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This is an excerpt from Aladdin

ALADDIN EXCERPT ONE

 TRACK ONE & TWO      GHOSTLY MUSIC. 

 Abanazar – Huh!  What’s this?  Boys and girls?  Mums and Dads?  Do you know who I am?  I am the evil one they call Abanazar.

 OFF STAGE BOOING

 Abanazar – Ah! Button it! I’m far too busy too listen to you lot.

                         Nose of pig and eye of toad!  One Big Mac and then explode!
                        Abracadabra.  Shazim.  Shazam. Make this ring magic to help my plan.

 A PUFF OF SMOKE AND THE SLAVE OF THE RING APPEARS.

Slave – I am the Slave of the Ring.  My magic powers are at your service.

Abanazar – Good!  Very good!  I am Abanazar!

Slave – Have a banana?

Abanazar – Abanazar!

Slave – I have waited long for your arrival.

Abanazar – Yes.  Sorry, there was a queue at the Post Office.

Slave – What is it that you desire?

Abanazar – Bring me the Magic Lamp of Balthazar!

Slave – Alas this is beyond my magic power, but I’ll tell you where the lamp may be found.

Abanazar – Where?  Where is the lamp?

Slave – In a cave near Alicante.

Abanazar – And can I go and get it now?

Slave – No!  You can’t!  Only a direct descendant of the wizards who placed it there can find it!  So you know who you must find?

Abanazar – Harry Potter?

Slave – No! Only one such descendant lives!  His name is………Aladdin!

Abanazar – Aladdin!  Does the boy know that he holds this power?

Slave – He does not.  Only he can enter the cave.  For others it will mean certain death.

Abanazar – So, Slave of the Ring!  If I find the boy Aladdin the lamp will be mine.

Slave – Yes Abba Gold!

Abanazar – Abanazar!  (ASIDE) I will trick the boy Aladdin by pretending to be his long lost Uncle.  (TO THE SLAVE) Where does he live?

Slave – He lives with his mother and his brother in the Imperial City of Peking!

Abanazar – Peking.  That’s worth a look!  Alright!  I didn’t write it!  I will leave at once!

ABANAZAR EXITS.

Slave – So now you’re off to Old Peking! Let’s go and hear the people sing!

SLAVE OF THE RING FRONTS OPENING SONG. LIGHTS UP TO REVEAL MARKET SCENE, TOWNSFOLK ETC.

TRACK THREE              MUSIC -  WELCOME TO PEKING

CAST

Consider yourself at home.
Consider yourself one of the family.
We've taken to you so strong.
It's clear we're going to get along.
So welcome to Peking!
Come stroll around. Look at the market place!
There’s ever so much to do!
That you won’t know where the time has gone!

 If it’s fruit you need or meat to feed
We can supply
Plus the market people sing!
If it’s veg you crave come on be brave
And watch us wave!
The Market Place, Peking!

Consider yourself our mate.
We don't want to have no fuss!
For after some consideration, we can state...
Consider yourself one of us!

REPEAT VERSE

If it’s cheese you please that’s Pekinese
It’s not to tease
We have nearly everything!
And if you hope for soap or envelopes
You know who copes!
The Market Place, Peking!

Consider yourself our mate.
We don't want to have no fuss!
For after some consideration, we can state...
Consider yourself!

One of us!

SLAVE OF THE RING EXITS.  GENERAL MARKET NOISE.  BUYING SELLING ETC.

 ______ - Look everyone it’s Aladdin!

 ALADDIN ENTERS

 Aladdin – Good morning everyone!

CAST – Good morning gorgeous!

Aladdin – Girls stop it please!  You’ll make me blush…again.

______ – Well you make me faint every time I see you.

Aladdin – Now please no distractions I need a plan!

______ – Why do you need a plan Aladdin?

Aladdin – There’s going to be a procession today through the city and I can see the beautiful Princess Jasmine!  But the Empress has passed a new law!  Everyone must bow their heads so they can’t look at the Princess.

______ – Look at me then!

Aladdin – Sorry! But I only have eyes for the Princess!  She is so beautiful.  I saw her once.  I looked over the Palace wall. 

______ – Well don’t let the Police catch you doing that!

Aladdin – Don’t worry.  I won’t!  This must be the Empress now!  Oh no!  And she’s got the policemen with her! I've got to get out of here.  See you later!

 ALADDIN EXITS

 TRACK FOUR    POLICEMEN ENTER WITH WHISTLES & RUBBER TRUNCHEONS. MAYHEM AS THEY ENTER.  TRIPPING OVER NOTHING GAGS, MOVING NOTHING, THEN TRIP AGAIN.  LOTS OF “STAND BACK PLEASE” “MAKE WAY FOR THE EMPRESS” ETC.  CAST EXIT

 Chop – The Empress of China.

 TRACK FIVE     EMPRESS ENTERS.

 Empress – Good morning mortals!

Chop – Sergeant Chop at your service, Empress.  May I introduce Constable Ping?

Ping – Empress!

Chop – And Constable Pong.

Pong – Empress!

Chop/Ping/Pong – At your service!

Empress – I know you are.  You’re my Police Force.  Now I’ve just passed something, what was it?

Chop – The Post Office?

Empress – I passed it just after lunch!

Ping/Pong – That doesn’t sound good!

Empress – Oh yes!  That was it!  A new law!

 POLICEMEN ALL SIGH WITH RELIEF.

 ALADDIN EXCERPT TWO

Widow Twankey – You look like you’re on a day trip for a Chinese Restaurant.

________ - Don’t you like Chinese food?

Widow Twankey – Oh no! Take it away!

