July 1, 2004
Welcome to my homepage. I have created this page as sort of a chronicle of my weight loss journey. I will be updating it periodically to show my progress. There will be progress!
To tell you a bit about myself, I am 39 years old (40 in September) and have been overweight my whole life. I can't remember a time when I wasn't the biggest kid in school. For that matter, I can't remember a time when I wasn't the biggest person in a room. It's humiliating, embarrassing and frustrating. I'm lucky though, my family never made a big deal about it, other than a few distant relatives that would give me a "helpful hint" now and then. But my immediate family never teased me, poked fun at me, or even mentioned much for that matter. My Mom, who is also overweight, did try a couple of times to get me to lose weight with her, and we did, with some success. My biggest success coming when we joined Nutri/System. I lost about 100 lbs. But you know the routine, quit eating THEIR foods and gain it all back, plus. That's what happened. I tried Weight Watchers a couple of times, and they worked great. But something always happened and I'd quit and the same thing happened, I'd gain it all back, plus. It's hard when you are married and trying to eat right and your husband is wanting Mexican food every night, or bringing home snack food all the time. I'm not saying it's his fault, it's totally mine. He didn't force me to eat that bag of chips. I'm weak. I admit it.
So, that brings us to today. Today, the first day of my weight loss journey. This time, it's going to work. I WANT it to work. It's going to work. I officially joined Weight Watchers today. Why did I join WW today? There are several reasons. The most obvious reason is my health. I need to be healthy. I'm not really in BAD health, but being this overweight, isn't healthy in general. I need to move more. It's hard to move more at my weight, so obviously, I need to lose weight. Another reason is that I want to do things again. I don't go to movies, concerts, sporting events, plays, etc. any more. I don't fit in the seats. It's embarrassing, but true. We, my husband and I, both love movies and theater, but I'm too embarrassed to go. I know, I shouldn't be embarrassed, I have every right that everyone else there has to enjoy an evening out. But when you walk into a room and you hear snickers, laughter and nasty "under the breath" remarks from people around you, it's hard to enjoy the evening. My sweet husband is so good about this though. He never pushes me. Maybe he should. He loves me for who I am, not what size I am. I adore him more than anything in the whole world. He knows I do. I want to be able to go out on dates with him again. Another reason is that in about a month, I am going to have a new neice. She is also going to be my Godchild. I want to be able to get on the floor and play with her. I want her to be able to sit on my lap (heck, I just want to HAVE a lap again! LOL) and read a book. I don't want her to have to ask me why I'm so fat. I want to be around for her.
The final reason, I guess, is because of a commercial I saw on television. I don't remember the product, some weight loss gimmick, but that wasn't important. The woman in the commercial said that she felt like she was erasing herself from her families memories because she didn't want to be in any pictures. That's when I realized, I do that. I hide when cameras come out. Who wants to look at pictures of themselves at this size? Not me! If you look at our vacation pictures, birthday pictures, Christmas pictures, you'd think I wasn't even there! I am always the one who takes the pictures. It's not because I'm trying to be a photographer. Nope. It's because I am avoiding being in the picture. I would love to have new pictures taken with my husband. I want to take pictures with my and my Godchild. I don't want to have to run when someone gets a camera out. I want to be a part of the memories my family and friends have.
So, now you know a bit about me. I'm going to be adding the dreaded pictures. I'm going to post updates as I progress. As I said before, there WILL be progress. This time, I'm doing it for ME.
