British Lion Football Club

Playing Staff 2008/2009

COMING SOON

Where do we start!!! Continually awaiting for Chelsea to come in with their £5m bid – although would settle for a chip butty as his wages. Signed for the British under the influence of Aftershock. Has written off more of his Mums cars than can be counted, as well as nicking then selling a Christmas tree to  a Chinese fella, another persuaded to join from Crown FC, the Devizes Town goalie will be wearing the Lions number 1 – as he struggles to count any higher. With his dad Kev being a Sunday league old school player, Martin will need to live up to the legacy.

Daffy has re-signed for the new British team after commanding the Lion defence for the last couple of years, with a banana left foot strike and strong in the air, Daffy will be a key player in the Lion back 4. Named club captain for the season due to his ‘experience’ and ‘maturity’, the Dad of the team mainly due to the fact he’s old enough to be most of the players Dad. A Newcastle fan who seems to think one day the glory days will return (um....I’ve checked there were never any glory days in the first place!)

The longest serving player at the club, Tom hasn’t left since the days of the team being the old Bar OC, joining the same season as the gaffa – Tom showed commitment or laziness of not looking for a new team. Tom has recently been rewarded for this by being named vice captain behind Captain Crawford. Has played in many different positions including in goal! ;)J Club do’s will be arranged around Tom depending on what time phase one of his 3 phase hair styling he’s on. Probably has the sexiest car in the team – still paying his Nan back for it....

Another player who was in the Devizes Blues squad, Andy can play anywhere across the back, although playing for Kings Arms (Market Lavington) last season he boasts he scored 4 goals in 2 appearances from the right side of midfield. Will play havoc on referees, opposition, team mates and the gaffa by having the option to play pranks by switching with his twin bro. Has voted for his brother to be top goalscorer come the end of the season!!

Brett caught the eye a couple of years ago when the gaffa was in charge of local rivals Crown FC and almost signed....until the drugs he had spiked me with wore off. The self proclaimed Chairman, Captain, Vice Captain, Top goalscorer, best striker etc etc of the British Lion, will slot comfortably in at full back on either flank, can also do a job in the centre of midfield. Will please skipper Dave Crawford as he is another barcode fan.

Has star studded status on the pure fact he is a YID, Beano undoubtedly has an abundance of talent, defensively minded the young Devizes Town player will be a good addition to the side, Marlborough based Charlie will be sharing many a nights with Sooty to play for the British. Everyone seems to be looking forward to Beano earning his first pay packet.........he might then invest in a haircut.

Jez is another who has followed Bewley from the Crown FC; the Monday night football was a big part of capturing the centre half’s signature, the calmness of Jez on the ball is a joy to watch, in a fine addition Jez has a rocket of a shot and is a sublime passer of the ball. Compares himself to Sergio Ramos of Madrid for what reason we’re still working out! Has family connections with the local scrapyard so theres no excuses for anyone to be late on a Sunday morning due to car failure!!  Will probably be most voted as longest in the shower!

Consequently Joe was persuaded to sign for the Crown FC two years ago after impressing in the annual Ken Clarke 6-a-side by Bewley, a signature and £5 signing on fee later Joe didn’t play a single minute for the then 4^th division side. Joe came back this year with a suttle hint ‘I need to get some games under my belt’ to which Bewley snapped him up and hasn’t looked back since, solid at the back and hardly puts a foot wrong – apart from when it’s in someone elses face. Will be a big loss to the team when he returns to uni, the big time Swindon fan concerns some members of the team with his antics and a can of shaving foam……….

