This is an excerpt for SNOW WHITE
& THE SEVEN DWARFS.
CAST LIST IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
The Wicked Queen
The Magic Mirror
The Panto Dancers
Muddles – A gofer
Humble – the Queen’s henchman
Doc – a very clever dwarf
Sleepy – a very tired dwarf
Sneezy – a very sneezy dwarf
Dopey – a very slow dwarf
Happy – a very happy dwarf
Bashful – a very shy dwarf
Grumpy – A very angry dwarf
MUSIC 1 - OVERTURE “WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK” (FADE ABOUT 1 MINUTE)
MUSIC 2 - QUEEN UNDERSCORE
LIGHTS UP ON EVIL QUEEN IN
SILHOUETTE (NOT THE MIRROR) - SLOW TURN TO THE AUDIENCE (10 secs)
Queen – Hum a merry tune? I hate happy music. That’s better, now I can concentrate. Let’s get down to business. Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror – You are, oh great disgusting queen.
Queen – And so I will remain.
Forever! Mirror! How old is Snow White?
Mirror – Seventeen your odiousness.
Queen – Seventeen? Still a child!
THE KING ENTERS.
King – Are you talking to that mirror again?
Queen – That mirror? That mirror? At least I get an honest answer!
King – Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’ve got a hammer, and you will fall!
Mirror – No don’t break me! Help!
Queen – What do you want?
King – There’s a Palace Ball
tonight. Are you going to get ready?
THE QUEEN STARES AT HIM.
King – Oh sorry, I see you have. Hehehehe!
Queen – I hate happy celebrations.
King – Everyone is very excited.
Queen – Excited? Why?
King – It’s Snow White’s 18th birthday tomorrow. My daughter! Your step-daughter.
Queen – I know who she is.
King - And I’ve had a fantastic idea! We’re going to celebrate her birthday at midnight!
Queen – S.s.s.s.s.s.snow W.w.w.w.w.white? Celebrating at mm.m.m.m.midnight?
King – Everyone is singing in the street! They are looking forward to the party!
Mirror – So am I! I’ve even had a polish!
Queen – Shut up mirror! Snow White is 18 tomorrow?
King – She certainly is. Right, I need to help with the preparations.
Queen – Stupid fool. Snow White is 18? Snow White is 18? Mirror!
Mirror – Yes your cringeness.
Queen – Tell me again. Who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror – Why you oh great and nasty queen.
Queen – Good! Right, come on mirror.
Mirror – No, I’ll stay here.
QUEEN THREATENS WITH A GESTURE
Mirror – Upon reflection. Let’s go!
Queen – How you ever became King I’ll never know.
King – Well you see my father was the
king and that meant that……
QUEEN AND MIRROR EXIT.
King – Oh dear she’s not very happy! That doesn’t exactly make a change! Look, here they come! Everyone is getting ready for the party tonight!
MUSIC 3 - IT’S A KIND OF MAGIC
FREDDIE MERCURY/ QUEEN VERSION
Muddles – Hello everyone! My name
is Muddles and I work here at the
And we’re playing games. Pass the Parcel, musical chairs. Pin the tail on the Queen! I mean donkey. Well same thing really. Have you seen Snow White yet? No? You haven’t. Well do you know something? Snow White’s my best friend! She’s my best friend in the entire world.
Queen – (OFFSTAGE) Muddles!
Muddles – Oh heck it’s the Queen!
And she’s got that idiot Humble with her. Humble’s so stupid, do you know that
the other day, I saw her in the frozen food section of the supermarket with a
MUDDLES PICKS UP A FALSE FLOWER AND HIDES BEHIND IT. QUEEN ENTERS.
Queen – Muddles! What are you doing!
Muddles – (ASIDE) Sssshhh she can’t see me! Don’t say anything.
Queen – Time for a bit of pruning I think. Humble let’s start with the weeds!
Humble – Yes, your disgustingness.
