I suppose I had to do something to make sense of some of the bits of later dialog so I simply made it take place sometime before bonfire night as the crew are about to play football.

This is all in a Glaswegian accent as you can probably tell judging from the use of the c word. 
That's how Neds speak, whether they mean to offend or not, they do it out of plain habit. 
As for the fireworks. Click here to learn about that.

"We get phonecall" is a reference to a Chewin the Fat sketch.  In this sketch, Ronald Villiers is trying out a part for a new Star Trek film where he has to tell Captain Picard that the Borg are hailing them.  He stupidly says "That's the Borg on the phone for ye".

Apparently, Dobber means "Someone who tells on a person". 
Not in Scotland. Up here its another term for "Dick".

The character here just so happens to be the same Ned that you have to try to avoid in this survival game.

I don't know why the Captain is holding his head like that.  Perhaps he tried to attack NEDS forgetting that it was just a hologram and he smacked his head off the floor?

That last line there is a reference to Taysiders, a Scottish mince-take of Star Trek

Oh dear God.  From the looks of things, I'd say a Ned is responsible for this outrage.  How do I know?  Well, the last time I heard of someone was killed by a sword through the eye, it took place in Cumbernauld, by a Ned, In October.  It also looks like that "All your Pants" parody by CyberSp0nge that's been vandalized.  Now why would a Ned do that?

-sigh- All for the sake of a pun.
This is a popular Ned phrase, which is always said to a person wearing trousers that shows the bit of leg above the ankle.  Basically if they see this, they always have to inform the person that the domestic animal living in their house that goes meow has snuffed it, regardless of whether they actually own one or not.  You can also see that CATS's trousers have been lifted up to reveal the bare part of the body that sets these neds off.

Ha ha. Here I am to save the day. I cant remember why my eyes went blue all of a sudden. Its kinda creepy.

Behold, tis Gavin, King of Scots. Watch as he fails to reason with the ned.

So instead he decides to take a more ned-like approach to the situation.

And so do I.

Obviously inspired by the survival game. This time, its the ned that gets it in the face.

This method of dealing with the ned is also inspired by a cartoon on GlasgowSurvival.co.uk but with a goth being victimized instead.

If you turn the volume up whilst watching that cartoon you will hear an extra "F@ck sake". This ned must've heard it twice and that's why he says it here.

If you want to know what happened to him afterwards, I gave him to a couple of my friends who then proceeded to "take care of him".

And that's what happens when a super-powered cartoon character catches a ned defacing someone else's property. BWAHAHA.