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(love of diversity, not mere tolerance) Racism is evil; we all know this. It is a terrible wrong to hate another human because their skin color or culture is different from yours. This has long been a passion in my heart, but like most white Americans I spent many years blind to the solution. If hate is the problem, then you can't use indifference to solve it -- to conquer hate you must have love. 'Tolerance' is not good enough. Knowledge is not good enough. To create real unity and stamp out racism, we need to cultivate friendships with races different than our own. I grew up in a family that considered itself godly, and would be horrified at the insinuation that they were racist. They never used racial slurs, they worked amiably with black people, and they 'had several black friends.' This, in their minds and many white American minds, is the definition of not being racist. However, they also taught me that interracial marriage was wrong and that black men were 'extra-sexual' and you had to be really careful around them; telling me that black people are different and you are not supposed to mix. This may not be spiteful, as it was ignorance that caused them to believe this, but it is racism. Anything that says 'this race is always this way' is racism. As I grew up, I didn't have much contact with black people, so the lies that white people passed on to me had time to take root. Fortunately, my family joined Liberty Church in Marietta, GA, where God was planning a revolution. Our Pastor, John Fitchner, preached a series on Racial Reconcilliation, which opened my mind to how God sees race, and how to eliminate racism from your heart. He told us how essential it is to have friends of other races, because the very culture we live in is racist. The only way to uproot stereotypes and lies is to be close to people of another race. The problem of racism doesn't become your problem until your friend suffers because of it. I found this very inspiring, and I desperately wanted to have a black friend, but I still had very little contact with other races (it took a few years for Liberty to get where it is now -- 50% non-white). However, a while after I moved out of my parents house, I began searching for a nanny position. After calling a million ads with no result, I asked the secretary at Liberty if she knew of any, and she hooked me up with the Wynnes, who were looking for a cheffeur/live-in-nanny for their two boys. After meeting with them and discovering that they were black, I was even more pleased with the situation. I knew it might be a little awkward, but I was so glad to have the chance to develop a relationship with people of another race. I lived with the Wynnes for a year, which was just awesome. Probably the most important change that I experienced was in how I saw black men; instead of fearing them as possible predators, I now tend to see older black men as father figures. This is because of Spencer -- because during the time I lived with the Wynnes I came to see him as my spiritual father. He supported my jewelry business, listened and cared when I talked to him, was open with me, and -- most importantly -- accepted me exactly as I was, and loved me for being me. I had never had a good relationship with my biological father, and through my relationship with Spencer I was able to grow up and accept myself as I had never been able to do before. His trust in me gave me so much self-confidence. The rest of the family is very important to me too -- Paula is a dear friend, and Gabe is my little brother. His maturity and humility impress me so much. He calls me his sister too. ;-) William only lived with the Wynnes for a week every month, and he's very quiet, so I didn't get to know him that well, but I love him too. Another important change in me was an increase in my awareness of racism. I had been under the impression that racism was pretty much a thing of the past, not something that still happened blatantly and constantly. Hearing Paula tell of how her fellow doctors treated her as less than themselves because she was a black woman, and seeing how Gabe was treated at his 'christian' high school made me aware that racism -- both spiteful and subconscious -- is still very much a problem today. I write a lot about the Wynnes in my journal -- if you want to read more about them you can click here. I'm still learning, and I still want a black friend my age... I've been praying for one. For now, I'm learning about other races -- I recently made friends with a Persian girl, and learning about her culture is very cool. I hope to one day be able to say that I am completely free of any subconscious racism, and I am willing to work for this goal. I believe that to be anti-racist, you must not only tolerate diversity but love it, and seek to have it in your life. Don't just 'tolerate diversity' -- embrace it! Celebrate color! Celebrate the richness of variety in color and culture, and make your life more colorful! |
       Please feel free to use any of these graphics to link to this page -- show your desire to celebrate color! |
| These are unedited emails sent to me. Please note that they are not necessarily my opinions: I include them here for added perspective. |
Date: Monday, November 1, 2004 @ 3:56 PM EST Submitted by: Alex Email address: www.gamefreak.b0x.com I'm white but I agree wholeheartedly with this page. As soon as I get the chance I will take a pic and link it on my site. It should be illegal to make rude comments and also it should be imprinted in white children's minds that blacks are equal to you. That's all. |
