The Tale of Brownie Bob

Brownie bob was a boy made of uncooked brownie dough.  He came to life when a little girl named Suzie and her mother were baking brownies.  Suzie was very impaient and couldn't wait for the brownies to finish cooking, so she grabbed a handful of dough when her mother wasn't looking and stuffed it in her pocket.  Her mother then put the rest of the dough in the oven and told Suzie to go play with her friends while the brownies baked.  Suzie went to her friend Jane's house and thought that they should share the dough she had in her pocket.  When she got to Jane's house and told her about the brownie dough Jane had suggested that they make it into a perfect little doll and play with it.  They thought it would be a good idea, because Jane's Barbie needed a boyfriend.  So the girls shaped the dough into the form of a person.  But, this was no ordinary glob of dough they were dealing with.  This glob of dough was EEVIL, with two Es because one E is not eevil enough to describe the eevilness.  "FEEL THE WRATH OF BROWNIE BOB!" Bob yelled.  The girls laughed, they thought he was cute!  Brownie Bob did not like being laughed at, so he ate the girls. And when he ate them he grew to a solid 7 feet.  But Brownie Bob was still hungry, so he when downstairs and ate Jane's mom.  But the more he ate, the hungrier he got.  So he kept eating people until he was as big as Godzilla.  He ransacked the city as he searched for more tastey human morsels, but he kept growing, and his hunger was still not satisfied.  The people ran from him, but they were no match for his sticky fingers.  He moved from city to city eating the residents.  Something had to be done.  President Dubya was in the oval office with his top advisors thinking of a plan to defeat this demeneted dessert.

"All this thinkin' is hurtin' my brain." said Dubya.

"Well, think of something fast, Bush, we need to take action!" urged Cheney.

"Maybe we could let all the hungry people in the world eat him." Suggested Dubya.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!  Dough has eggs in it, and eggs has salminela."replied Cheney.

"Well maybe if we built a ginormous wooden badger..."

"Bush! Look behind you!" Cheney screamed.

"I'm not falling for that again"

"No, this time there really is something behind you!"

"I know what's gonna happen if I turn around, there's ain't gonna be anything there and you're gonna laugh at me."

Just at that moment Brownie Bob ate Dubya, but Dubya's republicanism gave Brownie Bob severe indigestion, and Brownie Bob exploded.  The people were saved! And better yet, the people Bronie Bob ate were released from what they were certain would be their gooey grave. 

The morals of this story are don't play with your food and never eat republicans.