This is an excerpt for SNOW WHITE
& THE SEVEN DWARFS.
CAST LIST IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
The Wicked Queen
The Magic Mirror
The Panto Dancers
Muddles A gofer
Humble the Queens henchman
Doc a very clever dwarf
Sleepy a very tired dwarf
Sneezy a very sneezy dwarf
Dopey a very slow dwarf
Happy a very happy dwarf
Bashful a very shy dwarf
Grumpy A very angry dwarf
MUSIC 1 - OVERTURE WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK (FADE ABOUT 1 MINUTE)
MUSIC 2 - QUEEN UNDERSCORE
LIGHTS UP ON EVIL QUEEN IN
SILHOUETTE (NOT THE MIRROR) - SLOW TURN TO THE AUDIENCE (10 secs)
Queen Hum a merry tune? I hate happy music. Thats better, now I can concentrate. Lets get down to business. Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror You are, oh great disgusting queen.
Queen And so I will remain.
Forever! Mirror! How old is Snow White?
Mirror Seventeen your odiousness.
Queen Seventeen? Still a child!
THE KING ENTERS.
King Are you talking to that mirror again?
Queen That mirror? That mirror? At least I get an honest answer!
King Mirror, mirror on the wall, Ive got a hammer, and you will fall!
Mirror No dont break me! Help!
Queen What do you want?
King Theres a Palace Ball
tonight. Are you going to get ready?
THE QUEEN STARES AT HIM.
King Oh sorry, I see you have. Hehehehe!
Queen I hate happy celebrations.
King Everyone is very excited.
Queen Excited? Why?
King Its Snow Whites 18th birthday tomorrow. My daughter! Your step-daughter.
Queen I know who she is.
King - And Ive had a fantastic idea! Were going to celebrate her birthday at midnight!
Queen S.s.s.s.s.s.snow W.w.w.w.w.white? Celebrating at mm.m.m.m.midnight?
King Everyone is singing in the street! They are looking forward to the party!
Mirror So am I! Ive even had a polish!
Queen Shut up mirror! Snow White is 18 tomorrow?
King She certainly is. Right, I need to help with the preparations.
Queen Stupid fool. Snow White is 18? Snow White is 18? Mirror!
Mirror Yes your cringeness.
Queen Tell me again. Who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror Why you oh great and nasty queen.
Queen Good! Right, come on mirror.
Mirror No, Ill stay here.
QUEEN THREATENS WITH A GESTURE
Mirror Upon reflection. Lets go!
Queen How you ever became King Ill never know.
King Well you see my father was the
king and that meant that
QUEEN AND MIRROR EXIT.
King Oh dear shes not very happy! That doesnt exactly make a change! Look, here they come! Everyone is getting ready for the party tonight!
MUSIC 3 - ITS A KIND OF MAGIC
FREDDIE MERCURY/ QUEEN VERSION
Muddles Hello everyone! My name
is Muddles and I work here at the
And were playing games. Pass the Parcel, musical chairs. Pin the tail on the Queen! I mean donkey. Well same thing really. Have you seen Snow White yet? No? You havent. Well do you know something? Snow Whites my best friend! Shes my best friend in the entire world.
Queen (OFFSTAGE) Muddles!
Muddles Oh heck its the Queen!
And shes got that idiot Humble with her. Humbles so stupid, do you know that
the other day, I saw her in the frozen food section of the supermarket with a
MUDDLES PICKS UP A FALSE FLOWER AND HIDES BEHIND IT. QUEEN ENTERS.
Queen Muddles! What are you doing!
Muddles (ASIDE) Sssshhh she cant see me! Dont say anything.
Queen Time for a bit of pruning I think. Humble lets start with the weeds!
Humble Yes, your disgustingness.
Muddles Aaagghh! No! I dont want to be pruned!
Queen You imbecile! Where have you been?
Muddles Oh, I had to go the hospital.
Humble What for?
Muddles I got a black eye from a tomato
Humble Tomatoes dont give you black eyes.
Muddles They do if they are still in the tin.
MUSIC 4 SNOW WHITE ENTERS/ UNDERSCORE SONG IM WISHING
SNOW WHITE ENTERS SPEAK AT
END OF FIRST PHRASE OF MUSIC
Snow White Hello Muddles. Hello everybody.
Muddles Hello Snow White. Are you excited about your birthday?
Snow White Of course I am. Very!
Muddles What presents do you think youll get?
Snow White Im not worried about presents as long as all my friends are there.
Muddles You might meet a handsome Prince.
Snow White I might. I often dream of meeting a handsome Prince.
Muddles Until you do, will you dance with me?
Snow White Id be honoured Muddles.
Muddles Id dance ever so good! The best in the world.
Snow White Im sure you would. Lets practice. (0.42)
THIS SONG HAS A VOCAL
BACKING THAT MUDDLES THINKS IS SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ROOM.
Snow White SINGS I'm wishing (echo)
Snow White - For the one I love .to find me (echo)
Muddles Whos that?
Snow White - Today (echo)
Muddles Have you got a sister?
Snow White - I'm hoping (echo)
Muddles Where are you?
Snow White - And Im dreaming of the nice things (echo) hell say (echo)
Snow White - La hahaha (echo)
Snow White - La hahaha (echo)
Snow White - La hahaha
Muddles Ahahahahahaha (Pain in crotch)
Snow White - I'm wishing (echo)
for the one I love to find me (echo) today.
