Sorry for disappearing again, the past few months were still madness, breaking off my two year relationship with my ex turned out to be like a 10 month process. I live right upstairs from him here at school, so it's been difficult. So yeah, that's had me pretty preoccupied. as for my weight, it's been a right mess. i got all the way back up to 156 a few weeks ago!! I made the mistake of weighing myself when my boyfriend (I'm dating someone new) was over my house and i literally broke down crying in front of him. He asked if i was crying because of my weight and i just blurted out everything! he already knew that i had eating issues but i told him about a lot of the feelings behind it. like how i was a useless piece of shit because i couldn't restrain myself... it was bad business. I felt bad because i could tell that worried him. he's not the type to try and shove food in my face or yell at me but he will watch me. he notices when i pick at food and just push it around instead of actually eating =/the good news is that he's not at school with me. well, generally speaking, that sucks i miss him pretty badly, but he doesn't have to see me not eat. so i've been able to diet for the past few weeks.My high weight yesterday was 144 lbs. when i first woke up, i was actually 142.5 lbs yesterday but i was a bit dehydrated.
my weight is up from the weekend at home but otherwise, today was ok.intake: 540 cals (+6pts), 9 glasses of water (+3pts), and 1 vitamin (+1pt)output: 45 min cardio (+4pts), 100 crunches (+2pts), 50 leg lifts (each side), 25 “push-ups,” 25 chair dips (+1), and this Butt & Ab routine (+2)total points: 19high weight: 151.5 :(
I went home this weekend... that was a total bust eating-wise. I did have fun though. I've decided not to dwell on how awful this weekend was...I'm going to try really hard to do well this week. I'm going to eat under 800 every day, I'm going to go to the gym monday, wednesday and friday and I'm going to do 100 crunches, 50 leg lifts on each leg, 50 bicep curls, 25 "push-ups," and 25 chair dips. I might add lunges too.I think I'll post my point system tomorrow. My goal is to have at least 12 points per day, at least 70 this week.
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