If you find yourself caught in the tangle of self destructive behavior there are many avenues to recovery and growth.

Quit blaming yourself

Begin by taking a clear-eyed look at your life, right now. What's working? What's making you happy? What's not?

Define what needs to change

Recognize that change takes time. Give yourself both emotional space and sufficient time to make the changes that will be useful to you.

Find help

(Thinking we should be able to do everything by ourselves is another self destructive behavior!) Choose friends, helpers, teachers, groups, mentors, therapists, who offer you honest feedback, new information, and useful support for becoming the best of your own kind of person.

Recognize

The process of recovery from addictive, compulsive, self destructive behaviors can be overwhelming. You may be confronted by new emotions and flooded by memories. You may find yourself replacing one set of self destructive behaviors with another.

Be aware

Women seeking recovery from self destructive behaviors frequently find their progress blocked by the previously unrecognized impact of psychological trauma, loss, childhood neglect, abuse, abandonment, sexual assault, and patterns of emotional or physical abuse as well as self neglect in adult relationships.

Too often the woman trying to recover from self destructive behavior finds herself in a revolving door of treatment / self-help / relapse because the core processes of her psychological and emotional development have not been attended to.

The key elements for moving beyond self destructive behavior are self awareness, self responsibility, and a well developed process of personal choice.

Remember

Self destructive behaviors are rigid, unhealthy patterns of responding to feelings of shame and powerlessness.

Change away from self destructive behavior proceeds by gathering the skills and self awareness to move in the world with self assurance and self determination.