Feb. 18, 2005

Its quite simple.  Read the question and answer yes or no.  It will require some memory because I also ask if you have done each thing more than once.  But just keep a running tally and see the list after the quiz, that will tell you how good of a friend you are.

1. Have you ever befriended someone, hung out for a while, only to get what you need and than leave and never talk to that person again? This can be a one time deal (sex) or many small things (booze, money, favors). Add 10 points. 30 for multiple offenses.

2. Have you blamed a friend for something that was your fault? Add 4 points. 12 for multiple offenses.

3. Have had sex with a friends significant other? Add 20 points. 80 for multiple offense

4. Do you talk behind your friends back or make fun of them to their faces? Add 3 points. 9 for multiple offenses.

5. Do you bitch about being ignored when you yourself have made no effort to keep in touch. Add 6 points. 18 for multiple offenses

6. Do you hang out with someone just to leech off them and meet other people or gain certain advantages you otherwise wouldn’t gain by yourself. Add 5 points. 15 for multiple offenses

7. This question is a lot like number one, except you steal what you need (15 points. 60 points for multiple offenses) and either a) never talk to that person again (10 more points, or 40 more for multiple offenses) or b) act oblivious and continue being friends (8 more points, 24 more for multiple offenses)

8. Have you ever started a friendship out of sympathy? add 2 point. 6 for multiple offenses.

9. Do you ever make empty promises? 1 point. 3 for multiple offenses

10. Have you used the line "lets be friends"? 9 points. 27 for multiple offenses.

11. If you fail to tell a person off that can be kind of bad as it leaves them hanging.  Have you done something like this?  Add 8 points, 24 for multiple offenses.

12. Have you ever lied about caring about a so called friend when in reality you could care less? Add 7 points, 21 for multiple offenses.

---Now add up your score and scroll down to the comment that applies to you.  Read the others for shits and giggles because they are funny, trust me!

Meter and comments

300 or more: Holy crap dude, either you suffer from acrophobia and have no friends or you are a serial killer and murdered all your friends. You freak!

250-299: You are lucky if you have one good friend. You probably ruin things by using people left and right and acting like a self centered shit head. People like you are not worth getting to know.

200-249: You are probably one of those "woe is me" goth people who hang out with other people who have gloomy outlooks on life. Get some sun, stop shopping at Hot topic and learn to communicate with the rest of the world.

150-199: You probably have quite the mean streak which will turn a lot of people away. I am sure you have one or two bad qualities that really stinks and will leave you in the realm of social meritocracy for ever. I’m sure a lot of jocks will score in this area as they attract some people but alienate themselves from many other worthwhile people, mainly those who know how to be better friends.

100-149: You are probably a decent person who gives most people a shot. But there is probably one or two dark spots in your past. Either that, or you are capable of screwing someone over in the future. However, you are civil to most people.

50-99: Again, you have made a few mistakes, maybe not as severe as most or even as many, but that still doesn’t leave you in the clear. Still, you are worth getting to know as you have a good out look on life for the most part

20-49: The thing that will make you a good friend is you have probably never made a bad mistake and probably aren’t capable of making a bad mistake with friends, granted you make some. You are one of the few that has an amazing outlook on life and treat others with respect.

1-19: Wow! You only hurt people if they have hurt you very badly. And even than, you are probably willing to forgive and put a stop to any difficulties. If you are a girl, you are a very big sweet heart. If you are a guy, you are wicked easy going and very cool. A score this low is rare I am guessing a person of your caliber is very rare.

I’ll even take the test!

My score: 65

Email me your scores, carld18@yahoo.com or get me on aim, pinkfloydmeddle5

...and don't forget to take my bitch test below if you haven't already.

*The long lost date: This was made, Feb. 26, 2004

Answer the questions and keep a running total of your points.  [My comments are in the brackets] - To keep with the theme, I'll be saying bitch a whole lot.

