Quotage

"But Mr. Buckler isn't a kidney." - C <---My personal favourite (inside joke)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

"What's another word for thesaurus?" - Steven Wright

"Give me liberty or give me ... ooh, jelly donut!" - Homer Simpson

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

"Nothing in life is "fun for the whole family". - Jerry Seinfield

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom." - Bob Hope

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' " - Charile Brown

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." - Lily Tomlin

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with." - W.C. Fields

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'" - Isaac Asimov

"There is not excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in proportion" - Francis Bacon

"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love" - Albert Einstein

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." - Mark Twain

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J. R. R. Tolkien

"There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry." - Mark Twain

?Well kids you tried your best and failed miserably the lesson is never try." - Homer Simpson

"Well, you impressed me and I'm not easily impressed. WOW!! A blue car!!" - Homer Simpson

"The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting." - Fran Lebowitz

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines" - Steven Wright

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Shultz

"The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese." - Unknown

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together." - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." - Burt Bacharach

Frodo: I cant do this, Sam.
Sam:I know, It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn?t even be here. But we are. Its like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it?s only a passing thing. This shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didnt. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And its worth fighting for

- The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money." - David Richerby

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg

"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something." - Robert Heinlein

"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"People can have the Model T in any colour--so long as it's black." - Henry Ford

"Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading." - G. M. Trevelyan

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. -" Elbert Hubbard

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

"My favourite animal is steak" - Fran Lebowitz

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired." - Jules Renard

"I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm." - James Thurber

"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." - Laurence J. Peter

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." - Alfred Hitchcock

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." - Mark Twain

"Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away." - Unknown

"There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love." - Christopher Morley

"Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shovelling smoke." - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." - Jerry Garcia

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." - Euripides

"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." - Gustave Flaubert

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams

"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." - Unknown

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." - Fran Lebowitz

"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting." - Mark Twain

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." - Fran Lebowitz

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." - Sir Winston Churchill

"True love comes in quietly, without banners os flashing lights. Without force or insanity. She is the sanity in your world full of madness. True love is not how grand you are or how simple you are, but it's who you are when you're with her - and she loves you not in spite of it, but because of it. She's the one stands with you when the rest of the world falls down." - Tomas Wild-Fontaine

"And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be durn, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing." - I Corinthians 13:3

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." - Hebrews 13:2

"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person." - Frank Barron

"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russel

"Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it." - Samuel Johnson

"You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." - Sam Levenson

"You say everything happens for a reason. Well, you are my reason." - Some random internet person

"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually produce a masterpiece. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." - Eyler Coates

love- (luv) v. Giving someone the ability to destroy you and hoping like all Hell that they wont.

"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." - Sir Winston Churchill

"To this world you are one person, but to me you are the world" - Random Internet Quote

"Don't let today?s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow?s dreams" - Random Internet Quote

"It is easier to move a mountain; than to change a person's character." - Chinese Proverb

"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." - Chinese Proverb

"If you can't excel with talent, triumph with effort." - Dave Weinbaum

"When I was born, I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen

"For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else." - Sir Winston Churchill

"We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job." - Sir Winston Churchill

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." - Sir Winston Churchill

"The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened." - Saki

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it." - Charlotte Bronte

"I hold a creed, which no one ever taught me, and which I seldon mention, but in which I delight, and to which I cling, for it extends hope to all; it makes eternity a rest - a mighty home - not a terror and an abyss. With this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime, I can so sincerly forgive the first while I abhor the last; with this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degredation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice bever crushes me too low; I live in calm, looking to the end." - Charlotte Bronte

"Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs." - Charlotte Bronte

"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."- Oscar Wilde

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." - Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." - Mark Twain

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." - Mark Twain

"Good habits result from resisting temptation." - Ancient Proverb

"Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire." - Arab Proverb

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still." - Chinese Proverb

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." - Chinese Proverb

"Fall seven times, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

"If you believe everything you read, better not read." - Japanese Proverb

"Complain to one who can help you." - Yugoslav Proverb

"Unless I hold the sword, I cannot protect you. While holding the sword, I cannot embrace you." - Kubo Tite, BLEACH Volume 5

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." - Random Internet Quote

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone." - Random Internet Quote

"Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon." - Random Internet Quote

"I heard you, and so what if the world's ending at noon today, I can't chat with you until tomorrow." - Random Internet Quote

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot." - Random Internet Quote

"Whatever it is that's eating you, it must be suffering horribly." - Random Internet Quote

"Success comes before work... only in the dictionary." - Random Internet Quote

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great." - Golda Meir

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival." - Sir Winston Churchill

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - The 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet

"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be learned; and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly." - Thomas H. Huxley

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour." - William Blake

"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored." - Evelyn Waugh

*does X motion* "This is an Axe-free zone!!!!" - Mrs. Weir after Alex puts on some Axe and stinking up the classroom

Denise: If Harry Potter was a girl, do you think his adventures would have been different?
JK Rowling: Yes, I do think they would be different. I imagined Harry as a boy from the start, so I've never thought about 'Harriet Potter', but I'm sure lots of things in the books would change, Ron for a start, he'd have to be Ronalda.

"Every time you admire a painting, remember you are entering the most sublime of all arts. Never remain on the surface: enter the scene, move among its elements, uncover its unknown details, prowl its recesses - and that way you'll grasp its true meaning." - Leonardo Da Vinci

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't." - Mark Twain

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

"It is easier to stay out than get out." - Mark Twain

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat." - Sir Winston Churchill

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Lord Alfred Tennyson

"Do not go gentle into that good night, rage, rage, against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

"Living next to you [the USA] is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly or temperate the beast, one is affected by every twitch and grunt." - Pierre Elliot Trudeau

"Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off." - Ellen DeGeneres

Lando: You're crazier than I thought.
Valcourt: No, I'm in love. It's the same thing.
- A Sunday at the Pool in Kigali by Gil Courtemanche

"It amazes me how I can walk past someone on the street without noticing them. Every event in history had to position itself perfectly for our two souls to collide at that perfect moment, and yet, I walk past without thinking twice. Behind the eyes of these nameless faces there is a mind filled with thoughts and experience that 1000 conversations could not do justice…" - The internet?

"What is the feeling when you're driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? It's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies." - On the Road by Jack Kerouac

"Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?" - John Keats

"If you could go back and change just one thing about your life would you? And if you did what would it be? Would that change ultimately break your heart or the heart of another? Would you change an entire path... or just one moment, one that you’ve always wished didn’t happen. And would you do it all different or just one tiny thing? How much would one tiny change affect the rest of your life? And would that one change ruin everything else that you hold dear? How many people would it affect... Just you or the people you love?"

"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie." - Alice/Jane - Closer

"Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
- Ulysess - Lord Alfren Tennyson