| ~ The Man Rules ~ |
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| At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down |
| We always hear ' the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. |
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| These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! |
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| 1. Men are NOT mind readers. |
| 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. |
| You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. |
| 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. |
| 1. Crying is blackmail. |
| 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! |
| Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! |
| 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. |
| 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. |
| Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. |
| 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. |
| In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. |
| 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. |
| 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you |
| sad or angry, we meant the other one. |
| 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. |
| If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. |
| 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. |
| 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. |
| 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. |
| Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. |
| 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. |
| 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing is wrong. |
| We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. |
| 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. |
| 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really. |
| 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or FOOTBALL! |
| 1. You have enough clothes. |
| 1. You have too many shoes. |
| 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! |
| Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; |
| But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
| Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. |
| Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh! |
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