Tour Details

Personnel

    Mabel           French         Jimmy B          Ted               FBT           B. Fallo       Crampton       Mufty

Tour Details

Outbound

The outbound flight departs from Coventry at 06:30 Monday 4th July.  Check in is no later then 04:30 so we need to get there at 4am. This means we will have to leave Norwich at 1am.

We will arrive at 09:50 (local time) and will have to get 2 taxi's to Palma Nova to our Hotel (taxi's are 20 euros each)

On the first morning we will have to contact Mallorca cricket club to arrange to meet one of their players to go through the cricket details.

The Hotel

The hotel we are staying in is called The Don Bigote Hotel situated in Palma Nova which is a 5/10 minute walk to the resort of Magaluf.  We have 4 twin rooms so we will have to split up into 'couples'.

The Games

We have two tour matches whilst we are out on tour,

One 40 over match agaisnt Mallorca Cricket Team on Wednesday afternoon

One Twenty20 match agaisnt a fellow touring team called Barnard Castle from Durham. The day of game has yet to be confirmed.

If we wish to have a net session before our first match we will need to organise that on Monday with Mallorca Cricket Club.

Inbound

Our flight back leaves Palma at 10:30 so we will need to get there for 08:30 to check in.

We shall arrive back at 11:55 (BST) time and should be back in Norwich/ Yarmouth by 4pm, fit and ready for the league game on Saturday.

Tour News

15/06/05 TED GETS SOME MUCH NEEDED PRACTICE IN FOR THE MAGALUF CRICKET TOUR!

Mark Johnson has been hard 'at work' getting some much needed practice in before the Caister International Cricket tour to Magaluf in 2 weeks time.  Witnesses close to Johnson have indicated that he has recently been spending hours upon hours in his bedroom, spending time on what he has been stated as saying 'perfecting his technique for the tour'.  These comments at the time were taken as perfecting his cricketing shots to play whilst on tour and in League games for Caister. 

Suspicions began to raise however when his performances on the pitch did not rise in standard and noises in his room became more and more robust.  Upon invistagition it was found that he had not in fact been practising his cricketing technique but his sexual technique on his doll Angelina (Picture below).  Once asked about this Johnson showed no remorse and even boasted that he technique was now up to scratch and that the girls in Magaluf better watch out becuase Super Ted is on his way! 

25/06/05 MABEL TONSILLITIS SHOCKER THREATENS TOUR PARTICIPATION!!!

Early on Saturday morning Mabel was rushed to Norwich University Hospital with a severly swollen throat which was inhibiting his breathing.  Under examination a severe case of tonsilitus was diagnosed and he was prescribed strong antibiotics to combat the bacterial infection.  Unfortunately this caused him to miss out on his week long 'relaxing' break to San Antonio, Ibiza and Caister's league game against Topcroft A.  The antibiotics are now starting to take effect thankfully and he should be fully fit for the upcoming Magaluf tour.  Everybody can now relax as the big hitter should be there.  Get ready for the fireworks!!!

              THE HOLIDAY/ TOUR/ TRAINING CAMP HAS ARRIVED!!

Monday 4th July

HEADLINES OF THE DAY:

KBJ SHOCKER AS HE PUKES FIRST, TEAM HAS INTENSE FRISBEE SESSION WHICH MUFTY LATER REGRETS, THE FRENCH EXPRESS WAS RUN OVER BY PARKED CAR AND MUFTY MOLESTS EVERY GIRL IN MAGALUF

                                  The boys have just arrived and its straight to the bar

Long shot outsider B.Fallo won the Caister CC chunder stakes last night by hurling his guts up first.  This was not down to the 10 pints of Stella he downed throughout the day, but due to "an allergic reaction to the butter in his mashed potato, and too much meat".  The day generally went ok for the Caister boys with a day long frisbee session on the beach and a very, very heavy session last night.  Mufty was the first casualty of the night. After downing 2 sambucas in a row after losing out on a game of pool with Jim, Mufty was seen soon after slumped in the corner of a room bawling his eyes out begging for water.  The night out is very hazy at best after the many shots and pints but I will briefly go through the main incidents of the night.  Top headline must be that the French Express was truely derailed last night as his drink was sabotaged time after time.  He reached near enough rock bottom, and this was emphasised when on the way back home he was "run over" by a parked car.  His injuries are not known to be life threatening but he is feeling very ill. Mufty was also a major casualty of the night as he was seen molesting everything in sight and not necessary female.  We are now preparing for the 40 - 40 game versus Mallorca Cricket Club which has been switched to tomorrow. The temperature is going to be close to 100f so we may need some help.  I am very very ill.  There could be a sick on the pitch.

