future called, "NO KIDDING! Some people don't have children." Chapter one’s website includes personal stories and poetry. They have an article called, “License to Parent.” This idea is common among the childfree, requiring prospective parents to get a license before they are allowed to have kids. We have licenses for just about everything, so it makes perfect sense in their eyes (Ricklite, 2001). There is another group called Childfree Network, but there is little to nothing written about it. “No Kidding!” is the significant childfree group for the future.

   The future of the childfree as group and as a movement is growing. The resentment and discontent is reaching a boiling point. There was a message posted on both Turtle Rant Board and MSN’s childfree and happy about the website, ”Oppose ashcroft for attorney general.” Many of the childfree signed the petition. This site says they managed to have an influence on his verification by congress. Based on my experience, this just the beginning of the childfree becoming politically active. The message board is now at about 130 members and adding new ones daily. The issue that is of great concern is the sense of entitlement that parents are getting because of this family friendliness attitude of the government. There are the beginnings of backlash against this “family values” movement. Now that the childfree can discuss among themselves issues both in rants and discussions, I am reading more direct verbal confrontation with parents with respect to the issues of the childfree coming up. According to reflection hypothesis, commercial television will not address childfree as a target audience till they see dollars signs. The power structure will not see them, until they organize into a political force. I saw a television program called “20/20”, which shows both sides of the childfree exploitation in the workforce. The number of media outlets exploring childfree will continue to increase in the future. The group is getting to know each other on msn’s community and on Turtle’s Rant site. In the long term, the childfree will become a significant political force in this country and around the world.

Works Cited:

Koby, Greg. Childfree Links and Resources. 2 April 2001.
     <http://members.nbci.com/filmjournal/defined.htm>

Somers, Marsha D. A Comparison of Voluntarily Childfree Adults and Parents
     Journal of Marriage and the Family (August 1993): 643-650.

Swann, Cara. Top Ten Childfree Myths: May 19,2000
     http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/6392/39629/

Seccombe, Karen. “Assessing the Costs and Benefits of Children: Gender Comparison among Childfree Husbands and Wives.” Journal of Marriage and Family (February 1991): 191-202.

Hoffman, Susan R. and Levant, Ronald F. “A Comparison of Childfree and Child-Anticipated Married Couples.” Family Relations (February 1985): 197-203.

Gregory, Kim Lamb. “No Kidding Around.” Ventura County Star. Sunday August 1,
   1999.

TX, Marie. Childfree News Corner. 2000 <http://www.dork.com/cfnews/people.htm/>

The Childfree-By-Choice Pages. 2000 <http://www.childfree.net/potpourri_celebrity.html/>

BRATS! The famous childfree rant page. 2001
   <http://www.fred.net/turtle/kids/kids1.html>

Childfree and Happy.
      <http://www.msn.com/childfreeandhappy/>

Borden, Robert. Drew and the Singles Union. Production #466-251.
©1997 Warner Bros. Television.

Burkett, Elinor. The Baby Boon – How Family-Friendly America Cheats The Childless.
    The Free Press, ©2000.

The Onion
       <http://www.theonion.com/>

Dick. No Kidding! Chapter One. <http://www.nokidding.net/>