________ - How are you today Widow Twankey?

Widow Twankey – I’m trying to get through all this washing!

________ - Well we could help you?

Widow Twankey – You could? Well thank you.

 TRACK SEVEN (10 SECOND DELAY)

 TWANKEY SONG – I JUST WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU.

VERSE ONE                                                                                               
Cast - Widow Twankey.                                            
Widow Twankey - What I loathe!                             
Cast - Widow Twankey.                                            
Widow Twankey - Washing clothes                          
Cast - What she really wants to do!                         
Widow Twankey - I just want to make love to you. 
Cast - Oooooohhhhhhh!                                           
Widow Twankey - Love to you!                                 

VERSE TWO
Cast - On a Monday.
Widow Twankey - Washing day!
Cast - On a Tuesday!
Widow Twankey - Washing day!
Cast - All week long, what’s to do?
Twankey - I just want to make love to you!
Cast – Oooooohhhhhhh!
Widow Twankey - Love to you!

VERSE THREE
Widow Twankey - You can tell by the way that I fold your socks
I’m one cool bird served up on the rocks
It might be the way that I get my dosh
Press my button and I’m one hot wash!

 VERSE FOUR
Cast - On a Wednesday.
Widow Twankey - Washing day!
Cast - On a Thursday.
Widow Twankey - Washing day!
Cast - All week long, what’s to do?
Widow Twankey - I just want to make love to you!
Cast - Oooooohhhhhhh!
Widow Twankey - Love to you!

Widow Twankey- Unravel me girls!

A WASHING LINE APPEARS FROM HER CLOTHES AND SHE UNRAVELS IT ACROSS THE FRONT OF THE STAGE

Widow Twankey -  If you’re dirty and stained not feeling fine.
Then hang around on my washing line.
You might think I’ve got lumpy legs
That’s just the place where I keep my pegs!

 WIDOW TWANKEY LIFTS HER DRESS TO REVEAL PEGS ALL OVER HER STOCKINGS.

 Cast - On a Friday.
Widow Twankey - Washing day.
Cast - At the weekend.
Widow Twankey - Washing day!
Cast - All week long, what’s to do?
Widow Twankey - I just want to make love to you!
Cast - Oooooohhhhhhh!
Widow Twankey - Love to you!
Cast - Oooooohhhhhhh! 

 CAST EXIT

 Widow Twankey – Come and get me boys!

WIDOW TWANKEY TURNS AND EVERYONE HAS GONE.

 Twankey - Typical!

 ALADDIN ENTERS

 Aladdin – Oh crikey!  It’s mum!
Twankey – Yes!  Crikey! It’s me!  Where have you been?
Aladdin – Out and about!
Twankey – Well I’m about to knock you out!  Get in the laundry and do some work!
Aladdin – Alright mum, in three minutes!
Twankey – Right!  You’ve got three minutes!  Oh no!  I forgot to go to Domti!  See you later!

 ALADDIN EXCERPT THREE

TRACK NINE    SONG (Everything I Do) I Do It For You
Aladdin – But I have got a heart that’s full of love for you.
Princess – Oh Aladdin.  I think that I love you too.
Aladdin – You do?  That makes me so happy!  I’m so lucky.

Aladdin - Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Princess - Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothing there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I’d give it all – I’d sacrifice

Aladdin & Princess - Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it - there's nothing I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Aladdin - There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love

Princess - There's nowhere - unless you're there
Aladdin & Princess - All the time - all the way

Princess – Oh Aladdin how can we ever be together?
Aladdin – Being with you would be the one thing that I would wish for.
Princess – Not even me, a princess could grant you that.
Aladdin – Just spending time with you now is so special.
Princess – Who knows, one day everything may change.
Aladdin – Maybe, and I’ll tell you one thing Princess; I’ll never give up hoping.
Princess – And neither will I. Aladdin, neither will I!

 

ALADDIN EXCERPT FOUR

Abanazar (Off stage) – Hello?  Is anyone there?
Widow Twankey – Oh I’m at a séance.
Abanazar (Off stage) – Hello?  Is anyone there?
Widow Twankey – Quick get the Tarot Board and the Ouija cards.

ABANAZAR ENTERS.  TWANKEY IS HAVING A MYSTIC MOMENT.

Widow Twankey – Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
Abanazar –
(ASIDE) I will wear this hat to increase my disguise.
Widow Twankey – Have you come from the other side?  What’s it like? Is there a Sainsbury's?
Abanazar - My name is Abanazar!  I am a mystic.
Widow Twankey – More like a mistake.
Abanazar - Good morning lovely lady.
Widow Twankey – Oh no! This is the laundry, the opticians is next door!
Abanazar - What beautiful creature am I addressing?

TWANKEY SLOWLY PEERS OVER HER OWN SHOULDER TO LOOK TO SEE WHO HE’S TALKNG TO.

Widow Twankey – Woof! Have you got your contact lenses in upside down?  Your name again?
Abanazar – Abanazar.

Widow Twankey – So Mr “have a banana” what can one do for you?
Abanazar – I am looking for Widow Twankey and her son.
Widow Twankey – Well look no further for I am she, and with a name like Twankey I need my tea.

WISHEE WASHEE ENTERS QUICKLY WITH A CUP OF TEA.

Wishee Washee – Cup of tea for you mum.
Widow Twankey – Ugghh it’s coffee!  It tastes like mud!
Wishee – Well it’s fresh ground!
Widow Twankey – And here is my son…Wishee Washee!  Wishee this is Mr Azerbaijan.
Wishee Washee – How do you do?
Abanazar – Abanazar!
Wishee – No thanks, not during the week.

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