TRANSSETTER

Well lets see whats going on in life....well A LOT :).

Fast forward...Im almost 2 years on T and 8 days away from having a hysto. Im pretty nervous about it...but im ready

So what i will be doig is posting all bloggs and surgical happenings on my blogger

www.toyneo.blogspot.com

follow the roads ahead there

Salaam

So as everyone knows I have been busy getting word out about Tranzwear. I just want to say thank you to all of you out there that have been either spreading the word or  donated at one point in time.

As of today I have been informed that so far with everyones help I have raised <u>$546</u> towards my top surgery goal for next summer. Thank you everyone for your help and please continue to spread the word on the sponsorship.

Moving along to my update.....

Well I have been fine so far just heading into month 13...or as I normally would call it the great 1.1 lol. It's been a bit even so far no major changes besides me getting hairier. I would think from looking at the men on my moms side I wouldn't be this hairy, well bodily anyway seeing as though they aren't hairy like that. But facial hair they are extremely hairy. That I have no problem with I can feel my cheeks filing in for right now I'm keeping everything close shaven but my goatee and sideburns. Its too damn hot for a full beard lmao.

Other then that I have just been maintaining and enjoying my days to the fullest. It feels good to see so many people making progress. It's no fun just to do it alone, ya know. Still feels good to see my bros smile when they hit milestones, you guys are the best.

Well on to what I do best...

peace

Sooo almost 365 days ago I began my physically journey to becoming the man I have always felt like I was. A lot has changed and a lot of people have come and gone but all in all my experiences that I have shared with my brothers can not be measured at all.

They say the LGBT community is lacking which is true in many many ways but I think with all the recent FTM commotion and what have you it has been a bad thing but at the same time good and I'll explain.

The reason I feel it was good for the light to be turned on was that I think it helped a lot of guys come out. They seen that "hey im not the only one" and with that happening it has lead a lot of us to this very site. And with coming here I think we are starting to strengthen the once silent T. There always comes a time for major change I think we have hit that point.

It just goes to show within this year on T the state my ID is from changed policies on gender markers so that I can be male with no issues. Is that ironic or what? Also we are starting to see that we have to build within in order for the rest of the word to catch on. Such companies as TranZwear understand that need and are making the effort to build our trans-community.

For those that know me know I have eons of ideas....some which are getting ready to surface that I am very proud of and others that lay dormant in the fire pit until its ready to be served on a silver platter to the world.

Im not too sure why the hell im nervous about a year. It came soooooo fast, I swear I still remember Kapri telling me to shut up and take my very first shot. It seems like just yesterday, which at times I wish it was I miss my bro more then ever. But I know he is not missing out on anything, he's seen me grow into the man I am and I know he is more then proud of his little brother. And I'm going to continue to make him proud as little brothers should.

A year from now I will be healing from top surgery which just feels sooooo past surreal. It's either Dr. B(not brownstien) or Dr. C the main thing is travel one is on the other side of the freaking country and one is here in this state. BUT i love Dr. C's results and I speak to him quite often as I check in with him and keep him updated on changes that are going on with my chest. So I just have to decide whether I want to take a road trip or not, anyone that has their money up by then that wants to carpool let me know theres already 2 others going so far so let me know. They are $300 in difference so price im not too worried about as of right now unless the economy does some backwards ass shit in the next year. If I do use Dr. B we are going to have to work out somethings because I want to be under only once unless I absolutely have to do a revision. Me and my bros have a consult with him on the 6th so I will def be talking to him about all my issues then.

I will also be a married man next year, well technically this year because we are getting married first so she can change her and my sons ID's and what not. Yes it is officially official July 2009. Like no one knows how excited I am for this. Most men my age run from commitment but this is something I've always wanted. She works my ever lasting nerves and we do have our issues but when it all comes down to it thats my rock. She's dealt with all my transition and has been my biggest motivator. When I got fed up and couldn't take it anymore she was always there telling me be patient and things will happen. I'd be a fool to let her walk out of my life so I gotta make her mine. I just think GF's are over rated, a grown man needs a wife by his side not a girl. For my bros that want to know more now just hit me up but until then we wont be sending out invites till Jan maybe Feb. If you want to know the place all I'm going to say is bring your trunks and some sun tan theres going to be a lot of beach and pretty water ALOHA!

