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goldie lookin chain rally mon 25th oct 04 london if you happened to be in the vacinity of london's leicester square on monday, you are likely to have witnessed an increased number of 'chavs' meandering about. it's the day of release for goldie lookin' chain's current single, "your mother's got a penis", & to mark the occasion there is a fair amount of carnage going on, featuring bling cars, girls on rollerskates & the essential combination of burberry & leisure wear. upon my arriving in a panic at missing the 1.00 kickoff, i was conviently directed to the source of the rally by random passers by, exclaiming "chavs! like 10 of 'em!" & "ho ho ho, baseball caps... chavs!". i'm serious: this happened. soon the call of "your mother's got a penis" reaches my ears & is heard gracing the streets of london, as the youngun's with a cause take to the streets. i inconspicuously followed the goings on, camera in hand, in somewhat the style of a mysterious spy with a hysteria problem. i have compiled my evidence on this very page. you may find some scenes disturbing. SCENE 1: leicester square. bling cars. SCENE 2: virgin megastores, oxford street. rabble loiters. police car arrives. girls on rollerskates hang on the back of a police car. then get told off... SCENE 3: hmv, oxford street. cries of "g l c loves h m v!", "you're welsh & you know you are!" confuse & entertain shoppers. SCENE 4: oxford circus station (it's hard getting a large body of people across a busy road with a bus in the way...) by now, my ability to remain inconspicuous is wavering. i try to blend in with the crowd & continue "undercover". or not. SCENE 5: burberry, regent street. this is pure genius, clearly. confirmation that my trying to look inconspicuous was pathetic comes as we leave piccadilly to head back to leicester square & a reporter attempts to interview me... "can i ask what peoples reactions have been?" i look shifty. i wince. i say: "errr... no." SCENE 6: back to leicester square for a spot of break dancing. all in all, i'd say this was a very valuable experience, & a good source of nourishing entertainment. the single is taken from the outfits first major release album, "goldie lookin' chain: greatest hits". back to top

must-have toys museum of childhood's new exhibition bethnal green all photos by c moss agents dot & cherb are sent out to the wild world of bethnal green museum of childhood, to view the newest exhibition at the museum: must-have toys, open from 23rd october 04 untill 9 january 05. the exhibition is made up of toys from all decades from the last hundred years, all of the featured toys being the highly desirable talk of the times. this is the kind of tempting exhibition that causes you to wonder if making a visit is really such a good idea, as you can almost guarantee you will shortly after be pining for that one toy everyone else had in the playground & you never ever got. however, temptation may prove just too much, with the likes of early disireables such as teddy bears and um ...a combine harvester, to later toys mr potato head and the ultimate in playtime construction: lego. (well, in my opinion anyway...) cherb explains: there are glass boxes with must-have toys from the 00s backwards to some that were really old - maybe 30s or 40s. within that display is a small raggedy horse and board game. the 80s and 90s ones were like our young lives in a box - teenage mutant hero turtles to tamagotchis and, god forbid, tellytubbies!! dot was obsessed with those. they have boohbahs in the 00s as well - see, i'm not the only one! (the only boobah?! i'm worried for you - ed) i remember there being playmobil in either the 70s or 80s box. i got excited. poly pocket cafe & dot's hand in action "we are playing this boardgame called goose" shot being a museum aimed at children, there are plenty of activities for little hands, & cherb & dot's are no exception. one such example of the hands-on elements within the exhibition is this toys in space section, which caught a certain pair's eyes... cherb manages to integrate interpol into her artwork without fail ... a pitbull in time you say? judging by dot's attempt, she doesn't seem to understand the concept of the task... urrr. well done anyway! more from cherb: there is a little booth showing the transformers' cartoon clip, and apparently you can watch care bears and sylvanian families (!) ones as well, but we didn't know how to change it...and in the middle, there was a little yellow wigwam, a rocking horse, a shiny red chopper bike and a skateboard. then we got distracted when i saw the sandpit... a bionicle toy from the 00s case the museum will be putting on events during the christmas holidays, so to find out what's going on, & check out what other exhibitions are on at the museum, visit their website at museumofchildhood.org.uk back to top

