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| Three Rants in one (and other random shit) |
Jan. 18, 2005
There are so many fuck ups these days when it comes to parents and it scares me. A liscense should be required to have kids. There are 6.5 billion people on this earth and that is far to many. A majority of these people are either shitty parents or have shitty parents, or, maybe both. Have you heard some of the stunts some of these little shits are pulling recently? Some kid mixed goat brains into a bottle of salad dressing at school. Another kid on the bus ride back to his house locked the bus door and proceeded to go on a joyride. Than their are the depressed ones who can't handle daily life and bring in guns because they are anti-social or stupid or both. Even worse, some parents are whipped by their kids. These parents buy their kids everything and stand idlly by as their kids swear at them or experiment with drugs and sex by their parents backs. As an adult, you are the bigger and older and (hopefully) smarter person, so how could you possibley let your kid get the upper hand and turn into a spoiled brat? I can't stand parents treating their kids like gods and subcumbing to every need the kid has. My friend from middle school would get dirt bikes, videogames, computers....whatever he wanted, he got! Where is he now you ask? In jail, because his parents couldn't gain control. But this just proves my point that not every adult is capable of rasing children and should probably think long and hard before making a very big mistake.
This just in: North Carolina is a shitty state. I wouldn't go there in the winter if you paid me. After 3 inches of snow the whole damn state shut down. It was a critical state of emergency! Subway was closed at 7! SEVEN! wendys, open late, right? Wrong! It was closed before 9! Getting back on the road was a pain too. In Connecticut or Maine you drive faster, or at least the limit to avoid the brunt of the storm and get home. In North Carolina, keep in mind there are three inches now, you slow down...to 5 mph! It takes 90 minutes to go 5 miles! Traffic ended up being backed up for 12 hours...Need I say it again...for 3 inches of snow! And there wasn't a snow plow in sight the whole night I was there! All the hotels were taken and they were all sketchy. At the Days Inn a pakistan man was giving out mini heaters to folks who got rooms. Dennys was backed up three hours....THREE hours for sub par food? And never mind gas, there were at least three stations closed for no apparent reason. It wasn't cold, 30 degrees give or take, so I don't think the pipes froze. But there were no signs saying "Sorry we are closed." so people were stopping and trying to pump. At the waffle house the manger made people wait outside in the freezing cold. It was midnight and freezing and he wasn't letting people in because apprently, it would be against fire codes. You couldn't even go into the waiting room, but you were forced to wait there cause it was the only place open past 8 or 9. Other hotels were filled with hundreds and hundreds of people in the lobbies, it was painful to see how the state goes down the shitter for three inches. I would love to see them in a Nor-Easter, the idiots would die! Wow, North Carolina was terrible and I never want to go again, way to many hicks and nascar freaks. I think S.Carolina is a little toned down as far as hicks but its also above Georgia, which is full of miles of nothing, ten churches, a waffle house and many more miles of nothing with hicks scattered around.
Commercials are so lame. I can't believe people watch them and look foward to them (during the superbowl especially). One that pisses me off is that Plane commercial where some lame ass is quoted as saying "You are now free to move about the country." Oh, and when was I not "free to move about the country"? Damn, who says that anyways, "Move about the country." That is so stupid. I really don't need to hear your assinine quote before I realize that I have the freedom to travel. Because I know so many people sit home for days until they hear that commercial and realize that suddenly, "they are free to move about the country" as if its a newly learned fact. Well, I will "move about the country" whenever I want! And hopefully it will be at a time when its an inconvience for whoever made that commercial. Because I would love nothing else than to hear them say, "Halt, you are not free to move about the country" and travel anyways, because they just come off as power controlling nazis in that commercial.
Update (Jan, 20, 2005): Not really a rant, just the fact that my friend Ryan is the man. I bet he just sits on the crapper all day at work and still makes money. I mean, how can you get in trouble for doing that? It's not like your boss can say, "Dude, you take to long to take a shit, you're fired!" My point is, they can't! What a beautiful loop hole! |
| Top 5 cliche plot lines in movies |
Dec. 21, 2004
These are some of the many things that are far to cliche in movies:
1. Parodies: They just aren’t funny any more because for every serious movie there is, there is a parody on it. It isn't an intelligent or innovative because there are so many. Its an old, boring concept.
2. Disaster movies: Everything is going well at first than a meteor/warhead/tidal wave/or something else threatens the entire earth. Just when all hope is lost some average self doubting white guy, with a million to one shot, saves the earth at zero hour and a happy ending ensues. And why does the black guy always die first in these movies?