Date: Thursday, November 11, 2004 @ 6:44 PM EST Submitted by: Nessa Email address: http://www.livejournal.com/~black_hair_dye Racism, hmm that's interesting and has so many sides to it that it's hard to even start up a conversation about it. More importantly it's painful. Especially when for so many years you never thought it existed, figured that it had been resolved way before your time. But anyways, I really enjoyed your open christian view of it which was nice. I saw you on livejournal and I figured I'd check your page out and see what you're about... -nessuh |
Date: Friday, November 19, 2004 @ 2:05 AM EST Submitted by: Jurgen Hubert Email address: http://www.livejournal.com/users/jhubert/ I grew up in a small town in Bavaria where I didn't have much contact with people from other ethnic groups - none were ever in my classes. This trend continued during my university studies - few children of immigrants apparently wanted to study physics. Now I work as a research assistant at another university in a large city (about 300,000 people), and I regularly have to do with exchange students from all over the world, who came here to study material science. I try to help them as much as they can - with the new language, living conditions, and social contacts. I've invited a few of them to an evening of playing board games, and it now seems like we will do this on a regular basis in the future. To me, the color of their skin is of no importance at all - all that matters is that they are from faraway countries who have now suddenly been thrusted into this alien and confusing culture. I can understand a bit what they are going through - I studied in Scotland for half a year. But Scotland was nowhere as alien to me as Germany is to these students... |
Date: Sunday, November 21, 2004 @ 11:47 PM EST Submitted by: Allison Email address: allimoo82@yahoo.com I'm trying to write a paper for a class of mine about my opinions on racism. I find it to be a big thorn the in the proverbial side of the American society, but I find it difficult to relate because I myself have lived in a protected, prodominantly white environment. Your story has helped me a little and I'm glad there are people like me who are always trying to step out of their comfort zone and meet new people. |
Date: Monday, November 22, 2004 @ 12:26 PM EST Submitted by: lovegoth Email address: http://www.livejournal.com/~lovegoth When I was growing up I was in an environment that believed nothing but negative things about white people, without giving each person their own individuality. Through having close friends and facing some of my ignorant beliefs, I have reached the level in which I deal with each person I meet on a individual basis. Also when I did have close friends who happened to be white, I realized I still had bad beliefs -- even though I loved them as human beings I needed to let go of the ignorant beliefs. When I meet someone I don't identify them as an white person or an asian person but whatever their name is and get to know their own distinct personality. |
Date: Monday, November 22, 2004 @ 6:30 PM EST Submitted by: papapenguin Website: http://www.livejournal.com/~papapenguin Thank you. Not only for your willingness to learn and grow, but for your loving motivation. I also appreciate your recognition that racism exists in very subtle and subconcious ways. This is something that many people find hard to accept as valid. This is a historical and systemic issue, not just individual. People's shame and defensiveness often makes it difficult for them to hear it from non-white people. So thank you for voicing it, as a white person. It makes a world of difference. |
Date: Saturday, December 25, 2004 @ 5:27 PM EST Submitted by: Ankita Email address: ankita_patnaik@yahoo.co.uk Hey! I'm Ankita, a 16 year old Indian girl who lives in Bahrain and goes to the British school here. I'm guessing from my intro you can see that I'm a pretty mixed up kid, influenced by several different cultures. There's a lot of racism at my school. Even though there are only 14 students in the entire year, there is a huge barrier between the 'white' group and the 'colored' group. I found it extremely funny and strange at first, and sort of ignored the barrier when I first joined, because strangely enough most of my classes are with 'white people' since we have the same subjects, and I found them to be completely like me except for the color of their skin. But they refused to believe it, and assumed that because I am from India, I was a poverty-stricken uneducated backward retard. That's a pretty hilarious stereotype, because firstly, since I have lived in various different places in my life I have been influenced by loads of different cultures and secondly even I hadn't, people from India are not all food-deprived backward paupers. I grew to be really good friends with this one guy who was Canadian and didn't seem as racist as the others and actually began to have a crush on him. However, his friends didn't like his friendship with me, and asked him to cut it out, so now he only talks to me over the internet or on the phone, but treats me like shit in front of his friends. They refused to accept that I was after all, just like them, simply because of the color of my skin, and their own stupid mindless prejudices. I am truly and deeply hurt that people in the world today still think that way. When I was growing up, I was always taught that racism was a more or less slain demon, and that everybody lived together in harmony now. What's funny is that, even though you can somehow imagine adults doing this kind of thing, it's much more saddening to see children give themselves to such prejudices, injustices, and unbased hatreds. Pick up your kid's crayon box for a minute, and empty it out onto the dinner table. What you see is 12 little sticks of color rolling about. That's what this whole thing is about. That's what it all boils down to. Call me a 'backward mentally challenged retard' but I don't think racism makes any sense. |
