Have you ever seen those mysterious buses with the blacked out windows? Cruising Europes motorways, usually in the middle of the night. You might see them parked at music festivals or outside venues and halls. Carrying bands and their crews from city to city, gig to gig, festival to festival. You can't see in, but who's looking out at you? Could be your favorite singer or band or maybe one of their crew.
Band buses, sleeper buses, or crew buses, ( some people even call them 'vans'!! ), call them what you will, but never and I mean NEVER call them coaches!
They can be single or double deckers, and are licensed to carry only 10 - 18 passengers. As the talent comes off-stage, after a shower and a scoff, they'll board the bus and head off into the night to the next venue, waved off by adoring fans and groupies. Wannabe bands and singers frantically trying to hand a demo CD to the driver as they go. I've remember a tour, leaving a gig and doing 70mph on a German autobahn when a car draws alongside us and with one guy hanging out the window, tries to pass over a CD! Mad!! Driving a double decker whilst pulling a trailer full of 'back line' ( stage equipment) across the Alps in January or a left hand drive bus through the streets of London, its anything but a dull job!
The life of a band bus driver!
A highly desirable job is the band bus driver! Or is it??? You will usually have to know someone on the scene already as most operators won't take on anyone with no experience or who is unknown to them. Its not quite the exciting job that it looks, trust me! You'll need to be a confident driver, very comfortable with the size of your vehicle. Have a wee bump whilst driving a Stagecoach service bus and you'll end up standing before your boss...same wee bump in a band bus whilst carrying Robbie Williams and you'll make the front pages of the national newspapers!...and you'll have bands requesting any driver but you!! Take the roof off or fall asleep at the wheel and you'll never drive large vehicles again. Then of course theres always the possibility of finding yourself on the receiving end of a law suit from one of the high powered legal firms that most bands and record companies employ. If their 'talent' has to cancel a gig because they hurt themselves when you took a bend too fast, braked a bit heavily or mounted a pavement or kerb, then they'll want compensated, and guess who they'll come looking for?!!
Some of the spaces you'll find yourself reversing into or trying to park in would scare a 'normal' driver to death. Down narrow side streets and alley-ways you'll go, guiding the biggest vehicles on the road, without a fear in the world! Then back out again at night! Great fun, especially if you're pulling a trailer full of back-line...oh the joys!!
Sleep deprivation is by far the worst part of the job. You'll be expected to drive through the night whilst everone on board sleeps, and then when you arrive at the next gig, they always park you in the noisiest area, usually right next to the stage at festivals or beside the punters queue at gigs. So now you've got to grab some sleep before you set off again at 1 or 2 in the morning to the next city or town. Of course you can't head for your bunk until you've sorted out your land-line and plugged into the mains supply, then do the cleaning and changing all the sheets and duvet covers in all the bunks, this sometimes can number as many as 18, but is more usually 10-14! Best to put a notice up the day before, advising your guys when you're gonna change their sheets, I always do but I still find lots of wee 'tissues' and 'bunk socks' (think about it!) in among peoples bedding!!!...my advice....wear gloves!!
Dealing with egotistical pop 'stars' is another part of the job that takes a bit of getting used to. You have to remember that, although its your bus, and ultimately, you're in charge, its also their 'hotel room' for the duration of the tour so you do have to give them a certain amount of 'carte blanche' whilst they're aboard and as such, you are the chamber maid, which means that when they are off the bus, you will have to tidy up their mess! Never touch their personal belongings though, they will notice if someone has been through their stuff! Oh, and its considered 'not cool' to ask for autographs and photo's, except on the last day of a tour. thats when most of the crew will be taking group pictures and its usually OK to get a few in yourself, including asking the 'talent' for a posed photo of you and them. Not all musicians are the same, how nice they are seems to equate to how famous they are (or how famous they perceive themselves to be). Some will come down the front of the bus and sit and chat as you drive, some won't even say hello...ever! Some will join you at your table in catering and some will always eat off-site. When picking them up, sometimes at their house, some will even invite you in for a cuppa while you wait. 
Driving the crew bus is a different game altogether from driving the band bus and in the industry it is generally considered the best place to be. As, like you, the crew are only there because they're being paid to be there, you will generally be accepted as part of the crew, or a roadie, even if they've all been together for a long time. They will treat you as one of their own, and this does mean there will be a degree of piss taking and good natured banter! If you can't take the banter, don't do the job! You may get on like a house on fire, but don't get carried away, smoking a wee joint with the crew (in Amsterdam of course!) might seem like a good idea at the time and nobody will say anything, but when you climb into the driving seat, someone will have a quiet word with the tour manager and your boss will be on the phone with your flight number home.
Load-out! The crew of course are responsible for all the instruments and stage equipment, so by the time its all stripped down and packed into the trucks, they're usually a couple of hours behind the 'talent' in setting off. As they board, they'll dive into the fridge for a beer and a sandwich before settling down in the upstairs lounge for the journey ahead. A few drinks, maybe a few 'cigarettes' and then its off to the bunk for a kip. You're missing all the fun of course, you're all alone in your wee dark cab. A can of Red-Bull and a couple of Pro-Plus every half hour or so, no bother!