Muddles Oh Snow White that was dead romantic.
Snow White Im glad you think so!
Muddles - Well Snow White Ive got lots to do! Ill see you all later at the Royal Ball!
Muddles/Snow White Goodbye!
SNOW WHITE AND MUDDLES EXIT/NURSE SALLY ENTERS
MUSIC 5 NURSE SALLY ENTERS
Nurse Sally Hello everybody! My name is Nurse Sally Slapntickle. Slap because I have to and Tickle because I can. Im Snow Whites Nurse. I looked after her when she was a baby. Ah! I looked after her when she was a young girl. Ah! And now all the men look after her, theyre so kind.
Well youre all here in
lovely _______ to see the Panto. Ive travelled all the way down from my
holiday villa in
THIS SECTION INCLUDES A SONGSHEET OF THE SONG OOM PAH PAH FROM OLIVER.
MUSIC 7 NURSE SALLY & GIRLS EXIT GOODBYES
MUSIC 8 MILITARY TRUMPET (CUTS AT 13 SECS.)
THE PRINCE ENTERS FOLLOWED BY HUMBLE
Prince I am Prince Archibald of
Humble A Prince from
Prince And who are you?
Humble I am humble from erm here.
Prince Well Humble from erm here, do you know how to unsaddle a horse?
Humble No, but if you sing it Ill try to hum along.
Prince Me! Horse!
Humble Well dont shout. Your horse, of course!
Prince Do you work at the Palace?
Humble Why do you want me to put a word in for you?
Prince I dont need a job! Im a handsome Prince in search of a fair maiden.
Humble Well Id give you a fair price if you found one for me as well.
Prince Youre useless!
Humble Thank you very much. Youre very kind. Look Ive got to get on. Theres Snow Whites birthday ball tonight and Ive got to separate the doilies.
Prince Well youre useless! I can separate them better than you.
Humble No, you cant. Im the world champion doilies separator!
MUSIC 9 ANYTHING YOU CAN DO (STARTS AT 3 SECS.)0.12
Humble Anything you can do I can
I can do anything better than you.
Prince No you cant
Humble Yes I can
Prince No you cant
Humble Yes I can.
Prince No you cant.
Humble - Yes I can etc......
MUSIC 15 HEIGH HO. (starts on 10 secs)
DWARFS ENTER WITH TORCH LIGHTS
Dwarfs Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho!
1. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's home from work we go
With a knife and fork and a tummy full of pork
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, x2
0.51 Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
REPEAT 1 X2
1.20 Happy now! Happy home! Happy
youre with me.
A happy hi! A happy home! Hooray!
LIGHTS OFF ONE BY ONE.
Doc Shush! What was that?
Sleepy What was what?
Doc Somethings strange.
Sneezy - Aahhchoo!
Doc The house is clean.
Sleepy The pots are clean.
Dopey The walls are clean.
Happy The floors are clean.
Bashful The pictures are clean.
Grumpy Is it our house?
Sneezy Aahhchoo. Certainly is!
Doc Look theres someone asleep.
SNOW WHITE WAKES UP.
Snow White Hello little
Sleepy Hello. Whats your name?
Dopey Dont talk to her shes dangerous.
Snow White Im not dangerous.
Happy Shes a dangerous animal, shell eat you.
Snow White I wont eat you.
Bashful No? Do you promise?
Snow White Of course I do.
Grumpy Did you C-L-E-A-N?
Snow White Clean?
All (SCARED) Aaagghh.
Muddles I miss Snow White.
Prince Dont worry Ill save her.
Sally Operation Snow White Storm?
Muddles She was always so kind to me. She bought me lovely Christmas presents.
Sally Oh yes me too. Lets sing the song. You dont know the words, so dont join in.
N. B. THE PROPS REQUIRED FOR THIS SONG
ARE AS FOLLOWS: T-shirt from LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM (Youll have to find a team
that fits the music. For now Ive left our choice in the song.) Two small water
pistols, two large water pistols, Three Barbie Dolls, four toilet rolls, five
bold things (any props in a gift bag so you cant see them), six lots of
smellies, seven bells a clanging, eight bubbles blowing, nine gums for chewing
(we used cut up marshmallow), ten notes for singing (we used a toy xylophone),
eleven coloured pencils, twelve pairs of knickers!
MUSIC 20 - TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
EVERYTIME THERE IS A JOKE IN THE
SONG THE MUSIC STOPS AND STARTS.
Sally - On the first day of Christmas Snow White gave to me A T-shirt from Real Madrid .17
Muddles - On the second day of Christmas Snow White gave to me Two water pistols
Sally - and a T-shirt from LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM. .28
Sally Now one moment Muddles, I
hope youre going to be careful with those.
Muddles Oh I promise Nurse Sally.
Sally I cant abide a man who mis-uses his pistol.
Prince - On the third day of Christmas Snow White gave to me Three Barbie Dolls
Muddles - Two water pistols
Sally - and a T-shirt from Real Madrid. .41
Muddles I got a Divorced Barbie last Christmas.
Prince - A divorced Barbie?
Muddles - Yes, she came with Kens House, Kens Car, Kens money.
Muddles On the fourth day of Christmas Snow White gave to me four toilet rolls .55
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