3. Sports movies: There are always the movies with the really bad underdog team that somehow rebounds. Weather it be because of a new star player, a coach or lots of inspirational practice and speeches. Of course the team will face some adversary like a stolen play book or injured player but they end up winning the game on a dramatic last second shot or bottom of the ninth home run.
4. College movies: Always about some kid who has been at college far to long and lives it up so much that he risks not passing. Something happens, weather he is accused of cheating or, maybe some big test looms or his fraternity is on the verge of being closed by his evil dean, sometimes all three. Like the disaster movie, the kid and his surrounding friends find a way to help him out at the last second and dig up some random obscure fact about the dean to get him fired in the process. So he passes the test/gets his fraternity back and somewhere in there gets "the girl" back after almost losing her. Those are pretty much the cliches for every college movie.
5. Chick Flick: Guy meets girl or vise versa or Guy meets guy or girl meets girl. Everything goes great until a giant screw up. At this point, throw in third wheel and a lot of crying. The movie accumulates with the good person doing a huge stunt to win the significant other back with a cheesy ending to follow. There are just no surprises in these movies.
honorable mention: There are also the action flicks with the bad guy who seems good at first but has some secret motives that eventually get revealed when the hero finds out he is screwed over. A big gun fight happens and the hero, despite getting shot or beaten, sends the bad guy to jail/heaven and than he gets the girl in the end. |
| I highly doubt your college cafe sucks as much as mine!
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Dec. 16, 2004
Just when I thought my school couldn't get any worse, it pulls another stunt to piss me off even more. I realize that almost every school complains about food but I know my café has the worst policies possible. Since the food sucks, I got the lowest meal plan possible, ten. For almost the entire year, I would only go five or six times a week, nine or ten max. But at times, you are low on cash and need to go more. Unfortunately, if you have used your ten meals for the week, the café will turn you away and basically leave you starving. Which is lame because there are so many weeks in the past where I had upwards of six or seven unused meals. Now why can't at least two or three unused meals roll over into a new week, much like cingular has roll over minutes? I am paying so much money to go to this place, the least they could do is accommodate the students a little better and make sure the students are well fed and happy.
Now go to this link and read it! http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/news/york/041122college.shtml
Hmmm....Maybe kids are depressed because you don't fucking feed them!!!!! I just got turned away today because my ten meals have been used and I am enraged! Another policy which absolutely needs changing is the policy of taking food out. I literally have to sneak food out in a back pack, it’s a covert operation but it shouldn't be like that! They have no reason to be such nazi's about taking food out. Its my money and I want my food that my money paid for! I sneak food out because the café closes at 6:30 and I find myself getting hungry at 11 or 12 and need a snack after studying. If they don't want kids to sneak food out, open the café longer! That way kids wouldn't sneak food out like I know they do and you could use the money you save by negating stolen food to get more competent workers.
The flex dollars are the worst. They just don't add up. For 17 meals you get $75 in flex dollars which can be used at some junk food joint on campus, it kinda sucks but is better than the café. For my 10 meal plan, I get $155. So in one week I lose seven meals at the café, one meal is worth, and lets be modest, $5. So in one week, I forfeit $35 at the café. Yet I only get an extra $80 throughout the year in flex cash. In less than three weeks you make up the difference and for the rest of the year, are screwed out of seven meals. Think about it, it doesn't measure up! |
| A lame Policy is becoming more prevalent at many colleges |
Nov. 14, 2004
There is a stupid policy at my college where students can only get into the dorms that they live in with their ID cards. I thought this was a fairly rare policy but I have been finding that many other colleges have this policy or are going to soon. This is dumb for many reasons. Obviously, students are going to need to get into other dorms, if for nothing else, to do work. For instance, I remember going to Clark where they are disallowing access to every dorm starting next semester. Now if you allowed access to all dorms you would at least know that only students were getting in, as long as they had an ID card, obviously. But now, students won't be able to get into other dorms and students will be letting in random people, regardless of weather they are a student or total wacko. My point is, there is no way of telling if the person trying to get in is legit or not. So this rule which is supposed to be for safety reasons is probably going to endanger people more than it is helping people. This also kills campus life as dorm wars are rendered impossible. As damaging as they sometimes are, its all in good fun and makes the campus a more desirable place to be. Email me if with your opinions!
| My Highschool Sucks, does yours? |
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Oct. 30, 2004
update: April 29, 2005: Okay, I got an email the other day from a former classmate. I am just kidding! Just being a smartass, don't take it to heart...
