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Internet
Dating and the BBW Since
Internet access has become commonplace, over the course of the past few
years, it has become increasingly common to form relationships online.
There may be many reasons for choosing the Internet rather than a more
conventional method, so let‘s look at a few of them. ·
Lack
of Time – in today’s ever-busy world, many people simply don’t
have the time for the conventional dating process. Advertising on an
online personals site or getting to know someone better through email
can save time and energy, and allow time saved to be put to better use. ·
Avoiding
Time-Wasting – advertising online, whether at a general personal ads
site or a site especially for BBW/BHM/FA can save time, because anyone
reading the advert knows in advance that the subject of the advert is
unlikely to be thin! Thus, if they like the curvier figure, they can
reply, and if not, neither their, or the advertiser’s time is wasted. ·
Confidence
– For many people, the prospect of meeting, and dating people is a
daunting one. Establishing contact online, and using email and chat to
get to know new people can be a less stressful way to meet people, (at
least, until a face to face meeting is desired!) I
first placed a personal advert online (at http://www.generous.net
) in February 2001, in a rare moment of courage. I was 25, still single,
had never had a serious relationship, and was fed up with being alone,
when all my friends were married, or at the very least, attached. And
yes, I was fat. I didn’t think I’d get any replies to my advert, and
in fact, the courage that had allowed me to post it in the first place
rapidly disappeared, leaving me hoping
that nobody would answer it. I disconnected from the Internet, went to
bed, and straight to work the following morning, without checking my
email. When
I came home later that day, curiosity got the better of me, and I
checked the email account I’d used to post the advert – lo and
behold, there was a reply. I’d posted a fairly general advert, stating
that I was seeking friendship, or something more serious, and the reply
I’d got was a very friendly message from a gentleman who, due to
distance, was realistically only going to become a friend. He seemed
pretty sane though, and I replied. In the year and a half since, we’ve
become very good friends, and have almost daily email contact. We’ve
met in real life, and created our own size acceptance community for the
UK – yes, I’m talking about Big Buddies! I
had one other reply to my advert, which also resulted in a new
friendship, although we haven’t met, and are probably not likely to,
because of distance. Despite my original advert being placed as a result
of impulsiveness, I’ve had nothing but positive results. OK, so I’m
still single, while even more of my friends are settled, and I’m still
fat – well, that’s not likely to change! But what I have found is
two new friends, who accept and like me for myself, and boost my fragile
self-esteem, as well as confidence I never knew I possessed, and the
knowledge that, regardless of my size, weight, or any other meaningless
numbers, I am a worthwhile
person. I’m
not saying that Internet personal ads always produce a happy ending –
I’ve also had two online relationships that didn’t end so well –
one a friendship with someone I met in real life, which just faded away
to nothing, and one which started off as a friendship and looked like it
was becoming more serious, but which ended when I was too insecure to
agree to a meeting. Overall though, I’d recommend placing an online ad
to anybody, whether they are looking for friends or a soulmate. I
do think that BBWs are often seen as an ‘easy target’ by some of the
‘players’ online. If they know we’re a BBW, they seem to assume
that because we post an online ad, or are even just chatting with them,
we must be fat and desperate … a highly offensive assumption, don’t
you think?! I think I’ve been lucky enough not to have encountered anyone like
that – although, I did once get IM’d by a guy who’d seen that I
was a BBW in my AOL profile, whose first question was to ask what I
looked like. Strangely, he disappeared when I started off with “I’m
fat … “! A little too much attitude for him, perhaps?! I do think
that illustrates a good point though, which is that being brutally
honest with a potential partner may be embarrassing at the time, but
certainly filters out the jerks early on! Obviously
I can only speak from my own experiences, but despite the fact that I
haven’t found ‘the one’ online, I’ve certainly gained more than
I’ve lost, and am glad that I had that moment of uncharacteristic
impulsiveness which made me place that ad … perhaps I’ll even try
again, and place another one! Kirstie |