After leaving Devizes and joining Worton and Cheverall  Jordan has decided to come and play in the mens league, a young player who has bags of technical ability, a right sided player Jordan can hold his own......against anyone his size. A big time Man Utd armchair fan Jordan is finally learning how to play pool after getting cained by the gaffa. Likes a beer or two so will probably fit in well with the rest of us. Enjoys wearing tight shirts under his football shirt.........poof

Larger than life midfielder with quick feet, Danny is in the mould of Jan Molby and will purely sit in the middle of the park – no doubt causing an earthquake! Has a top pass and is deadly at set-pieces, happily necked a bottle of Spiced Rum whilst the rest of the squad supped on a couple of beers. Has become well acquainted with the club secretary and will add bite into the team. The grizzly looking 25 year old will no doubt prove to be a massive coup.

A luxury player for the team, played mens football 2 years ago for the first time, scored on his debut from midfield and then proceeded to score 5 goals in 4 appearances from centre half. Won the league and cup double in his under 18’s team. Reece will undoubtedly be a top quality addition to the squad when available, doesn’t drink as he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol!!!

Son of ex-Devizes Youth Chairman, the Devizes Town midfielder will be playing his first season in Sunday League, enjoys quiet nights in with Beano on Saturday nights. Alex has wonderful vision and can pick a pass out. Will play a key role in the centre of midfield and will be involved heavily with changing room antics and banter. One of the first to sign on Sooty will no doubt be top competitor with Bainer to see who will win the prestigious title of ‘KING OF THE CHIP EATERS!!’

Possibly the most technically gifted player in the squad, with a sublime touch eye for a pass, strong as an ox and a deadly strike – natural?, or the fact he used to be the gaffas number 2 at Devizes Youth (Think he was learning not coaching!) Signed for the Crown FC when Bewley was in charge, another who has come across, will be known to harker on about his hatrick from left wing against Corsham Utd in a 10-1 romp. Has informed us he has the penis girth of a smarties tube. Another loss when he returns to university, but no doubtedly will be a fantastic addition when playing.

Half Italian, Half English, Half Chelsea doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going, the Italian Stallion is comfortable playing in midfield or defence. Is great at making a last ditch tackle, this is due to the player already flying past him. Lives in the shadows of his illustrious fathers credidentials. Rossi worked his way through the Devizes ranks and is one of many in the squad that was part of the ‘succesful’ Devizes Blues squad. Is the spitting image of Mario from Big Brother.

The third player in the squad to be part of the cup final Worton and Cheverall team, strong as an Ox, the wing man come striker will be looking to get his adult football experience in the lower leagues of the Chippenham setup, dedicated to the maximum to the British Lion and has already fallen in love with the club describing training as ‘best he’s ever had!’ – Obviously hasn’t got laid yet! The versatile 16 year old can be heard shouting about his antics at Swindon games after his 2 cans of Stella on a Friday night.

The newest recruit of the side Kyle will answer to anything beginning with a ‘k-u’ sounding word J the youngster impressed recently in the first event of the season by becoming absolutely sizzled then realising Devizes Clubs didn’t actually have any ‘rat’. A talented player whose calmness on the ball is impressive, spreads balls well; in the changing rooms as well as on the pitch. Cockier than Cristiano Ronaldo, with a quick wit and one line clangers will surely be nominated Prick of the Week on many occasion.

Webby has rejoined the British team after having the summer off, all time top goalscorer for the club finishing  the main talisman in the previous 4 seasons. Webby will add experience, maturity (did I just write that) goals and options to the squad – being able to play in goal as well. Has recently slimmed down loads and now may have some pace. Will annoy any Swindon fan with his conversations of how great Oxford were in the days of John Aldridge. Is the only player to have played at Nursteed road and needed a billboard to carry him off injured as the stretcher was too small..........

Like Brett, Jimma was due to sign for the Crown from arch rivals AFC Bell a couple of years ago, will be out of action for the first two months of the season due to a broken ankle after go karting on holiday.....after splashing out 360 euros on getting fixed, Jimma went to claim on insurance only to find out go karting wasn’t covered........but he was covered for paragliding or abseiling. Will be eventually challenging to be top goalscorer, enjoys taking pictures of his nuts on holiday.