Muddles – Aaagghh! No! I don’t want to be pruned!
Queen – You imbecile! Where have you been?
Muddles – Oh, I had to go the hospital.
Humble – What for?
Muddles – I got a black eye from a tomato
Humble – Tomatoes don’t give you black eyes.
Muddles – They do if they are still in the tin.
MUSIC 4 – SNOW WHITE ENTERS/ UNDERSCORE SONG “I’M WISHING”
SNOW WHITE ENTERS SPEAK AT
END OF FIRST PHRASE OF MUSIC
Snow White – Hello Muddles. Hello everybody.
Muddles – Hello Snow White. Are you excited about your birthday?
Snow White – Of course I am. Very!
Muddles – What presents do you think you’ll get?
Snow White – I’m not worried about presents as long as all my friends are there.
Muddles – You might meet a handsome Prince.
Snow White – I might. I often dream of meeting a handsome Prince.
Muddles – Until you do, will you dance with me?
Snow White – I’d be honoured Muddles.
Muddles – I’d dance ever so good! The best in the world.
Snow White – I’m sure you would. Let’s practice. (0.42)
THIS SONG HAS A VOCAL
BACKING THAT MUDDLES THINKS IS SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ROOM.
Snow White – SINGS I'm wishing (echo)
Muddles – Hello?
Snow White - For the one I love….to find me (echo)
Muddles – Who’s that?
Snow White - Today (echo)
Muddles – Have you got a sister?
Snow White - I'm hoping (echo)
Muddles – Where are you?
Snow White - And I’m dreaming of the nice things (echo) he’ll say (echo)
Muddles – Who?
Snow White - La hahaha (echo)
Muddles – Ah!
Snow White - La hahaha (echo)
Muddles – Aaagghh!
Snow White - La hahaha
Muddles – Ahahahahahaha (Pain in crotch)
Snow White - I'm wishing (echo)
for the one I love to find me (echo) today.
Muddles – Oh Snow White that was dead romantic.
Snow White – I’m glad you think so!
Muddles - Well Snow White I’ve got lots to do! I’ll see you all later at the Royal Ball!
Muddles/Snow White – Goodbye!
SNOW WHITE AND MUDDLES EXIT/NURSE SALLY ENTERS
MUSIC 5 – NURSE SALLY ENTERS
Nurse Sally – Hello everybody! My name is Nurse Sally Slap’n’tickle. Slap because I have to and Tickle because I can. I’m Snow White’s Nurse. I looked after her when she was a baby. Ah! I looked after her when she was a young girl. Ah! And now all the men look after her, they’re so kind.
Well you’re all here in
lovely _______ to see the Panto. I’ve travelled all the way down from my
holiday villa in
THIS SECTION INCLUDES A SONGSHEET OF THE SONG OOM PAH PAH FROM “OLIVER.”
MUSIC 7 – NURSE SALLY & GIRLS EXIT – “GOODBYES”
MUSIC 8 – MILITARY TRUMPET (CUTS AT 13 SECS.)
THE PRINCE ENTERS FOLLOWED BY HUMBLE
Prince – I am Prince Archibald of
Humble – A Prince from
Prince – And who are you?
Humble – I am humble from erm…here.
Prince – Well Humble from erm…here, do you know how to unsaddle a horse?
Humble – No, but if you sing it I’ll try to hum along.
Prince – Me! Horse!
Humble – Well don’t shout. Your horse, of course!
Prince – Do you work at the Palace?
Humble – Why do you want me to put a word in for you?
Prince – I don’t need a job! I’m a handsome Prince in search of a fair maiden.
Humble – Well I’d give you a fair price if you found one for me as well.
Prince – You’re useless!
Humble – Thank you very much. You’re very kind. Look I’ve got to get on. There’s Snow White’s birthday ball tonight and I’ve got to separate the doilies.
Prince – Well you’re useless! I can separate them better than you.