Date: Sunday, December 26, 2004 @ 8:19 PM EST Submitted by: Becky aka self_collection Email address: www.livejournal.com/users/self_collection Like someone else said, I agree with so much that you've said that it's hard to know where to begin. I encounter subconscious racism all the time. I wish I had simple solutions to all the ignorance, intolerance, and racism in the world. I think often that resistence to change manifests itself into subconscious racism. I think many people's attitudes cannot be changed if they're older but we can definitely teach our children to love all people. |
Date: Saturday, January 22, 2005 @ 7:06 PM EST Submitted by: Sammantha Email address: rosayadarkchild@yahoo.com I know I am a racist, or I feel that I am. I don't know that I am happy with it, but that I do it as a defense mechanism. My experience with black people so far has not been good. I believe I became racist because I was a victim of racism. Living outside of Washington DC for 3 years left me shattered and ashamed of my heritage. Even now I am an object of racial slurs. I see the racism going both ways. My friends are racist against black people and I view myself as racist, too. And at the same time the black students at my school are racist as well. It's a cycle of hate. I have a great fear of older black men, which is probably not fair because it is based off of only two older black men, but it is there nonetheless. I think the racism going both ways has left me bitter to most of humanity. |
Date: Saturday, April 30, 2005 @ 2:48 AM EST Submitted by: VIVEK Email address: vivs2k2@yahoo.co.in It is so painful to see a person not getting the respect which he is worth...just because of colour of skin..I mean there are chances when intelligent people think that they are superior to other people because of their intelligence but when educated people as told by some of the visitors do the racist act ..its like ...its like fooolish what else...hey ankita ...I read your article I'm shocked after hearing your story. even da boys and gals of our generation thinks that india is a poor ..hungry country ..then I could suggest that they should leave their studies right now as for 16 years the results of their studies is nil... racism ...should be critisied in every manner ..every where every single time. |
Date: Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 7:09 AM EST Submitted by: Carolynn Kelly Email address: karnival@mweb.co.za I am a white South African 35 year old mom of two wonderful, incredible black children. Joshua Siviwe is 3 years old, (found) abandoned in a field in one of our numerous black townships and Cayla Joylin is 16 months old fortunately (adopted) through one of our government hospitals. Fortunately for me growing up under the apartheid regime both my incredible parents where anti-apartheid activists and as a result the effects, knowledge and understanding not only of the word racism but also the very real hurt this word causes was a daily reality for me. Post apartheid it amazed me how many South Africans loudly protested ever having being racist and left me pondering how a regime could last 40 years without anybody supporting them. Recently in my own life I discovered that in my group of friends ... about 6 couples ... one of them is still extremely racist and look upon my transracial adoption in as the biggest sin this world has... as a result we have been excluded from various occassions due to the fact she did not wish to have black people in her home... when I confronted my best friend regarding this she said .... "Yes I know she is racist and does this but I am not and still invite you into my home and love your children"... so this is how the apartheid regime stayed in place.... It is easier to say i am not a racist so therefore if someone else is then it is not my issue but theirs. The fact that by doing nothing we condone the behaviour is forgotten. It is so much more confortable to remain outside the realm ... so much more comfortable not to confront the issues and let sleeping dogs lie. Racism is an attitude! Many white people do not see themselves as racist but underlying it all is the diversity. When I first bought Josh home... the biggest issue in most people's life was "How are you going to look after his hair?" .... my biggest issue was AM I EVER GONNA GET ANY SLEEP AGAIN. Racism..... in any form no matter intentionaly hateful...or even hurtfully unintentional affects and degrades the person involved. Communication is the key and understanding our differences. Embracing them into our lives and our work is the key to one day not seeing colour. I am being completely honest when I tell you I no longer see my childrens colour but rather the people they are and the personalities they will yet become. When we as a human race can look at each other as exactly that.. another human being ... we will understand the beginnings of a much used word RESPECT and from that will come understanding...from understanding will come tolerance and from tolerance will come love. To live "outside" the box of what society has deemed in normal is the most rewarding and enriching experience of a lifetime. I often say to white people in my life if their is something in another culture (of which we have offically 13) or another lifestyle why not ask that person and allow them the opportunity to enrich you and your knowledge ... we learn about everything else in our lives in pursuit of education why not learn about each other... (in respect to the hair question I went into a african beauty salon and found they where more than eager to explain the ins and outs of hair to me.... I know know how to braid hair and how to do dreadlocks all by myself...proud mum or what!) My ultimate message is BE KIND TO EACH OTHER, BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER, LIVE FREE AND RESPECT EACH OTHER. The basis to just being a good person. |
©2003-04Belenen