Does anyone else have a transition timeline? well shit I do Im about right where i want to be. My cheeks are going back in bit by bit and getting longer and thicker. which is cool but irritating cuz it itches like i got something on my freaking face lol.

But my next step in transition is this gender marker. Now there's 2 ways I can go with it. I think I can do it in VA with my NJ ID but im not sure how much hassle they will give me with out having my name change papers and such. OR I can carry my ass to NJ DMV and just have them do it once the flipping doc decides he wants to fill out the form. What you all think? Oh and does anyone know how you get papers from the court without being in that state? I realllllllllllllllllllllllly dont want to have to go all the way to NY if I don't have to.

Besides transition im doing pretty well...just trying to get my company and frat in stone so everyone stay tuned for that.

peace:D

So far I have had a total of 10 pairs sold in my name. For only 2 weeks time that is not bad at all I'm very appreciative of those of you that could help. Or that have already helped in so many other ways. No matter how big or small everything matters and is great help. Sometimes I think people can lose track of that when they want something so bad. Patience is definitely the key to succeeding. Everyone levels being successful differently I count all my success no matter how small.

I have also been informed from Tyler (Owner of TranZwear who just got his legal name and gender change approved...congrats man) that they will be adding a page to TranZwear including some information about myself and a few pictures. So that way if you forget how to spell my name or the other referral codes you can just go to the page itself. As soon as that is up I will def. link that back here so everyone can get a chance to see it if they please.

Also I would like to thank the volunteers (Brittney and Ramone) that will be working at the TranZwear booth for Denver Pridefest that will be helping to spread the word and get donations there as well. I would also like to say thanks to those of you out there that have been spreading the word it means the world to me.

I have a few things planned that I will be sharing with everyone. But when i get more detailed info I will drop that on you all. Til then thanks again everyone...peace

p.s.

There's a 15% off code as well send me a message up for that if you are interested

After a fellow transman read a blog of mine I was asked if i would like to be sponsored to help raise money for my surgery. The company is called TranZwear, they make FTM specialty briefs...so no jockstraps, no packy holders, or anything. There is a special packy pocket made fitted into your briefs you just put your packer in and go. Once I receive mine I will be making a full youtube to show all the features in detail. Can you please do the favor of helping to spread the word to the bros, or SOFFA's or anyone willing to help. IF you plan on attending DENVER PRIDEFEST and see TranZwear most def. mention my name.

This is EXTREMELY important to me. For every purchase that is made using my name (Antoyneo) I get $2.00 towards surgery. This was a blessing for me to have this offered.

Here is the site link to their site:

TranZwear

I really really really need you and every other brother out there to help on this one. I'm not really a club or ball person but if you are on the scene you can help promote this for me.

They sponsor 1 transman a year so once mine is up (may 2010) they will be looking for another so that is incentive for those that are seeking a way to the next level.

So twitter this, blog this, print it out and hand it out, any and everything you can think of please do to get the word out about this. BUT PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO MENTION ANTOYNEO. That is the only way i will get credit.

Thank you in advance.

P.S.

I have 15% off coupons as well you can just leave me a message and i'll get back to you

WELL I AM 3700 AWAY FROM SURGERY. SO I DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND LEARN HOW TO REVISE MY CHIPIN SO NOW IT ACCURATELY REFLECTS MY SURGERY TOTAL OF 4300. IT WOULD TAKE 185 PEOPLE WITH $20 DOLLARS OR 37 WELL HEARTED PEOPLE WITH $100. I'VE HAD 2 VERY WELL HEARTED PEOPLE SO FAR...THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOO MUCH.