1. Have you ever dumped a boy on his birthday?  (Yes - 10) (No-0)   [If you answered yes than you're already pretty deep in the hole, bitch]

2. If you answered yes to the first question, did you even know it was his birthday?  (Yes - 15) (No - 18)  [Don't tell me you answered NO...because I'm sure you've never thought twice about throwing a fit if he didn't get you exactly what you wanted.  If you anwsered yes, you couldn't wait one freakin' day?

3. Have you ever even thought of dating an old geezer?  (Yes - 25) (No - 0)  [Fuck true love, you dated him for the money, asshole]

4. Do you interrupt your boyfriend when he's watching the (big game)?  (Yes - 12) (No - 0)  [But you have no qualms about sitting his ass down for a lame chick flick.  Titanic?  Thats worth at least five football seasons!]

5. Do you call your boyfriend every day? (Yes - 5) (No - 5)  [Well, if you do, knock it off.  We have a life and we will call you if it's important.  Besides, how many different ways can we say we love you? (cause it's hard to love a bitch).  If you answered no, than you are probably to busy sleeping around to call.  Oh well, all the easier to dump your bitchy ass.

6. Have you lied at all during the first five questions?   [Don't worry, admitting your mistakes won't hurt you].....(Yes - 0) (No - 0) [See?...If you said yes, than good for you!]...

...[NOT!  Tricked you!  You are a mega bitch for thinking you could lie!  You are a bitch in denial which is worse than your average run of the mill bitch.  Add 18 points, mega bitch]

7. Have you slept with more than one guy in a night? (Yes - 20) (No - 0)  [Did I hear a yes?  Not only are you a bitch, but you're a slut too.  If you refused to answer than obviously you are hiding something, so you're a liar too.  In fact, you probably lied numerous times, including on question 6, you lying slutty bitch! 

8. Do you say "Talk to the hand"? (Yes - 8) (No - 0)  [Talk to the hand?...Nice argument bitch ass]

9. Have you ever kicked a guy in the balls?  (Yes - 50) (No - 0)  [Under no circumstances do you go there!  There are plenty of places to hit, you bitch!  How about I stick a few nails in your pussy, bi-atch!]

10. Do you talk like this: "U R so kool, 2 kool 4 me, R ugoin to tha partay?"              (Yes - 9) (No - 0)  [If so, than you're known as a dumb bitch.  Probably to dumb to read this quiz with the exception of portions of question 10.

Bitch Meter

175 points:  Wow, congrats, they don't come much worse than you!  You sleep with numerous guys than knee them in the balls on their birthday and than dump them only to call them and bitch them out during the super bowl...What a bitch!

150-174 points:  That's a pretty bad point total, but you can take solace in the fact that some where out there, there is a bigger bitch than you.  Still, you might as well resort to being a lesbian since not many guys will even look in your direction.  (Gotta keep your balls intact.)

125-173 points:  You are a mega bitch.  At times, you can be bearable, but mostly you are far too annoying and slutty to deal with.

100-124 points: Some crazy guy will find something to like about you.  However, any lasting relationship is doubtful, since you will eventually ruin things by talking through Family Guy or sleeping around.

75-99 points:  Good job, you got under 100 points.  Still, you are probably bitchy enough to brag to all your friends about that.

50-74 points: You are a fairly nice girl but you have your moments.  A little warning would be nice when those moments occur!  If someone pisses you off you may do something extreme, but for the most part, you aren't bad.

25-49 points: Wow, you are among the minority!  You are a cool girl who makes the occasional bitchy mistake.  You can be a bitch but you usually keep to yourself and act civil around others.

1-24 points: You are a chill girl and not much bothers you.  However, you are not in the clear, as you have made a few mistakes in your life, so don't celebrate!

0 points:  Good job, you are never a bitch!....NEVER....Oh wait, yes you are....because zero points is impossible!  You suck!  You are a bitch disguised as a nice girl!  For lying about a perfect score add 500 points, asshole!