Although I don't like labels, other people seem to put themselves into easy to define labels. These are some of the types of people in a typical highschool that I noticed:
The class clowns: They have such terrible self esteems that they will willingly degrade themselves in exchange for even the most subtle giggles. Total population: 4%
The dumb jocks: They are characterized by their bumbling ways and obnoxiously loud voices. Yet they always get away with stuff like failing a test because they are on a school team. Total population: 10%
The pretend intellectual: These kids try to act smart and usually fool the jocks at the very least. In turn the jocks beat on the "intellectuals" until the wrong answers are given. These kids are characterized by their un-nessecary usage of complex words and quoting Nietzsche out of context. Total population: 3%
The goths, punks, hardcore and emo kids: These people are either far to sad to do anything or to busy trying to be rebellious, by skating around school all day. They usually smell bad and aren’t very social outside their respected groups. Total population: 14%
The wannabe college kids: These kids think its cool to sneak a 6 pack of Budweiser into the woods in an attempt to hide from the police. Yet they blast crappy music and wear t-shirts with colleges that they will never attend. They try to make their boring bon-fire filled weekend into an epic booze fest every Monday but their stories turn into snooze fests in the end. Total Population: 14%
The nerds: These guys can be sick, they spend their time hacking Aol and masturbating to computer magazines. If they stepped outside they’d realize there is a world outside of their desk. They have no social skills as they are always talking about something dumb. Total Population: 4%
Stoners and hippies: And not just the casual stoners, but the hardcore "420" types. These kids are always out of it. Even if they are awake, they try to sound deep but end up sounding like morons by saying shit like "The sun is the moon in reverse." Way to go Eienstein, now go back to sleep. Total population: 6%
Wannabe stoners and hippies: These kids are so pathetic. They think wearing a phish shirt alone will make them a laid back hippy. They always go to Dave Matthews shows. Total population: 12%
The (obvious) class sluts: These girls typically take 3 or even 4 day weekends because they are "tired". Enough with the skimpy outfits, not everyone wants to see your already sagging tits. Total population: 10%
The (less obvious) class sluts: They come to class and try to act civil...until the weekend rolls around, than its sausage fest for them. These girls can be sweet on the outside but they are all the same on the inside. Total population: 15%
The chill people: These are the down to earth people. But because the rest of the school is so oblivious, they will never realize it, only because the chill people don’t do what is trendy or laugh at the stupid class clowns. Chill is just one word as this group has no particular label They could care less about reputations most of the time. Total population: 8%
What do you think, is your highschool like this?: carld18@yahoo.com |
| Keep your private life private |
Oct. 21, 2004
I was walking back from a friend's dorm earlier tonight and as I was entering my room, I spotted yet another person struggling with a relationship. Granted we all struggle with relationships, but do you really have to make it all public and sit out in the hallway for everyone to hear? Its not as if I even want to hear whats happening, but everytime I enter or leave my room to go to the bathroom or do laundry, some sucker is bitching to their boy/girl friend out in the hallway. Everywhere I go some asshole is making a private conversation public by talking on the phone at lunch or the movies or anywhere else.
And another thing, turn your freaking cell phones off when you are at a movie or concert. Everytime, without fail, some idiot leaves it on and it rings some stupid Nelly ring tone at the most inappropriate times. What is so important that can't wait an hour or two? Probably just another person who wants the whole world to know that they are in a relationship. It’s as if these people won't find any other way to put meaning into their life, so they have to force innocent bystanders into the role of intruders.
In closing, your relationship isn't that important. Go sit in your room and listen to emo. Emo sucks so much. |
| Wise up! |
Oct. 15, 2004
We've all been in those annoying situations where we are with a large group of people and everyone in the group knows a kid, except you. Usually this happens in a college setting with a group of kids from the same general area (Northern Mass for instance) and the kid in question is from their hometown (and was probably to dumb to go to college.)
Instead of listening to lame stories about a kid I'd probably rather not meet, I like to invite my way into these conversations. I often mention a bland, genereic characteristic about the person in question. For example: "Oh, Jimmy is one dumb son of a bitch." This almost always draws the reply, "How'd you know that about Jimmy, you know Jimmy???" At this point, I have control of the conversation and can steer in the direction I want, away from people I don't know or care about.
This is also a good stratagey because a lot of girls I know gossip about people I've never met and than proceed to ask advice on how to solve a problem with that person. Hello jackass, I don't know the person so its hard to give advice when I only know part of the conflict, geez. Besides, its probably about an asshole boyfriend or something. I refuse to be that shoulder to cry on and I don't like hearing about morons and dumb shit they do. You can't anaylze a situation without first seeing the personalities of every person first hand.