Tuesday 5th July

HEADLINES OF THE DAY

CAISTER WIN ON LAST BALL AGAISNT MALLORCA CRICKET CLUB, KERRY THE BLACKPOOL DANCER PLAYS PRANKS ON CRAMPTON, TEDDY & BUFFALLO AND MUFTY HAS PHONE SEX AT 7AM WITH EVERY GIRL IN THE HOTEL.

Team photo before the game - from left to right, Back Row - Teddy, Jimmy, Buffalo, Jack (Umpire),

      Front Row - TurboTennant (FBT), Mabel, The French Express, Crampton & Mufty

Caister CC were victorious in todays thrilling last ball contest at the Magalluf Oval.  In intense heat Caister won the toss and "wisely" chose to field first.  In a nutshell Mallorca were restricted to a respectable 223 for 5 on the quickest gravel outfield we have ever had the pleasure of playing on.  Everybody bowled well and done a great job in the heat.  Unfortunately there were a number of dropped catches, most notably by Mabel, Ted, Jim and KBJ. Turbo Tennant also provided one of the funniest pieces of fielding probably to ever have been witnessed by the Caister team.  Turbo was fielding at mid wicket and the batsmen lolly popped one up to him for a easy catch.  Unfortunately for him the sun got in his eyes and he turned his back to the ball, it then floated onto the back of his head which caused him to collapse on the floor and let out the gayest scream ever.  Other notable fielding incidents include myself ripping all the skin off my elbow after attempting another miraculous catch and KBJ letting the ball trickle past him for 4 when he just couldn't bend down.  Opening the batting for Caister were Jim and Muft.  Muft lasted 2 overs until Jim's racist side came out of the closet as he ran him out with a big grin.  Mufty was not happy!!! Ted came in and played the classic slip drive to good effect, he managed 11 untill he tried to moo a straight one over mid wicket and was 'plumb' LBW.  KBJ came in and lasted 2 balls until he hit a dolly lolly straight to the fielder.  This brought Mabel in with Jim and they batted sensibly and looked in no real trouble on a flat pitch and a rocket of a outfield.  Horror was soon to occur however when Mabel attempting a quick 2 was run out from a direct hit from the 60 yard boundary.  The score did not look good for caister - 100 for 4 with 20 overs to go and French was in bat!!!  He played a couple of typical express hoiks until he was stumped.  We then got some much needed help from the hired player Adam Legget from Mallorca Cricket Club.  He batted brilliantly with Jim and they looked to complete an amazing fight back.  Unfortunately he was out when victory was in touching distance.  Crampton came in and hit his first ever 4 but was then stumped and FBT was then run out completing a shuttle run down the middle of the wicket.  Caister were then required to score 2 runs to win off the last over with one wicket left.  Caister's second hired player 'Mike' came in to bat and saw off the first 5 balls, which left Caister needing 2 to win off the last ball, the pressure was on!!. Amazingly he managed to pierce the tight infield and scored a much needed 2.  Well done boys.  It was a great game. By the way Jim got a streaky 121 not out, which included running 4 of his players out, seeking individual glory. 

Scorecard :  Magalluf Cricket Club 223/5 (waiting on scorecard...)

Caister Innings...

J. Kerrison		Not Out	121
B. Patel		Run Out	0
M. Johnson	LBW	b Appleby	11
Keith Brown Jnr	c Barrow	b Appleby	0
S. Kerrison		Run Out	28
P. French	Stumped	b Mucklebury	17
Guest 1		Run Out	11
A. Crampton	Stumped	b Mucklebury	5
C. Tennant		Run Out	0
Guest 2		Not Out	2
Extras			29
	40 Overs	Total	224/8

Bowling : Day 8-2-44-0, Appleby 8-2-21-2, Barrow 8-0-33-0, Mucklebury 8-0-49-2, Frank 6-0-34-0, Leggett 2-0-21-0

CAISTER WON BY 2 WICKETS !!

After the game the Caister players spent another quiet night out in the streets of Magalluf.  After too much to drink in the club house they were finally chucked out at 11:30 a bit worse for wear.  The next two hours were spent listening to Muft Patel and KBJ moaning about how sore their legs were.  KBJ told everybody how he had a hole in his leg and that blood was pouring out of his wound whilst Mufty was screaming about his cracked toe nail.  Unfortunately the group split up and the only people who headed to the clubs were Mabel, Muft and Jim.  Far too much drink was consumed and the night is very, very hazy for all 3.  Highlight of the night though was finding a girl on the beach called Kerry from Blackpool who is a 'dancer'.  Somehow the 3 boys manged to persuade her to come back to the hotel to play a prank on the fellow Caister Team members.  First she walked into the room where Crampton was sleeping, she ripped the bed sheets off him and asked if he wanted some.  Crampton was half dead and was seen to look at her in disbelief and mutter 'shit' as he could not believe his luck.  Unfortunately for him nothing happened.  Next and the most notable prank was then played on KBJ.  Kerry knocked on his door and asked if he wanted something special.  Man Mountain came out and looked at his catch.  He then proceeded to slam the door in the poor girls face which smashed her against the wall and floor. She was in a daze and was not sure what was happening - Mufty then saw an opening and tried to take her to bed. Unfortunately for him she was not that bad and went home.  Mufty then decided to ring every girl in the hotel (at 6am) asking what they were wearing.  For some reason he did not succeed in his mission of the night which is too rude for this site.