AS FOR ME I START THIS TEMP JOB ON WEDS SO HOPEFULLY I WILL BE ADDING SOME MORE OF MY OWN MONEY. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HAVE TO LIVE LIFE EVERYDAY AS WELL. I HAVE DONE A DAMN GOOD JOB OF SAVING FOR NOT HAVING A JOB AT ALL FOR A YEAR. AND DISPITE THOSE THAT CHOSE TO SAY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT ME ASKING FOR HELP FUNDING MY SURGERY I STILL PUSH ON.

I DECIDED TO ADD THIS PAGE SO THAT PEOPLE CAN KEEP UP WITH MY PROGRESS AND ALSO SEE THAT IT IS NOT A JOKE AND I'M NOT JUST SCAMMING PEOPLE BUT THIS IS A REAL NEED.

TOP SURGERY BLOG

PLEASE EVERYONE THAT KNOWS ME WELL AND EVEN THOSE THAT DON'T PRAY THAT I REACH MY GOAL. THIS IS A VERY HARD TRYING TIME WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING SO BAD BUT CAN BARELY MAKE IT.

THANK YOU TO THOSE THAT HAVE HELPED ME SO FAR. AND THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU THAT WILL HELP IN THE TIME TO COME.

PEACE:D

I'm doing pretty ok i suppose a bit under at the moment but it's for other reasons besides transition. 313 days of a new life well over due...here's a picture so you can see a little difference...excuse the hair in the first pic i needed my mop done. Something I did notice I looked like i got taller in the pic, and they say it can't happen lol.

Yesterday was the first day i actually got some decent sleep in months...13.5 hours to be exact. I feel like the energizer bunny right now. AWESOME!

DISCLIAMER FOR FAMILY MEMBERS THAT MAY READ THIS: I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH THIS IS MY BLOG AND I NEEDED TO VENT. SO IF I OFFEND YOU I'M SORRY BUT AT THE TIME YOU DID NOT RESPECT ME EVEN AS A HUMAN LET ALONE YOUR SON.

Have you ever felt yourself not wanting to look at other peoples pics, not transition wise but just things they get to do everyday that you can't do or have never done in your life? I get like that at times. It's like deep down I know I should be able to do this and that but because of how my life has been I feel like I miss out on so so much. Vacations, road trips, parties, etc. I was never the kid invited to parties, couldn't go to sleep overs, my mom would barely let me leave the area because I always had kids to watch cuz she was too fucked up and would leave for days at a time. I ended up getting abused like this but that's another story. My dad always put his GF's first so it was kinda like long as our alive whatever. Hell i really didn't have friends in school and all my friends we the "unpopular" kids, most of their parents we racist so that was a no go. I think this is one of my main triggers of campus life that scares me and make me not want to go to school on campus but online instead, everything no matter what seems to repeat itself in my life.

The only reason my parents got married was because of me, by 3 months old they were separated(they didn't divorce until my 18th bday). My mother was strung out and my father was overseas so my grandmother raised me till I was 7. I should have never left her side. I wasn't spoiled but I never wanted for anything. Even though for 2 years I held a secret from her. The day I left to live with my dad my whole life changed.

Living with my dad I was basically on my own, I had to fend for myself the Marines, Gym, and Women consumed my father's attention. Yes it is a fact this man sat his own child down to my face and told me "MARINES ARE FIRST YOU ARE A SECOND PRIORITY". His only child, the one he is suppose to love more then life itself he tells this to. Now I'm not even worthy enough to have a picture on his facebook page but my cousins, his wifes children and everyone else are. Does he hate me that much or does he hate my mother that much which makes him hate me too? The one GF he had since I was a baby he cheated on her and made her leave my life. I think that is one of the most foulest things he has done by far, she loved me she raised me she was there when my mother would lie and say she was coming to get me and I sat in the window for hours waiting, she was like my mom. He once took me to San Fransisco and I got cussed out the whole way there(11 hours from 29 palms CA) because he thought I told his ex he was trying to still get with about him seeing another chick in San Fran. I didn't even know anything about the lady or us going to San Fran, I was at school all day and didn't even know we had a trip planned till I got home. The words he said hurt so bad "your not shit just like your good for nothing mother". I remember it and it plays over and over in my head ever day till this day. Then we get back home and his best friend confesses to telling his ex, till this day he has never said sorry. He would let his girlfriends talk to me just about anyway they pleased. I remember I was outed by his ex's daughter for having a GF at 12 and he stood there while she told me I was disgusting and God hated me and I was going to burn in hell. Followed by her kicking me out of the house, mind you him still standing there, I was 12 ppl. Then the faithful day his GF asked me to make her coffee and her son washed dishes using bleach I rinsed out the coffee pot well and proceeded to make it like i always do. I go to my room lock the door as I always did when I was sleeping to be awakened by a state trooper standing over me handcuffing me and taking me to his car. No shoes no shoes just a beater and bball shorts. She told my dad I tried to kill her because she tasted bleach in her coffee (did anyone see where i said i didn't wash dishes?). I was committed for 3 weeks, until they finally figured out I did nothing wrong but by then I was severely depressed so they had to put me on something. I wasn't even allowed to sleep in my own house I had to stay with neighbors, I cried all day at school the next day. THEN he listens to the broad after I warned him all she wants to do is get rid of me and then she is going to leave you. He sends me off to my mom's after driving 3 hours to LAX, when he gets home she is gone, her stuff is gone, her kids are gone, and the house is bare. Karma karma karma

I get to my mother's boy oh boy, kiss my whole life good bye on wheels. I never did anything, went anywhere, and always had to defend myself in my own house. Why you ask coke, crack, and alcohol. It was a routine fri-mon my house was full of crack heads and alcys. I always had kid s to watch becaous my mother would get strung out and drunk and disappear for days at a time. I ended up getting abused by my brother and sisters father like this, hence me keeping something from my grandmother for 2 years. I would visit my mom summer and holidays and this would happen all the time form 5-11 I was a personal play toy. BUT enough about that crap...Middle and HS with my mother sucked for all ot the above and below reasons. Most times I just sat by myself for 6 hours at school then I would go home and sit in my room smelling a mixture of cigs and crack rising through the vent due to my room was above the kitchen. They didn't even care to conceal it and my syblings were in the living room while they did this in the kitchen. It pissed me off so much so so much bad enough I was as old as I was and had to deal but they were just babies. Then it was hearing yelling, screaming and drunkenness all night until I would have to go down stairs and fight my step father cuz he would be beating on my mother. When they weren't fighting and she was jsut there drunk she would call me down stairs and pick arguments with me. This landed me in juve over 30 times, around the 3rd time I was there the stupid state caught on that it was not me that was the issue it was her. Especially after me telling my P.O. that i rather be in juve that in my own house. I was put in foster care and that was 208476 times worse then being at her house. Then they tried a group home, they should've just put me in a damn box on the corner for all that bullshit. This is why I dread living with my mother, but this time around since I am grown she really doesn't mess with me but just all the prior thoughts get to me a lot.

I admit my childhood or should I say lack there of was horrible and it has made me a bit bitter towards certain things. I'm not saying I'm hating on anything thats just not in my nature. I've been raped, beaten, abused, used, neglected, and much more but none of these people that caused this pain do I hate. No matter if someone has what I don't have I always commend them on their success. I've always been the nice guy and at time it leads to a blatant smack in my face by those I've been there for. I digress...

Like some times I feel myself losing grips on things and having urges to dissociate myself from the rest of the world for good. Not speaking of death but just going far far far away from every thing I've ever known. The things and people I hold dear don't seem to return the favor. Kind of like when you don't really like someone but you play the i'm going to smile and nod game. I've live most of my life like that and it hurts a lot.