chasing delays for the love of a band... it's a very rare occasion that you happen upon a band that amaze & entice you so much that you find yourself having a little more than fond liking for them. a band that amaze & entice you so much so, that you find yourself gallivanting across the country simply to catch a glimpse of their ambience & melodic wonder. of course, it's entirely possible that they have actually hypnotised entire audiences in the past, but over the last month, southampton quartet delays have attracted many a new fan to their magical gigs across the uk, touring their debut album (faded seaside glamour) & new double a-side single release, lost in a melody/wanderlust. the intricately produced album (released back in april) sparkles with spirit & ebbs with a sombre magic encapsulated within compact disc format, which although a beauteous entity in itself, does not hold the inexplicable affirmation of seeing the band perform before you. of course, i'm totally biased. but to look at their achievements in under a year, even if their giddying songs are not your preference, hard it is to convince us that they don't have something very special about them to share. but, a long way have they to go, when they set their aims high as they do... they have ambitions to be the perfect pop band, and to look at them now, you can tell they have every intention of seeing out their plan without compromise. a notable change can be found in these guys, who've grown musically & in confidence of themselves after being on the road for an insane amount of time, in america with franz ferdinand & the futureheads, & still announcing more dates of their own in the uk as they go. nice it is then, to see them somewhat taken aback upon walking on stage to a sold out sheperd's bush empire, flattered smiles illuminating their faces. thursday 21st october, & delays are playing loughborough student union. a momentus occasion, them being the first band to grace the unions stage in a very long time. support comes from the usual pellumair, and irish songsters hal, as with every date on the tour bar london, where clearlake take the honours. as the four eagerly stroll onto the stage, i realise it has been far too long since i last saw them, & have a small break down. they open with b-side zero zero one and continue the night with album favourites such as bedroom scene, on (which aaron lovingly dedicates to the unions canteen), & stay where you are, with a hefty helping of amazing new tracks, including superb you see colours & of course the disco powered forthcoming single, lost in a melody. greg kindly reintroduces the omitted overlover into the encore after pleads from the front, despite the fact you'd have trouble dancing to it (for it's prettiness stuns you into a trance. & um... it's quite slow too.) they wrap up with live favourites wanderlust & long time coming, where it seems no one can deny the excellence of their stiring performance. friday 22nd october, the musical brilliance continues to london for the next date, where the set list remains the same, but with the addition of b-side quiet following wanderlust, making me very happy: one of my favourite tracks, with drums played astutely as ever by a flailing rowly. wednesday 27th october, & onto wales to see them perform in bangor student union. though greg is unsure how to pronounce where they are, they are greeted by one loud mass of noise from before the stage. gregs voice here is crystal clear & astonishing, complimented better than ever by colin's warm vocals on this occasion, despite his earlier comment that he's "very nasal". seasonal illness may be plaguing the tour bus (aaron shared with us that awoke with man-flu) their attempts do not waver as they carry through their songs with conviction & grace on yet another occasion. so now, it is essential that i see them again. luckily there are still more dates to come, listed on thedelays.co.uk, & they will be playing xfm's eddy temple morris' christmas party in aid of shelter at cargo in london come december & lost in a melody will be out on november 22nd. back to top

