Blocked Out

So much in my life I blocked out

Like when my mother used to shout

It's okay I never was bored

Hallucinations not ignored

Never alone I had myself

Schizo, maybe, but, what the hell

I am lazy, I admit the obvious

And the subtle, like I've never been kissed

Or I did but I blocked it out

Always forgive without a doubt

 

No where to go and nothing to hide

Nothing to hug and no one to fight

I just want to go on

Here is my hand hold on

We'll make it together

Together, where ever

Come on

Let's go

No one

Will know

 

What if the world was perfected

Exactly the way it should be

How could you feel neglected

If God talked to you all friendly

Would you believe the nice bum

Telling you of more to come

What if you had a choice

To silence your own voice

If you could change the world

What would you do

Would you make it nicer

And fresher too?

I would leave it like it is

Misery makes it worth to live

But I can't change the world

I can't even change myself

As my life gets unfurled

People no longer help

Yeah

Thats okay

Its all good

 

No where to go and nothing to hide

No one to hug and no one to fight

I just want to go on

Here is my hand hold on

We'll make it together

Together, where ever

Come on

Let's go

No one

Will know

Caught With No Plot

I am about to be caught

In a life that has no plot

When life offers no heaven

Life can then only be hell

Like in 7-11

If time spoke, if time would tell

Or tell me what I should be

Tell me what I will become

Just please don't remind me

Where it is I'm coming from

 

No mouth may tell

About this hell

When can I be set away free?

When will they remember me?

 

Perhaps I am not the first

To say these words

Maybe now is not the worst

What if all of life is absurd

What if I am just cursed

Maybe it is not me

Who needs to be set free

Maybe it is wrong

Maybe it is true

What if this song

Belongs to you?

Now Hurt

And the stars tonight are so clear

Like I'm not suposed to be here

But the night is mine alone

And I can't pick up the phone

To let be known

All I've been shown

Because you're not awake

And now I feel so fake

What will it take

To make you break

I need to convince you

This can not continue

What will we do?

What can I prove?

 

 

You showed me life

You gave me breath

Now its alright

I've got some left

See the summer

Starting again

Such a bummer

But you're my friend

I love you again

 

 

And the stars tonight are all dim

As I run through the shadows grim

I left it all behind with you

You were so very kind, thank you

Is there nothing to keep your good ways true?

If not can I just say I wish I could pay you

Don't give up now you can't see how

I was so brown you took my frown

You gave me power now I'm no coward

Like a spring flower, nothing can now hurt

See, you did it, you helped me see

If nothing else, you set me free

0069

Wish you were mine

But no one can own you

You are so fine

Simply glad I've known you

I'm over us

I don't think I told you

Blowing you trust

I still want to hold you

Can you believe

You know you possessed me

What you achieved

Is that you obsessed me

See its okay

Except I can't go on

Another day

Will just make me less strong

Can you believe

All this mess is my fault

I have to grieve

Pour some wounds on my salt

See its okay

Except I can't go on

Another day

Will just prove me more wrong

I'm over us

Just wish I could help you

I wish you just

I know how you felt blue

So we are through

I wish I could explain

Let me show you

Just that I feel no pain

Levitated

Dark now, dark forever

I’ll be here now

I’ll leave here never

I feel nothing

But I am

I am nothing

As I feel

Claustrophobic in darkness

If I could speak, I would say

Jesus is the only way

But I am empty

I am in nothing

I am dead

I am alone

I don’t want to start a sentence with I

How did I sentence myself to die

I don’t want to think about myself

But there is nothing else here with me

Where are you?

Why can’t we be

Why can’t I see?

Why did I die?
I just want to leave

I want to go

I want to find

You

 

 

I want to sleep and wake up

Leave me alone you stupid shadow

To scare me you need more make up

Let me be, I need sleep

 

Let go of my leg, I’m trying to sleep

Give me back my sleeping bag

Stop tugging at me

 

I reach for my light

But its not persuaded

I curl up

And am levitated

 

The light does not flicker on

And so I curse

Into the night, to the delayed dawn

Its getting worse

Suicide Song

Written by: Nairbus

Kicking out on bloody ground
How I dig that simple sound
When you sigh your last goodbye
Makes me want to fucking try!

How you slit your veins with care
Makes me want to suck your air
Take that shotgun off the shelf,
Come along and kill yourself!

No one loves you, you’re so gay
Slice your wrists and make them spray!

Keeping up with Suicide,
You can run but you can’t hide
When you sigh your last goodbye
Makes me want to fucking try!

Put this bag over your head,
Don’t breath in soon you’ll be dead.

Take these pills,
They cause thrills.

Try this noose,
Just let loose.

Try this gun,
It’s so fun

I said fuck it all anyways when we’re born we’re marked for days
I don’t know what’s in your head, suicide is nothing to dread.

When your heart is full of doubt, take a knife and cut it out
Don’t bother me with your complaints your breaths are your constraints

Rufus

I want to be like Rufus
He is the proof this
Bum life is for me
Keeping windows clean
He doesn’t pay no rent
But he gets his own tent

Bums is always rich
Like gay guys get chicks
And they always got booze
With an audience too
Join me on the corner
We’ll act like we were born here
Glare at all the cars
They not good as ours
I’ll get good at guitar
And prove its not hard
Being a bum
Is fun so come

I want to be a bum
Cause bums just want to have fun
I’ll sleep under cardboard
And wake up with no hard work
See I don’t like this expensive real estate
I think I’ll just take a break
And become a hobo
When I’m done I’ll let you know

Watching our society
Wishing for sobriety
I’ll live off loose change and cents
I’ll give off some strange ass scents
I’d get all the babes
I’d just chill all day
Holding out my hand
Think I’ll earn a grand
Today

Hey did you hear the news?
Got a sign says “No lies just want booze”
I think I’ll make a grand today
Can you sense the envy come my way
Everyone wants to be like me
Everyone wants to live for free
Well join me we’ll all be homeless
Hey that’s my cart I own this
Alleyway filled with litter
Get your own cart get the picture?