| About the
Author
I am sixty two and working on my graduate degree in
Rehabilitation Counseling, Drake University, Des Moines, Iowa, to help
women who were molested as children and ended up in the criminal justice
and mental health systems. I have been a mentor to many of these
women for over thirty years in Alcoholics Anonymous. Many have
followed me into academia with, "Bonnie, if you can do it, so can
I!" One woman I mentored could not read when we started her
journey. Today she has a two year degree in accounting. Many
others are now enrolled in some type of educational endeavors.
My passion to help this population stems from my own
experience. My grandfather started sexually molesting me after my
sister was born. She is six years younger. I know today that
my mother did not understand the concept of denial when I told her what he
had been doing. I certainly did not at nine. That moment began
her cycles of emotional and physical abuse toward me. I was very
confused. People that had cared about me were hurting me and I did
not understand why.
At fourteen, I was a patient of Dr. Paul T. Cash, a
psychiatrist in Des Moines, and placed on heavy medication. My
mother told me that she would kill me if I told anyone about her or
grandpa. So I kept silent. I used beer and those medications
to deal with life and prayed that my mother would die so I could be my
daughter's mother.
Nine months and one day after my daughter was born my
daughter and mother were killed in a car accident. I had no coping
skills and the excruciating pain I had endured for years
intensified. The State of Iowa saved my life by locking me up in
prison for seven years for a $25 check on my account. I entered the
criminal justice system in March 1963 and was released in May 1969.
I was fortunate that I came through prison during the 1960s when the
rehabilitation model was socially and politically used. I was told that I
mattered and could have a better life. I was the first woman in Iowa
to be placed on the work release program.
My progress has not been linear or pretty. I've
muddled my way through nine marriages and divorces. I did
secretarial and office multi-tasking. I drove semi over-the-road for
over six years. I finally started my education which culminated in
an undergraduate, sociology degree from Drake University in May 2000.
During research to
find PTSD treatment for my sexually abused clients, a
psychologist told me that treating this population was not cost-effective. I
disagree. I have watched many women in Alcoholics Anonymous, with
shame and guilt from being abused as children, become self-reliant. Their
children now have loving mothers who are involved in their
lives. Maybe I have a different perspective on cost-effective.
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There is little difference between what a child goes through
when they are kidnapped by a sexual predator and what others feel
enduring long periods of sexual abuse, secrets and threats at the
hands of family and friends. Being totally powerless to make
the pain stop is the same. Actually, the betrayal by relatives
and friends may be worse because it never
ends. |
Excerpted from Proclivity by Bonnie L. Kern. Copyright ©
2007. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Beverly was fifteen or sixteen when Ann and Ted took her to court for
being incorrigible. They sat in the judge's chambers. Ann explained how
Beverly ran away all of the time for no reason, that they had spent money
they didn't have so she could have counseling and medication, and nothing
seemed to work.
The judge scolded Beverly for not appreciating her wonderful parents.
He was in the process of telling her that he was going to send her to the
state girls facility when Ann interrupted, "Oh no! Her father and I will
take responsibility for her!"
Beverly's head exploded, "Who's nuts around here? Get me away from this
bitch!!", but she couldn't speak. She didn't want to pay the price when
Ann got her alone again.
Beverly started praying that Ann would die that day. She knew that was
the only way that she would ever get away from her. Somebody always took
her back to Ann to be hurt again and again when she ran
away.
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