swedish bread for christmas the 12th of december is st lucia day in sweden, which is celebrated as the begining of christmas. girls in white dresses wear candles on their heads as they walk around their village offering people saffron buns as part of the celebrations. allegidly. you never know... well, bellyache decided to make some of these saffron buns & take you through our cooking experiment, but it didn't really go as well as it could have. first, check for ingredients. the shops of forest gate don't have an afection at all for saffron, so in need of some kind of substitute, tania & i opted to try cinnamon instead. we also needed flour, yeast, sugar, milk and almonds. "let the saffron [read: cinnamon] infuse into the warm milk" ... right then. how much is a pinch of saffron in cinnamon measures anyway? besides, what does saffron even taste like...? so we seive the brown sludge into the other ingredients & add the yeast, & mix to make a dough. knead for five minutes. then leave the dough somewhere warm to rise. not cold. oops. ruth: "i'm sure that's not risen..." tania: "nyah, i'm sure it's done..." ruth: "put it under the radiator?" tania: "okay... right, now it's done." simultaniously: *shrug* devide the dough & arrange in hare's, stars & s shapes on greased baking trays. now this we can do! like playdow... glaze with egg & bake in the oven for 20 minutes until golden. hooray! they're done. nice huh? we tested them on a friend: "they're nice." "is there cinnamon in this?" ahhh, we would make rubbish swedes... back to top

moving units draw christmas the units played a superb gig at london's barfly monarch at the end of november (check out the live reviews section of the site to see what bellyache had to say about it) & following their performance, we thought it'd be a good idea to turn their heads to the season upon them & see what they thought about christmas time. and what better way than to get them drawing pictures?! drummer chris' attempt proves to be fairly cynical, with his profound & touching statment on the commercialism of christmas time. we give him special credit points for drawing style... (if only you could have witnessed it; there was knee/elbow angular action! it was very exciting.) this is bassist johan's insanely impressive "volvo driving with a christmas wreeth on it". we were actually stunned by this genius & creative original thinking & would like to offer johan a round of applause! *claps* the first thing that entered vocalist & guitarist blake when we asked him to draw for us was "nice things like bunny rabbits". bellyache let out a little squeel, & we hereby declare that blake is the man! bunny rabbits are the way to our collective heart. it must be fate that blake just knew this, & loves us with his bunny little heart. oh yes, oh yes indeed. thank you moving units! we will try & think of less taxing things to say to you next we meet! www.movingunits.net back to top

sylvia there's nothing like going to the ballet when christmas is approaching, especially when darcey bussell makes it back to the stage after a while away with her baby. the royal ballet are celebrating the works of sir fred ashton (founder choreographer of the royal ballet) & putting on a season of shows choreographed by him, 100 years after his birth. in the case of sylvia, old people had to try & remember the steps & put the full length ballet back together. i kid you not. the story goes something like this... in ancient greece, a shepherd called aminta is in love with the beautiful sylvia, nymph of diana. he tells sylvia of his love for her, & sylvia - sworn from love - is annoyed at eros the god of love, so attempts to shoot the statue of eros with her arrow, but instead gets aminta who stands in the way of eros. the evil hunter orion sees sylvia's beauty & kidnaps her after eros pierces her heart with an arrow, & orion takes her from the woodland to his island cave, as peasants look after amintas body. but eros appears as a stranger & makes aminta well again, sending him to look for sylvia. orion offers sylvia gifts to win her heart which she does not take. instead, in love with aminta from eros' arrow, she waits for orion & his servants to get drunk, & prays to eros for help. he shows her aminta is waiting at diana's temple, & takes her there. when sylvia & aminta are finally reunited, orion arrives to take sylvia back, and orion fights with aminta as sylvia hides in the temple. orion tries to go after syvlia, but diana kills him, and still angry she forbids the love of aminta & sylvia. eros reminds diana that she used to love a sheperd, and diana changes her mind, sylvia & aminta are united, & they all live happily ever after (except orion who is dead), & some woodland creatures do a dance! bellyache went to the final performance of the ballet, & arrived just in time as the staff at the opera house shouted at us to hurry up and were very scary indeed. the set was grand & beautiful, complemented by some brilliant lighting, particularly so the lights that brought eros' fountain to life. the score by leo deliebs was beautiful, his wispful & jolly score played brilliantly by the orchestra. the performance was excellent, though due to our lovely cheap seats, we didn't get the opportunity to witness sylvia's solo in the final act, which was a shame, as ashton's intricate choreography is typically very technical & complicated, & therefore would have been wowing to watch. you're not meant to take photos in the opera house, but we did anyway. not of the performance though, because we're good, really. royaloperahouse.org back to top