Oct. 12, 2004
We've all heard of mothers against alcohol or mothers against drugs or what not and those programs are fine (I suppose). But just the other day I stumbled upon a truely pathetic website where the moms in question are against a single website. What site is that you may ask? Hardcore gang bangs? No. Bomb making? No. Give up? http://www.maddox.xmission.com/ . Take a good honest look at it. Than go to http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/mam/main.htm . Take a look at the site. A little over the top, huh?
Heres my take on Mrs. Beth Robbins (I sent this email three weeks ago, which she failed to respond to):
There is a little something called the first amendment. That is whats so great about the good old USA, the right to free speech (freedom of the press as well)! I get annoyed when people try to stop others from exercising that right. Instead of wasting your time with Maddox, you should be boycotting the sites that are truly bad, like hardcore porn sites and sites that show kids how to make destructive devices. If you spent more time raising your children they would know better than to take Maddox seriously. If your child is depressed there is probably a little more than one website at fault, maybe something more serious such as years of bad parenting. I am sick of lazy parents taking their anger out on websites that aren't afraid to be a little objectionable. Your kid is going to come across many bad things much worse than Maddox in his life, let him experience life and deal with those problems himself. If you did a good job raising him, he'll turn out fine in the end. But you can't hide your little baby from negative influences forever, especially once he's out in the real world.
Thank you and remember to do something a little more constructive with your time, like raising your kids, so they don't look up legitimately bad sites while your making your own site. Stop pushing your morals on folks with a sense of humor.
So thats the email. Honestly, you have to be an idiot to take Mr.maddox suriously. Yes, he is smart and he is very funny but its just a bunch of BS in the long run, and its just there to make folks laugh and realize how uptight they are. So support maddox!
Also, most of the people who signed Beth's pathetic petition are actually against her and are making fun of her petition by writing fake names with anti-Beth comments. Be sure to take 10-15 minutes if you are bored and look through the signatures for a laugh. |
| You call that a college? |
April 28, 2004
It is almost time to pack up my stuff, leave college and go back home. I had a lot of misconceptions about this place, the University of New England. One: That it's an actual college. What kind of college town is Biddeford? There isn't a coffee shop or pizza shop near the campus. The closest food joint is the piece of shit papa johns ten miles away. The town of Biddeford is filled with such morons too!!! Biddeford is a college town but it isn't apparent. No one has set up shop right outside the campus (with the exception of Star Market) even though it is obvious that any half decent business would prosper.
None of the students are politically active. Granted, I never expected this place to be like "PCU" (it's a movie about a college that would kick the crap out of UNE) I did expect to see some fliers about this and that and the occasional protest.
Even worse, no one is here on the weekends and parties are all lame. The kids that are left are assholes you don't even know begging for beer you don't feel like giving away for free.
My friend went to Umass. One dorm is 22 stories high. And there are three others just like that. One dorm would fit the UNE population. They also have 4 cafes. The smallest one is 10 times bigger than our pathetic excuse for a cafe with a food a trillion times better. My friend drank himself stupid and quarter locked doors. If you try that here and you would get thrown out. But pranks are a way of life at actual colleges. This one prank me and a friend did was condemned, even though this place sorely needs pranks and mischief. My friend partied until 5 in the morning at Umass and woke up to screaming all over campus at 8. People were throwing shit out the window or plain throwing up. It was crazy, like a real college should be! But here, we have security locking down on us for shitty jam fest, a pathetic attempt to look like a real college.
For those reasons, I hope to transfer as soon as possible. The one thing keeping me back for first semester is the fact I got into a quad with my girlfriend, so I will see how that goes for a semester. But so many of my friends: Jasmine, Alyce, D, Lydia, Ryan, Keith (and the list goes on with people I know and people I don't know) are getting the HELL out of this place because it sucks.
Wise up UNE: Become a college town with restaurants and shops, increase in size, turn your shoulder to normal weekend partying cause it isn't that bad and lastly, encourage pranks!....Or you will continue to lose people.
Oh, and how can this school be so cold as to kick kids out with weeks remaining? Granted I don't know a lot of the kids who got kicked out, but still, what the hell? So what if a kid smokes a little pot? They don't do much harm, and less than some of the drunken fools on campus. I can't believe this place would be so cold to just tell a kid to leave without saying anything else or giving them another chance. |
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