Wednesday 6th July

HEADLINES OF THE DAY:

MUFTY CELEBRATES HIS 22ND BIRTHDAY BY GOING DOGGING ON MAGALUF BEACH AT 6AM, FRENCH ENQUIRES ABOUT 'THE WEDDING', JIM BREAKS TOE, MABEL LOSES MORE THAN HIS HANGOVER AT THE CRAZY GOLF AND IS BATTERED NEAR 2 DEATH AFTER SPIES FROM BANARD CASTLE CRICKET CLUB SEEK TO WIPE OUT CAISTER'S MAIN THREAT.

After the heavy drinking session last night Mabel, Mufty and Jim did not make it out of bed today till gone 12.  FBT on the other hand who decided for a early night last night, woke up at 9 and spent the whole morning hovering the pool on his lilo staring and dribbling at all the topless beauty’s who were sunbathing around the pool.  Most of these girls were young enough to be Tennant’s daughters but it did not seem to bother him one bit, infact it turned him on even more.  Once everyone was up it was decided that the boys would spend the afternoon playing a ‘fun’ but ‘very competitive’ game of crazy golf at the mega 54 holed course in Palma Nova.  Mabel however was not really feeling up for this challenge and wanted to do a ‘FBT’ around the pool all day.  After some gentle persuasion from Buffalo, which included putting Mabel through a wall with a lilo, S. Kerrison decided wisely to play. The group was split up into threes with Mabel stuck with the ultra competitive Express and ‘Dirty Trick’ Patel, Jimmy B had the delight of playing with fellow pro’s Turbo and Teddy whilst Buffalo was put with Claire and Crampton to make him win and hopefully stop moaning (if only!!!).  Unfortunately unbeknown to Mabel it was plotted behind his back that the person with the worst score on each round would have to neck tequila tonight before the boys went out.  Due to Mabel not knowing this and due to the fact that he is known as the ‘big risk taker of the team’ he did not take the game seriously and unfortunately came last in the group.  FBT won the round with a stunning round of putting, well done turbo.  The second round began and Mabel’s frustration started to show as he continued to miss a number of dollies.  Finally on hole 3 he just snapped when he missed a simple 1foot’er and gently let his club fall to the ground.  Imagine his horror however, as when the club touched the ground it flipped into the air and amazingly at that same time the wind suddenly picked up which somersaulted the club into the local river some 15 yards away.  Mabel dived into the river to try and save the club but was attacked by several killer carp and tortoises which caused him to give up the fight and climb out of the water.  He then borrowed French’s club for the rest of the round. It was not going to be Mabel’s day!!!  The rest of the round went along nicely without incident until the dreaded final hole came along which was 15 yards long with a massive drop at the bottom of the hole.  As each group finished their round each player congregated at the bottom of the hole watching the fellow teammates test their skill on the mountainous 18^th.  Crampton was second from last of the group and watched in boredom as the players before him tapped the ball down the hillside hoping to finish with a hole in one.  Instead of doing this Crampton went for power instead of precision and smashed the ball as hard as he could down the hole.  It went like a rocket and unfortunately smashed into Jimmy B’s little toe who was standing at the bottom of the hole.  He went flying into the cafeteria hopping on one leg whilst the rest of the players laughed their heads off.  After the hysterics the players decided that they were too tired to play another round so headed home for tea.  Claire won that round by the way and Ted came last.  French got beaten by a girl, French got beaten by a girl, French got beaten by a girl and by the way French got beaten by a girl.  After tea which included the average 10 plates worth of chicken for Mufty the boys decided for a brief powernap before they ventured out.  At 10:30 Mabel and Mufty woke up and went round the rooms to wake up the rest of the crew.  First was French who was in a very deep sleep, after at least 2 minutes of heavy shaking he awoke looking completely bamboozled shouting out ‘where’s the wedding at least 5 times in a row.  He then shut his eyes, opened them again and shouted out ‘Come on French, Sort It out, Where’s the Wedding?’  At this point Mabel and Mufty were quite scared, then thankfully he snapped out of his daze and remembered ‘Oh there isn’t a wedding is there, its Mufty’s birthday’.  Well done!.  After this Mabel woke the rest of the team up and they headed to the bar for drinks.  A lot of drinks were drunk including the very nasty tequila (Mabel had 3, Buffallo 2, FBT 2 and the rest 1) and the team was introduced to the bing, bong, bounce drinking game – Mufty lost out!.  The boys headed out and had a very entertaining time in the massive BCM Club which had a free drinks offer which was particularly enjoyed by the boys.  In all it was a top notch night which was unfortunately soured at the end of the night as Mabel was jumped and robbed of his camera and wallet as he walked home.  Not to much harm was done and it all makes the holiday much more rememberable. Most of the boys got back at around 6am and went straight to bed.  There was no sign of Mufty and it was assumed that he had pulled and was fulfilling his magaluf mission.  Unfortunately he came back at 7am not boasting about pulling a bird but telling Mabel in great detail about how he had spent the last 3 hours dogging on Magaluf beach!!  Good stuff Muft.  He said it was his best birthday ever.