Humble – No, you can’t. I’m the world champion doilies separator!
MUSIC 9 – ANYTHING YOU CAN DO (STARTS AT 3 SECS.)0.12
Humble –Anything you can do I can
I can do anything better than you.
Prince – No you can’t
Humble – Yes I can
Prince – No you can’t
Humble – Yes I can.
Prince – No you can’t.
Humble - Yes I can etc......
MUSIC 15 – HEIGH HO. (starts on 10 secs)
DWARFS ENTER WITH TORCH LIGHTS
Dwarfs – Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho!
1. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's home from work we go
With a knife and fork and a tummy full of pork
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, x2
0.51 Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
REPEAT 1 X2
1.20 Happy now! Happy home! Happy
you’re with me.
A happy hi! A happy home! Hooray!
LIGHTS OFF ONE BY ONE.
Doc – Shush! What was that?
Sleepy – What was what?
Dopey – That.
Happy – What?
Bashful – That?
Grumpy – WHAT?
Sneezy – Aahhchoo!
Doc – Something’s strange.
Sleepy – Strange?
Bashful – Odd.
Happy – Weird.
Grumpy – Different.
Sneezy - Aahhchoo!
Dopey – Clean!
All – CLEAN?
Doc – The house is clean.
Sleepy – The pots are clean.
Dopey – The walls are clean.
Happy – The floors are clean.
Bashful – The pictures are clean.
Grumpy – Is it our house?
Sneezy – Aahhchoo. Certainly is!
Doc – Look there’s someone asleep.
All – Aaagghh!!!!!!!!!!
SNOW WHITE WAKES UP.
Snow White – Hello little
Sleepy – Hello. What’s your name?
Dopey – Don’t talk to her she’s dangerous.
Snow White – I’m not dangerous.
Happy – She’s a dangerous animal, she’ll eat you.
Snow White – I won’t eat you.
Bashful – No? Do you promise?
Snow White – Of course I do.
Grumpy – Did you C-L-E-A-N?
Snow White – Clean?
All – (SCARED) Aaagghh.
Muddles – I miss Snow White.
Prince – Don’t worry I’ll save her.
Sally – Operation Snow White Storm?
Muddles – She was always so kind to me. She bought me lovely Christmas presents.
Sally – Oh yes me too. Let’s sing the song. You don’t know the words, so don’t join in.
N. B. THE PROPS REQUIRED FOR THIS SONG
ARE AS FOLLOWS: T-shirt from LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM (You’ll have to find a team
that fits the music. For now I’ve left our choice in the song.) Two small water
pistols, two large water pistols, Three Barbie Dolls, four toilet rolls, five
bold things (any props in a gift bag so you can’t see them), six lots of
smellies, seven bells a clanging, eight bubbles blowing, nine gums for chewing
(we used cut up marshmallow), ten notes for singing (we used a toy xylophone),
eleven coloured pencils, twelve pairs of knickers!
MUSIC 20 - TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
EVERYTIME THERE IS A JOKE IN THE
SONG THE MUSIC STOPS AND STARTS.
Sally - On the first day of Christmas Snow White gave to me A T-shirt from Real Madrid .17
Muddles - On the second day of Christmas Snow White gave to me Two water pistols
Sally - and a T-shirt from LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM. .28
Sally – Now one moment Muddles, I
hope you’re going to be careful with those.
Muddles – Oh I promise Nurse Sally.
Sally – I can’t abide a man who mis-uses his pistol.
Prince - On the third day of Christmas Snow White gave to me Three Barbie Dolls
Muddles - Two water pistols
Sally - and a T-shirt from Real Madrid. .41
Muddles – I got a Divorced Barbie last Christmas.
Prince - A divorced Barbie?
Muddles - Yes, she came with Kens’ House, Ken’s Car, Ken’s money.
Muddles – On the fourth day of Christmas Snow White gave to me four toilet rolls .55
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