Welcome to my theory of hedgehog evolution......

Once upon a time there was a planet called hogslendorf, say it with me (hog-slen-koof) thats what the scientific name is anyway, so i will shorten it down and call it koof (the nickname for it) ...anyhow the planet of Koof had a minor problem with weeds so 1 little koofer (the inhabitants of koof or hogslenkoof) came down to earth to buy some killer for the weeds....and a tractor...but when he set off in his rocket he forgot to untie it from the post which stopped it from floating away when it was docked in the bay, so when he went the whole planet went with him and he didn't notice, he was too busy thinking about his tractor.
Now i cant even begin to imagine what all the koofers were thinking when they realised they were being dragged down to earth but i think it might have been something along the lines of ''oh shit we're being dragged down to earth''.
So then they crash landed and all died on impact, apart from the rocket driver who somehow managed to survive this terrible ordeal, so he set forth and found a half eaten packet of crisps, so he ate the half that was left and got bigger, so now he was a big koof and when koofs get big they turn into Hogs.
So the hog went a found shelter underneath a common garden bush...BUT IT WASN'T A BUSH IT WAS A HEDGE!!! Probably anyway.....
So he lived there the rest of his life and died.....so when he rotted away he helped feed the hedge, so the hedge thought ''that was a helpful little hog he helped me grow'', (he knew it was a hog because he read about it in tree weekly)...
Then when the hedge died it got mixed in with the rotted hog and 5 years later grew into a Hedgehog!!!

The name Hedgehog only came around after the name Hedgekoofer didn't catch on.

Damn right