Meh.
I know you won't care, but I'm gonna write about our trip to Belgium because I'm bored, and I don't wanna do German coursework. Plus, Alan didn't e-mail me back, Knob.
So then.
Tuesday, 11th April.
6.15 am.
6.15 am.
Bloody Fern Cotton was on the radio wasn't she. Talk about annoying. She went on and on about being on Paul O'Grady. She's such a Knob.
6.50 am.
6.50 am.
Went to Lauren's house, then to the station.
Then, got on a train to Doncaster. Over ten bloody quid to go to Doncaster which wasn't even where we wanted to be. Got off the train at Doncaster. Had a bloody expensive pain au chocolat and hot chocolate, which wasn't even very nice. Had to wait an hour for the train to London. As we boarded the train and put our suitcases away (Yes, unlike when we went to Paris, we each had our own suitcae. Amazing.) and then this man (or woman, I don't remember who it was) said
"Are you going to Holland?"
Me: "YES! Oh, no. We're going to Belgium."
Me: "YES! Oh, no. We're going to Belgium."
Woman: Ah. We saw you looking at a Dutch phrasebook.
Man: Are you going on the Eurostar?
Man: Are you going on the Eurostar?
Me or Lauren or maybe simultaneously: Yep
Woman: Ah, we should've done that...
End of extremely interesting convo.
Sat on train for 2 hours. I don't remember the journey.
Now, here's the bugger. We had to go on the Underground. There was a "massive" queue for tickets. We queued. Three quid it cost. We figured out which tubes we wanted, and then it was all going smoothly and we got to Waterloo international with plenty of time to spare. Twas all gravy.
As we arrived there were people dotted around in groups and people wearing yellow flourescent jackets deep in conversation. I looked up at the board which tells you at what time the trains leave.
It said along the lines of:
Tuesday 11th April.
All Eurostar trains leaving Waterloo International have been cancelled due to a problem on the (somewhere) line.
A woman in said yellow jacket approached us. We conversed.
Her: Where do you want to go?
Us: Belgium
Her: That's even worse.
Great.
Her: We advise that you change your tickets and travel tomorrow.
Me: And where are we supposed to stay?
Her: You're not from London?
Do we bloody sound like Londoners? Anyway. We got on board a train to Ashford which was supposedly only for people who had emergencies. Were surrounded by Southerners. And some French people. Stupid southern Knob girl was so annoying. "Je ne sais pas" Was all the French she could muster. According to stupid southern Knob girl's father there was a gas leak and a building about to collapse causing a threat to Eurostar.
Anyway, we got to Ashford, had to wait bloody ages on the platform and this silly old woman was like "Even in the war we could get trains" Oh, bugger off you Knob.
We had to wait an eternity in Ashford. Eventually, about two hours later we got on a train, and had to go to France. Got to Lille, were going to get a train to Brussels but that had been delayed by an hour. I asked the guy (in French) whether it was right that we use these tickets on any train in Belgium, and he asked where we wanted to go, I said Bruges, and then he rang someone up. Then, he wrote down in very hard-to-read writing a train we were to get from the station, which was just "lą-bas" so, we went lą-bas, and where did we end up? A shopping centre. The train station was at the shopping centre. Weird Frenchies. Anyway, we couldn't find the train station so Lauren asked for directions in French, then when we found it we didn't know which train we wanted so I asked a woman who pointed it out. Then, we got on the train, but had to move cos we were in First Class. You couldn't tell. There was more room in the aisle and that was about it. In second class this old woman kept staring at us. I stared back, and she stopped.
And off we went to Courtrais, or Kortrijk or something. That was a rather scabby place. We had to change for the Bruges train. The train arrived and we were like "bloody hell! How are you supposed to get on that?" The train was so high up it was amazing. My dad would've struggled getting up. Upon the train some lads started playing "here comes the bride" on a harmonica.
We got to Bruges. Got a taxi. Got to the hotel. The hotel man was adorable. Belgians have THE cutest accent. Like Irish. Tirty Tree. The room was ok. We went out for tea. A restaurant. I ordered a "half fried chicken" and he said "Would you like vegetables or salad with that?" So I went for veg.
Food came.
Half a bloody chicken and some lettuce is what was on my plate. Then he brought about 5 vegetables on a seperate plate. Lauren had two, and apparently they tasted funny. Later we found out that these 5 vegetables cost 8 euros 50. Rip off. In England if they offer veg or salad that means it comes on your plate included in the price.
