September 15, 2004

Dear Oprah,

            I am writing to you about a very close friend of mine, who has become

"my sister in life", she  is very dear to me and  has been suffering from breast

cancer for almost 4 years now. Her name is Ulrike, she is 41 now, and she is the

kindest, most warm-hearted person I have ever known. I would like to share

 my story about Uli with you, in hopes that a show on breast cancer awareness

is aired. Uli was diagnosed with estrogen based breast cancer in 2001, and

is still fighting for her life. Uli and I were coworkers at a large medical

company.

We were not close friends to begin with, the way we became friends

 was just a matter of being in the right place at the right time I suppose, well,

 destiny or "The Path" is what I call it. Everything happens for a reason, and

it is my belief that no matter how things happen good or bad there is

 some grand plan for all of it but we just don't know at the time what it is.

Well, I was visiting some friends of ours, about 3 years ago, and Uli happened

to be there and she asked if she could talk to me. I knew she had been very

ill with the cancer and didn't know too much about her situation.

That day began our friendship. I had found out over time that so much

devastation had interrupted  her life. I learned that her husband

of many years had asked for a separation

simply because he could not handle her illness. Believe me, I can

 understand this,  as not everyone is strong enough to handle these situations.

 She had moved from her home, to the office that she was now working at,

since the business we had  worked for, closed its doors.

 After having gone through chemo and radiation and then dealing with

the status of her marriage, Uli was still pushing herself

from this day to the next, and it was hard to believe, that someone this ill still

had the inner strength to fight for her life.  The friends that she had, turned their

 backs on her. I suppose they just couldn't handle the situation either, I don't know.

 But what I do know is that she was crying out for help and for her to do this is

not an easy task. Uli is the type of person who puts everyone else first,

no matter what! Even as she is gravely ill. How many people do

I know like this? None that I can think of. Her mind and body barely

 hanging on. But something inside her kept pushing, and still continues

to push. I don't know how she continues, where she gets the strength and

the stamina to keep going. Anyone else with stage 4 breast cancer and all the

issues she had and still has to deal with would push you over the edge.

Im sure most people would just give up, I often ask myself the same question,

 what would I do? Give up possibly. Besides being ill, her husband

wanted do keep everything for himself, and fought Uli as do assets in the home,

and trying do force her out of their home as to ease his pain

and erase their past life together, as to make her suffering even harder.

I believe he even told her once  while she was going through the first

 round of cancer that she would be better off dead so her suffering will be over. 

 Uli had left her career in New York  to come to Florida with her

husband, and left behind her second family to

please her husband, only because this is how she is always putting

others before her, no matter what.

 I have learned so much about her, have seen what a wonderful person

she is and for me it takes a long time to become close to someone to be

able to trust them, I trust Uli with my life, and for me to say that and mean

it is quite a miraculous undertaking. That reminds me of something

Uli told me that happened to her in New York, where she actually

had 2 or three jobs, just to keep afloat. She bought a car from a

complete stranger and this person offered  to co-sign the car loan

for her! Imagine that, and in New York city no less,  this woman just

 asked one thing of Uli and that was to help someone else in

need, this reminds me of that movie "Pay it forward" I often wonder if this is

how that movie came about. Through the divorce and all that she has been

struggling with, she still keeps a smile on her face and continues to

help everyone  around her, I don't know how she does it.

 Uli enriches my life and so many others on a daily basis.

 I cannot imagine life without her. She is going through  her 3rd

round of cancer. After they had gotten rid of the breast cancer it had

spread to her liver within barely a year. Then it was back to chemo weekly,

she was still having chemo every three weeks, and was hopeful to be back to

normal. But, that wasn't what happened, chemo every week and on

top of that, more complications and its just a never ending battle.

Then again several months later after hoping to be free from the liver

cancer it began to come back again, she is still going through weekly chemo,

 and its so difficult to watch the suffering as it affects your brain as well

 as your body, simple words, writing, reading and day to day activities

become unbearable at times, and for an extremely otherwise, mentally

and emotionally strong person, it just seems unreal and I often ask

"Why" why does this happen to someone like this who is just the most

admirable human,  who loves animals and people so much she would do

absolutely anything for them, I just don't know why, and at times it really

frustrates me, Can you even begin to imagine what she is going through?

Uli has used so many resources out there, American cancer society to

 all the cancer websites and all other sources to help herself as well as others.

I still have to scold her to take care of you, put yourself first for a change,

she is very stubborn.

Uli's family lives in Germany, so she has her friends who have become

her family, her true friends the ones who go through thick and thin for you

who are there for you no matter what, as this is how she is with

me and everyone she cares about.

One thing I would love to see is for Uli to have a makeover, and something

special just for her. She deserves some pampering as this is something she

would never dream of splurging on herself, well if she could afford it,

which she cant, she would rather see someone else pampered, its just the

selflessness in her, I honestly have never known anyone so caring and

big hearted. I want her to be spoiled for a change, she so deserves it after

all she has been through, if I went through losing my hair twice, that in itself

 is a nightmare. Losing your identity as a woman, losing a breast, and your

hair so many times, in its own right is a horrific experience.

Uli, just keeps going, sometimes I just think about what can I do?

To be helpless and watch someone  so close suffer, who still keeps

that smile on her face and helps all others,  and doesn't complain,

I think how the hell does she do it?

Another request I have (as you have so many followers) is for the public

to be aware Of these people who become seriously ill. I have seen so many

shows and concern for the celebrities that we often hear about, the most recent

that comes to mind is Jane Pauley with her bipolar disorder, well that's great

 that she, so to speak "comes out of the closet" by the way, I also have a

close friend who is bipolar and has suffered and struggled with life and

 still does.  What about the average person, sure there are shows about weight

loss, and family issues and the everyday stress of living,

but I have not yet seen a show or too many articles in magazines or

on the radio that openly speaks, and is not afraid to bring these things

 out in the open. My goal is also to get some sort of relief from the

facilities who bombard you with bills, and insurance rates skyrocket and

everyone has their hand out, maybe if you aired a show of this sort,

more awareness would reach the world, and government and

states would make some sort  of effort to help these people out.

Of course many of these average people  who become seriously ill

work very hard, and are pretty much good people. 

 I'm even talking about other diseases and illnesses, that make life very hard

and day to day living so difficult that at times you just want to give up it seems

easier that way.  We are "real", average people and to watch someone suffer

who I care about is very difficult. Especially when they go through this for years,

and the cancer keeps coming back, or the illness just won't go away.

Every day living is so hard, when you cant possibly work, and if you could work,

 how are you supposed to take time off every week to have chemo or other

forms of therapies? Paying for these things is so expensive, that in itself would

 make a lot of folks just "give up" Please have another show on breast cancer

 awareness and other illnesses that devastate peoples lives, we need to reach

 out to the world and let them know these are ongoing issues and not to bury

them under the rug or disregard them as they were just not important. My goal

 as well as Ulis goal is to help others in these situation, Uli wants to help women

and families who have gone through this, so that they might not have to suffer

as much and go through so much hardship as she has and still goes through on

a daily basis.

Sincerely,

Lauri Nally    

http://www.freewebs.com/lnally/