My best friend, Amanda, wrote this poem for me. She is my rock, I love ya girl :)
KIM'S HEARTACHE
I can see the smile upon your face
and I hear it in your voice
I know something 'they' never will
that it never was a choice
The only words you hear out loud
are the ones that make you cry
The only way you make it through
is telling 'them' all a lie
You leave the hurt inside your heart
because 'it's in the past'
but your soul is tearing piece by piece
in a memory that will always last
How is a broken heart to heal
if you listen to what 'they' say
How do you honour his memory
if you never know yesterday
The future still awaits your prints
although it may be hard
It's ok to "Remember When"
when the past is who you are
Allow yourself the time to cry
but let that smile flaunt
your baby boy feels no pain
and that's what he would want
These are some inspiratial poems that I have found and help me get through the trials of daily life without my son.
When your parent dies, you lose your Past
When your child dies, you lose your Future
I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today.
I asked, 'What makes a Mother?' and I know I heard Him say,
A mother has a baby, this we know is true,
But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you?
Yes you can, He replied, with confidence in His voice
I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, others for a day
And some I send to feel your womb, but there's no need to stay.
I just dont understand this Lord, I want my baby here!
He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear,
I wish the I could show you what your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile with the other children and say.
'We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear,
My mummy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mum who had so much love for me,
I learned my lessons very quickly, my mummy set me free.
I miss my mummy oh so much, but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay,
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear,
Mummy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here'.
So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are ok,
Your babies are here in my home, and this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me, until your lesson's through,
And on the day I call you home they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you know what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart,
Its the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realise until their time is done,
Remember all the love you have,
And you ARE a special mom!
Ask My Mum How Is She
My Mum, she tells a lot of lies
She never did before.
From now until the day she dies.
She'll tell a whole lot more.
She used to tell the truth, a lot
But now it doesn't matter.
I died and went to heaven,
And her life is all a-shatter.
Ask my Mum how is she.
She'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!"
She wants to beg "Please help me.
I can't find that boy of mine!"
Ask my Mum, how is she,
She'll say, "I'm alright."
If that's the truth then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mum, how is she,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice, you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
You think you know the feeling,
But this cannot be.
For even though you loved me,
You didn't love as much as she.
She will smile and tell you,
"It's o.k. God has a plan."
But she will turn away and cry
'Cause she just can't understand.
Tell a joke and she will laugh,
But she is not o.k.
She wants to share the joke with me,
But it will not be today.
I watch from here, in Heaven.
Her distress disturbs my peace.
Will someone please take care of her,
And thus take care of me?
"Some day you will feel better."
"Yes I will." she lies.
She knows this will not happen,
Until the day she dies.
"I was so lucky!
I had him all those years!"
(They passed in a minute,
I shed so many tears.)
Ask my Mum how is she,
She'll say, "Thank you. Good."
She cannot tell you how she feels.
Oh, how I wish she could.
Ask my Mum how is she,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake, Mum, just tell the truth
Just say your heart is broken.
Ask my Mum how is she,
"I'm well, I'm good. And you?"
I'll shake my head in Heaven.
It simply isn't true.
She'll love me all her life.
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask how is she,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
Her carnival is over.
She's stepped off the carousel.
But, to save you feeling badly,
She'll say, "Thanks, all is well."
My Mum, she's not gone mad, yet.
But, oh so very nearly.
Don't ask my Mum how is she,
Ask how is she, really.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you, don't listen.
Hug her, hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!"
Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?
A Lament for My Baby
I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry
didnt get a chance to say "Hello"
you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Your life was short yet special
I shared it all exclusively
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick.
You were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel
and every angel is divine
God needed one in heaven
He came down and took mine
And although we are not together
we're not really apart
for you'll always occupy a space
deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello"
and heard you say "Goodbye"
~Author Unknown
The Cord
We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away…
There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world
I felt your presence there inside of me,
nestled soft and warm;
Sweet scent of baby's breath,
precious words left unadorned.
I saw your tiny heartbeat,
then I knew that you were fine;
A perfect baby we created,
one that would be mine.
Then that tragic day it came
there was nothing I could do,
Only wait and hope
for the precious life of you.
Yes in the beginning
your daddy was afraid;
Only he would love you unconditional
and never run away.
He loved you more this I do know,
as he cried for you that day,
When the doctor said that you were gone,
daddy wanted you to stay.
He would have held you close to him,
and see your perfect form,
A gift of daddy's love,
would have kept you safe and warm.
Only now you are an angel over me
beautiful and bare,
My heart would hurt if you cried for me
and mommy was not there.
Still we are together in my heart and memories,
You are still a part of my memory.
Rest gentle now 'sweet baby' there is no pain
you are never alone,
I know you are with the guiding angels
in you peaceful home.
I will come with you someday
only now is not my time,
Then we will be together again
again you will be mine.
To the Child of My Heart
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to
come and join our family.
We never had the chance to play.
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle
We long to hold you, touch you
And to listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
the child that we had.
But now you're gone . . .
but yet you're here.
You are our sorrow and our joy,
there's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never.
The child we had, but never had,
and yet will have forever.
Sometimes love is for a moment.
Sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime
In a baby castle, just beyond my eye
My baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who am I to wish him back into this world of strife?
No, play on my baby, you have eternal life.
At night when all is silent and sleep forsakes my eyes,
I'll hear his tiny footsteps come running to my side.
His sweet little hands caress me so tenderly and sweet,
I'll breathe a prayer and close my eyes and embrace him in my sleep.
No, I have a treasure I rate above all other,
I have known true glory ~ I am still his mother.
Tiny Angel rest your wings
sit with me for awhile.
How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....
That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?
Tiny Angel shook his head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".
Little Snowdrop
- Author Unknown
The world may never notice If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms, Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way For all eternity.
The little one we long for Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty, Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts Says that we love you.
The one who puts gentle footprints on our hearts leaves a story worth telling...
The right thing to say…
Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never get over it
Please, don’t tell me he's in a better place
He's not here with me
Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me you had him for so many years
What year would you chose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives more than we can bear
Please, just say you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.
A moment in our arms, A lifetime in our hearts
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