We went to bed as we were tired. Woke up and God my arms ached. As did Lauren's. At breakfast we heard Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" and we had that "Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk" line in our heads for ages, and it's the only line we know.
We spent the morning in Bruges. It was nice, but we didn't know what to see. So we shopped. And then in the afternoon we went to Ghent. We had to get a bus ticket to the station. We asked the woman at the hotel how to use the bus and she thought us completely crackers.
It's cheaper to get bus tickets from the bookshop though, so that's what we did. All buses go to the station so it was fine. Ghent's nice. They have Spar. So much better than ours. Still scabby, but bigger. I got this Coke thing, with "Sango" what the hell sango is we don't know, but it tasted fine. We had some Pasta. The same type so Lauren said "Twee" and the woman was awfully confused. Lauren wants two bowls of pasta for herself! Twas a nice meal. And way better than those rip off vegetables.
We wandered. We got to this, as Lauren descrided it, band stand place, and we saw these people setting up a video camera and microphone and other equipment. We avoided them catiously. We bought DVD's. Everywhere we went they played Advertising Space by Robbie Williams. And if they didn't play that, they played Je T'adore by Kate Ryan. Robbie got in our heads a LOT.
We went into a shopping centre, and as we know, Lauren hates clothes shopping even more than I do, so I dragged her in H&M and what did they play? "I saw you standing at the gate when Marlon Brando passed away, you had that look upon your face advertising space."
And we went somewhere else and it was on in there too. The library in Ghent is massive. Way better than the one here.
We walked back. Went through band stand square. The camera people were still there. We tried to avoid them but to no avail. The woman started talking to us... I could follow. It was about jobs and discrimination. Eventually, she stopped talking and expected us to answer. So, I answered. "Wij zijn Engels." And then she started talking to us in English. However, since we had no story about being discriminated against whilst looking for a job we were no use to her.
We got back to Bruges, and got on the bus to go to the hotel. But, it seems that the bus didn't go where we wanted it to, and we just ended up going round the bus route, and back to the station. It was a rather boring journey. When we got to the end the bus driver looked at us like "Erm...This is the last stop. You get off here." We then decided to walk back to the hotel, even though we didn't know how to get there. According to Lauren we had to follow the big building. So we did and discovered that we were on the smelly egg street with the boring wall and bakkerstraat, and we had been there that morning so we were no longer lost.
We went back to Hotel. Fancied a drink. Went to the booze shop on the corner. Bought Sprite and Vodka and crisps. And Fruttella! Back at the hotel we had some vodka. I said to Lauren to down it in one. I managed. I choked and coughed, and it burnt, but I managed. Lauren however, is a Knob, and failed to do so. We then thought about going out, as it was only the 8 o'clock hour. There's absolutely nothing to do on an evening. Lauren revealed she had never had Bailey's, so I got her to buy some Bailey's. I love Bailey's, though no where near as much as tequila, which I ADORE.
Thursday. We're off to go to Antwerp. It was cheaper to get a (devil) ticket that lets you go for 10 journeys, so we got that. I asked if it was valid for two people and he said it was. So we wrote in the required details and it was fine.
But since we had 10 journeys we went to St Niklaas. Boring! Waste of time. We didn't stay long. But again, we did go to Spar.
Antwerp's great. So cheap! It's amazing. We went in this one shop and spent ages in there. And we both spent over 40 euros... Plus whilst in there they played "Je t'adore" and then "Advertising Space" like, 3 times. To annoy Lauren, sing Advertising Space. It's great.
We went into a Swarovski shop, and I am aware I've spelt that wrong, and the woman was being nice saying if there's anything we want just ask. Saying this in Dutch, clearly. So, I got my mother a present. I love my mother. I don't know if Lauren noticed, but I was in a bad mood on this day as it was the day of the results at the Hospital.
Anyway. We were on the way back. We didn't see a train straight to Brugge (I love how the Dutch say it) so we were going to go to Ghent again and change there. The train was very busy. Very busy. we ended up sat by the doors. The ticket collector came round. I gave him the ticket. We hadn't filled it in... He was wittering in Dutch. Lauren was like "Erm..We're English. ENGLISH!" But he seemed to have some sort of hearing problem as he was doing that thing where you cup your ear to try and hear more. It doesn't work, anyway. Turns out, if you don't fill your ticket in there's a penalty of 20 Euros. So he was threatening to give us a fine. Although, to be honest we didn't really have a clue about what was going on and instead, he just wrote in four of the lines that we were going to Ghent. But first he was like "You want to go to Bruges?" Well, yeah, but this train doesn't go there so no. And he was also enquiring as to who wrote the first line, and twas I. I don't know what relevance that had though. Anyway, it was confusing but he just gave us the ticket back.
