Find My Way Home.. {For My Goddess}
My Goddess and I 2005
Finding My Way Home:
Believe it or not when I was five almost six years old February 1972 or so, I was sitting in the "family" driveway playing with rocks and I had a thought.. That thought was "When I grow up all I really want to be is a good daddy for my kids and a good husband for my wife". Why would a five year old have this thought, you might ask? I really don't know other than my "Dad" being a total dick head jerk drunk at the time and maybe it was my way of saying I didn't want to be like him, or maybe just maybe it was the first time in my life that I felt the warmth of my wife's love for me in my heart.. I don't know my wife was born February 23, 1972 and to the best of my knowledge February 1972 was when I had that thought so, you tell me. As I grew I found qualities I needed in a wife all around me, she needed to be the most caring, loving, and beautiful woman that would ever live on this earth first. Next she would have to accept me for what and who I am me. Also, she would need a few things that I won't go into here other than to say that the person that has all these things and many, many more that me in my human state could never think of to know I need in a spouse is now my wife.
When I was 17 years old I had a dream in which I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life (the dream was set at a summer camp I use to go to ever year). In the dream we were both nude but for her in a pair of blue panties that stayed on her throughout the dream. We just couldn't take our eyes off of one another for what seemed like forever that went on and finally laid on a bed and started to make love, the blue panties no need to remove them I ripped right through them but, alas the dream ended just as this happened. There was a third person in the dream just a dark shadow in the top right corner of the bed sitting watching us, I have since
come to believe that this figure was the Goddess Aphrodite (the Goddess of Love and Beauty). I have always remembered what the girl in this dream and never really got the image of her out of my mind, always wondering if she was really out there somewhere, I always looked and never found her.
Both my wife and I getting side tracked in our searches by other events, other people, and other things. This just got in the way of us finding each other when we should have.. Forward 20 or so after my dream and 32 years after my thought in the "family" driveway, I have a beautiful woman coming through my line at work a lot. At first not thinking much of it (her and I had a friend in common)I had been introduced to her a year or so earlier and as far as I knew she was happily married so, I didn't think I had a right to think anything of it.. Anyway, She keeps coming into work and buying small things just to be able to talk to me and see me.. I never thought anything of it until one she brought her daughter in with her one night to meet me and she had the biggest most beautiful smile on her face, when she got to my register despite the smile I couldn't help but feel that she needed a hug a hug that I didn't give her out of fear of offending her, I was at work and that could have been bad if I had offended her.. A couple of weeks later October 10, 2003 there this woman is again in my line and she says "Can I have your phone number, Cassandra is trying to fix us up"? I said "Why don't you just call"? I gave her my number.
Well, a couple of hours later I got done with work so I turn on my phone and there's a message from Cassandra so I end up calling and talking to this woman that keeps going through my line.. At first she won't tell me her name and I'm thinking I'm going to hang up because it's kind of making me mad that she won't tell me her name, she finally tells me her name is Brenda so, we talk a little more and before I know it I am over there. From 10:30PM to about 3AM or so we just talked and talked about anything and everything right before I left we kissed (she kissed me), It was Our first night of true love. We spent every minute we could getting to know each other. We would be sitting on the couch next to each other, talking, holding one another, and gazing into each others eyes. Me realizing that she was the most beautiful, loving woman I could or would ever be with, her finding out that I was the man she had always wanted in her life, the whole time both of us falling deeply in love. November 3, 2003; was our first time together in love which didn't last as long as we would have loved for it to. November 7, 2003 for the best night of love making I know for me and I think for either of us up to that point in our lives that night was magic in the truest way.
Brenda got an apartment I ended up just staying from the first night on but for a couple of nights in the first week or two we were there and together for good. She told me she loved me for the first time in that same apartment. A week after us being there we were laying in bed after making love and looking into my eyes she says "So when are we getting married"?? I say what! With surprise in my voice and she ask Gary will you marry me?? Being shocked I say "Sure" when I figured out a few minutes later that she was serious I said yes but, not before she was a little put off by the "sure" answer.. She asked me when? I thought for a minute and said May 1, 2004; Beltine after both of our first marriages were over we had to push the date up, besides all the girls would be there on April 2ND. I haven't regretted a minute of it, marrying Brenda is the best thing I have ever done in my life. In January 2004 Brenda's Grandma died and I came down to Boonville with her, her sister, and Tiffany for the funereal. I didn't want to leave Boonville, I finally felt like I was home (I never felt that way in Kokomo, at all) Kokomo, was never home to me. We visited Boonville, again in October 2004 and again over Christmas 2004 each time me hurting more and more to just stay in Boonville.
June 3, 2005; we finally moved to Boonville, me for the first time and Brenda moving back home. But, I feel like
Boonville, is my true home Boonville is where I belong, I love it here and I can relax here like I never have been able to anywhere else. Boonville is where my heart has always been, I feel since that day in 1972 in the "family" driveway. Boonville has been home to me and Brenda and mines hearts have always been one since that day. I have felt from the beginning that we have always had a true connection in our hearts.