Welcome to the Official Temple of GreyLadyBast

Welcome to the Official Temple of GreyLadyBast, the patron Goddess of the PPC. This temple, run by Agent Dafydd of DOGA in yet more of his copious spare time, can be found immediately opposite the door to Response Centre #7219. There is no special occult significance to this location – it’s just that Dafydd couldn’t be bothered to move any further than he had to.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: The Temple of GreyLadyBast has been CLOSED. GreyLadyBast has officially resigned her position as Patron Goddess of the PPC. The files contained in this Temple are maintained merely as items of historical interest. The banner at the bottom of this page will take you to the Temple that was set up to occupy the room vacated by GreyLadyBast's Temple. We thank you for your time. Yours sincerely...

Dafydd Illian, ex-High Priest

In order to make clearing up easier, we of the OToGLB respectfully request that you do not offend the Goddess in any way. She tends to smite people who make her unhappy, and we’re the ones who have to clear up afterwards. It’s not fun.

Here at the Temple, we do have a few very strict rules. It would be a good idea to obey them and avoid a smiting.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to eat the flesh of a horse that has lain dead for exactly nineteen years and three months.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to drink the blood of an intelligent pigeon with exactly forty-two pure white feathers.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to throw grey pebbles 34.5 millimetres in diameter and perfectly spherical at any form of pillar, column or supporting wall.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to refer to any other worshipper of GreyLadyBast as a ‘horse-like lump of undigested cat food who has eaten exactly fifteen and five twelfths of a carrot’.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to correctly pronounce the word ‘Askeberitanisxcretyhgqerniantiopnmerltlg’.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to play any Meatloaf song in the vicinity of the Goddess GreyLadyBast. If you should disobey this rule, especially by playing 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light', her smiting of you will not stop until you have to be scraped off the ground with a chisel.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to refer to the High Priest as 'normal' unless a disclaimer such as '...for a PPC Agent' or '... for a homicidal maniac' is attatched.

IT IS FORBIDDEN to eat the flesh of a Mary-Sue while imbibing large quantities of bleepka. (Actually, this last is not forbidden. It’s just good advice, as the last person to perform such an experiment died within thirteen seconds. Thirteen very loud and messy seconds)

It is also forbidden, although not by the Goddess, to make fun of the High Priest’s accent. Or his spelling. He can get very... touchy. And by ‘touchy’, we mean ‘homicidal’. He's British. Deal with it.

The Holy Book of GreyLadyBast
Join the Temple!
The Members of the Temple
The Most Holy Hat of GreyLadyBast
Sign Our Guestbook Request A Smite in the Smite Box