bellyache's 2004 these are the highlights of the year from bellyache, & who we tip for 2005. - - - - - cherb... favourite album from 2004 ... interpol - antics. slightly obvious one from me here. despite being unable to love the new 'improved' recording of a time to be so small, it was everything i wanted to be from the new interpol album; innovative, clever and down-right stunning. pure magic. i started writing about other albums, but couldn't stop. so here is a list instead... hope of the states - the lost riots; secret machines - now here is nowhere; ikara colt - modern apprentice; soulwax - any minute now; the blood brothers - crimes; the hives - tyrannosaurus hives favourite gig in 2004 ... television @ ulu; left me utterly speechless...and that's all i can say. your band of the year ... er, interpol have kinda ruled my life!! i think i shall also mention the homewreckers club here too, for they make me happy everytime they play. tips for 2005 ... i really really don't want to share them, but i don't see any way that's not possible ... youthmovie soundtrack strategies are gonna become huge. once ores comes out...you'll see...oh god, and the album as well. depending on if we were lied to or not, cdoass should be coming back at some point, with a shiny debut album - i don't think they'll be huge, but they'll definitely get a cult following. with me and ruth moog leading the way. caribou, who was manitoba who is the brain child of the lovely dan snaith, also have a new album out at some point. after up in flames' sucess, things can only get more random and sparkly from here on. - - - - - sammy wolf... favourite album from 2004 ... kasabian. it's great. favourite gig in 2004 ... sonic youth at brixton academy. they actually rule. your band of the year ... kasabian. as we speak i am wondering what they will do next? tips for 2005 ... the mars volta will get slagged off again, because they are too good. i chose them to rule the world, because i am a fan of progressive rock music. therefore it goes without saying that i recommend red jetson & youthmovie soundtrack strategies as well. - - - - - marisa... favourite album from 2004 ... interpol - antics favourite gig in 2004 ... eighties matchbox b-line disaster at academy 3, manchester, or the stills, kasabian, the rapture and black rebel motorcycle club at the hammersmith apollo, cause even though we missed the first two bands it was very entertaining. your band of the year ... interpol. tips for 2005 ... this is a hard one. i'm still quite busy catching up with the past. there's a lot of it to get through. ok tips, tips. um.. tarnished coins can be made shiny and new by soaking them in coca cola. maybe devendra banhart? oh god i'm really inspired now - how about tom vek? and monster bobby? the secret machines! the beat up!! - - - - - wes white... favourite album from 2004 ... the barbs - lupine peroxide favourite gig in 2004 ... october revolution - especially ivory springer, big joan and sammo hung your band of the year ... the subways tips for 2005 ... oh man, do this to me now, when i have a pile of several hundred cds to listen to that could supercede any i have in mind, why don't you? er. everyone mentioned above except sammo hung since they are tragically no more. plus, er, can i get back to you on that one? oh! i know. ralfe band. and new grand smoking palace. and everyone should listen to the bilderberg group with their ears, they're super good. - - - - - ruth moog... favourite album from 2004 ... i am going to say revolution by m.a.s.s. tyrannosaurus hives & kasabian too. favourite gig in 2004 ... delays' performance at v2004 chelmsford was totally awesome & possibly one of the most enjoyable events in my life. that was a totally excellent moment, & it was even better for following a great performance from the stands. also the hives & cdoass at the electric ballroom was ace your band of the year ... delays. without a doubt, all that stalking, for me & holly this was delays' year i think. tips for 2005 ... cdoass, apartment, rank deluxe & imogen heap. - - - - - gary go... favourite album from 2004 ... ray lamontagne - trouble favourite gig in 2004 ... muse at webster hall nyc, the mars volta at irving plaza your band of the year ... the walkmen tips for 2005 ... autolux. back to top

