Welcome to my website! As a reward for losing 100 pounds, I have decided to put this site together to document my progress in pictures and share my struggle with the world. This is a big deal for me as I am a rather private person, and I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be posting pictures of myself. However, I am proud of the progress I have made so far, and I am excited about the journey ahead. As I put this site together, I am down 101.4 pounds. I am basically half way through the weight I hope to lose - I have 91.2 pounds left.
My weight problem started when I was in the 3rd grade. I began to plump up. I was often made fun of in school, and this didn't help my self-esteem at all. I hated the way I looked (though in retrospect, it probably wasn't that bad in grade school.) After 8th grade, I moved to another state and went from a small private school to a large public school. I definitely gained weight in high school as I struggled to adjust. My 10th grade homecoming dress was a size 20. It was then that I tried my first diet, Atkins, and lost about 14 pounds. As soon as I went back to eating normal foods, I put the weight back on plus more. I graduated high school and moved away from my family to go to college. This was definitely a difficult time as I had never had to shop for or prepare my own foods. I definitely gained weight, although I can't say how much as I avoided scales (and mirrors and pictures) like the plague. My second year of college, I tried dieting again, this time through just watching what I ate and exercising. I'm sure I lost a few pounds, but I can't recall how many. During my third year, I was able to study abroad in Europe and while I don't know how much, I know I lost weight. I was preparing my own food and walking *everywhere*. I reached my lowest weight during this time, 250 pounds (maybe a little lower.) I was a size 20, and while I felt better about myself, I still did not have a very positive body image. I scrutinized and critiqued every picture that I was in.
When I got back from Europe, I wanted to continue battling my weight problem, and I signed up for E-Diets. Because I still did not have a good grasp of truly healthy eating, I decided to go with a plan that E-Diets devised which included mostly frozen meals (Lean Cuisine.) I remember feeling hungry a lot. I exercised every day. I think I did lose about 10 pounds though because my clothes were feeling looser. Then I got a cold, stopped exercising and everything fell apart after that. Fast forward to my last semester in college. I was finally living on my own (after three years of roommates) and I was working a part-time job, while going to school full-time and trying to write my thirty page thesis so I could graduate with honors. I couldn't handle the stress of my schedule and my eating spiraled out of control. I frequently ordered pizza, take-out chinese, went through drive-thrus. Because they were all located close by one another, I would even stop at multiple fast food places to get different items all for the same meal. I cooked healthy once in awhile, but more often than not, it was junk. I would drink flavored coffee drinks with lots of calories to stay up late into the night so I could type my paper, and I would often rely on a bag of Cheetos to keep me awake and working. By the end of my time in college, I weighed 300 pounds. I remember looking in the bathroom mirror one day and realizing that I was losing the shape of my face. The video of me accepting my college diploma is difficult to watch.
After college, I came home to live with my parents for a bit while I figured out what my next step would be. My whole family struggles with their weight and we all joined Weight Watchers together. It was my very first time joining. I wanted to do something about my weight, but I wasn't fully committed. It was more because my mom dragged me along. I didn't journal very religiously but because there was much healthier food in the house and I wasn't eating the fast food, I lost about 30 pounds. Eventually, I moved out of my parents house and into an apartment. Money was very tight and my stress levels were high because I still did not know what I wanted to do as a career. I stopped going to WW and my meals started coming from the dollar menu again. The weight slowly started to creep back on. I decided to become a teacher, I moved across the state and was finally living "on my own." Unfortunately, again I did not deal with my stress very well and handling the stress of my first career job was too much to deal with. I ate through all of my emotions. Fast food again became my best friend, and I would often joke that I was the one that kept McDonald's in business. I probably went through the drive-thru 5 or 6 nights a week. I did not own a scale so I had no idea how much I weighed.
After two years of this behavior, I finally went to get a physical at the doctor's office. I was scared to find out what I weighed, but I figured a high estimate would be in the 320's. When they weighed me, I found out that I had eaten myself up to a weight of 344 pounds. I was devastated. Completely, totally in shock. On top of that, the doctor told me my blood sugar was in the pre-diabetic range. My blood pressure was high and I was suffering from agonizing heart burn every day. I was only 24 years old. I broke down in the doctor's office and begged her for information on weight loss surgery. We talked a little, and she suggested I try Weight Watchers first. I knew I had had some success previously, but I was really scared to go on my own. My mom came to visit me a few weeks later and we ended up attending the first meeting together on November 19th, 2005. I weighed 342.6 pounds.
It's been 14 months since I joined, and I can honestly say that Weight Watchers changed my life. I've lost 100 pounds, but more than that, I feel better about myself. I exercise on a regular basis. My blood sugar is no longer at pre-diabetic levels. I was able to stop taking Prilosec for my heart burn and I no longer have those issues either. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and I'm always drinking my water. I haven't gone through a drive-thru since I started. (Not because it isn't allowed, but because of my prior issues.) Before WW, I was having a hard time bending over to tie my shoes. I was out of breath after walking up the one flight of stairs to my second-story apartment. Now I take those stairs two at a time occasionally. When I look at pictures of myself, I am no longer ashamed. I feel pride at the progress I have made.
I have a ways to go, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I have some measure of control over this weight problem. No longer do I feel like I am fighting a hopeless battle.
Thank you for sharing my journey with me.
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