Living with Aspergers

I was born and raised in a little village called Bearpark in County Durham, North East England.

Visit:-   www.bearpark-online.co.uk

I come from a large family, with 4 sisters and 2 brothers, so there's 7 of us all together. Amanda is the oldest, she's 40, She is married to Stephen and has six children, Samantha, Charlotte, Marc, Sophie, Sally and baby Stephen. Both Samantha and Marc have ADHD, and Marc is also been tested for other conditions including Aspergers. My next sister Chelsea is about 38, she is married to Gary and lives in the next street from us. You may have seen them on MOT My Marriage on ITV1.  Sara is 30 and married to Michael, she has 4 children, Shannon, Cameron Brodie and Preston. They live right next door to me. Cameron is like me, He doesn't like certain noises, and Brodie loves to line things up in straight lines. My brother Scott is 28, At the moment he is living in Darlington. Then I come next, Then my sister Laura who is 20, She is a lot like me, and has had a lot of problems at school and college. She has moved from one place to another among friends and family after a lot of problems and we think she may have Bipolar Disorder, which is also an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Finally my youngest brother is Danny he is 18, He has some annoying habits, But he is also the brains of the family,   He is just completed his first year on a BTEC Course in Computers at College and is half way through his second.  Other than that There is my mum Olga and My Dad Ian, I think it is my dad who passed down the AS gene, he is so much like us, so was his mother my nana. My mum is pretty average considering she has had us lot to bring up. She can't cook to save her life, and she thinks South Shields is in the South of England, But as mums go, she's great.

I can't remember Primary School much, But I do remember not finding it easy to make friends, I think because I lived in such a small village, the other kids noticed I was different, at this point I hadn't been diagnosed with AS, so everyone just thought I was strange. I wouldn't say I was on my own a lot, Because even at school I had brothers and sisters and cousins around me, But I never really interacted with them. I preferred to be on my own.

Secondary school is easier to remember, I got a lot of bad reports, because I would not listen to the teachers, I wanted to work alone, and would not work in a group. Although I did have a few friends, it was a very small group, mostly the misfits, that were not popular with the other kids, I left school with 6 GCSE's which was unexpected, because I done hardly any work in class, But I quite enjoyed the exam conditions, were I didn't have to talk to anyone. I was very lucky they allowed me to do my exams, as just before I was due to leave, I got into some serious trouble after taking a knife and lighter fuel to school. Although I hated school I think I was very scared at leaving as it would upset my routine so much.

Leaving school hit me hard, I lost the routine I needed and I just seemed to go downhill for about a year, Even ending up in a Physiatric hospital for two weeks, Not that it did any good, because I wasn't mentally ill, like the rest of them, I was stuck on a ward with a load of old people it just seemed to make me more depressed. When I left school I went through a number of Jobs and training, including training to be a car Valetor, working at the local garage as a valetor, Catering at college and working at a day centre as cooks assistant. Then I left home for  a year working at a holiday centre for children, I did catering for a year then moved onto another centre, where I took up a domestic/maintenance position, both positions were live in.

I often had trouble in most of my jobs, as I didn't like to be let down, Whilst at the garage, I had an argument with my supervisor which ended in my dismissal, I felt so let down I went back one day and damaged one of the bosses cars. Luckily he dropped the charges before it got to court. I never really got on with the others at college either. But my main problem was when I was at the holiday centre, The boss found it hard to live with me because of my problems, and he had to sack me, I felt it was a personal attack against me and I am sorry to say I subjected the boss to a lot of harassment and revenge. which ended in me being sent to prison for a sentance of 2 years 9 months.

Espa is an organisation that provides day and residential college places for people with Aspergers and other forms of Autism. To find out more visit. http://www.espa.org.uk/

Tasker House is one of ESPA's college which mainly specialise in Aspergers, But they have other colleges suitable for people with other grades of Autism.

I started at Tasker House which is one of ESPA's colleges for autism, in September 2005. I really enjoyed my time there, For once I didn't feel so different, everyone is unique in their own way and I didn't feel so left out.  I've made some great friends, both staff and students, and I found it a lot easier to interact with the other students and staff, For once I was not stood there looking stupid because I couldn't find the bottle to talk to anyone. It felt s so different than what I'm used to, But in a good way. I became a member of the Student Committee in my second year and also a peer Mentor (supporting other students) as well as been on the Equality & Diversity Committee and been appointed Equality & Diversity Coordinator.

As well as that ESPA nominated me for an award in Equality & Diversity, which Although I dint win I was one of the finalists.  It has made me so proud to represent the company in this way. The awards ceremony was held at the Gateshead Hilton on 28th September.

Tasker House offers help with social skills, community independence even help with relationships, While at Tasker, I did things such as painting and decorating, gardening, equality & diversity, art and scrapbooking as well as ESPA's Core Curriculum.

While attending Tasker I completed a course at Sunderland College (Shiney Row) which was my level 2 counselling certificate and I also completed a course in Criminal Psycology at Sunderlands womens centre, these courses where both organisied between myself and Tasker and I had support available when I needed it.

Tasker staff are all very friendly and always willing to help and support you.

I was turned down for a third year at Tasker, in September 2007. I cant say I wasn't disappointed but I have moved on.  I know a lot of people are missing me at Tasker and I'm missing them too, which is why I set up the ESPA Reunion group to stay in touch with past students and current students, we have get togethers every now and again. I have also just finished a distance learning course in Equality & Diversity, as well as completeing my Level 3 Certificate in Counselling at New College Durham.

I am now working at ESPA as a student counsellor,  While attending New College Durham once a week to study my next level of counselling.

Just to have the honour of coming back to ESPA is amazing but being a staff member is totally weird.  I have a lot to be thankful for and if I can change just one life for the better, It would make me the happiest person alive.

 Nobody should have to go through what I did just to get a diagnosis, I have been lucky to be able to turn my life around and make something of myself.  I couldn't have done that without the support from friends, colleugues, family and of course ESPA.

 Remember having an ASD does not stop you becoming what you want to be, There may be barriers you come across through life, but if you can't get over them, you'll often find there is some way around them.

I have gone from being a shy, anti-social person who struggled to communicate with the general population, to been an outspoken woman, proud of my achievements and proud to be unique.

 Three years ago I would not consider starting a coversation, Now you can see me stand up in front of an audience and speak out about my experiences.

I spent most of my life trying to fit in, Now I try to stand out, just in the hope that my experiences will one day stop something similar happening to another person.