"What is LACE?" Some people may ask?
"Why do you feature LACE on your website" others may ask.
To be honest, I have no idea what LACE is but I came across it whilst browsing a website entitled
"What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex"
"Why were you on a website about Elf sex?" ask some people. Again, I do not know. I merely stumbled upon it - dear Lord that was a terrible phrase to use considering the subject. But forgetting the nature of the project the site has made great amusement for me and Skye.
The introduction on this wbesite was
"Ever since the movie of the book Fellowship of the Ring came out, there seem to be two popular ideas about Elves’ sex lives. Either they are radiantly asexual, or they are all screwing each other madly, along with any dwarves, hobbits, and men who happen along."
Now, I wasn't aware that people had asking about the sex lives of Elves. I had never really thought about it myself. Which I find quite relieving as I don't really want to think about Elves having sex. But I have just noticed that (the budgie just pooped on the floor but that's not what I was gona say) it says Elves screw Dwarves but this is incorrect as Gimli clearly stated the Dwarves do not have sex and just simply pop out of the ground.
The article then goes on to say
"They do look back happily on the sexually-active time in their lives, though, a period of one to several hundred years. (LACE) Also, "they are seldom swayed by the desires of the body only, but are by nature continent and steadfast." (LACE).
Now, after this point I was curious as to why the word LACE appeared so often. Skye and I thought that it must stand for something so we had a guess.
Skye's idea - Look At Celeborn and Elrond! - This is a reasonable guess since Celeborn and Elrond have indeed lived for many years and have probably had sex as Elrond is the father or Arwen
My idea - Laugh At Celibate Elves - Now this thought came about considering that the article is about Elves having sex and so I thought that the Elves having sex might laugh at the Celibate Elves. I now realise that this suggestion was indeed stupid as Elves do not exist but...
Our coversation then proceded to finding "Tolkien describes the differences between the elvish sexes as follows in LACE"
And, under the influence of Skye we thought of Tolkien wearing LACE.
Next heading we came across "Sex = Marriage, Even On the Run" I then realise that someone has actually spent their time writing this.
And then they write "Tolkien describes elvish marriage in detail in LACE"
And then Skye says "LACE! Tolkien must have been obsessed"
Again, here is the image of Tolkien in LACE
I then find that "Celeborn’s name, in Quenya, was Teleporno" and "That’s the day their parents had the sex that conceived them. (LACE)"
Skye quotes "Somewhere there may be a sealed envelope containing a piece of paper with the Elvish designations of the genitals, furtively set down by Tolkien behind locked doors"
Then I find "The Facts of Elf Life" stating that "Some more elvish facts of life, all sourced from LACE."
And Skye says "LACE has been ruined for me"
And I shall end with
"Although Tolkien never said that the elves DID have hot gay sex, he also never said that they DIDN’T"
Due to the courtesy of Lij a picture of an Aragorn-Legolas Schnog is shown below...
Beautiful are you, Legolas! Your rump would make even Ithil the silvery moon jealous," said Aragorn. "Although the spire of your elfhood is perfection itself, I must take you, lovely one!"
Legolas blushed prettily up to the tips of his pointed ears, and nibbled coyly at Aragorn's pinky, for the world like a modest maiden
This picture is fairly self-explanitary
Dom in shower....interesting. I only like this for the fish curtain!
Some people may say the pictures below show Ian and Elijah in a gay clinch. I wouldn't.
On the right I see Dom kissing Orlando. No comment. And on the left is Sean leaning in for Elijah's cheek. Or more likely to whisper something but either one is possible.
He has a pole!
Want your own free site like this? Try Freewebs.com
This picture is fairly self-explanitary