skimmed 25th january 2005 so! tonight i'm off to see some dance. the thing is, about me and dance, is it's a nostalgia thing. i did a mixed arts degree, there were lots of dancers on it and you can imagine what it's like as an english student to get to go and watch lythe young women (cos it was nearly all women) stretching and twitching their bodies to weird music at regular intervals. if you can't imagine i'll give a clue: you really appreciate dancers in that situation. here in this real world though fresh choreography is an infrequent occurence. at least, in mid-somerset it is. so the point i'm intricately winding my way round to here is, even if this was awful i would probably think it was great. contemporary dance triggers endorphines in my brain. uhh so yeh. this is what happens in skimmed. there are three different pieces. the first one has three dancers in. they all play around making funny little jerky movements with their bodies and the way their hands and arms interact with each others' suggest objects which aren't really there. i spend most of this one thinking "what's going on? it seems like lots of enchanting little movements and big movements, and it's all very beautiful, but i'm sure i don't know what anyone's meant to be feeling... and er there's a vague sense of something to do with weaving." the stage is higher than my seat and i feel as if something's going a long way over my head. later i get a look at the program and it says "woven, choreography by gill clarke. an abstract, lyrical trio that spills over the stage in loose-limbed passages of movement and moments of human quirkiness". so i was right and needn't have worried! the second one was about new york. it was called new york heights and was choreographed by the two dancers, catherine lee and emma wyke, who were two of the same ones that were in the first piece. i found that out by reading it in the program too, i couldn't have said with any authority that it was about new york otherwise. but i did sort of get an urban impression from it - i think from urban noises in the music. by "urban" i mean the hustle and bustle of the big city (where presumably you can go and see dance pieces every week if you want) rather than anything that might win a mobo award. i don't actually remember anything at all about this one except that at the end the blonde dancer (emma or catherine) was letting the redhaired dancer (catherine or emma) lay back in her hand and supporting her by the back of her head, and they were right in the corner of the stage with their backs to us which gave the impression that the emma or catherine was kind of "showing" catherine or emma the noise that filled the stage - which kind of represented new york. see? then she let her fall forwards and just at the point where she would have fallen she sprinted diagonally across the stage instead, and exited stage left in this dramatic manner. that was good, that. it was really kind of impossible to understand anything at all from the first two pieces though unless you're like some kind of dance buff or something. the third one, the right way to do wrong, was longer and had more of an explicit narrative and so you might have had a stab of a chance at that one. jo moulton, the third dancer who was in the first one but not in the second one, was back in this and so were the other two. it was all to do with a telegram that (according to the program) had something to do with harry houdini. i guess he wrote it. it was expressing how much he was going to miss the recipient and what they did was, they had a scene early on where there was a sheet being folded by two of them and one of them came in and unfolded the telegram and read it. the telegram left her feeling very alone - expressed by the other two walking off and leaving her on stage on her own - and then there were bits where the dancers seemed like they were being tender to each other but then started pinching each other, and bits where they got a groove on to some clubby dance music. which was sexy. the telegram was read out several times and at one point its effect was to push the recipient to the back of the stage shouting "stop" at the bits where it said "stop", and making her go into a fit when it finished. class! then right at the end they were unfolding the sheet again but, hey what's this! turns out actually to be a giant version of the telegram which she gets wrapped up in. all of which ably expressed the undue power seemingly benign words can sometimes have on our, uhm, mental wellbeing. just be careful how you word telegrams to dancers. then the whole thing was over, which was a bit of a shame cos i'd paid £8.50 for it. i want to know, though, why dance doesn't get more attention. people talk about their favourite writers, favourite bands, even favourite artists, all the time. dance is sexier than all of them, involving fit bodies the way it does (not that it's really all about sex, but you know what i mean), but no-one talks about their favourite choreographers. problem is no-one's watching. everyone go and see a dance piece next month and send ruthmoog some words on how it was, eh? fanclubdance@btinternet.com back to top