1.  One must acknowledge Christ as our primary source of help through:

Prayer
Word Study and Meditation
(See Who You Are in Christť References)
Church Fellowship

2.  One must decide to Change their way of coping.

Unless God does a miracle, it would be unrealistic to expect the person to change their habit from one day to the next.  God is well able and powerful enough to do so if he wants to, but there are times where he chooses to take a person through the “process” of change.  One thing is certain according to Romans 6:18, he has set us “free”.  The problem is we have allowed the circumstances of our environment (problems) to take control of our minds and we begin to live life through our feelings, instead of the spirit God has put in us.  But, it is not unrealistic to say that one CAN change.

3.  One must decide to be honest with someone trustworthy. Talk to them and set accountability.
If you go to someone and talk about the urge, it will help you reduce the distress you may be experiencing at the moment.  Therefore, begin to build a network of godly friends that you can be honest with. They will support you during the difficult times. Above all, know that God is always there for you.
 
4.  One must set up Accountability. 

As you are building your network of friends, you will need to help them help you by instructing them on what you expect from them and how they can be of support to you.  If you only want them to lend a listening ear to help you process what you are thinking and feeling, then you will have to let them know.  If you want them to ask you specific questions when they see you, then tell them what questions you want them to ask. If you want them to pray for you, simply request it. If in the beginning of your new decision to walk in freedom you need someone to be with you during the moments of “temptation,” you will need to let them know in advance so they can know what to expect and how to help.

(But remember, this is a battle only you can fight and win with the help of Christ. We can have friends that will help us with emotional support, but you should not place all your dependency on them. Your full dependency should be on Christ alone. The body of Christ is available for us to pray with, confide in, and fellowship with, but remind yourself they are not your Savior, Jesus is.  They are there to support and help you through this difficult time in life.)

5.  One must put new skills into Practice

In the past, whenever you felt the overwhelming sense of life’s problems, you may have dealt with them through “cutting”.  But, if you want to stop hurting yourself, it will be vital for you to start practicing new coping skills to overcome the urge to injure yourself.

Below is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome that urge.  Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone, as not all battles will be the same.  So, what is helpful to one person may not necessarily be helpful to someone else.

Review the options with your accountability partner or support team and discuss which ones are helpful to you.  As you go through the list and you identify that one of the suggestions actually tempts you rather than help you, then do NOT use that suggestion. Keep in mind that these are only suggestions. Ask the Lord to help you through this process and ask him for supernatural wisdom to help you come up with your own new practices that will help you overcome during temptations.  The more you say “no” to the desires of the flesh, the more you will be satisfied with life through the spirit of God living in you.

During times of Temptation:

Go after your memory verse and read it. It’s time to meditate.
Practice deep breathing (inhale a big breath, and exhale ten times).
Try relaxation techniques by tensing up your body muscles for 8 seconds, then relaxing them for 15. Repeat the exercise in group rotations (legs, arms, upper body). You gain the most of this technique when you incorporate it with your scripture meditation.
Call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line for help.
Try not be alone when you are fighting an urge (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.).
Take a hot bath to help you relax.
Listen to music that you enjoy or relaxes you.
Go for a walk (leave any objects behind).
Write in a journal. (Express your anger, anxiety, stress, etc. Explore for your trigger points. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what is causing you to be tempted to bring harm to yourself.)
Exercise for at least 20 minutes (run, fast-walk, aerobic or anaerobic exercises).
Avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area where cutting objects are kept, etc.).
 
If the temptation is coming at you due to emotional conflict with someone, challenge yourself to approach them in a healthy way making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside. Ask if they have time to talk and let them know what troubled you and how things can improve.
Yell into a pillow how you “feel,” but follow up with scriptures from the “Who you are in Christ? list to speak to your inner-man. Remember, we are not to be ruled by our feelings, we must rule our feelings with the Word of Truth.
Go outside and practice breathing technique (10 big breaths, inhale/exhale).
Take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.).
Work with paint, clay, play-doh, etc. and try to make a sculpture of the tension you are experiencing.  It can help you put your words together and give you some idea of what might be the cause of the underlying pain.  Once revealed to you, surrender them to the Lord and go the His Word for the truth.
Draw a picture of what or who is making you angry, then pray over that situation and begin to walk towards forgiveness.
Instead of harming yourself, remind yourself that you are God’s temple and He esteems you, therefore you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect. (Speak God’s Word over yourself!)
Go to church for worship or fellowship with others.
Break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it and it does not have control over you.
 