Thursday 7th July

HEADLINES OF THE DAY:

CAISTER LOSE 25 OVER GAME AGAISNT BANARD CASTLE, PLAYERS TRY TO RECOVER FROM THE ANTICS OF THE NIGHT BEFORE AND A FEW OF THE TEAM GO OUT TRYING TO HELP MUFTY FULFILL HIS MAGALUF MISSION. 

At 4pm local time, Caister played the second and final match on tour against Banard Castle from Durham, in a 25 over a side match.  After last night's activities, the team was now decimated, and they were only able to field 6 players (all of which were now unfit, or carrying injuries, or hungover).  Mabel missed out due to his body blow injuries and The Express's lack of movement in his knee also forced him out of the game.  Jimmy soldiered on with a suspected broken toe, Mufty had multiple leg injuries, Fallo had 'a nasty gash on his inner thigh' and Ted, Crampton and FBT were still drunk.  After presumably losing the toss, Caister took to the field and within minutes wicketkeeper Crampton was down after taking a Muft Patel lollypop full on the knee, and was replaced behind the stumps by Jim after he completed his bowling spell.  The toffs rattled along at about 5 an over until the introduction of Ted and Crampton saw them post a final total of 175/6.  I have seen a number of wides from Ted in the 12 years I have played with him at Caister, but his attempted bouncer to their left hander has to go down as probably the worst ball ever bowled in a Caister shirt.  Too many vodka's down BCM from Teddy last night !!  Well bowled too Jim, KBJ, Muft and FBT however, as despite their fitness levels being through the floor, they still managed to put up a competitive performance in the field.

With only 6 batsman, it was a case of batting for pride, although when the toffs produced a £40 county ball to bowl with on the concrete surface, openers Jim and KBJ suspected the worst.  Banard Castle were obviously up for serious cricket, whereas the boys from the coast were here to have some fun.  Bouncers rained in on the due who fought gallantly until Jim perished for 17, and a tour average of 138.00.  Fallo played some great shots, although after 3 nights on the town and batting in the heat, quick running between the wickets was no longer a priority.  Ted was bowled attempting the drive, but Mufty smashed the bowling to all parts for a quick fire 34*, whilst Fallo recorded an excellent 57 before being caught behind.  The Caister innings closed on 136/4.

After the game the Caister players headed out to town for the last meal. 

Buffalo, Express, Ted and Crampton went to eat whilst Jimmy, Muft, Mabel and FBT went to have a quick drink in the bar opposite.  Unfortunately the ‘eaters’ of the group decided to go home after their meal which left the other 4 to paint the town red on the last night. The night sadly was a rather low key night with not much happening.  The boys did however manage to down a massive bucket of vodka red bull between them, meet some lovely nurses and learn of mufty’s number 2 Magaluf mission which was to beat up a chav!.  Regrettably for Muft neither of his missions materialized so it’s back to Bromley he goes looking to achieve his goals there.  The boys called it a night at 5am and looked to get some much needed shut eye before the 7am wake up call. After much consideration, Mabel and Muft decided not to go to sleep but to go 2 the beach one last time hoping to find muft a willing girl. No such luck I’m afraid.

Innings of Banard Castle:

Hopwood	c Patel	b Brown Jnr	24
Austin		b Patel	33
Hazel		b Tennant	14
Spowart		b Johnson	11
Clegg	c Guest	b Tennant	2
Hill		Not Out	7
Alexander		b Brown Jnr	46
Freter		Not Out	1
Extras			37
	25 Overs	Total	175/6

Bowling : Jim 5-1-23-0, B Fallo 5-0-28-2, Mufty 5-3-35-0, FBT 6-0-23-2, Ted 2-0-23-1, Crampton 1-0-20-0

Innings of Caister Cricket Club: