Asher's Rants

I can't take it anymore!

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Reagan Conservatism The biggest insult you can make to this country is, "I'm a Reagan conservative." The principles of Reagan conservatism are simple: Only rich, straight, white, Christian males should have any sort of advantages in our society. Reagan conservatism (or "Modern conservatism") has Abraham Lincoln spinning in his grave.
"But why?" you ask. "Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, and so are Reagan conservatives." Well, Abraham Lincoln fought for people to have rights. He wanted slaves freed and treated like equals and was also a supporter of woman's suffrage. Some historical evidence suggests he may have even been homosexual. Now, however, conservatives want affirmative action repealed, homosexuals to become straight and, in some cases, don't want women to vote! Ann Coulter said that she wishes women could no longer vote so that we'd never have another Democrat in office. If Abraham Lincoln heard her say that, he would rip off her wig and reveal to the world that she was actually a man. (I have no evidence that Ann Coulter is actually a man, but I can't imagine that a woman would say things that horrible. At least not on public broadcast.) According to the political spectrum, conservatives believe in economic freedom. However, Reagan conservatives believe that everyone should be taxed except the top 1% of the country. Or, we should give up the income tax and replace it with a 30% sales tax. Call me crazy, but I don't think that the poor having to pay an extra 22% on everything is really economic freedom. Some people say, "Democrats waste money, Republicans make it." I think that the Democrats could be completely taken out of that sentence. Under Bush (a great model of Reagan conservatism) we've had an increase in taxes, and increase in gas prices and an increase in food prices - and the national debt is in the trillions. Where's the money?
So, let's see... Reagan conservatism means no social freedom, no economic freedom... Why does the word fascism come to mind? Every time you say, "I'm a Reagan conservative," I automatically picture you at a Nazi rally yelling, "Ve mahst ethnically cleanse ze vorld! Ve are ze master race!" So, to all you Reagan conservatives out there: Stop chanting, "Heil Hitler!" and read a book written by someone other than a Fox News reporter. You'll be surprised by how much it helps.The Abominable Browser    When I heard about the Internet Explorer 8 Beta coming out, I knew I had to try it out. But, being a Mac owner, I couldn't, since Microsoft is dissatisfied with 91% market share and don't want to encourage usage of Mac, Linux, or... God forbid... both. So, every version of Explorer after Internet Explorer 5 was a Windows-only thing. Fortunately, my friend Jordan was willing to let me use his Dell to test out the demo.
    The first thing I noticed about Internet Explorer 8 was zero JavaScript support. You go to a so-called "annoying page" and you'll be looking at a blank page! JavaScript does not register with Internet Explorer 8! Internet Explorer 7 had JavaScript support, but it was limited and slow to respond. For JavaScript support, Internet Explorer 5 and 6 were fantastic, but Microsoft abandoned this for shininess, just like with the functionality of the Windows operating system.
    Next, I tested out my website, because I'm awesome. Specifically, I tested out my Wordpress blog. It did not align properly. However, it looked perfect in every other browser that I used! I tried Firefox, Netscape, Opera and Safari, and they all registered it properly. Then Internet Explorer 8 screwed up the whole banner and navigation part of the blog. Here, take a look (click on each image to enlarge):

My Wordpress blog in Firefox:

My Wordpress blog in Netscape:

My Wordpress blog in Opera:

My Wordpress blog in Safari:

And, finally, my site in Internet Explorer 8:

Be sure not to upgrade to Internet Explorer 8 until Microsoft gets to its senses and adds some HTML, CSS and JavaScript support. In fact, if you're still using Internet Explorer, I recommend switching to Opera or Firefox, which tend to process pages a lot better and run pretty smoothly (Safari and Netscape are a little glitchy on Windows). Generally, Opera has fewer problems, but Firefox processes flash-heavy sites better. Really, I mean, no JavaScript functions? Don't use this trainwreck of a browser.
Just Don't Make 'Em Like They Used to... Am I the only one who misses Windows 2000? Windows 2000 came out way back when Microsoft was more interested in making a sturdy operating system than dominating the market. On Windows 2000 my computer crashed less, didn't get the blue screen of death and generally just ran faster. I had 256 MB of RAM, 10 GB of hard drive space and yet Windows 2000 ran with fewer problems than any other operating system. Then came Mac OS X. Mac OS X was shiny and it was built on Unix, so it didn't crash or get the blue screen of death. And there were no known viruses, spyware or adware for it. Microsoft's worst nightmare! So then Microsoft became obsessed with gaining an edge over Apple. They decided to make XP shiny, because then people were less likely to notice when not_a_virus.exe crashed their system. So XP became the shiniest new operating system out of Microsoft. However, it crashed all the flippin' time and the blue screen of death would pop up on a fairly regular basis. The stability of Windows 2000, Microsoft's least complained about operating system, was dead.
Windows Vista just made this worse. Not only is it even shinier than XP, but it also doesn't work with a lot of peripherals and software! Shininess doubles, functionality is cut in half. Mac OS X, however, doesn't have this problem. Every thing that was compatible with Mac OS X Tiger is also compatible with Mac OS X Leopard. So if you're looking for something for your Macintosh, you don't have to look for a "Mac OS X Leopard certified" sticker.
But Apple has its shortfalls as well. For example, the awful new Apple Keyboard - so wafer thin that you can't feel which keys your pressing! It's like a laptop keyboard, only thinner and I make more mistakes on it than on any other keyboard. To quote one dissatisfied customer, "When I complained about the new keyboards at my local Apple Store one of the salesmen proudly told me that the keyboards are 'ergonomic'. I suspect it was a new word to him."
Sometimes I really miss the old electronics. Windows 2000 and the old Apple Keyboard are just two examples. There's also the big problem of the translucent menubar in Mac OS X Leopard. But that's another rant, for another time.