Welcome!

*NEW* *NEW* *NEW* I am available for website design and management!  I can (er... i'll atleast do my best.. which is very very good) do anything! (within reason) to make any website i create a work of art!  For more information, email me at blondegoth09@hotmail.com .  I am open to all offers.

For everyone who doesn't know me, this is my new web page. It was created simply beause i was bored one night and decided to make this mockery of a website. It will contain everything that i feel is stupid and pointless enough for me to put in it.

I'm really bored. If anyone gets bored, like i am right now, call me or instant message me.

I'm a band geek. I play the trombone... obviously from the trombone pic below.

Well, I've decided that spinnakers are evil. They compell boats to do strange things, like jibe unpreparedly. *sigh* This summer many poor sailors have fallen victim to this evil *pause* SAIL! Even I was attacked by this horrible speed enducing peice of nylon! It was incredibly painful, and apparently I should've gone to the nurse because I probably had a concussion, but I'm all right. *twitch twitch*. So, If anyone should be out sailing, be on your guard. The spinnakers are out to get you.

12/30/02-> 9:30 PM Subject: Are blondes as dumb as they appear?

Many scientists have studied and have wondered about the behavioral habits of blondes. I would like to further discuss this subject, but i suddenly lost interest. I will continue this discussion later... when i feel like it.

Anonymous *cough*cough* la kiwi *cough*  says,"Hi, Im a blond. Im not stoopid. Dont maik fun of mi."

Runs with scissors says, "Hair color doesn't matter. What people lack in intelligence they make up for in stupidity."

More Stupid Stuff
I believe that everyone in this universe has a right to be stupid. In an article in Science Weekly, scientists discovered that the universe is composed of mostly two elements, Hydrogen and stupidity. The scientists were later discovered to be on the payroll of Dogbert and were fired from their jobs.

I used to take great pride in opening a new box of staples and informing them that they worked for me and i was their undisputed ruler. But eventually I had to stop naming them individually because it was such an emotional roller coaster when one went crooked. This may be off the point, but if anyone sees Walter, tell him i miss him.

What if Jeramiah wasn't a bullfrog?

This web class that I'm in right now would be so much more fun if I had brought my screwdrivers to school. That way, I could take apart my cd player. Then I would be amused.

A Sucess Guide for Females
Scenario #1 (without swearing)
A man comes to a woman's office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying,"Well, I'm a bit busy right now." Undeterred by this mild rebuff, the man will pull up a chair and proceed to chew up an hour of the woman's valuable time. Eventually the woman's productivity will be devoured by an endless parade of men who would rather talk to her career will begin a death spiral, until eventuallyu she becomes a bag lady. And if she doesn't learn to swear, she won't be much of a bag lady either.

Scenario #2 (with swearing)
A man comes to a woman's office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying,"Ah, shove it up your ass and die." The man will be momentarily stunned. It is unlikely that he will pull up a chair. Nor will he experience any bonding. He will probably back slowly out the door. The woman's productivity will skyrocket. But what about reprocussions? The woman might someday need a favor from the man she has just verball abused. Fortunatly for her, all men are trained at birth to accept verbal abuse from women and get over it rather quickly. And in the unlikely event that the man shows some hesitation to be helpful in the future, the situation can be smoothed over with the simple communication technique of saying,"Do it now or I'll rip off your nuts and shove them down your throat."

Other Scenarios
Action: Man swears at woman.
Result: Six-year prison sentence.
Action: Woman swears at woman.
Result: How would I know?
Action: Person swears at computer.
Result: Improved operation. 

This is the bottom of the main page of my website.... i will assume you have visited the links above and will bid you farewell as one of my teachers did.... so.... don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.
 

Also, if you would like to say anything about this subject, instant message me or email me at blondegoth09@hotmail.com