If you find unforgiveness or hidden anger towards someone that hurt you a great deal, try writing a letter to the person(s) and express how they made you feel and how they affected your life, but that you choose to forgive them. These letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to cover your hurt, but express it in writing.  You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you have been carrying within.  After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them.  Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, bury the letter, burn it, etc.). But, it is important that before you destroy it, you go before the Lord in prayer and present the letter(s) to him as an act of surrendering all unforgiveness to him and declaring your new choice to forgive, daily.
Do some household chores (i.e. “cleaning”, work on the yard, wash your car or someone else’s, etc.) to get your mind off of the urges till the “wave” of temptation goes away. Remind yourself that the moment is like a “wave,” it will come, but it will also pass. Just hold on through the temptation.
Do some cooking or baking (be creative with it, invite some friends over and fellowship).
Recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar that comforts you, multiple times.
Write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt. Remind yourself what the Word of God says about you (see Scripture reference sheet).
 

Write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happening again. (Remember, find out what your triggers points are. Where and how does the enemy trick you into falling? What thoughts or mental whispers do you hear during these times of temptation? Write them down and you’ll begin to see the strategy the enemy uses against you.)
 
Scripture meditation. Memorize the Word of God (see scripture hand-out).
Allow yourself to cry.  Getting the tears out can promote healing.  It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self-abuse.  Picture your "hurts" pouring out as you cry before the Lord.
Take a shower.
 
Sing a song or write out what you are feeling as a prayer to God. Let the words just come out of you.  The book of Psalms has plenty of examples.
Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting.  Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't.  Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself.  You are important, significant, and you do not deserve to be hurt.
 

Sometimes, even when you try your new skills, it may still feel like you are not advancing. These moments of desperation are understandable and not uncommon. But you must remember that God is faithful to His Word and that you must continue to stand up and try again, no matter what.  The key is to immediately stand up after a ?fall? and try again.  They temptations will come and go.  The more you deny the temptation, the  easier it will become to say “no”, because the stronger you are becoming in saying “yes” to your freedom and your new way of life.
 

The bible tells us that we must resist the devil and he will flee!  But, as you may already know, it seems the devil will try to come back and try to tempt you again later.  It’s during these times of temptations that the fight may feel overwhelming. Don’t give up! Run to God, share with your support system, and continue to put on the “new man” and try again. You will overcome because you already are an overcomer through Jesus Christ.  Remember, God’s help and grace is there to help you overcome your greatest temptation.
 

Now, it's also important to take advantage of these moments to focus on what pain your heart is feeling.  The following questions may be of help for you as you begin to allow the Lord to search your heart and identify the root of the problem.  Take time to answer them honestly to yourself. No one has to see your answers unless you want to discuss them with someone for feedback. Do not allow the “urge” to control you before “you” explore the urge. Answer the following questions to help you investigate what is going on internally.
 

Is there a deeper root you are trying to deal with? It's important for you to think about what your urge to hurt yourself is "saying" about your feelings and your life. This will give you clues about problems you need to face and work on. Eventually, it will be most beneficial for you to find a friend you can trust and share your deep thoughts with them about this internal struggle and what root lies behind it.  You can also seek out the help of a professional counselor to help you process these questions.
 

Starting with the Basics

Have I put my new skillť into practice faithfully?
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
What have I done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won\'t hurt me?
What word(s) would I use to describe the feeling(s)I am experiencing right now?
What do I tell myself or what do I hear my mind telling me during these times of struggle?
What am I trying to say through my wounds?
What does the pain I inflict on the outside say about the pain I feel in the inside?
How do I feel about myself right now?
How will I feel when I am hurting myself? (satisfied, angry, pleasure, guilty, etc.)
How will I feel after I hurt myself? (satisfied, angry, pleasure, guilty, etc.)  Was it worth it?
How will I feel tomorrow morning? (satisfied, angry, pleasure, guilty, etc.)
How can I avoid this stressor or deal with it better in the future?
Do I really need to hurt myself or is there something different I could have done to deal with my emotional pain?
How close or distant do I feel God before I hurt myself?
How close or distant do I feel God after I hurt myself?
What do I think Jesus feels about me hurting myself?
What does he want me to remember during my times of temptation?
How will I feel if I dont resist the temptation?
How will I feel if I actually overcome this wave of temptation?
 

This series will be concluded with Self Injury Part Three: For Those Desiring to Help,ť featuring what you can do to help and Who Am I in Christ Scriptures.

Related articles:

Self-Injury Part One: What Is Cutting All About?

References/Bibliography
www.self-injury.org

www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

www.users.zetnet.co.uk/BCSW/leaflets/womensa.htm

Mirror, Mirror by Colleen Thompson (1996)

The Final Freedom by Doug Weiss (1998)

Hypnosis With Self-Cuttersť article by Malon and Berardi (1987)

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