People say I don't smile, what for? Half the time I have to force it because deep down besides my T and my boys I have nothing to smile for. I have nothing to really look forward to. And your probably saying ok yea you do Toyneo, but in all truthful standings I don't. My life has been one long big ass circle. I go from having my own and to having nothing, to having my own to having nothing, I know i deserve so much more I know I need so much more. But I really don't know what the problem is then the less heartful people will say "thats just life it happens", 21 years of a revolving never ending circle is a long time for it to be "just life happening".

Oh well I assume another day and the same stuff once again...Just had to get this off my chest....

peace

It by all means has not been an easy almost year of job searching. No one is trying to hire anyone for any reason it seems like but in due time I have to survive and save for the long run so I went inet surfing. Some horrible trial and error tactics trying to do some peoples paid to click sites...some are a complete rip off others do work. The ones that worked I continue to use them and wanted to share them with my bros out there that are like me. JOBLESS...the amount of money made daily is not what someone with a job would want but for someone who's monthly gross is 0 how does 100 or 200 or even 300 dollars a month sound to you? Well it sounded pretty damn well to me...lol.

Enough of my endless chatter here's the sites for you all:

http://getpaidto.com/?ref=57080http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/theme/silver/palette.gif); background-color: transparent; visibility: visible; width: 14px; height: 12px; background-position: -1128px 0pt; background-repeat: no-repeat; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top; display: inline;" src="http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/t.gif" />


P.S.

THERE'S ARE OTHERS I GET PAID BY ALL THE TIME:

http://cashcrate.com/891536http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/theme/silver/palette.gif); background-color: transparent; visibility: visible; width: 14px; height: 12px; background-position: -1128px 0pt; background-repeat: no-repeat; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top; display: inline;" src="http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/t.gif" /> (paid by the 20th of the month check)

http://www.fusioncash.net/?ref=arobinson1http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/theme/silver/palette.gif); background-color: transparent; visibility: visible; width: 14px; height: 12px; background-position: -1128px 0pt; background-repeat: no-repeat; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top; display: inline;" src="http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/t.gif" /> (paid on or after the 20th of the month paypal or check)

http://www.treasuretrooper.com/toyneboihttp://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/theme/silver/palette.gif); background-color: transparent; visibility: visible; width: 14px; height: 12px; background-position: -1128px 0pt; background-repeat: no-repeat; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top; display: inline;" src="http://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.74/t.gif" /> (instant payout paypal or check of $5.00 min)

Like I say It's not much but it def def does help..so feel more then free to sign up...it would be wonderful if we could get a chain of sign ups and help support each other. IF nothing else please sign up for the first one, or the last 2 I get a referral credit which inturn is you actually donating to me without out of pocket costs. I mean it would be lovely if you did a few surveys which is also helping to donate. But I understand some people don't like doing them which is fine. All I ask is for you to either sign up or donate .50 to my chip in on my home page.

Other then trying to get surgery funded I am moving back with my mom shortly so I will be writing from there soon. I will be on my ninth month on T in 7 days. I have a lot of facial hair coming in ??(finally feel like I missed puberty lol). And over all I'm happeir then a kid in a candy store.

Another day and another shot...I assume just another day with a long drawn out boring ending. My life what a wonderful place right...lol. Im in a bit of a pissy mood right now but you would be 2 with no food in 2 days...ugh. Im smacking my self right now for multiple reasons but its whatever.

just letting the masses know im breathing still...peace

I'll be going 7 months strong on the 9th some what interesting to see theres a lot that is going on so things in life are very interesting now. Still looking for some kind of job thats going to be better then the others but theres not too many options. I am glad we do have a new man in office this should and I'm hoping for a better 4 or even better yet 8 years of commitement from him.

I have found another paid email site that seems to be pretty good so far just sign up and your good to go I'll see how well this works out once I start getting paid ya know.

Hope all is well in the world with every one keeping up with me. stay blessed

peace