My brother is in the Navy and has yet to be deployed overseas, but when the time comes I know it will be difficult for my family. There was recently a special series on PBS called 'Carrier' and it spotlighted a Navy carrier mission- highlighting the individuals and families affected. We caught the very last episode the other night and it really hit me how even 6 months away from your family can have huge implications- so much LIFE continues on. And being home doesn't make everything return to "normal"- children especially are affected during and after deployment. Here's an article I came across that had really great advice for military families:
Reconnecting With Your Children
In the life of a child, every day can be a teaching moment- school is about to be out for summer and there are endless opportunities to teach your child life skills to be a mature, moral, motivated individual!
Other ideas? Share them here!
Time-Out is an extremely useful tool for helping children remove themselves from an upsetting situation or inappropriate behavior, take time to calm down and think of alternative choices, practice problem solving skills and self management skills, experience consequences, and regain composure. Finding the right place and method though is a child by child deal- there is no magic way to do it for all of your children. Do I hear an "amen!"? My last post touched on how our ability to model coping skills and expression of our feelings affects our child's development. Self management is a life long learning goal, a child doesn't turn 18 and then have it all figured out. Adults and parents also have trouble controlling their reactions, expressing their needs, and choosing the right behavior.
About to have your own temper tantrum or catching yourself behaving badly? Give yourself a time-out! If it works for them, it can work for you too!
· Pick your time-out spot
· Let your kids know where you’re going
· Set a time limit– 3-5 minutes works!
· Don’t sit still– stretch, jump, twist and wiggle it out!
· Take deep breathes
· Listen to music
· Think about what you’ve done– how did you react, what could you have done differently?
· Get a grip– calm down and prepare yourself to join the outside world again
· Explain yourself– apologize, talk to your kids about what frustrates you and how you all can work to make things better
· Share your techniques– as you learn good coping skills with stress or anger, use them as teaching moments with your kids for their time-outs!
