08/15/05

Alright, I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this space.  Updating once a year does not seem to be keeping the ticker going.  Once I decide, I think I'll write the whole thing from scratch.  Should be fun, we'll see what happens.

--

AJB

Hard to believe it has been over a year since I last edited this bastard.(by bastard I really mean web site!  sshhh)

I think I may bring this some bitch back online.  We shall see...

Wow, an entire year ago yet only a year...So much has happened, yet, I am still in a very familiar place.  Isn't it Ironic?  Don't you think?

I don't think.

I doubt I'll let anyone know this is back online but if you happen upon it let me know.  I think it would be cool if word --spread on it's own.

^^^^

I think, for the time being at least, I’ll devote this site to MY sense of humor.  I can make most of my friends laugh so this shouldn't be a bad thing.  I should add that where I'm told I'm a funny guy, I’ve also been told I have a sick and twisted sense of humor and should die.  Either way I hope you are tickled by some of the same things I am.

If you aren’t?  That’s okay too, I am not looking to make friends with this nor do I desire more enemies.

I may also use this as a creative outlet or perhaps just a place to vent on the absurdity of humanity, or if I’ve just had a shitty day.

If I write a good joke, I’ll post it on this site.  I will also post jokes I find,(probably MUCH more of these)  I will do my best to list the author.  However sometimes I won’t be able to, so if you see something on this site that’s yours and would like credit or would like me to remove it, please email me.

-Aaron

I honestly hate to get all serious on this site, I really try to keep it light hearted and fun, but  I have made some decisions that strongly affect my way of life.  So here it is.....

You know the saying, “If you can’t beat em, Join em?”

I have decided resistance is futile.  I am converting to redneck.  I went the whole nine; New foam can coolie, Mullet haircut and a six pack of Busch Lite!  I even bought an old Chevy Camaro, removed the tires, painted it “Primer Grey” and put it up on blocks in my front yard.  My neighbors have been paying me compliments on it.  Every time I start my car to go to work or wherever, it is my duty as a smelly redneck to crack open a beer.  I have forgotten how to read (Don’t worry; I memorized what the Busch Lite label looks like).

I have even adopted the redneck mentality.  I hate anyone who is in any way different from me.  I watch Jerry Springer religiously and regard it as “educational programming.”  I regard Jeff Foxworthy as the greatest stand up comic to ever walk the planet!  NASCAR even appeals to me now. 

I’ve gotta go buy a new White Snake album and get my hair feathered.  I’ll update more later. 

I need to Keep this little site clean for members of my family and friends of faith. 

To do this I will need to create a Cuss word Key:

When you see:

F***         it means         Fart

Sh**         it means         Shop

@ss         it means         ass because it is not a bad word.

***hole         it means         Manhole

That should cover it!  I try not to offend.

Thank you,

Aaron J. Behrendt

Click Here!!!

Or Here!!!

9/21/2003

Haiku Corner in the random fun section!  Send me some!!  aaronbehrendt@hotmail.com

9/12/2003

Hey Lee Ann, It's ****in' Hot!

Update in the Journal,  New quote in Quote of the week.  Keep your eyes peeled for the Haiku Section under random fun. Coming soon.  Also check out the new additions to the friend photo page!  Thanks for visiting!!!

8/30/2003

Quote of the Week Compliments of David Behrendt, Click Here!

Journal Update! 

8/16/2003

Good Morning America.  Please check out the Links Page, if you have a link that kicks ass let me know.

Also, the has been updated.  Random Fun seems to be randomly fun.

I want to move the Journal over to  which is an online journal that really kicks ass, but I am finding it more difficult that expected.  They need a code which I can only get from an existing user or by paying.  I have no problem paying I just want to try it out first. If anyone can give me this code, it would kick ass.

8/01/2003

Ack no computer...No connection....  Check out the Journal for an update!  Also Thought of the week down below.

Look at that guys head! It's huge!

He is a 23 year old bartender living in Port Charlotte, Florida.  He was born and raised in Seattle, WA and the surrounding areas.  He actually only moved to Florida a few months ago.  Why?  He wishes he knew....He supposes he moved to Florida in search of some kind of adventure.  

HA!  He came to find out that Florida is full of old people, tourists, rednecks and crocodiles.  No joke!  It is unbelievable.  He has only been here for a few months and is already confident he's the smartest man in all of Florida! MuWah Ha Ha!

That may be the theme of this site, his contempt for America's Wang. We'll see. 

Nah, it isn't really that bad.  Florida is not really the south, right? If you ask me, Florida is the south without the flavor or character of the south.  Really though, some of Aaron's favorite people are from the south!  I can only think of one right now(Jared), but there has to be more.

You will be all right in Florida, as long as you have no intention of forming lasting relationships with people.  Oh and talk slow or you WILL be repeating yourself! 

Some of Aaron's interests include; Tennis, Video Games, A well made Gin Martini, Strong Dark Coffee(Good luck finding anything that does not come out of a can!!!!), The Seattle Mariners and Microbrews(you also can't get decent beer in the south! ssshhh, I don't think they know).  

Aaron J. Behrendt also likes to speak and write in the third person.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I have never had a website before.  I have always thought about it though.

I always wondered what I would put up, visualizing how cool I would make it.  I am finding it to be a lot more difficult than I originally anticipated.

The web address is so obscure I would be shocked if anyone found it.  As a matter of fact, if you do, please send me an email and let me know what you think.  Keep in mind I am a serious beginner.

AaronTheBehrendt@yahoo.com

ICQ#: 520580

My friend Justin suggested I put a counter on this site.  Who in the name of Christ and all that is good would ever visit this site?!?

You are the visitor to this site.

Just in case though, I decided it should go up into the Billions.

Thank you for visiting Aaron J. Behrendt's little piece of the web.