We got on a train to Bruges. Another ticket collector. This one was a lot grumpier. Rather vicious. "But you haven't filled it in! Why haven't you filled it in? Two persons, two lines? What did you think? I should give you a penalty. Why should I give you a penalty?" At this point, I was actually trying to stiffle my laughter. He was a funny man really. Scary, but funny. And also, he kind of talked like an Italian. But thank God he was talking to Lauren and not me. Anyway, he made Lauren fill in the next line and then gave the ticket back like "This is a present." and then walked off. Gah. Then we started having a weird conversation and sang Mary Poppins and "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts."
Friday. Last day. We went to Brussels for the Eurostar. You get the Eurostar from Brussel-Zuid/Bruxelles-Midi and so we got off the train here, and had loads of time so walked around a bit. What a dump! Clearly we were not in the right area. The cobbles were really bad and it was hard to pull your case cos you'd keep geting stuck in holes.
It's a very multicultural area. I saw a sign saying "Italian Cuisine" so I thought "Great, we'll have some food." But it sold kitchen units, thus, we didn't get any food. We just complained and complained about this place, and since we had loads of time we went to Brussels Central. Slightly better. Not great, but better. Loads of police men. Really, it wasn't enjoyable. I'd bought some magazines, Cosmopolitan. The April Edition in Spanish and the May edition in French. Spanish is so much easier to understand.
We came back. All was fine. Five hours to kill in London is not easy. Talk about boring. We sat in the middle of the station floor for two. Finally, 10 o'clock arrived and we were on our way. The train was really old style. I'd slept for a bit, but then we were in Doncaster and there was LOADS of noise. Eight rowdy Durham lads had got on. "We've been drinking, we've ad a good day let's not spoilt it." There's always one "TOASTIE! Get us a toastie!" "Ok, there's some lovely people on hear they don't wanna hear it. Watch your language." They were really amusing to listen to. But I'd rather have slept.
I came home. All my family were up. You know that means bad news... Jasper wouldn't leave me. Vic nagged for her present. But yeah. It was a good trip.
I'm quite sick of Advertising Space. I was listening to it once and it just clicked with me. I don't know why. I don't relate to the lyrics. "Everybody loves your life but you." Yeah, you'd all love to be me! You'd all love for your mother to have the breast cancer she had last year to spread to the bones and liver and be incurable wouldn't you. (Yes, I'm bitter. So hit me. But incurable doesn't mean terminal, I hope, but just containable yet incurable)
And when Marlon Brando passed away I stood at no gate.
And I don't have a daughter.
I like Belgium. All the people are friendly, and they say good bye. In England we're all grumpy beggars. I wish I could speak Dutch. It sounds funny.
Oh my, oh my! What's this? Chocolate on the sheets! Yes, I bought some Kinder Maxi things, and Lauren ate more of them than I did, AND, she got it on my bed. Well, I'm blaming her.
And since I'm a Knob I took a picture of my reflection (yeah, I was bored) and it's myself, admiring the view. What was the view? Let's look below...
A broken window! How jolly.
And in the other direction?
A wall! Can't touch this.
Once again...
FUCK! And fuck right, why on Earth do I keep swearing? It's becoming habit. But anyway! I've found like, my Spanish version of BILLY JOEL! He's called Sergio Dalma, and he is the guy who sang the European Spanish version of the songs for The Road To El Dorado! He's so ace, I adore his voice. As I said to Lauren a gazillion months ago, he sounds like a pirate.
But I say he's the Spanish version of Billy Joel not because they have a similar style of music, because they don't really, but it's hit and miss. Some songs are just slow and crap, others are that ace old style. A while ago when I found out that it was him who did the El Dorado songs, I downloaded some more of his songs and I must have gotten the rotten ones (GOTTEN! Is that right? Or is that the Yank thing? Let's say, I'm putting gotten cos it rhymes with rotten!)
I'm going to translate one of his songs called "Fuego En El Alma"