European driving regulations restrict you to 4.5 hours driving before you must take a break of at least 45 minutes. If you're lucky enough to have a double driver with you, thats his cue to strap himself into the Isri seat and your cue to hit the sack for 4 and a half hours. How well do you know him?Trust him not to fall asleep? Have a look at the pictures of the Domino Berryhurst bus that crashed in Spain whilst on tour with Alien Ant Farm on the MTV website here: mtv.com . Result...one driver dead, several band and crew seriously injured...scary stuff indeed! Bottom line?...obviously, don't fall asleep at the wheel!! Save it for your bunk! Its actually very easy to sleep in a band bus bunk, they're quite cosy once the curtains are shut, the gentle rocking of the bus sends you off to sleep quite quickly! Dreaming about being a rock n roll star no doubt! Aye, that'll be right!!
Band bus drivers worst nightmare? Low bridges!! They're not always marked with the safe height in some parts of Europe. If in doubt...stop and edge under it with your head out the window or better still, get someone out to watch you. Of course its not just low bridges you need to watch, I did a gig at 'Christiana' in Copenhagen one night and came out the exact same way that I went in, only by this time, someone had strung a banner right across the street. I wasn't sure so I stopped. The tour truck just behind me didn't stop though, he passed me and tore down the banner, only thing is, it was held up there by metal cables and they ripped through his air deflector and tore it right off his truck. Oh how we all laughed! hahahahmmmm! Discretion is the better part of valour! Another time, the only way into a venue in Valencia, Spain was under a low, and I mean low bridge. I was in a single decker so my double driver jumped out to have a look. Only after lowering the suspension we got through with about an inch to spare!
Another downside to the job is the time spent away from home. Its most definitely not a monday to friday 9-5 job! I was working away for up to 10 months of the year, not conducive to a harmonious family life! And the promise of a couple of free tickets for a gig when you're near your home town doesn't tend to wash with your family....well not with mines it doesn't!! I found it very much a single mans vocation. It can be a very lonely, nomadic existence. 
I've driven all over Europe from Norway in the North to Spain in the South, Poland to the East and Ireland and Portugal in the West. I've seen hundreds of motorway service stations at 3 in the morning but very few landmarks and tourist attractions! I've been to Paris 12 times, but seen the Eiffel tower once....at night, from about 3 miles away! Oh, on the subject of driving in Europe, although most of the border controls are gone now, some still survive, like when you cross from Spain into France at Irun, near San Sebastion or coming into Britain, you'll find some sort of passport control. They'll probably board the bus for a nosey, and thats all it is, a nosey! There really is no justification for them to board the bus, but they know its a band bus and they want to meet the 'stars'. They'll wave all the tourist buses through and stop the band bus...oh yes, every time. Good advice is to get some 'swag' from the merchandise guy, they'll usually give you a handful of T-Shirts (sometimes some confiscated counterfeit gear!) for the border guards. Keeps them happy and fascilitates a speedy progress through control! Oh and don't forget to stop half an hour before the border to ensure all the ashtrays are emptied into the bin. It won't go down well when the guards see an ashtray full of suspicious 'materials'!!
You'll find that its a very hard job to get into in the first place....and when you've had enough, its an even harder one to get out of! By the way, I'm refering to bus drivers here as 'he' and 'him', but thats not to say that theres no women that on the job, there is a few, and very good they are too, but by far the majority of drivers are male.
Reading this page so far, you'd think this was the worst job in the world! Not so...I love it! It is a very enjoyable job and the perks and wages can be very, very good. On the bigger stadium and arena tours theres extra money to be made from working the follow spot-lights at the back of the hall or 'clicking' (using a counter to count people in to the show, just to make sure the promotor or venue isn't ripping off the production!). These jobs are almost always done by the bus and truck drivers and are very much sought after. On the smaller tours, you may get a wee job selling the merchandise for a few extra quid! Just walking around a gig or festival with that much valued back stage pass hanging round my neck still gives me (and most people) a buzz. And the groupies? Well, what can I say, the groupies are drawn to you because they think you can get them closer to the star! (Not at all likely with the big stars, but then why not make the most of it while you can!!). 
Some girls (and guys if thats your thing!) really will do anything for a backstage pass. On the big stadium tours, like Bon Jovi or Red Hot Chili peppers, theres an enclosure area at the front meant exclusively for the fan club members. Go ask the head of security for a handful of wristbands that will allow entry into this area and watch the faces light up when you walk out into FOH with a handful of these! With your AAA laminate you can even 'walk' people into the gig, even if they don't have a ticket. Always handy to remember that one. Don't abuse the privilege though...its not cool and it makes you look unprofessional.
You'll collect lots of goodies for ebay like laminates, clothing, itinerarys and signed stuff. I keep all of mine of course, but some people stick them on ebay right away. A crew tour jacket from a Bon Jovi tour recently sold on ebay for £170! Laminates can go for anything up to £20 each so grab as many as you can. I keep my own and any doubles I get somehow find their way to ebay, funny how that happens! Some crew guys don't collect them and will leave them on the bus when the tours finished, yah dancer!....ebay!
Of the many thousands of bus and coach drivers there are in Britain, theres maybe only about 50 or 60 that regularly drive band buses. You'll feel like your part of some elite, select few or something! The best of the best...top gun...all that crap! By the way, on the road, always wave to other band bus drivers whether you know them or not, thats another 'Top Gun' right there! Throughout festival season, which runs from April to September, which is by far the busiest time in the industry, I bump into the same guys again and again in various parts of Europe. I've made friends whilst on the road that I'll keep for life, including other drivers and band and crew guys as well.
Its probably the most sought after and enviable position you can get with a bus licence and sure beats driving the 330 service bus from Forest Gate to Canning Town!
I love driving band buses......!
<< Me, Rock n Roll!!
Wanna be a Band Bus Driver? Read the section above entitled 'Wanna be a band bus driver?'.
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